Title: Darolina, A question for you... Post by: soltero on October 01, 2005, 04:00:00 AM In your post below to Frank O, you mention more than once the differences in the culture in the US and Colombia. I am aware that there are differences, but what I might consider a difference may not be one to you. I am not sure if you have been to the US, but if you have I would like your opinion on what the differences between here and there may be that may stand out to you or from a Colombiana point of view. Also, if you have not been to the US, are you basing the differences in culture on the actions or situations you have viewed or have heard of from some of your female members or friends?
Title: Re: Darolina, A question for you... Post by: Snoopy on October 01, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Darolina, A question for you..., posted by soltero on Oct 1, 2005
Darolina's appearance in this board is like an average AW desire for sex- once in a while :P Title: Re: Re: Darolina, A question for you... Post by: doombug on October 01, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Darolina, A question for you..., posted by Snoopy on Oct 1, 2005
"Darolina's appearance in this board is like an average AW desire for sex- once in a while" No matter, she doesn't seem to offer much insight anyhow. The LA women on Poorbuthappy seem much more knowledgable. Title: Re: Re: Re: Darolina, A question for you... Post by: jediknight on October 02, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: Darolina, A question for you..., posted by doombug on Oct 1, 2005
i've noticed that more women post there, why is that? Title: Re: Re: Re: Re: Darolina, A question for you... Post by: Michael B on October 02, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: Re: Darolina, A question for you..., posted by jediknight on Oct 2, 2005
Why? Because it is a site about Colombia in general, not a site about romantic relationships.....a woman can post there in a 'proud of my country and/or let me show off my knowlege' manner. For what ever my opinon might be worth, I think many of them are much more comfortable in that type of forum. Title: Re: Re: Darolina, A question for you... Post by: soltero on October 01, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Darolina, A question for you..., posted by Snoopy on Oct 1, 2005
I understand that, but she, or another Latina is the only one who would be able to answer that question. Title: Re: Darolina, A question for you... Post by: OkieMan on October 01, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Darolina, A question for you..., posted by soltero on Oct 1, 2005
Soltero,
OkieMan Title: Re: Re: Darolina, A question for you... Post by: caslug on October 01, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Darolina, A question for you..., posted by OkieMan on Oct 1, 2005
Okie, I remember watching the nature program in school on how the mother bird would push the baby bird out to the nest in order to FORCE the baby bird to fly BECAUSE she knew(with 1000's of generation of instint) that it was the ONLY way to get the baby bird to fly. Well, after all your questions AND two trips to COL, there's really nothing more that you can learn from this board. That's what everyone is clammering at you for, fly of the PL nest. Dont worry if you fall on your face the first few dates/women in COL. One thing i noticed when i date, was IF i was rusty(haven't date in 3 or 4 months or more, my first date back, i was VERY RUSTY, too nervous, talked to much(blabber), had nervous energy. I learn just to take the first date back as a warm up session and not fret about it when it didnt go well. then my 2nd date and on, my game was back on and had no problem. You just need to go on lots of date with lots of different girls, then your game will slowly improve. But just sitting on your ass posting question only goes so far. As other posters recommend, go for vacation. if you decide to do it for vacation, pick a city with touristy stuff to do. I recommend BOG, MED, or LIMA if you like big city stuff(museums/historical stuff, party areas, etc.,). Then get on internet sites and start lining up bunch of dates by writing to them(use freetranslation.com for translation help). By time you arrive in the city you should have at LEAST 3 or 4 girls(if not more) to go on dates with you. Title: Re: Re: Re: Darolina, A question for you... Post by: OkieMan on October 01, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: Darolina, A question for you..., posted by caslug on Oct 1, 2005
Caslug, Good advice. Thanks. Title: Re: Re: Darolina, A question for you... Post by: soltero on October 01, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Darolina, A question for you..., posted by OkieMan on Oct 1, 2005
Good luck, Okieman...I feel also that this is a legitimate question. If she chooses to answer it, I am not planning on following it up with five more. I don't think it is your questions in themselves that causes the backlash (well, not all of them...) In my opinion, it is like any other small thing that becomes a monster in time such as a snowball rolling down hill that turns into an avalanche. Some things you have to get out and find out for yourself. Title: See below O-Man Post by: Hoda on October 01, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Darolina, A question for you..., posted by OkieMan on Oct 1, 2005
You just got something done with one post, that I've been trying for a few years to get done :-) Title: Re: See below O-Man Post by: OkieMan on October 01, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to See below O-Man, posted by Hoda on Oct 1, 2005
Hoda, I am writing this post to you since you are monitoring this board. I have decided that since my posts and questions are not well received, then I will not be posting here for a good while. I am sure that all the other "experts" on this board will appreciate that. I will review some other posts occasionally; but it seems that I am not "tuning in" to what the desired posts should be. Therefore, I will not be posting much anymore. But, I want to add that I am not giving up my search for a "special latina". I will just be handling in a more productive way-- and yes, I will be doing my best to learn more spanish! I wish all of the other posters the best in their search. Of course, in your case Hoda, I understand that you are already married. So, best of luck to you, and take care. OkieMan Title: Oh Okieman!!! Post by: Chris F on October 01, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Darolina, A question for you..., posted by OkieMan on Oct 1, 2005
Okieman, You posted "So, maybe in the future, when I ask something, my questions would be received as well???" Dude...you have asked every question allready about this process.....and then waited a few months...and ask the same questions again!!! Then you are surprised when people become critical of this???
STOP MAKING EXUSES THAT ITS TO HARD TO LEARN...YOU CANT LEARN THE LANGUAGE IF YOUR SPENDING ALL YOUR TIME HERE!!!
Title: Re: Oh Okieman!!! Post by: OkieMan on October 01, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Oh Okieman!!!, posted by Chris F on Oct 1, 2005
Chris F, I congratulate you and your wife, (assuming you have a good relationship). That is to your credit. As far as my questions, I will stop, and you don't have to debate about margarine or butter anymore. OkieMan Title: Re: Oh Okieman!!! Post by: valleydude on October 01, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Oh Okieman!!!, posted by Chris F on Oct 1, 2005
That sounds like a good debate, afterward could you let me know if they prefer it out of the tub, or the spray butter? V-Dude Title: Re: Oh Okieman!!! Post by: Snoopy on October 01, 2005, 04:00:00 AM Title: This might help.... Post by: teoblas on October 01, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Darolina, A question for you..., posted by soltero on Oct 1, 2005
Let me jump in here... Darolina may be one of the best Colombianas I know to answer this question, I will be interested to see her answer..... Soltero asks a good question but it is not easy to comprehensively answer. About 9 months ago I prepared a document that is in English and Spanish and is a comparison of our two cultures. I cut and pasted the English text from my document and pasted it below. At the time I was to present this information as part of some classes at Latin Encounters but the classes never came together..... Margreth (darolinas current? former? boss) saw an earlier draft of this Cultural Comparison document and gave it a big thumbs up (I had her laughing). As Margreth (and other Colombians) have confirmed to me (and others) "The US/European and Colombian cultures appear similar but there are really significant differences..." (obviouisly not an exact quote, but you get the idea...) I have since (Sep 05) included the topic and the document I prepared as a handout at classes I have given to Colombianas at another agency and dedicated two one hour blocks of instruction to this topic. It generated lots of discussion from the ladies including many examples of where the gringo guys trip up during dates or during the mating ritual due to cultural differences and lack of cultural awareness. My point is that the below is just a summary, the tip of the ice berg, a skim off the top of the information I have been collecting over the years on the topic of culture differences. It provides markers that allude to the cultural differences but does not spell them out in detail. (i.e. If you are a virgin to Latin America you might be scratching your head a lot as you read, if you are married to a latina you will likely get most or all of it.) I am ready and willing to teach this subject to groups of men or women or to individuals in English or in Spanish -- see my web site for details. IT LOOKS BETTER AND IS EASIER TO REVIEW IF YOU PLACE THE INFO/TEXT IN TWO COLUMNS WITH COLOMBIA ON ONE SIDE AND USA ON THE OTHER AND THEN DO A LINE BY LINE (OR SECTION BY SECTION) COMPARISON. The original document is in English and Spanish as it was prepared for both gringo male and latina female audiences. After I post this I will send the original document to Soltero and he can provide comments on the original if he chooses. If anyone cares to send me an e-mail at teoblas@teoblas.com I will send them a return e-mail with the full document in Microsoft Office Word. My only request is that if you use it, remember to credit the source..... CULTURAL COMPARISON COLOMBIA - USA COLOMBIA Conversation Prefer to know the other person first Evidence and Decisions Feelings are the primary sources of the truth Work and Appointments The economy is weak Men, Women and Relationships More traditional, formal, moderate/conservative Identity Latins ! Be Very Punctual For Your Dates ! THE UNITED STATES Conversation Normally talk business first Evidence and Decisions Logic is the primary source of the truth Work and Appointments The economy is strong Men, Women and Relationships More modern, informal and flexible Identity Universal Ideals Advice During Cultural Exchanges RELAX, Feel, and Enjoy
Title: Re: This might help.... Post by: soltero on October 01, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to This might help...., posted by teoblas on Oct 1, 2005
Teo, I appreciate the response, but the only person or persons who could answer this particular question would be Latina and female. I know of what my perceptions of the cultural differences are and I am asking for hers, or any other Latinas. I am not looking for anything other than that. I am trying to determine if those perceived cultural differences may be valid or just perceptions. I doubt that many of the gringos that frequent the agencies are representative of every aspect of this culture. The US in my opinion has too many cultural differences and only a few that may be similar for anyone on the outside looking in to form a comprehensive opinion, but I am curious as to what the perception is from the Latina point of view. Title: Re: Re: This might help.... Post by: OkieMan on October 01, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: This might help...., posted by soltero on Oct 1, 2005
Soltero, Based on your other posts, I would guess that you are much more experienced than I am, and yet-- you have some questions that you would like darolina to answer from a latina's point of view. Excellent! So would I. However, for some reason, when I try to find these same things out, I am strongly panned for my questions; but yours seem to be respected. Well, I will do everyone on this board a favor. I will stop asking my questions, and I just hope that darolina or possibly some other latinas answer your questions. That way, both of us benefit- ok? Good luck to you. OkieMan Title: Re: Re: Re: This might help.... Post by: soltero on October 01, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: This might help...., posted by OkieMan on Oct 1, 2005
Okie, this is the first question I have asked in a long time and only because I am curious because of what she responded to Franl O in an earlier post. As far as me being respected, I wouldn't take it that far, I just haven't been flamed in a long time. I post more on WLC than here, but I am always reading the board. Don't stop posting because of the advice you have been given. Some may take the giving of advice too far and still have the best intentions, but don't let that deter you in finding what you are looking for. You know better than anyone else what works for you and what you are capable of doing. My question isn't what are the cultural differences, it is actually what SHE thinks are the cultural differences. I am no expert in this (no one is actually), and I am trying to get a deeper understanding into the way Latinas think. Get back there when you can, take your lumps and use your incredible capacity for analysis to fine tune your search. Anything useful you could have gotten from this board, you probably already have. Title: Re: Re: Re: Re: This might help.... Post by: OkieMan on October 01, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: Re: This might help...., posted by soltero on Oct 1, 2005
Soltero, Thanks for the kind words. By the way, whether it's real or just her perception; I was just wanting to hear what darolina would tell you. I have also invited another lady from Cali to post here; but I don't know if she will or not. Most of this stuff is either our perception or the latinas perception of whatever the issues are at the time anyway. My problems are that I am not interested in "playing games", but the advice here on this board, is that you need to. Having said that, there is no question that women in general act and react, and also think much differently than men do. Well, duh! But, having that "head" knowledge is much different than doing something about it. Still, I feel that I am not too old to learn, so I am still trying. But I also know that some of you guys who are still in your 30's are way ahead of me in this thing. I also have found out that when I am not interested in a lady ( I mean truly not interested), and I am just a friend; then I get along great with many women. (american or latina). It's when I am interested-- then I tense up and make stupid mistakes. Overall, I think I have very good people skills. I have been in sales and marketing for many years. But, when I get into that close, personal relationship thing ( or attempting to get into a relationship)-- I become too driven and I overdo it. Plus, after being married for many years, and now divorced for a few years; and being out of the dating game; yes, I am very rusty! I am not Don Juan for God's sake! I never claimed to be. So, now, I will be doing other things with my time, like studying spanish and planning my next trip. But, I don't plan on posting here for a good while. If I actually get into a relationship someday with a lady, then I will let the board know. Who knows? Time will tell. Take care. OkieMan Title: Re: This might help.... Post by: thundernco on October 01, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to This might help...., posted by teoblas on Oct 1, 2005
A very insightful and concise primer on the cultural difference and value systems that drive our respective lives. Excellent post, much better than many so called Ph.D., Psy. D.'s have posted on these boards. My hat's off to you, you're obviously a guy who "gets it". -TNC |