If money weren't an issue...

[Looking4Wife]

[This message has been edited by Looking4Wife]


If you could afford to spend a few months in Latin America (LA), but couldn't "move" down there indefinitely due to business matters in the USA...

Would it be a good game plan to discuss the serious possibility of (you, the gringo) moving to LA to be with your fiance during the time period while awaiting her visa approval?

I seem to remember someone (jokingly?) suggesting that it is a good idea to mention an INTENT (for the gringo) to move to LA (permanently?) just to test the Latina's sincerity (whether moving there is actually realistic for you or not).

But back to my point... if you had the means to do so, it seems to me that it would be a good idea to move there for some time during the visa approval process (not indefinitely), to be sure she is not running around with other guys, while awaiting the "gringo green card express".

Thoughts, anyone???

Gracias

[kented]

... in response to If money weren't an issue..., posted by Looking4Wife on Jan 8, 2005

Both are good ideas, moving to LA to live with your novia and know her in her environment as well as suggesting living there permanently to test sincerity.

I knew fronm day 1 that my wife ould prefer that I moved to CR but she realizes I need to earn a living here.

[Pete E]

... in response to If money weren't an issue..., posted by Looking4Wife on Jan 8, 2005

I agree with some of the posts about being here to find your wife.Itsimportant enough and difficult enough to do long range a guy might consider a year off work to live here.You can teach english or at least rent an apartment long term then rooms short term to get by.I won't get in to visa issueshere,too many possibilities.
BUT,once you are married there should be no doubt about her.If so hire a private detective.If she is screwing around on you then thats a one strike you're out.
I know a girl here who was married to a European guy.She was staying to finish her University,I don't know about visa issues.She is like 22 and hot,I thought what a lucky guy.Wrong.She was screwing around and they split up.

Pete

[JimmySTLOUIS]

... in response to If money weren't an issue..., posted by Looking4Wife on Jan 8, 2005

I spent 4 weeks living with my girl in her parents house.

This was after already making 2-3 trips.
I think this this helped me get to know her a lot better. But the other side of the coin is that my girl really did not get to know the real me.
Down there I am just this great guy who seems to have a few bucks to spend. I am just hanging out not working etc.
Here I work a lot and can be rather tight with the $

So she really knows another guy then the guy I am.
I hope this makes sense.

TE AMO PERU!!

jim

[kented]

... in response to Re: If money weren't an issue..., posted by JimmySTLOUIS on Jan 8, 2005

She doesn't.  Livng on vacation in LA is different than working a living on abudget in he US.  The trials and adjustments when she gets ehre will be considerable but love with eventually help you ride out the challenges.

[Johnboy]

... in response to Re: If money weren't an issue..., posted by JimmySTLOUIS on Jan 8, 2005

i've got the same dilemma Jimbob. I have been to Baq. 4 times in the last year. All that time must be made up when i'm back here which means i have that much more work to do-business owner. Yet, she expects to talk 3 or 4 times a day online or by phone and i just don't have the time for it. Makes me wonder what it will be like when she gets here. During my Christmas trip i set up some work to do on line before i left. I spent a few hours online in her bedroom (she's got a laptop) a couple days working while she sat quietly and content nearby. She does express a great desire to help when she gets here.

[Looking4Wife]

... in response to Play there work here...same dilemma, posted by Johnboy on Jan 9, 2005


Johnboy:

As you may know, I am planning to begin my search in BAQ.  I noticed your profile says married since Feb 2004, and that you mentioned going to BAQ 4x in the last year.

Did you find your wife through an agency, or how did you find her?  I am planning to use Jamie's agency, International-Introductions for my 1st trip.  My current plan is to stay 14 days and, hopefully, begin dating 1-3 prospects during that time.

Any info on your situation, and/or feedback on mine, will be appreciated.

Gracias

[Johnboy]

... in response to Re: Play there work here...same dilemma, posted by Looking4Wife on Jan 9, 2005

Technically, i did find my wife through and agency-Barranquillas Best. The original package was for about 6 days for about $100 a day including hotel. I was to get so many introductions per day. I can't remember how many they promised. As it turned out i opted for another hotel-El Prado and they adjusted the price for me. I basically only used there dating service for three of the 10 days i was there. I met my wife the first night i landed at a hotel party the agency held. There were approx 6 Americans and about 35 Latinas. 10 of us went out that night-4 Americans, an English speaking taxi driver named Hermono, my wife and 4 of her girlfriends. This was my first date in Colombia. Everything was going well until Hermano (watch out for this guy) took my future wife to the other side of the bar to meet some friends. There was a misunderstanding, but we worked it out. We met again 3 days later.

[thundernco]

... in response to If money weren't an issue..., posted by Looking4Wife on Jan 8, 2005

Quite frankly, if money is not an issue, I would move there for the search, not just awaiting the visa.  It's so difficult to gain an understanding of the culture and it's effects on the ladies you will be dating.  The glints of perspective from the time that most people spend there in search of a wife rarely give more than a tourist's view of their life.  As Traveller, Pete, Atrevido and others that have lived there can tell you, until you live there you can't gain a deeper understanding of the culture and it's people.  This deeper understanding, I feel, will better help you in your selection of a mate as well as in your future marriage.  Time and money would be more well spent by living there during the courtship and selection process while you date a bevy of women rather than after you've met that special one.  If you have to worry about whether or not she is "running around with other guys, while awaiting the "gringo green card express", you've already made the wrong selection.  Good luck -TNC

[kented]

... in response to Re: If money weren't an issue..., posted by thundernco on Jan 8, 2005

Living in Costa Rica was the best decision of nmy life and the most fun.  Although I was fluent in Spanish and had made about a dozen trips, I gained invaluable insight intot he culture and people which I would never have gotten as a visitor.  

At 57, I am a little older than most of you which gave me some options in manipulating my life to help me do this.  Now question that living there is the way to go.

[Looking4Wife]

... in response to Re: If money weren't an issue..., posted by thundernco on Jan 8, 2005


Thanks for your comments, thunderco.

1.  Per your comments, I have edited my message above to add the restriction that you could only move to LA on a temporary basis, due to business commitments back in the states.

As you aptly pointed out, moving down there to select a wife in the first place would be the ideal scenario, but time and business commitments is an added constraint... even if money is not an issue.

2.  Since you appear to be a veteran of this process, and someone who is already married (to a Latina I presume), I respect your opinion very highly.

However, I find it necessary to take issue with one of your comments:

"If you have to worry about whether or not she is "running around with other guys, while awaiting the "gringo green card express", you've already made the wrong selection."

A.  I don't think its a matter of "having to worry" about it, its a matter of trying to provide as close to the idea scenario as possible, despite the long distance relationship.  In an ideal scenario, a couple in courtship would not spend that much time apart, as is experienced in the Gringo-Latina, Continent-to-Continent Commute.  In a "normal" relationship, it would be unwise to spend that much time apart in courtship or marriage.  Its not a matter of "worry", its a matter of exercising as much "wisdom" as your money, time, and circumstances will allow.

B.  Besides the fact that this board has examples of situations of people finding out that their Latina was either unfaithful or at least "unfocused" on the relationship.  The more fortunate ones found out before marriage, the less fortunate found out after marriage.

C.  If everybody had a crystal ball to know whether they made the "right selection" in the first place, divorce would be virtually non-existent.  Since Miss Cleo is out of business now, there's really no way to know with absolute certainty that you're making the RIGHT decision :-)  Almost EVERYONE "thinks" they are making the right selection when they stand at the altar and pledge their undying love "forever, until death do us part", but it doesn't always turn out that way... in fact, with divorce rates over 50%, not including those remaining married but unhappy (and often unfaithful), it USUALLY doesn't turn out that way...

(NOTE: I'm aware that divorce statistics in other countries are typically no where near American levels, but I am also aware that men in other coutries are no more faithful than American men.  Hence, a lot of people the world over are remaining married, but ultimately unfulfilled and unhappy).

[kented]

... in response to Re: Re: If money weren't an issue..., posted by Looking4Wife on Jan 8, 2005

I knew my wife wouldn't run around during 2004 when I was in the US and she was waiting for her visa from my experiences during the last four months of 2003.  She was a homebody who placed her daughter's first.  

I would have gone crazy if I wasn't certain that my wife would be faithful.

[thundernco]

... in response to Re: Re: If money weren't an issue..., posted by Looking4Wife on Jan 8, 2005

Looking,

No problem, to quote you, you stated that you would move down "to be sure she is not running around with other guys, while awaiting the "gringo green card express".  Perhaps worry was the wrong word to use to convey my message.  That said, I still feel that if you can afford the time and money to spend in Latin America during the visa process, that same time and money would be better spent in Latin America during the selection proces.  
Best of Luck -TNC

[Looking4Wife]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: If money weren't an issue..., posted by thundernco on Jan 9, 2005


Thunderco:

Your point is, and was, well taken.  You have caused me to seriously consider how I could make this option happen.  It does seem to make a lot of sense to invest the time up front, if at all possible, rather than at the back end.

Gracias!