Again?!!!

[Bear]

I have recently found myself looking for work again and think I found a potentially good job with an International Hotel chain.  Amazingly when I was doing some repairs the the HVAC automation system I became friends with the Chief Engineer for the property.  Yeap he is married to a Filipina - 2nd one.

The last 2 years have been a real wake up call for me.  I had not believed that there were such people out there dressed in angel skins.  This Britian's first wife took every penny he had and purchased property in her and her families name, bought them a pig farm and a mango plantation while sending $500-1000/month home to them.  They failed both the pig farm and mango plantaion.  He found out later that he can't touch once single property because the R.P. only allows citizens to own property other than their residence.  (Is that really true - I have heard that a lot lately?).

Still he took this job and met a Filipina cutie in Hong Kong (at the hotel where he worked) and married his second Filipina.  So there must be something we all still believe in to go back for more after such a rude awakening with the first.  He did not repeat the same mistkes with this one as he did the first and they seem to be very happy (6 years now).  I intend to introduce then to this board soon.

Bear

[FilipinaCupid]

... in response to Again?!!!, posted by Bear on Sep 2, 2001


an "again" or 2!

I hope most of you are wiser in finances (ownership & control) than he.  Best to not temp even the best of people with total control.  

I do not believe I could ever do such thing to my husband, even if he bad to me, but I would not want to face such temptations.

I know I said "ALL" in the subject line but there are so many factors for a good to GREAT relationship.  Certainly one of the most important is finding the right individual.

Blessings on your new job Bear.

Jean

[Bear]

... in response to It is ALL in finding the Right  IndiVidu..., posted by FilipinaCupid on Sep 2, 2001

I think American men are just too trusting, passive and afraid because of the laws protecting women here (I wonder why they do not teach that in the CFO class).  Its just too hard to believe someone you love could take such advantage.

I am hearing even more about a past event here.  I am amazed at the info that trickles in here and there and some of the things that are being said.  Still I can't hardly comprehend that people can be so calculating and premeditated to use such malace of forethought and design a complete travesty of an innocent.  Particularly one who is claiming life long love and commitment to that person.  Such increditable evil. What kind of person can do that?!

Even so I went through it with my "ex" here so...

Bear

[FilipinaCupid]

... in response to Well actually, posted by Bear on Sep 2, 2001


The "family" has much influence over "many" individuals and often woman can be "talked into" doing things against their persoanl judgement and then it grow & grow and they feel trapped.  Best to not put her in such position.

I have discussed frankly with my Jerry what my obligations are now and what I agreed with my family they will be after I marry.  I believe it is very important issue to discuss and have agreement before marriage.  

Also, you must allow some flexibilty in budget.  In my case, the flexible part is bigger than the monthly amount, as I want to help most when funds are truly needed and not just send as basic obligation.  I believe in heart I will do more good for family this way.  What do you believe?

Jerry read the "Culture Shock" book and said one time he would allow me to handle our checkbook as in PI custom.  I say OK, if he will handle our investment money.  I gladly be responsible for the more time comsuming day-to-day finances if he be responsible for the more important BiG dollar funds.  

I know how to buy and care for home but know little of investing.  He smart, experienced man but have limited time so I think this good arrangement.  What has worked for all you "old" married couples?  Am I thinking practical?  I plan to work in USA but not same hours as my Jerry.  I hope he work less also.  Maybe, I use my 1,001 Ideas for the Night book to distract him.hehehe

Blessings to ALL,

Jean

[MikeB42]

... in response to It does not need to be premeditated to h..., posted by FilipinaCupid on Sep 2, 2001

Hi Folks,Does anyone have a copy of "Culture Shock",that
        they wish to part with.Or know of a place here in
        Canada,that i may purchase the book.Chapter/Indigo
        says that the book is discontinued.Thanks to all.
           Mike

[FilipinaCupid]

... in response to Re: It does not need to be premeditated ..., posted by MikeB42 on Sep 2, 2001


Hi, this is good book but keep in mind when it was written and much of what it says has been and is changing,  Still, I recommend it and have it described in my online book store.  It can be shiped to Canada or if you have any problem I will ask my friend Teri to mail you one.  See info at:  http://EverlastingLove.com/books.htm

or order direct from Amazon.  You can read my review there, also.

My Henry's book "A Long Way to go for a Date" is also very enlightening.  I talked with him recently and his new marriage is going very well.  He is a Canadian also.

Blessings,

Jean

[donb2222]

... in response to You ask about "Culture Shock - Phil..., posted by FilipinaCupid on Sep 3, 2001

Culture Shock is an interesting book.  But, in my experience, most of the info was dated, and did not apply anymore.
Maybe it would apply if you are doing business in the PI, but
much of it will not apply to social situations.
Just my opinion only.......
Don

[FilipinaCupid]

... in response to I agree..., posted by donb2222 on Sep 3, 2001


My book keeps growing and growing as I see so much misleading information and I try to address so visitors have better picture of real issues today and how they vary.

PI is really many countries in a way don't you think?

[shadow]

... in response to Re: It does not need to be premeditated ..., posted by MikeB42 on Sep 2, 2001

I got mine through Amazon.com.

Larry.

[Bear]

... in response to It does not need to be premeditated to h..., posted by FilipinaCupid on Sep 2, 2001

did discuss it in great detail but since she has made changes because of the way her family has treated her.  I have not heard her say a single "nice thought" from her family in months.  She says they are always yelling and complaining now.  Its quite sad and shocking.  I imagine when she moves out this weekend things might even get worse for a while.

Bear

[Peaches]

... in response to Honey and I ...., posted by Bear on Sep 2, 2001

Bear,

I think Honey and her family should talk. I understand
how she feel right now but I think fighting against her
family is not a good idea. I guess an explanation
should deserve to take the peace back against her
family. HOney's family needs the words
"understanding" and "acceptance".  Explain (honey) to
them(family) the limits and the do's and dont's, that not
all Americans are rich, that you is Honey's husband
(that you are membr of the family and need to be
respected) Let her ignore the "chika" of the kapitbahay
and relatives. "Chika" will ruin life and if you won't
ignore it you will end up thinking about it all the time. It's
her family and nothing can change that. SOmehow I
know the family will listen.

Do something to take the peace back in the family.

Just and idea.

[Bear]

... in response to Re: Honey and I ...., posted by Peaches on Sep 3, 2001

already.  She is resistant a little but I did insist because I do know that family is important.  She will deal with it and if I go to the R.P. in Dec (meaning she is not here) then I will deal with it personally.  Right now I think the constant abuse or fear of does not warrant her staying but I have let her make this choice.

Actually she has always had to depend on someone or care for someone so I think its good that she have a few months being on her own (if you call living with 5 girls on her own and getting money from her husband independant).

Bear

[FilipinaCupid]

... in response to Honey and I ...., posted by Bear on Sep 2, 2001


My prayers will be with her, Bear.  I need not tell you Honey is truly SpeciaL.  I hope one of your pettitions gets approval soon as she does not have to wait much longer.

It saddens me to think of what she must be experiencing.  I hope her roommates are strong and supportive so she has "local" support in addition to her Cuddly Bear.

Blessings ... & some good-old-fashion LucK t00

Jean