Update

[kented]

My wife and daughters have been here almost two months, all are in school and learning English [slowly].  My wife got her learner's permit after passing the written driving test on her second try and life assumes as semblance of normalcy.  

Someone commented that after she gets here, the work really begins and that is completely true.  The things which are unequivically good are I eat great food, the house is spotless, my wife has no interest in other men and I have a gorgeous sexy wife.  

There are really no surprises and the things we struggle with are the same issues we had in Costa Rica.  The children are well behaved, like me and do their homework but many times I am outside the "family circle".  Ohter men have worried about the fidelity of their wife, I just struggle for her find time for me other than bed time.

I have had three relationships in my life, with a gringa when I made all the rules and then with a gringa and later a colombiana who were completely self-centered and gave me no reason to compromise.  So I realize that I have never had a real relationship in my life and this is something I need to learn how to do if I want to have a good marriage.

Discussing things with my wife is a lost cause.  It is a waste of time to discuss issues with my wife because she doesn't listen, misinterprets what I say and takes things personally.  I have figureed out that if I don't like something, shutting up and living with it is my best option.  If I want to influence her, I need to be delicate, pick the right time, only deal with one small things after telling her many good things, etc.  

In summation, women are unusual creatures and latinas are definately unique.  At a restaurant tonight [an early Valentine's Day celebration], my wife and I held hands and I knew I was with the most beautiful woman in the restaurant.  I have a beautiful woman, who loves me but I don't have a woman who wants to be dependant or take orders from me.  She will do lots of things I want, but only out of love never obligation.  I don't believe that Latinas are much 'easier' than AW but my wife is pretty and worth the considerable effort.

[utopiacowboy]

... in response to Update, posted by kented on Feb 13, 2005

Kented, I am glad that you are content and that your wife is worth the effort. I think people need to realize that the Latinas are all different. My wife is always very sensible and we discuss everything. Even though her three kids live with us, there is never any doubt who her number 1 priority is. I get all the attention that I want but at the same time, with four kids of my own, I know that children need a lot of attention. I would say that my relationship with my wife is the easiest and most straightforward one I have ever had. Maybe it's the chemical engineer in her.

[Seeker]

... in response to Re: Update, posted by utopiacowboy on Feb 13, 2005

I'm assuming your wife was a chemical engineer in Medellin. I'm currently communicating with accountants, engineers and lawyers from Medellin. Having an intelligent woman has always been my priority, but I'm starting to wonder if these professional women would be willing to leave their careers in Colombia to follow me to the U.S.. This was never an issue for me in Cali. Any thoughts on this, based on your experiences with your wife, would be greatly appreciated.

[utopiacowboy]

... in response to Sacrificing Careers, posted by Seeker on Feb 14, 2005

Yes, she has a degree in chemical engineering and ran several of the shops in the Coltejer textile plant. It really depends on the woman. A young single childless woman with a good career in Medellin might be difficult to persuade. On the other hand, the same woman with a couple of kids or like my wife, an older widow with three kids, it's a whole different story. Their marriage prospects are slim to none in Colombia and the idea of having a husband and father figure for their children really appeals to them. My wife is a wife first, a mother second, and a chemical engineer third. She wants to work but her husband and family are much more important to her.

[Seeker]

... in response to Re: Sacrificing Careers, posted by utopiacowboy on Feb 15, 2005

Thanks for your reply. I need to remember that the priorities of a Colombian woman might be different than those of an AW. I need to find a woman who has her priorities of wife, mother and career in that order too.

I just spoke to a university student from Medellin today, that was telling me she had just gotten back from a vacation in Chile, Argentina and Brazil with her family. I literally lost my train of thought thinking to myself: Why in the hell would this single, young, beautiful, wealthy Paisa ever want to leave Medellin? But...we kept talking, she was so sweet, intelligent and insightful. It was time to go and she said "God bless you" and coming from her it was music to my ears. These women are amazing. I have to remind myself that maybe not all would want to leave Colombia and everything that this implies, but if I can find just one of these gems who does want a good husband above everything else, I'll be truly blessed.

[utopiacowboy]

... in response to Re: Re: Sacrificing Careers, posted by Seeker on Feb 15, 2005

Yes, they are! And yes, you will be (blessed)!

[OkieMan]

... in response to Re: Sacrificing Careers, posted by utopiacowboy on Feb 15, 2005

Ok Utopiacowboy,
I have an idea for you.  Since your wife is a chemical engineer, then buy her some lab equipment, and put her to work.  Maybe she can invent the next "whatever", and you will be rich.  If not, maybe she can come up with some cheaper weapons the Pentagon can use to kill some more terrorists!  It's just a thought.  ha.   All kidding aside, I am curious about how she feels about not working in her chosen profession?  I know that you are obviously nuts about her, and maybe that is enough for her to be content.  If so, then great.  If not, then maybe you have a latina "Einstein" on your hands!  By the way, unlike some guys, intelligent women really turn me on!  So, again, you are a very luckly man.  Stay safe and happy.

                        OkieMan

[utopiacowboy]

... in response to Re: Re: Sacrificing Careers, posted by OkieMan on Feb 15, 2005

OkieMan, she expends whatever spare energy she has on taking care of me and the kids and domestic chores like laundry, cooking and house cleaning. Of course she also goes to her ESL classes and to exercise so it's not all drugery.

[el Cantante]

... in response to Re: Update, posted by utopiacowboy on Feb 13, 2005

Great to hear that your wife put you prior to her own kids. Most of the stories I heard and one from my own, their kids always come first no matter what you provid to them. The excuse is you could walk away from them anytime, but their kids are always with them. A point people really to consider well at this process.

[utopiacowboy]

... in response to Re: Re: Update, posted by el Cantante on Feb 13, 2005

We talked about this before we got married and we were both very clear about this. Our children are very important and need a lot of time and attention, but we are each other's first priority. I would say if a Latina can't make this promise and keep it, then keep on looking and find one who will.

[jediknight]

... in response to Update, posted by kented on Feb 13, 2005

thanks for letting us in on some of the hurdles that come with being with a latina. we need to keep reminding ourselves that noone is perfect, we certainly are not and have to remind ourselves of the things that are important to us in our latina, the things that set her apart from the rest, the good things that make it all worth the struggle, like you said, she is worth the considerable effort, i think that says it all, nice post
thanks

[Heat]

... in response to Update, posted by kented on Feb 13, 2005

In summation, women are unusual creatures""

Dude, is this ever true.  And women in their 30 and fortys are much more independent than their 20's.

I have to keep trading them in at after 30.
nice post, good luck.