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I have learned that the words "amar" and "querer" are VERBS. For me this means ACTIONS. I do not need to ask a latina if she "loves" me or even likes me.  I just need to look at HER actions towards me in each moment.  From the first meeting till the nth date, I only need to watch the way she ACTS with me. Even in the first date, I only need to see if she acts comfortable with me with her body language, she has good eye contact, smiles alot, laughs alot, listens to what I have to say, shares equally with any personal stories, shows an interest in me with her enthusiasm, wants to hold my hand..............etc. If her ACTIONS do NOT show this kind of interest, I KNOW that she is probably already thinking of the next date she has scheduled or maybe what she and her Colombian boyfriend are going to do tonite as soon as she can get rid of me ......latina style of course. (gently and always with a smile)  And of course my ACTIONS towards her are also showing her of my interest, or lack thereof, in her. Reread some of Pete's posts (hope it is alright to make an example of your relationship Pete???) about his current girlfriend whom I have had the great pleasure to meet in Cali.   When he describes how great she is he is always talking about what she DOES for him.  ACTIONS!!   I am sure there alot of loving words attached to these actions, but if there were NO ACTIONS, the words would be meaningless. (this is speaking for myself, not Pete) I guess that in my life I have not had "that many" beautiful women in love with me. And so, when I go out on a date with a beautiful latina and she shows a real interest in me and SPARKS FLY, it's her ACTIONS that ignite the sparks, not her words,  and those loving ACTIONS always appear in living TECHNICOLOR!!!!!

... in response to how I  tell if a latina really is intere..., posted by adventuro on Sep 30, 2005

It was fun meeting you asnd thanks for helkping Jesse with the trsnslations.He is working on swpanish 5eal hard,is aheasd of mde grmatically but sometimes i just know stuff he does not,just more time exposure I guess.
Yes I agree about actionms.I would agree about asctions.If they really care abouit you they weill let you know.Proiblem is e opposite can be harder to reasd and they can be so ffectionate.like this girl reaslly likes me az\nd its just an autmatic foir them.Guess I wascthinking of that right now because as friend staying here had aq modle type last night and we went out tyogethert.He had tortin snf do sdomething for 30 miniutes,we sat withb her and anothrr girl ast as retaurasnt drinking wine then ordered whenn he retuirned.To me she was a ice queen,stuck on her self,not even smiling,I would kick her to the curb in 30 seconds,regardkess of her looks.But he comes back she turns on the charm,affection.
He doesn't see it.Look out.

Pete

... in response to how I  tell if a latina really is intere..., posted by adventuro on Sep 30, 2005

what about the post trip? emails? phone? what about the actresses that hold your hand and play kissy face or more and then lose you when you return to the EEUU? there are other issues

suerte

... in response to Re: how I  tell if a latina really is in..., posted by papi on Sep 30, 2005

If you can't figure out the real from the fake yet, you either need to go more until you can or stay home. The guy's that are having the most trouble are the ones that just can't let it happen and are stepping on their own toes.

... in response to Re: Re: how I  tell if a latina really i..., posted by soltero on Sep 30, 2005

[This message has been edited by papi]

And finally, I am not in disagreement with I think was the original premise of this thread, that ACTIONS are not important - THEY ARE BUT ONLY HALF THE BATTLE.  Anyone that has spent time in sales most likely picks up on body language and eye contact.  Yet again, I would argue in the importance of the post trip – what is SAID after you return. HEARING amor, te quiero, te estrano is a good thing

... in response to Re: Re: how I  tell if a latina really i..., posted by soltero on Sep 30, 2005

This discussion reminds me of a guy I used to work with years ago.  He was slightly overweight, bald, and a total ladies man.  He was married so maybe some woman picked up on that or liked it – but when we went on business trips together – he was the one that always scored the babes.  I use to tease him – I just don’t get it: Your overweight, no hair yet all the ladies go for you..and I go home alone.  How do you do it??  And his reply was always MEN FALL IN LOVE WITH THEIR EYES, WOMEN FALL IN LOVE WITH THEIR EARS.  Take it from an expert – he was

... in response to case history, posted by papi on Oct 1, 2005

This reminds me of something similiar:

I had a friend that used to say: "God! You know all the good looking girls?" I'd reply: "If you want to know the good looking ones, then you need to talk to the good looking ones." Yep! That simple.

V-Dude

... in response to Re: case history, posted by valleydude on Oct 1, 2005

When I was in law school, I used to get invited to all the parties. Sure I'm a fun guy but it was also because I had a huge posse of good-looking women that I would bring along. Most of them were just friends but guys would always want to know how I knew so many good-looking women. My standard response, "Easy, I talk to them!".

... in response to Re: Re: how I  tell if a latina really i..., posted by soltero on Sep 30, 2005

i dont know how anybody could argue that words are not important in a relationship - whether you speak the language or use a translator/guide. As I mentioned below, woman fall in love with what they hear. I think Darolina would agree with that

... in response to Re: Re: how I  tell if a latina really i..., posted by soltero on Sep 30, 2005

Soltero, after meeting hundreds of latinas i can usually spot the fakes but some could get an academy award for a free meal...but the bigger point i was trying to make is that words count (at least in my view). Not just from my own experiences, but I have seen many romances fall apart when the guys went home. I would agree with the original poster - actions are important but again so is what they say. And woman are woman and it is often said they fall in love with their ears. If they go goo goo over me with THEIR ACTIONS - that does not mean the deal is closed, at least long-term. Did not one dejected poster here write about an experience where he spent his entire vacation with one woman and they even had sex his last night?  It would appear that her ACTIONS were showing interest at the time.  Yet things apparently went south when he got home – she was SAYING nothing.  I put a lot of stock in email, phone after the trip.  I may not always be successful, but I currently have 3 ladies writing me daily – in Panama, Cali and Barranquilla.  Maybe one will be a keeper – or if I lived in Utah all 3...haha

... in response to Re: Re: Re: how I  tell if a latina real..., posted by papi on Oct 1, 2005

I don't think it matters one way or the other. You are talking about trying to base this on the post trip like it is an indicator. I don't think anything is indicative other than time. A fake will fake you out as long as she is interested or getting something. She could act just as sincere as someone who is. The best way to avoid all that as best as possible is to know what you want, get what you want, and hope for the best. Nothing is certain.

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: how I  tell if a latina ..., posted by soltero on Oct 1, 2005

My chica of February -June 2004 fooled me and some pretty savy friends.I think it was that part of her was sincere,it was just not the whole story.That may sound strange,you are sincere or you are not.But part of the time she really wanted the deal,others not,and bottom line it was not so much about me as what I representerd for her.
I actually liked this person and still do.And she was a wonderfull mother,her kids are super.She still calls me,but I cannot trust her,she stole money from me and then at the end there was another guy.I will not go there.I giggle to myself sometimes,every time the sh!t hits the fan in her life she will remembed her sugar daddy.And her family I am sure tells her about it.She was even telling me about her father giving her a talk,you are 32 years old,what are you doing?Like HOW could you let a guy like THAT get away.

Pete

... in response to Re: Re: Re: how I  tell if a latina real..., posted by papi on Oct 1, 2005

Papi,

The "dejected poster" that you referred to was me. I have already told my "sad little story" before, so I won't repeat it.  It's all over now anyhow.  But, I would like to point out that you are saying almost exactly what I have been commenting on for a good while.  To be sure, I make no claims to be some kind of expert here.  Far from that.  However, I have been attempting ( in my own sweet way) to find out more information of this type. To some degree, some of us were lead to believe that the "average" latina (whatever average means), was sweet, innocent, family oriented, etc.  I am sure that many of them are.  But there are obviously many of them that have skills that would make a con man from Miami look pale in comparison!  Also note that Teo Blas has now posted some very interesting and potentially helpful information on the board that can hopefully address some of these questions.  So, for some of the other posters that seem to think there are "no differences" or no significant differences in AW and latinas--- if that is true, then what the heck are we doing here anyhow???
But, if there are indeed some siginificant differences, good or bad; then I am just trying to find out more.  Of course, I think it's also great that darolina is now occasionally posting on this board.  We need her imput, and hopefully others like her. In my opinion, getting it straight from the latinas cuts out the guess work!

                           OkieMan

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: how I  tell if a latina ..., posted by OkieMan on Oct 1, 2005

"But, if there are indeed some siginificant differences, good or bad; then I am just trying to find out more."
- O-Man, just how much do you need to know? EVERY question you've asked has been answered two times over! You're not gonna find all the answers here or on ANY forum. You're gonna have to learn some spanish & get your ass back down south.

"Of course, I think it's also great that darolina is now occasionally posting on this board."
- Yes, so do the rest of us...

We need her imput,
- And then what are you gonna do? Wear her out with the same questions?!!!

and hopefully others like her.
- So now you're gonna wait until other women join the forum? Don't hold your breath on that one!

In my opinion, getting it straight from the latinas cuts out the guess work!
- WTF!!!! Carolina is just ONE woman, with ONE opinion, O-Man! Not all woman from S.A. are as well traveled, as fluent in a foreign language, as she is.

O-Man, I've been as supportive of you, as much as anyone here. But your "Body Hair" post crossed the line...WITH MY LATINA WIFE!

Senor, no mas estupidas preguntas, solo visita Colombia y trate de divertirse lo mas que usted pueda. Trate de tener cuidado, no todas las mujeres en Colombia son buenas; pero tambien las hay exelentes y son las mas difiles de encontrar.
Buena suerte y que dios lo vendiga.

Stivalis Davis, esposa de Howard

... in response to Huh-Oh Okie....you just pissed her off!, posted by Hoda on Oct 1, 2005

Hoda,

Don't worry; I won't be bothering you or your wife with anymore questions!

... in response to Huh-Oh Okie....you just pissed her off!, posted by Hoda on Oct 1, 2005

Senor, no mas estupidas preguntas, solo visita Colombia y trate de divertirse lo mas que usted pueda. Trate de tener cuidado, no todas las mujeres en Colombia son buenas; pero tambien las hay exelentes y son las mas difiles de encontrar.
Buena suerte y que dios lo vendiga.

Stivalis Davis, esposa de Howard

Sir, no more stupid questions, just visit Colombia and try to enjoy yourself as much as you can. Be careful, because not all of the women in Colombia are good ones, but also, there are excellent ones and they are the most difficult to find. Good luck and God be with you.

Stivalis Davis, Howard's Wife

Now for all of you translation professors, if this isn't exact, I apologize upfront...and Hoda, if your wife could start a once a week column within the forum just telling it like it is with out having to be bothered with answering questions, that would be great.

... in response to Translation, posted by soltero on Oct 1, 2005

My wife takes a peek at the board from time to time, just to make sure that I'm not trying to meet other women (lol). As most of us know, Latinas can be a little emotional at times :-) You should have seen her first draft to O-Man! My wife felt that O-Man had more questions, than answers......BIG BIG BIG no-no to many Latin women! A Man doesn't have to be a "Kick the door down, take no prisoners, drag the woman by her hair into the bedroom" type of fellow....but he has to show/have a little more "spirit" than what the O-Man has shown her in order to find & be found by the right woman.

Dayyum...I've been trying for years to get her to post & look who got it done...LMAO!

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: how I  tell if a latina ..., posted by OkieMan on Oct 1, 2005

[This message has been edited by Cali James]

Hey Okie,

I'm not saying anything new that someone hasn't said before but you're over analyzing this to death.  IMO you should just hop on a plane to Cali.  Think of it as a vacation not a bride search.  Meet a few women and have a good time.  Don't ask a lot of questions, don't bring up marriage, just sit back, observe, learn and listen more than you talk!!  There's no need to play 20 questions or ask overly personal questions, this is the time to learn to become comfortable in the presence of a Latina.  You need to learn to be comfortable (and them comfortable with you) with these women before you even think of anything else.  From reading the comments about your last trip, the woman you met had a good first opinion of you but she never became comfortable around you. She got bored.  You either came on too strong or perhaps you over analyzed the relationship as it was happening.  Big mistake, let things happen in their own time and don't force things.  I don't like playing games but sometimes it's better to hold back a bit.  

Ignore the advice from guys who are always jumping from city to city and have been to Latin America a million times and to no avail.  These guys enjoy the chase, they play lip service to finding a spouse but their actions speak louder than their posts.  

Take care, James

... in response to how I  tell if a latina really is intere..., posted by Cali James on Oct 1, 2005

CaliJames,

Well, you are right about me being different than the guys who enjoy the chase, and just playing around.  And you are right about me over analyzing everything.  I certainly must stop that. Based on what I know about you (which isn't much); you seem to be a nice guy-- and after all, you are married to a lady from Cali.  So, thank you for your helpful remarks-- and I am working on correcting some of my misconceptions.  Besides, I have decided to quit posting here for a good while.  It is not getting me the desired results, and it is obviously upsetting the apple cart; so to speak. Take care.

                             OkieMan

... in response to how I  tell if a latina really is intere..., posted by Cali James on Oct 1, 2005

n/t

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: how I  tell if a latina ..., posted by OkieMan on Oct 1, 2005

Like papi suggests, you definitly need spanish 101 and 102, 201 and 202, or you will never get it straight from the latinas.  You are no longer a newbie, you have been there more than many guys here.  If you have no strong desire to learn enough spanish to communicate, give it up and stay home.

... in response to Before you get on that plane., posted by A1A on Oct 1, 2005

A1A,

Good advice.  However, if you will take note; Pete still speaks almost no spanish, and he lives in Cali!  I can certainly understand his problem.  Some folks are just gifted with learning a foreign language-- at least some can learn it faster than others.  I never at any time said that I had no plans to learn spanish.  What I did say that it was slow going for me.  So, I do see the importance of it.  Thank you.

                        OkieMan

... in response to Before you get on that plane., posted by A1A on Oct 1, 2005

A1A, that is such BS advice but it is an age old argument here on the forum...just dont tell that to the many many husbands of foreign women who dont speak Spanish, Russian or Chinese some of which are my friends. Yea, it helps but can be done without it. My thoughts for Okie are this - hook up with a good guide, one that he can trust and navigate the post trip follow up. I would like to see him go on one of those big tours - it just increases the odds. At a smaller agency, he is going to meet 10-20 women and out of that it might be hard to find mutual chemistry, but a big tour with 500-600 women and the odds are greatly in his favor. Whatever he does, i think most folks agree he needs to get on the plane speaking of which i need to call a taxi for the airport. chao

... in response to Re: Before you get on that plane., posted by papi on Oct 1, 2005

Papi,

I thought that I would say something to you before I leave the board.  I know that you too have had your ups and downs with the fair ladies of "latina land".  I also know that you and I are both struggling because we are not fluent in spanish, and we are not getting any younger either!  As far as myself, I cannot just leave and fly to SA anytime that I want to.  I still have a business to run. Plus, I know that you live in Florida, so for you, it is easier and cheaper to catch a flight to SA.  So, even though the others on this board don't like my questions-- and I understand more than they think I do;  I have not quit the hunt.  I have just had to stand back and try to learn from my past mistakes, and re-group.  Plus, I also have some family obligations that I choose not to talk about on this board.  But, I wish you well in your search.  You recently caught a lot of flack for some of your questions and actions.  So, I guess we can both use some help.  Take care.

                        OkieMan

... in response to Re: Re: Before you get on that plane., posted by OkieMan on Oct 1, 2005

Okie,

Chk out poorbuthappy.com, it's a general site about colombia.  Good for trip planning, just dont ask about relationship advice(it's SUPPOSELY against the rule, but lots of newbies do it anyway), but if want to learn about different cities and what each cities has to offer(for vacation) it's a good site for that type info.  Plus you'll when you you come down, you'll find several expats willing to meet up with you for a beer(and give advice on dating).

good luck with everything, maybe we'll meet up in COL.

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: how I  tell if a latina ..., posted by OkieMan on Oct 1, 2005

Okie, i cant comment further now...I am heading for the plane in a couple of hours. Something I suggest you try - give it another shot amigo with your better understanding of the process, just dont put all your eggs in one basket. Like the Nike commericial - Just Do It. Dont talk about it anymore - you get the basic picture. Get on the fricking plane! Suerte