Agency Hype vs Facts

[OkieMan]

I am about to start a discussion that has already been asked before, in some form.  But, having said that, I would really appreciate some of the more experienced poster's help.  I would especially like someone like Margareth or Jamie, or anyone else that has some agency experience to answer.  Anyway, this deals with the information that we as gringo's see on websites.  Whether we are  customers and potential customers, we all know that there is some information that is put in the girl's bios that sometimes seem to sound the same-- like maybe the agency wrote it for the girls.  For want of a better term, it seems to be a "standard line".  So, in effect, we don't know until we pay our money and write to the girl, or see her in person, if it is true or not.  I have even noticed that sometimes, if a girl is listed on more than one sight, her info may not be the same.  So, one of my questions is, is this a common practice from agencies?  Also, I am wondering how frequent it is that the girls themselves falsify some information?  I know that there has been some "horror stories" that have appeared on this message board.  Things like agencies and girls that try to scam us, etc.  So, I know it exists.  I am mostly curious about how prevelent it is?  One the other hand, I know that there are good honest people that are trying to do the right thing.  I know this type of discussion can "open a can of worms", but I am looking for prevelent trends, not the occasional situation.
I also have a somewhat related question.  Some sites are more prone than others to do what I am about to talk about.  The girls talk in their profile about how they want to meet the right man, or they are tired of the latin men and their macho behavior, etc.  They say that they are looking for a serious relationship, blah, blah, blah.  So, basically, she is marketing herself as serious marriage material; good moral values, etc.  Then when you view her picture or pictures, she is dressed and posed in some very sexy, skimpy outfits that look more like a hooker or playboy centerfold.  I will be the first to admit that many of them are down right gorgeous.  I mean, who wouldn't want to go out with her - even though she is half my age!  As we have discussed here, LatinEuro is one of the main websites where this occurs.  Those Brazilian girls are smokin hot, but are they for real?  I don't know.  So, you guys weigh in.  It's been slow on the board for a while.  Maybe this will get some attention.  Later.

                                       OkieMan  

P.S. All this stems from the fact that I hate to be lied to, or manipulated.

[Calipro]

... in response to Agency Hype vs Facts , posted by OkieMan on Feb 11, 2005

First of all don't read the profiles. You must think these women are americans. If an american woman filled out a profile stating she wanted to meet men 25 - 35, she would be pissed if she was introduced to a 40 year old guy. It would be criteria that had to be met. Colombiana profiles are wish lists that may or may not come true. Everything is flexable. If she really digs you who cares if you are 40. Of course there are some that say they want to meet a guy under 35 and they mean it. I would say from my experiance about one in ten mean what they put in their profiles.

"The girls talk in their profile about how they want to meet the right man, or they are tired of the latin men and their macho behavior, etc. They say that they are looking for a serious relationship, blah, blah, blah."

Let me translate that for you. When a colombiana wants to get married she is not only looking for someone she is attracted to but someone that can take care of her (literally). You know a house, car and money to buy the kids clothes. There are a shortage to these types of guys in Colombia so some women are more than  happy to marry an american. Well some of them have to marry an american. They already have kids and there are very few colombainos (with cash) in Colombia that would marry a woman with someone else's kids. They like to leave that dirty work for the americans that visit.  

Okieman I don't know you but I hope you have realized that all women lie. The only question is are they lying to you.

Don't worry about being manipulated. It won't happen unless you let it. You are about one hundred times smarter than they are. You were blessed to have been brought up in a culture that imbraced deductive reasoning and colombianos have been cursed by being brought up in a culture of inductive reasoning. They can't tell a good lie to save their lives. You really, really have to want to believe them to ever be fooled completely by one.

Never ever buy a colombiana anything unless she is your girlfriend. That is rule number one! And she is not your girlfriend unless the two of you are in an intimate relationship.

Next after the two of you have been getting it on for a while you are probably going to want to take care of her a little bit (by buying her some more sexy clothes or something). Don't go crazy!!! I hate to be the bearer of bad news but not all relationships last forever and I don't want to have to listen to you complain on the board how you got taken because you spent your life savings on a woman and then she split. YOU ARE IN CONTROLL !!! You decided how much she is worth. You decide how much to spend NOT her! Repete after me: "I'm the man! What I say goes!! hehehe !!

[OkieMan]

... in response to Re:  Agency Hype vs Facts , posted by Calipro on Feb 12, 2005

Calipro,
 
 Very good advice.  I am working on all of that, as we speak.  I especially liked the deductive vs inductive reasoning part.  Believe it or not, I am not a suspicious or jealous natured man, as a whole.  But, I am also not stupid, and I don't want to get burnt again.  If a woman tells me something, a big part of me wants to believe her.  But, if I start to get that itch in the back of my neck... you get the point.  Right now, I am corresponding with a nice lady in Cali.  So, I won't know the real deal until I actually meet her in person. One thing is on our side (I think), and that is that she is 35, not 25.  She is more mature and has more life experiences.  But, I am still asking her a lot of questions in our emails, and I will continue that when we meet.  But, it's a whole lot easier now, since I am not sitting next to her.  I am afraid that when I start staring into those beautiful brown eyes, I will turn to mush, and start to drool.  That's a heck of thing to happen to a guy over 50.  I haven't acted that stupid since I was a teenager!  So, I am trying to be cautious.  Thanks again for your insight.  By the way, do you have any more good pictures on picture trail that we can see?

                         OkieMan

[wizard]

... in response to Re:  Agency Hype vs Facts , posted by Calipro on Feb 12, 2005

"You were blessed to have been brought up in a culture that imbraced deductive reasoning and colombianos have been cursed by being brought up in a culture of inductive reasoning."

Experience garnered from the path well traveled...

This characteristic of cross-cultural relationships is maddening at times... The only thing you get from attempting to reason with some Colombianos is frustrated...

[kented]

... in response to Re: Re:  Agency Hype vs Facts , posted by wizard on Feb 12, 2005

Absolutely.  I don't try and reason with my wife because it is a waste of time.  Inductive versus deductive reasoning is a very profound observation.

[OkieMan]

... in response to Re: Re:  Agency Hype vs Facts , posted by wizard on Feb 12, 2005

Geez, I always wanted to talk to the Wizard of Oz.  Sometimes, I think that I am the Scarecrow!  So, enlighten me(give examples), oh Great Wizard.  By the way, do you have a spare crystal ball?  It sure could come in handy at times.  I don't think I would look very good in the ruby slippers!

                            OkieMan

[wizard]

... in response to Re: Re: Re:  Agency Hype vs Facts , posted by OkieMan on Feb 12, 2005

I think Calipro made a very succinct comment... Pretty much says it all...

Examples, well sorry, the Tin man and Toto stole the crystal ball and left Kansas... The Tin man was overheard mumbling something about a Papaya...

The closest I can come to explaining this is that you and I were raised in a society where logic, reason and pragmatism are the rules of the day... Colombianos are not...

Don't over-analyze... The only way to understand is to spend time in their culture... Then and only then will you begin to understand the meaning of these comments...

If none of this makes sense to you, well, after all, it was just a dream...

[OkieMan]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re:  Agency Hype vs Facts , posted by wizard on Feb 12, 2005

So, this would be one more example of: "Your not in Kansas  anymore"; or in my case, Oklahoma - close enough.
Well, I do plan on spending more time in LA, and for now, primarly Colombia.  Time will tell, but it helps to hear from all of you who have more experience.

                           OkieMan

[Seeker]

... in response to Agency Hype vs Facts , posted by OkieMan on Feb 11, 2005

Okieman,
I remember a girl that I met at LE telling me she didn't know how to swim, but going back to her profile I confirmed that one of her listed hobbies was swimming. To be honest, I didn't care. Go figure... Then there was the woman at CSH that "didn't drink" and we drank a bottle of rum between the two of us, then she kept ordering tequila shots to "celebrate my heritage..."

I don't worry much about the profile at an agency. They're great to know the basics like age, children, education, smoker, etc. However, I wouldn't make a decision based on the answers given on the rest of the questions. Make your decision to meet a woman independently of the answers given on the profile, except for basic physical information. I would always hand my list over to Margareth and then tell her to eliminate the pretentious and high maintenance women. She would, usually about 20% of the girls I had chosen.  I think most will be honest about whether they have children or not, and their age. If they lie on these, then it would tarnish my opinion of them.

Regarding LatinEuro, I met a few women from this agency. If you go to Rio, for example, you'll understand after spending a day at Copacabana Beach that perceptions about decency, nudity, degree of exposure is very relative. I remember seeing a pregnant woman, perhaps in her third trimester, in a thong at the beach. I think this would rarely happen in the U.S. I think these woman are for real and judgments need to be made within the context of the Brazilian culture, or Carioca culture for that matter.

My focus for the last couple of months has been match.com international. In this setting, profiles are very relevant; I pay close attention to them and use them extensively in getting to know the women better. I now have a 3-ring binder to organize the profiles of women I've met in alphabetical order. I've spoken to several of them over the phone and have discussed meeting them in person in May. The greatest part is meeting their family members over the cam, sharing photos, etc.

[OkieMan]

... in response to Re:  Agency Hype vs Facts , posted by Seeker on Feb 12, 2005

Seeker,
Great post. I enjoyed your insightful thoughts.  As far as the women, nudity, decency, etc.;  of course, we all take our own culture and background with us.  But, even though I am extremely physically attracted to latin women; I am trying to meet and spend time with ladies that would have a better chance of making the transition to american life and marriage with me.  To use your Rio example, those women are so sexy it makes your teeth hurt ( and something else too, ha).  But, I can't imagine bringing a lady like some of those that you and I described, and introducing them to my family and friends.  I am looking for a woman who is at least a little more conservative than that.  Plus, also it is probably my own american thought processes; but I would worry about marrying one of those hotties, like we described.  Then having every guy in 14 counties trying to get in her pants! It would be just my luck that she would want some of those men in her pants!  We have many mexican people here, but nothing like those Brazilian Bombshells!  But, that's is not to say, that I want a plain jane either.  Right now, I am corresponding with a nice lady in Cali.  To me, she is beautiful but not as overtly sexual as some of the other women we discussed. Also, we have been talking about many isues, in our emails.  She and I seem to have many common interests, etc.  So, for now, I will continue to pursue her.  If something works out, then great.  If not, then I will be back at the old drawing board.  Thanks again.

                              OkieMan

[Seeker]

... in response to Re: Re:  Agency Hype vs Facts , posted by OkieMan on Feb 12, 2005

OkieMan,
I totally understand where you are coming from. I too think about these same issues. Besides, I would like her to attend the local community college to learn English. Your average Colombian woman will blow away many of her aveage American counterparts. She'll have hundreds of guys staring and hitting on her. After a certain point, physical beauty can become a liability.  

One more point, I hope you don't take it as criticism, but rather as friendly advice. My biggest mistake has been to focus on one or two women when I go to Colombia. If you haven't already, I would suggest you begin to develop a few other relationships with women from Cali. Thinking about a few women at once is healthy for the ego and it helps me make better decisions about the different relationships. If anything it helps to contrast one from the other and think about the type of woman you're most comfortable with.

My #1 woman is a divorced, 24 year-old from Medellin who has a daughter. I just spoke to her on the phone for about 30 minutes. I think she is perfect for me. Even though it would be a lot easier for me to forget the rest and focus soley on her, I know it is a bad idea. Therefore, I currently chat with four other women and write many more.

[OkieMan]

... in response to Re: Re: Re:  Agency Hype vs Facts , posted by Seeker on Feb 12, 2005

Excellent comments.  To answer your question about checking out several ladies.  I agree.  Over the last two years, I have met and corresponded with several women. I realize that it is a process.  Even though I am focused on one lady at the moment, I will have to see how it all plays out when I am down there.  If it does, then I am ahead of the game.  If not, then it's back to the drawing board.  I must say, that I envy the guys who have already met and married their "special" lady.  Since I have been married before, I understand the part about when "the new wears off"/honeymoon, etc.  I am not the type of guy who has to constantly be "entertained".  The simple pleasures of building a new family, living, working, etc.; that is all very important.  However, one of my concerns is what will the latina think of everyday life here in the US?  To me, we are vanilla, they are like rainbow sherbet, or something!

                        OkieMan

[pablo]

... in response to Agency Hype vs Facts , posted by OkieMan on Feb 11, 2005

OM,

I had the unfortunate experience of dealing with a very dishonest agency (ARR) although it was in Russia before I became interested in LA.  I have used three Latin agencies that were all considered "honest" but soon became aware of certain dubious practices that all were guilty of in differing degrees.  I would not trust any agency completely as they are all out there to make money rather than playing internet cupidos.

You mentioned LatinEuro and about their "smokin hot" women they have posted.  "Lourdes" (I doubt if she even exists) knows that the more provocative photos sell and that's why they like them.  Much has been said about this agency but in my opinion they are not honest.  Bueller has used them in the past and gave them a big thumbs down on honesty and customer service.  Do an archive search if you are contemplating using this agency.  A better Brasilian agency is LatinSocialNetworks.

Pablo

[OkieMan]

... in response to Re:  Agency Hype vs Facts , posted by pablo on Feb 12, 2005

Pablo,
I have already made a few futile attempts in the past with Latin Euro.  I never got any results with them, but the girls photos are sexy and enjoyable to look at.  Above that, I am not interested in doing business with them again.  But, I mentioned them as a prime example of what to watch out for.  I know there are others too.  Thanks for your imput.

                           OkieMan

[Pete E]

... in response to Agency Hype vs Facts , posted by OkieMan on Feb 11, 2005

I have been handed a bio sheet by agencies and asked to fill it out.My thought was I would like to think about this awhile,not just put anything down,particularly about my qualities and what I am looking for.So I am guesing some girls don't know what to say and they get coached a little.BUT,she could be lying anyway.The agency just brings the 2 of you together.They could not affectively monitor the profiles for the truth even if they were so inclined.
SO,its up to the guy and the girl to check out what the other person is telling them,and to try and decern the truthfullness and even the level of attration.My advice is a long test drive,just the opposite of what I did the first time.That wouldn't be so hard if a guy is living here.
Its very tough on 2 or 4 weeks vacation a year.
An option.Take a year off work to live here.I suggested this to a guy recently and he even admitted he could do it if he REALLY WANTED TO.Its just a huge personal undertaking and change of life.Its called a commitment.The opposite of lurking and sending E mails.AND it might be real hard to go back later.After my car business failed I had to go back to my government job for 5 years to get my pension.After tasting personal freedom I hated it.But it was worth it.
Other little observation.After meeting a hottie at a party
one of our posters determined she was probably a hooker.Signed up with 3 agencies I think.With a  body like that she could make lots of short term,like 30 miniute deals.And it doesn't have the degree of negative stigma here as in the states.
Go to Chipi Chapi any weekday afternnon.There are lots of hotties there shopping in expensive stores.Some have Colombian husbands or Colombian or gringo sugar dadies.ALOT OF THEM ARE PROBABLY HOOKERS. There are like 1000 bordelos in Cali?Plus lots of call in or internet sites.
These girls are probably well represented in the casual shoppers at Chipi Chapi.I saw one hooker,kind of a favorite of a friend when he chooses to indulge at Chipi Chapi.Walking around with an 8 year old kid,looking prosperous housewife.Yup,thats her.What the hell.Its a choice.She wants the money.Guys are willing to spend it.No victim in my mind on either side of the deal.Wish someone like her was available lots of times in the states I wasn't getting what I wanted.

Pete