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Dude, you need a better lawyer.

First of all, you can't divorce her for abandonment unles she has been gone a specific amount of time that varies from state to state. Or you have to have court proof that she does not intend to ever return. And dude, that means documents and letters and stuff like that. Not "Mey-Mey her cousin said that she heard her uncle say that Ayesa said she's never coming back." You'll never get Mey-Mey over here or get a certified deposition out of her and hearsay won't work anyhow. If her family states that she has just disappeared, you may have to wait longer to have her declared missing or dead.

Have you filed a missing persons report with the Philippine authorities or the US embassy? Probably a waste of time I know but it may help to prove you have tried dilligently to find your wife that is lost in a third world country.

Right now what do you have? She went to see her poor sick papa who had to have a leg amputated which you most generously went into debt for and saved his life. She has no motive to leave you as her father may very well need further assistance from a "rich" American husband. She has not used the prepaid airline ticket to come home to you. Her parents deny they have seen her recently. The last time you two communicated directly she said she'd be home shortly (two weeks wasn't it?). You have no hard proof that she is abandoning you. You have heard rumors and triple hearsay from other relatives. If she were a green card hunter she would divorce you in the USA and get support money through the courts (and there are plenty of feminazi groups willing to help her along for spite). You may well be asked by the court if you have checked the hospitals in Manila and her home area. The police in both areas. The US embassy. When was the last time you saw her, spoke to her? What were her EXACT words? How long was it before you cancelled the airline ticket for her to come home on? Did she leave angry with you or vice-versa? Why would she disappear when her father may very well need more assistance? When was the last time you sent her money in the RP? How much? What for? Why did you stop? Why are you trying to divorce her now?

My mom left my dad and ran away to Phoenix (we finally found out) with another man she'd met and had carried on a secret affair. At the time she left we had no idea where she was. She had gone to California to visit a relative and just vanished when she was supposed to come home. Her secret boyfriend drove to LA and picked her up. Her and dad had a fight on the phone about her staying longer and how they couldn't afford it and he wouldn't send her any more living money and to come home that weekend. All the questions I posed to you were asked of dad TWO YEARS after she disappeared and the security cameras had seen her get into the car with the other man. There was the trouble of the attempt to serve papers. There had to be notices placed in all sorts of newspapers in our home and in LA where she was last seen. The police in both states had to be notified of course and the hospitals checked for her or for women matching her that were unconscious. And dad lived in Ann Arbor. And believe it or not, if she ever does show up she can STILL go to court and claim her share of the communal property.

It may not be as easy to divorce her as you think. Then you have the additional burden of proof to the US government. She may attempt re-entry and make claim on your affadavit of support. And the same feminazis that would have helped her before, for spite, will do it again. For spite and to set an example for other men who dare choose a foreign bride. And God help you if she was pregnant and didn't know it even herself when she left.

You need a better lawyer. Or a legal opinion of a lawyer specializing in divorce and especially a side consult from an immigration lawyer. Any way, it will be expensive.

... in response to Howard, a lesson in abandonment divorce, posted by Jacke on Nov 20, 2001

Jacke,

Some interesting thoughts. I was curious which state you were referring to where you have to provide proof of abandonment.

Here in California, we have “no fault divorce” which basically means that either party can get a divorce for the asking. You don’t really need a good reason or have to prove anything in court. For a reason, they usually just use the standard legal catchall term “irreconcilable differences”. The other partner doesn’t have much say in it from a practical standpoint. The result of the law, in my opinion, has made it so easy to get a divorce that too many people just file on a whim when they are pissed off about anything. There’s really no incentive to work things out anymore and the attorneys even use the law to prevent you from talking things out.

I'm sure our resident lawyer will correct me if I got it wrong :-)

Ray

... in response to Interesting..., posted by Ray on Nov 20, 2001

Sorry, I forget that not everyone knows Ann Arbor is in Michigan, same state as Detroit.

As for the other, the spouse still has to be notified, No? Ever try to get a divorce in California without the other spouse being notified by certified documents? Women's rights groups will be all over that like a pack of dogs on a three-legged cat. In ANY court action, the defendant has to be notified (or at least the action must be widely published, as in newspapers and such, and her last known addresses must be sent documents, etc., process of serving they call it here). And later, if she does show up, she can STILL contest the divorce if she was not notified, especially the fiduciary settlement. If he/she files in California, there are still those pesky communal property laws to deal with. Quite expensive. Even "quickie" divorces in Nevada require notification of the other spouse, or real attempts at notification. In cases where one spouse is "missing" it is a lot different from where they can be notified of the action. A "no-fault" divorce may be easy to get, and she may not be able to stop it, but she MUST be notified (or give it one helluva try) and have the opportunity to have her side heard, especially in the division of the assets. Equal protection under the law, the 14th amendment and all that.

As Tim said in his replies, she can get back in regardless. When she does, she can get a divorce. The question is how much will it cost the already cash-strapped Howard? Remember that affadavit of support? Ten years worth, isn't it?

Getting a divorce form an unwilling as opposed to a "missing" spouse is quite different. The latter takes longer.

... in response to Howard, a lesson in abandonment divorce, posted by Jacke on Nov 20, 2001

Just get the divorce.....forget the what if's. She isn't going to cause you any trouble.