First date tips

[Margareth Mayor]

Hi thanks everybody here for the welcome, I received a lot of great e-mails !!! I hope I can help guys, and you OkieMan I wish you good luck in your search.
Of course I will share here some tips to win the latinas heart, the first appoinment is very very imporatant:

1.- You need to be yourself, and give her a rose in the first appointment (it's a good start)
2.- In the first appoinment look at her directly in the eyes
3.- the first appoinment you need to look elegant ( we  know that you will come in your vacation time but the first impression is very important.)
4.- Please don't say what you own, like material things,it's not important for a NICE latin woman.
5.-You need to make her comfortable, try to make a joke the good sense of humor is wonderful help (like an ice breaker)
6.- Don't make the appointment look like a job interview, try to make a plesant conversation.
7.- If the lady doesn't catch your attention, or you feel that there is no chemistry/connection at all just be very kind but try not to give her hopes, make the conversation short. On the other side, if you act mean or rude just remember that she might have a beautiful friend...
8.- Smell nice all the time, Latinas love guys that smell like cologne or perfume.
9.-Colombian women are tired of unfaithful men, so when you are talking to a lady, don't look around to check out another girls, be focused.
10.-If you really like the lady ask her for a second date, so that she will know since the beginning that you are interested.

I will continue to give more tips, I hope this can help everybody,
Margareth

[Thunderstruck]

... in response to First date tips, posted by Margareth Mayor on Jan 8, 2005

Great tips. I have blown especially 4,5,6, and 9. 8 is unique to Colombia, because in America cologne can run people off. The most important tip is to go to an agency which will setup dates for you. In my 4 attempts to join LE, the secretaries made it clear they could not setup dates with the website chicas I wanted to meet. I considered it Internet fraud, but have since been told on this board that it was *really* because Margareth didn't like me. She was kind to me, so I'm not sure.

I met the girls I wanted to meet in most other agencies however, so I recommend not paying LE a dime unless le will guarantee the girls you want to meet.

[Ron99]

... in response to First date tips, posted by Margareth Mayor on Jan 8, 2005

Hello Margareth,
Thank you for your post. It never hurts to be reminded of the little things that mean so much to a lady. It has been many years since I have heard your name.  
Paola and I are doing fine - married now for over five years, and still very much in love.  It seems that the fire just gets stronger every day.  There is nothing like the love of a Colombian lady.  Take care.  Ron

[Seeker]

... in response to First date tips, posted by Margareth Mayor on Jan 8, 2005

Thank you Margareth for your very valuable tips. I'm grateful to have a knowledgeable Latina such as yourself interested in helping us out. I think we could use more women on this forum to get a more balanced perspective in our discussions.
I'd like to suggest a few topics for your upcoming contributions:
(1) There has been a tendency to think of women from Cali as "party girls," especially when compared to women from Medellin and Bogota. Therefore, the reasoning goes, they're fun to date, but not marriage material. What do you think?
(2) You suggest giving a date a rose. When, if ever, should other gifts come into play? For example, when, if ever, is it O.K. to take a girl shopping or offer to take her to San Andres?
(3) What do you think of women who've been in an agency for many years? Does it mean they're not serious, players, etc.? What about guys who've been going to LE for 5 years and still haven't found someone?

Whenever you get some time, I'd love to hear your thoughts on any of the above topics. Take care!

[Margareth Mayor]

... in response to Re: First date tips, posted by Seeker on Jan 9, 2005

Thanks everybody again for the kind welcome, I am happy to be able to share some of my knowledge with all of you, it's really a pleasure for me.
Seeker, the topics you suggested are very interesting and we will develop them in the order you gave during the upcoming days.
Margareth

[kented]

... in response to First date tips, posted by Margareth Mayor on Jan 8, 2005

Great comments.  I would point out that the reason you mention these is that gringos frequently DON'T do these things which is something we need to be reminded.

The one time I was in Colombia, I saw some men act disrespectful to the women and that was very upsetting to them and to me.  It makes all gringos look bad and it is one reason why some women get disillusioned by the process.

[OkieMan]

... in response to First date tips, posted by Margareth Mayor on Jan 8, 2005

Hello again Margareth,
 Thanks so much for your tips.  I am sure all of us can learn from that.  However, if I could please ask you to be a little more detailed when you said,"dress elegant".  Naturally, I would want to dress nice, but you are not talking about wearing a suit, are you?  When I was in Cali in August; I wore nice, but casual clothes, like khaki pants and a nice short sleeve shirt, and nice shoes.  In your opinion, is that good enough or not?  Certainly good grooming would be important to make that good "first impression."  Since our customs are different, I would want to make the lady feel comfortable and happy to spend time with me. I look forward to more information from you, as you can share it.

                          OkieMan

[Margareth Mayor]

... in response to Re: First date tips, posted by OkieMan on Jan 8, 2005

Hi Okie,
Every men has his own style depending on his personality, but the important thing is to look clean and smell nice, and a good shave is what latin women like, it's not right when a lady spends 2 hours in the beutyshop to be pretty to meet the possible man of her dreams and he shows up with flip-flops, shorts and a sleeveless shirt (just like he's going to the beach)  I know that Cali has a tropical weather, but people here in Cali never walk around wearing that outfit unless they are going to a pool.
I think that what you wore is fine, it was casual but nice.  The first impression is the most important and you never know if your next appointment is going to be your future wife.
Margareth

[roadken]

... in response to Re: First date tips, posted by OkieMan on Jan 8, 2005

Colombians appreciate well dressed men.Wear nice slacks(dockers are okay),polished shoes,collared shirt,etc.
Shorts,flip flops and the like are a very bad idea.Remeber,the girls are checking you out as well.They get to decide too.Dressing nice is considered good manners.
Good manners are appreciated everywhere.

[thunderbolt]

... in response to Re: First date tips, posted by OkieMan on Jan 8, 2005

In my experience, Latin guys always dress very nice when they go out, and especially the Colombians, so the girls will probably expect that from the Americans as well.

Keep in mind, that many people in the less wealthy countries can afford only one or two outfits that they wear when they go out and want to 'impress', so they invest into the more expensive ones.  If you dress overly casual, this will communicate that you don't think that meeting her is that important or she might even think you can't afford nicer things.  I have not been to Cali per se, but I have observed that Latins believe that it's better to overdress than underdress.  You are on their turf and will judged by their standards.

[soltero]

... in response to Re: First date tips, posted by OkieMan on Jan 8, 2005

OkieMan,

I don't claim to be an expert, and I certainly don't have the experience that Margareth has within her culture and her time running an agency, but one thing I have found in relating to any woman that works is being a gentleman and treating her with respect. Being from the South, this is second nature. The times are changing, but luckily, I have been around to see them change and I still know how to make a good impression and that is universal. I know that you have been out of the dating game for awhile, but if you remember the way that you were when you had your  first dates, you will do well in SA. I know from your posts that you are very detail oriented and specific, but there is no script for being a good person as I also believe you to be, so don't stress the differences in culture or language or anything else. Those things might protect you from getting taken, but I am sure that you know how to be yourself and be courteous. The beauty of the Latina is not only in her outward appearance, but also in her femininity and complex simplicity. She is looking for a protector, provider, and faithful companion. AW's have been brainwashed to think that these things are taboo to desire in the face of women's lib even though they still desire them. The Latina does not have that problem. The best advice is to be happy and comfortable with yourself, confident, and respectful. While you are choosing, you are being chosen. Realize that and be yourself.

[Johnboy]

... in response to Re: Re: First date tips, posted by soltero on Jan 8, 2005

Yes, i agree. These "tips" are basic for ANY first date no matter who the woman is. I have never regarded wearing cologne as a necessity though (-: I mean, unless you've got a b.o. problem. Many people over use it. I have went on dates where she wore so much i became nauseous.

[Red Clay]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: First date tips, posted by Johnboy on Jan 9, 2005

N/T

[OkieMan]

... in response to Re: Re: First date tips, posted by soltero on Jan 8, 2005

Soltero,
 I appreciate your comments.  I guess what you are saying, is that many of these things are universal in their appeal.  That is good to know. On the one had, I do enjoy being a gentleman; and I can respect the latinas for wanting to be treated like ladies.  For me, that will be one of the more enjoyable parts of courtship. Even though I am not from the Deep South, traditionally, we men in Oklahoma have been trained  to be gentlemen as well.  It is very sad that the manners and tenderness have been lost in our relationships here in America.  I plan on using the training I received in my youth; sort of polish the "rust off", so to speak.  I am a father of 3 sons, and I tried to show them how to be gentlemen too.  In fact, when they were growing up, I received several compliments on my son's good manners.   But, as far a dating goes; yes, I am very rusty.  Since Margareth was kind enough to volunteer her time to us on this board; I just thought it would be nice to learn more from her.  I enjoy talking to nice ladies.  I have had too much experience with the more "bitchy" ones here in the US. Thanks again.

                               OkieMan

[zack]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: First date tips, posted by OkieMan on Jan 8, 2005

Okieman,

What I love about Latinas is they enjoy being women. Forget about all the feminist issues you see here in the states. Latinas won't get offended if you open doors for them or pull their chairs out before they sit down. They like being treated like a lady. I'm glad you enjoy being a gentleman because they will appreciate that a lot.
Just my 2 cents.

Zack