WEDDING RECPTION

[JEMJCU1]

My Latina and I are going to have a blessing of the rings in Bogota sometime late this year possible early Jan 2006. As far as the reception goes how should the payment for the reception go. She comes from a very very modest family. I am not sure what their abilities are, but I feel they should contribute at some level. While I would not expect them to be able to afford the entire recpetion, I do not want to give the impression since I am a gringo I am rich so I should pay. I have never been given any red flags from her parents I just am aware if you can afford to fly to Colombia then you must be rich. I would like a sampling of opions on this matter, it is the principle. I also made sure when she inquires at hotels that she not mention that she is marrying a gringo, I am sure my price would be different.

[Pete E]

... in response to WEDDING  RECPTION, posted by JEMJCU1 on Feb 28, 2005

I would just pay for it.The important thing is not how much they can contribute,because it will be small at best,but to make smart choices about the costs.I can't remember if mine was $1500 or 1,500,000 pesos.Lets see I think it was like$10 a head,60 people,that would be like $600.But then the hall was seperate like $200 I think.Not alot of money.
If she wants a $12,000 wedding like one girl I knew,plus lots of money to support her family,look out.My friend did.Finally opened his eyes.He dumped her.
But I would not shame them in to anything.Money is very precious to a very very modest family,so be big about it.You can afford it way better then they can.
I would say unless the family is upper middle class or above,expect nothing towards the wedding.
Its not the US here.Forget those customs.

Pete

[Kiltboy1]

... in response to WEDDING  RECPTION, posted by JEMJCU1 on Feb 28, 2005

I had a wedding reception for 50 people in Cali in 2002, all food, drink, music, wedding video, photo book, honeymoon suite, limo driver and flowers and tux rental for 1300 bucks.

If you can afford to go to LA and marry a Latina, i think you could swing 1300 bucks or so for a nice reception. Modest in colombia is lower middleclass if that here. Let thye family spend the mony on gifts for you both, that is where the latin culture will shine through
KB

[utopiacowboy]

... in response to Re: WEDDING  RECPTION, posted by Kiltboy1 on Mar 1, 2005

I did pretty much the same thing in 2003 in Medellin. I highly recommend it - you can have a helluva wedding for a fraction of what you'd pay here plus her family and friends can attend.

[Hoda]

... in response to Re: WEDDING  RECPTION, posted by Kiltboy1 on Mar 1, 2005

My wife's family isn't rich to say the lease. But everyone who attended the reception brought a gift with them. My wife paid for the buses that brought family members to our reception :-) One of the best things that I have been blessed with, during my trips & interactions with her family....is that they gave & shared whatever they had, with me! I know some so-called rich folks, who wouldn't give up a glass of water unless they saw you foaming at the mouth...lol

For all their faults....When the Latin Culture shines on you, it is a wonderful feeling...No Doubt!

[Michael B]

... in response to WEDDING  RECPTION, posted by JEMJCU1 on Feb 28, 2005

OK, this is just my opinon, and I'm not Emmily Post nor Ann Landers and I'm by no means trying to put you down or anything like that....A delicate situation for sure. How good is your Spanish? I'd talk it over with the lady and then with her dad (if, after talking with her, she feels it is necessary and/or desireable). I definetly agree with you about don't pay the gringo tax, no matter which of you winds up paying how much of a share. The delicate part of the problem is that I suspect you earn 10 to 20 times as much as her father does (hey, you're the one who said 'very very modest'). Now, let's say that he has some younger children still in the house and you (just guessing) don't have any child support or other such baggage. Now, you have to tread a fine line. You obviously don't want him to get off 'Scott Free', but please don't put him in a position where he is either shamed by what he can't afford or borrows and/or makes the rest of the family do without to 'show that gringo we aint cheap'.....I would have a 'decent' but not 'extravigant' wedding (I realize that these terms are open to intrepretation, based on each of our personal circumstances and experiences) and let him pay as much as he's comfortable with. Just an honest opinon, that's what you asked for, right?

[larrydarrell]

... in response to WEDDING  RECPTION, posted by JEMJCU1 on Feb 28, 2005

By the sound of it, you want her family to go without food and health care and other essentials for some period of time so that they can come up with a few hundred dollars so that a handful of people who you will be seeing only very rarely in the future won't think you are much richer than they are (which you are).

[Michael B]

... in response to Re: WEDDING  RECPTION, posted by larrydarrell on Feb 28, 2005

I really don't think he meant it that way. I think he meant it along the lines of simply NOT having 'the biggest party this town has ever seen, because, after all, the gringo is paying'. I think he's trying to do the right thing.

[jediknight]

... in response to Re: WEDDING  RECPTION, posted by larrydarrell on Feb 28, 2005

excellent point. when i was in colombia in jan, my girlfriends cousin had gotten married in dec and was showing me the wedding album. her cousin and her now husband are not poor,i dont know how much they spent on the wedding/reception but i will tell you that the bride complained about how much money was wasted on people she almost never sees, she would have rather saved a bit of the money spent to get furniture or other essential things a newlywed couple will need. don't let the guest list get out of hand, only essential people should be invited.

[doombug]

... in response to WEDDING  RECPTION, posted by JEMJCU1 on Feb 28, 2005

I paid for everything.  My wife's family is poor, so no conversation ever took place about sharing the cost.

[Nikkyo]

... in response to WEDDING  RECPTION, posted by JEMJCU1 on Feb 28, 2005

My fiance and I are also planning a religious ceremony in Medellin in December 2005.  The total cost for a very, very nice wedding including renting the reception hall, food, etc, is at a maximum $5,000.00 US dollars.  Rember this is for a very nice wedding you can have a wedding for around $2,000 to $3,000 or less but I wanted to make it very special for my fiance so I said plan what you really want.  She is an accoutant and is very cost conscious so I do not think it will even be $5,000.
If your fiance comes from a modest family then I would not expect too much.  From my understanding the Latin culture is different from the US culture, the brides family expects for you to pay since you are getting the best part of the deal.........their daughter :-)  I have dated a few Latin women, especially living here in Houston so I understand thier viewpoint.
IMHO, why not give her a nice reception maybe have an understanding with her and her family that you are not a rich guy but why not spend several thousand to give her that special day, I am sure she is worth it.

Regards,
Nikkyo

[Hoda]

... in response to Re: WEDDING  RECPTION, posted by Nikkyo on Feb 28, 2005


with Nikkyo...You can have a wonderful, memory filled wedding & reception in Colombia at a fraction of the cost of what you would pay here. Be honest & tell her your cost limitations. Have her shop around but under no circumstances is she to mention that her husband to be is a GRINGO!!! The cost parameters that Nikkyo has mentioned are right on target...

[valuedcustomer]

... in response to Re: WEDDING  RECPTION, posted by Nikkyo on Feb 28, 2005


I am having a simple wedding at a friends house in Houston.. so far the cost is less than $1000.

[Fuzzyone]

... in response to WEDDING  RECPTION, posted by JEMJCU1 on Feb 28, 2005

My father in law gave some money that helped about 1,000,000. pesos the rest
I paid for.  I was pretty much ready to pay all if I had to, I really wanted my wife
to be happy on this day. Think about this how much would a wedding of the
same size cost here in the United States? How much would you have to pay? Now
how much will the wedding cost there in Colombia? Do what you want but if the
family does not have alot of money there is ways to cut the price of the
reception.