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Just about every issue I have seen on planet love boils down to somebody being caught in one or more of the following 13 traps.... Untangle yourselves from these traps, climb out of these self imposed boxes, and your pursuit of well-being and happiness (including well-being and happiness that comes through a sentimental relationship with a Latina or any other person) will be more productive.

THE 13 TRAPS

(Note: TBT = The Belief That)

1.  The Identity Trap
   TBT you should be someone other than yourself
        TBT others will do things the way you would
To Avoid This Trap:
Do the things that make YOU happy
Others will do things in accordance with their own identities and solutions for happiness

2.  The Intellectual and Emotional Traps
   TBT your intellect can tell you what you should feel (try to reason away your feelings)
   TBT you can make important decision based on emotions (or at peak emotional points)
To Avoid This Trap:
Recognize your emotional nature, think ahead to create situations that will trigger happiness
When your plans have produced what you want, disregard your intellect, relax and FEEL

3.  The Morality Trap
   TBT you must obey a moral code developed by someone else
To Avoid This Trap:
You are the sovereign authority who makes the final decisions after considering all relevant consequences of your acts.  (You are the person who will live with the consequences of what you do.)

4.  The Unselfishness Trap
   TBT you must put the happiness of others before your own happiness
To Avoid This Trap:
Seek gratification of your own desires.  Find relationships that are mutually beneficial (desires of the parties are compatible - transactions in which each party gets something he values more than what he gives up) so that no sacrifice is required.

5.  The Group Trap
   TBT you can accomplish more by sharing responsibilities, efforts and rewards
To Avoid This Trap:
Think in terms of direct alternatives – what can I do by myself to make things better for myself

6.  The Government Traps
   TBT governments perform socially useful functions that deserve your support
   TBT you have a duty to obey laws
   TBT the government can be counted on to carry out social reforms you favor
   TBT the government is so powerful that it can prevent you from being free
To Avoid This Trap:
Live your life as you want, don’t be influenced by blind allegiance or patriotism  
Choose your reaction to laws in terms of consequences to you, not due to any obligation
Use direct alternatives, don’t waste time and energy working through the government to be free
Take advantage of the government’s inefficiency, don’t be deterred by its apparent powers

7.  The Despair Trap
   TBT you are stuck in situation/relationship, other people can prevent you from being free
To Avoid This Trap:
The world is full of all kinds of people, you are free to find the people appropriate for you

8.  The Rights Trap
   TBT your rights (and laws upholding rights) will make you free (or)
   TBT you should let someone else pressure you by invoking his rights
To Avoid This Trap:
The consequences to you must always be the deciding standard of your actions

9.  The Utopia Trap
   TBT you must create better conditions in society before you can be free
To Avoid This Trap:
Find or move to the society that has what you want, avoid undesired conditions and situations

10.  The Burning-issues Trap
         TBT there are compelling social issues that require your participation
To Avoid This Trap:
For problems that affect you seek direct alternatives, others are free to live their life as they want

11.  The Previous Investment Trap
   TBT resources invested in the past be considered in making a decision in the present
To Avoid This Trap:
With what you have now, what is the best way to get the most in the future (learn from the past)

12.  The Box Trap
   TBT the cost of getting out of a bad situation is too great to consider
To Avoid This Trap:
Realize that any irritant can be handled for a price (via a direct alternative)

13.  The Certainty Trap
        TBT belief that your information with which you base decisions is totally certain
To Avoid This Trap:
Recognize the uncertainty of your assumptions and the risk for the future that goes with that

The above is my summary of Part 1 of the book: How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World by Harry Brown, first printing 1974.  Best book I ever read!

Teo Blas

... in response to New Guy Perspective, Food for Thought fo..., posted by teoblas on Sep 19, 2005

Ted,
Very very good.I was going to ask where you got that,then you posted it at the bottom.Another friend of mine highly recommends that book.Maybe I should buy it even if I think I already know this stuff.
In a post below I talked about the Libertain party,my reactions to them and also similar if more belated reasctions to them by Burbuja,the New Orleans attorney who used to post here.He was seriously in to them ,would attrend their conventions.
I actually voted for Harry Brown in 2000.By the time I went to the polls in California there was no contest there,so I just made a statement of principle voting for Harry Brown.
But,I wouldn't put him in charge.Too far out on  some stuff.But the line I liked from the concvention that year,in his acceptance speech,was he intended to be around a long time and was concerned about the country.He said something like,"I am only 62 years old.I could be around 20 or 30 years,who knows,maybe 40 or 50 if we get rid of the FDA."
I am a libertarian at heart.But I do not think zero income tax is wise,or more importantly that we should consider ourselves an island in the World.The world is too small now for the biggest power in it to pull a sheet over their head.We have a duty that comes with that power.And I for one think taking out the Saddam Housiens,Edi Amins and Pol Pots is a needed service to humanity.Nobody with any guts around at the time to deal with the first 2.
Ted where have you been?We knew so little about you untill now.I guess you are not a guy to blow your own horn,but go for it,you have ALOT to offer.
And this board and another one I know has been seroiusly lacking in much substance for awhile.Turned over to intertainment and bickering to a large extent.
Welcome,welcome,welcome.

Pete

Pet

... in response to Re: New Guy Perspective, Food for Though..., posted by Pete E on Sep 19, 2005

"And I for one think taking out the Saddam Housiens,Edi Amins and Pol Pots is a needed service to humanity.Nobody with any guts around at the time to deal with the first 2."

Pete,

Do you sincerely believe that???  I am not going to get deep into politics again, but don't you think the US was strong enough during the 50's, 60's, and 70's to take out anyone they wanted to?  Don't you think they did????  The assassination of Salvadore Allende of Chile in 1973 wsa a CIA backed operation.  The assassination of the first democratically elected prime mninister of the newly independent Zaire, Patrice Lumumba, was engineered by the CIA as was the later installation of Gen. Mobutu Sese Seko as president for life.  Didn't Reagan try to take out Col. Khadafi of Libya, killing one of his sons in the process?  

The US has a long history of eliminating foreign leaders who threaten US economic interests (read communist/socialist) and of supporting leaders who aid US economic interests, regardless of how brutal those leaders are to their own people.  Condi Rice just admitted that a few weeks ago.  We installed the Shah of Iran, we installed Saddam Hussein, we back the Saud family, we back the Hussein family of Jordan.  We can take out Assad of Syria.  We don't because that will lead to civil war in yet another Mid-East country.

... in response to Re: Re: New Guy Perspective, Food for Th..., posted by Brazilophile on Sep 19, 2005

Yes,we were strong enough.We could have  taken out a Pol Pot,who killer several Million people I think it was in about 2 years VERY Easy.Idi Amin would have been a piece of cake.Both guys wouldn't have been 2 % of the Iraq effort.
BUT,as you allude to,we were doing somthing quiet different,assisting taking out someone like Allende,not because he was a mass murderer,but because we did not like his polotics.We helped install a mass murderer,Pinochet.
When I say a service to humanity I mean somebody who is trully awfull.Not something to be done litely.There is nobody else in power of that ilk now,the little idiot in North Korea does not rise to that level of Malicious intent.The 3  guys I mentioned do.Only Saddam got taken out.I think that was worth doing for a number of reasons,each sufficient to warrent it.
Amazing I just watched a video of Bill Clinton Talking about Iraq on AOL.He basically said nothing,but showed me again that he is the type of guy who would have done nothing.Saddam invaded Kuwait.He torched the Oil wells on the way out.He thumbed his nose at the UN and Clinton for years.No doubt he was ready to try and take over the middle east any time anyone would let him.But more than that,he was a guy who if you spoke out against him his goons cut your tongue out,literally.We did the right thing.Its not easy.Doing the right thing usually is not.
Bush,for all his flaws,has the guts to act.Something that has pretty much been sorely missing for many many year.
People need to remember well Saddam Housein when they start to loose their guts,resolve and direction on Iraq
I was a NOBLE thing to do.Worthy of a great country.We are lucky to have some young people who are willing to DIE for a Noble cause,for their fellow man.Not that they want to die,like the guys they are fighting.
One other little thing we failed to do,although there was not an individual madman reszponsible.Clinton sat on his hands,more than that asctually urged European nations not to get involved,when 700,000 thousand people were butchered with matchetes in Rwanda.1000 marines could have stopped that,we might not have lost a single soldier in the effort.I hate racial comparisons,but I ABSOLUTELY BELIEVE  we would not have allowed 700,000 white people in Europe for instance to be slaughtered.These were Africans,expendable people in a place not considered sufficiently valuable to get involved in.If BILL CLINTON WOULD HAVE BEEN WILLING TO STICK OUT HIS NECK OUT AS FAR AS HIS DICK HE COULD HAVE EASILY SAVED 700,000 HUMAN BEING FROM SLAUGHTER.
That is not leadership,but cowardly.The only risks he was willing to take were in his personal life.He got more flack over a blow job than he would have had to face saving those people.
A great country neads a great leader.Bush might not be that,but it is not for lack of sincerly tryin to be.He does not have to put his finger in the wind to determine his opinion,like the gutless wonder who proceeded him.
My political rant for today.How did we get their from chicas?Oh yeah,Teds post about Harry Brown got me going political.
One more little outrageous thing,no new post,re FEMA.

Pete

... in response to Re: Re: Re: New Guy Perspective, Food fo..., posted by Pete E on Sep 19, 2005

I didn't bother to fully read either of the last two posts because I am not interested in wasting my time or getting trapped in that burining issue box.... I am too busy enjoying my life.

If anyone of us was an outstanding authority on this or any other burning issue or any of us were truly entertaining we would be getting paid big bucks as a consultant by somebody or their competition.....

Who knows which one of you is right?  Who cares?  I know who knows and who cares, the people on the Planet-Political bulliten board.....

I thought this was supposed to be a site dedicated to helping/advising guys connect and/or maintain a relationship with latinas??? (i.e. I need this help/advice, I have this help/advice)

However, it appears it has become a site mostly about the guys (their lives, their friendships, and their issues) that want to connect with latinas... That is cool, lets just change the name to Planet-Gringo (i.e. this is my life, where is my buddy, remember when we did this in LA, everybody pay attention to my hang up for a minute, etc, etc...)

 

... in response to You guys are getting stuck in Trap #10, posted by teoblas on Sep 20, 2005

"I thought this was supposed to be a site dedicated to helping/advising guys connect and/or maintain a relationship with latinas???"

Simple solution:  Post topics that you want to discuss and ignore everything else.  No one has or will stick with the strict guidelines you advocate.

... in response to You guys are getting stuck in Trap #10, posted by teoblas on Sep 20, 2005

But if your time is so precious that you can’t waste it reading the post, how do you find time to comment? I thought you were too busy enjoying your life :-)

Don’t you think it seems a tad arrogant for new guy to come on board and immediately start lecturing other members on what this forum is all about? Pete has been around here for a very long time and if he wants to express an opinion that you aren’t interested in, why not just skip over it and save the lecturing. You seem to think it’s O.K. to promote your business here but then you chastise others for expressing a personal opinion. Huh?

Why don’t you lighten up and enjoy the forum as it is instead of trying to make it all about YOU and what YOU want?

Peace,

Ray

... in response to Excuse me Teo..., posted by Ray on Sep 20, 2005

You got me and you win a prize!  The prize is that you can feel free not to read any of my future posts...

This is your neighborhood so I should follow the rules while I am visiting, right?

I only have one point of confusion regarding what you have to say, and that is just like there are no rules in a knife fight how can there be any rules in a bulliten board open to stream of consciousness chatter? :-/

Most of my reading on Planet-Love was done while I visited the US on other business and was otherwise bored out of my mind.  I got a lot of information from the board and many times I only read Pete's and a few other individuals posts for all the jewels of info they provided.

I obtained a lot of info from this site and my half dozen posts have been my feeble attempt to give something back.
The timing of my posting coincides with my new cable connection and my insomnia.

My comments at the begining of this thread were intended to be constructive, and to summarize and add my two cents worth to what I thought others (who I thought had a lot to offer) said as they temporarially or permanently signed off from Planet-Love.  

Double Peace
Teo

... in response to Your right.  You win.  Should I leave no..., posted by teoblas on Sep 20, 2005

Did someone tell you to leave? I must have missed that part :-)

Sorry Teo, there are no “prizes” on this forum. Just a bunch of guys and a few gals expressing their opinions and sharing their experiences. My opinions are no better than yours or Pete’s or Brazilophile’s or anyone else’s here.

Like any Web forum, this forum has it’s own culture. Some like it as it is and some don’t. You’re free to take it or leave it. Just because you don’t like something you read here, you don’t have to insult us all by pretending that you’re better than the rest of us. We have a good moderator already and I don’t think we need another one.

You asked “…how can there be any rules in a bulliten board open to stream of consciousness chatter?  I’m not sure exactly what you’re asking Teo. This is not MY neighborhood. I don’t make the rules here, the owner does. They are posted under the “Forum FAQ” section. Maybe some of us sometimes get a little bit off topic but why are you so hyper about it? You didn’t pay to participate here…it’s free! You’re bending the rules a little also by promoting your Web site and your business on the forum, but no one is lecturing you on that little indiscretion, are they? So why not live and let live, and get what you can out of this forum without all the condescending lecturing? Perhaps you’re caught in your own Trap #9?

Of course you’re free to offer your opinions, and you can insult us all you like, but please don’t whine if you get a negative response, O.K.? Thanks.

Now that’s just my opinion.

Have a nice day :-)

Ray

... in response to You guys are getting stuck in Trap #10, posted by teoblas on Sep 20, 2005

Yup,
"For problems that affect you seek direct alternatives, others are free to live their life as they want"
Seems Harry is saying just look out for number one.F--k everybody else.
Then WHY  did HE run for president?
Seems Harry,who sounds good in general,can't even follow his own advice.
But,your point is well taken,it has little to do with latinas,we somehow did a tangent from latinas to where we would up.
I will admit I find I like expressing myself.Some other guy sometimes are interested,or I might be interested in their opinions.If we stuck strickly to the subject not much might get said here,as I told you we have been lacking in subsytance for along time.
And of course,there is the option you exercised,don't read it.
At least it wasn't a flame war,thats the worst use of space here.
And maybe it was filling a void,which should be filled with relevant posts,so we are waiting for some.

Pete