Deception/Lies.. and who else was in on it?

[jediknight]

I think that this question maybe of interest to many so I'm posting it here so that it won't get pushed down and perhaps lost in the responses to my post about surprising your girlfriend.

A few of you have graciously posted that you have been lied to and deceived but what I would like to know is... during the relationship, when the deception was occurring, were your girlfriends living at home or were they independent? did you meet many or a few family members and do you think they were all in on the lies or were they also fooled?

I'm curious to know how far someone might be willing to lie to land a gringo, far enough to include other family members? maybe even the parents? some have posted about their girlfriends hiding children, passing them off as brothers or sisters, or just hiding them entirely but  wouldn't that be difficult if you met the parents, uncles, aunts, friends etc.. they would have to be in on the scam wouldn't they? how about hiding other boyfriends?

[utopiacowboy]

... in response to Deception/Lies.. and who else was in on ..., posted by jediknight on Feb 7, 2005

You're right. It's tough to have a lie hold up the more people that you need to support it. And Kented is right - you typically won't find this in Colombia. I knew that my wife was honest and above board when I could see her nieces and nephews and sisters and their husbands in the web cam. They would take turns typing things to me. I was suspicious and looking for things that did not ring true or evidence that would contradict what she was telling me. I never found any as hard as I looked. Of course now I know that she is as honest as the day is long.

[jediknight]

... in response to Re: Deception/Lies.. and who else was in..., posted by utopiacowboy on Feb 8, 2005

you're right cowboy, the number one thing above all that was important to me was to feel that my girfriend was being open and honest and having met the entire family(over 50 members and counting) they all told me things about my girlfriend that i already knew, she's beautiful outside as she is inside, very open and honest, traits that generally speaking seem to be more prevalent in costeños than cachacos, costeños will tell you the same.

[Looking4Wife]

... in response to Re: Re: Deception/Lies.. and who else wa..., posted by jediknight on Feb 8, 2005

costeños = ?

cachacos = ?

[jediknight]

... in response to Please define for newbie..., posted by Looking4Wife on Feb 9, 2005

[This message has been edited by jediknight]

costeños= people from the coast, cartagena, barranquilla,santa marta

cachacos= people from the interior of colombia, usually from bogota but not exclusively

the differences and stereotypes between the two are generally that:

costeños are more open, friendly, honest, warm but also lazy, like to drink allot,party and are not as educated

cachacos are cold, introverted, stuck up, not truthful, two faced, elitist, higher class, educated

these are of course stereotypes, not every cachaco or costeño are like that.there was a soap opera called la costeña y el cachaco, very funny but showed that within colombia there are differences between people from the coast and the interior

[utopiacowboy]

... in response to Re: Re: Deception/Lies.. and who else wa..., posted by jediknight on Feb 8, 2005

Sounds like you've found a jewel, dude!

[kented]

... in response to Deception/Lies.. and who else was in on ..., posted by jediknight on Feb 7, 2005

Lies and deception are not the same thing.  If a woman has children she doesn't mention or keeps her boyfriend which you make plans for a visa, she is a liar.

Many women don't lie, they just consider their future in the US more important than love and are willing to trade affection for security.  This type of deception is far more prevalent and difficult to detect.  Relationships are hard when both aprties want them to work.

The surprise should be great but I doubt if you will gain any insight even if she is an outright liar.  If you speak Spanish, and can talk to her family, lies shoudl be obvious.  I found Colombians to be warm and transparent (their sincerity or insincerity was obvious).

If you're worried about her hiding a boyfriend, hire a Colombian PI.

[Heat]

... in response to Re: Deception/Lies.. and who else was in..., posted by kented on Feb 7, 2005

The surprise should be great but I doubt if you will gain any insight even if she is an outright liar. If you speak Spanish, and can talk to her family, lies shoudl be obvious. I found Colombians to be warm and transparent (their sincerity or insincerity was obvious).""

Words to live by.  Great post!

[WS244]

... in response to Deception/Lies.. and who else was in on ..., posted by jediknight on Feb 7, 2005

Since your bio says nothing of your person, your different posts suggest you might be a different person than what your bio does not say.
ws

[jediknight]

... in response to Re: Deception/Lies.. and who else was in..., posted by WS244 on Feb 7, 2005

[This message has been edited by jediknight]

yoda is that you? what did you say??? : )

[Pacino]

... in response to Deception/Lies.. and who else was in on ..., posted by jediknight on Feb 7, 2005

I think you really need time to get to know the person you intend to spend the rest of your life with.  There are many good women in Colombia but there are also many bad ones, who will have family members lie if it benefits them. So just be careful and know your women.  I was reading in another thread about surprise visits, not a bad idea considering what a gringo invests in time, money, and emotions...While the truth might hurt it's better to know before you bring her to the states....  

Pacino

[OkieMan]

... in response to Deception/Lies.. and who else was in on ..., posted by jediknight on Feb 7, 2005

I second that request.  Also, when and if you do post your story, may I also request that you include the lady's age?  I think that it is more likely for a twenty something hottie to try this crap then a lady with a little more age and maturity.  But, I am sure there could be many stories of women of all ages that have pulled this type of thing. I know that it has been said by others on this board that the more desperate, or supposedly desperate the ladies' situation, the more likely this type of thing will occur.  
By the way, I think that it is funny how so many people have put new meanings to the use of "desperate", now that the TV show "Desperate Housewives" has been on the air.  That latina on the show is hot, but Terri Hatcher and Nicolette Sheridan are both hot too.  But, let's face it; that show has nothing to do with reality; and I  would never want to be married to any one of those lying, conniving, bitchy women!  But, it is a hoot to watch.
 
                               OkieMan

[utopiacowboy]

... in response to Re: Deception/Lies.. and who else was in..., posted by OkieMan on Feb 7, 2005

I used to work with Eva Longoria's sister. She was in her home town of Corpus Christi recently and partied with one of my coworkers. A very good looking woman.