a question of semantics!

[capt david]

Thanks in advance for your help. I have been in touch w/ several ladies. My trip, as of now, is not exclusively to find a wife. I am not a saint, but try not to be a sinner either. Several of the ladies have volunteered to be my TOUR GUIDE, my caps. I friend of mine, more of a sinner, says that is another name for "ladies of the night." Am I being a bit paranoid? What is your opinion? Another woman,who lives in Manila, wanted to "show me her islands." Can I be putting too much into this? any help would be appreciated. Thanks again; Captdavid

[Dave H]

... in response to a question of semantics!, posted by capt david on Sep 2, 2001

Hi Capt. David,

I think that you are probably reading too much into it. I don't think that "tour guide" or "show you my islands" are euphemisms for prostitution. The ladies would probably like to have you exclusively to themselves and at the same time would enjoy showing you around. This way they have first chance at you. I am sure they would also enjoy the possibility of going going to nice places and perhaps receiving some small gifts. You have to watch those that are only interested in the gifts and spending your money. I gave my money to my fiancee to hold as Ray has suggested. She did her best to see that she returned as much as possible to me.

Good Luck!

Dave H.

[Dave H]

... in response to Just a bit paranoid..., posted by Dave H on Sep 2, 2001

Just don't give her all of your money. If she is wise and frugal with it, that could be a good sign. If she wastes it, or keeps part of it, perhaps it is an indication of other things such as immaturity, selfishness, or just wanting your money. I was happy to see that my fiancee stretched a peso a long way and didn't want to spend any on herself. She only asked me if she could buy a kids meal with a toy, when we were at Jollybees. She wanted to take it home to her young niece, whom she has been raising.

Dave H.

[Dingo]

... in response to a question of semantics!, posted by capt david on Sep 2, 2001

Dear El Captain,
Nearly all of my penpals in the past have offered to be my "Tour Guide"
That means only what it says they simply are hoping you'll come to visit and they will
show you around the city where they live. Nothing more......unless your REALLY lucky LOL.
Seriously, It has taken me many many years but this Philippine Adventure is finally working out.
My advice:

1.) Make promises to NO one (unless your ready)
2.) Visit as many ladies as you can in one trip. A day with each is all it takes.
3.) Then Go back home and THINK about it.
4.) Take lots of pictures, take lots of pictures, take lots of pictures.(video if you can to)
5.) Don't bring up MONEY during the first visit or letter.
6.) Drink Bottled water
7.) Just relax and enjoy yourself and take it all in.
8.) Learn at least a dozen simple Filipino words before your go.

Salamat = thank you
Magkano = how much?
Bakit = Why
Paano = How
Unsa = ONE
Opo = Yes
Hindi = NO
Sakit / Aguy = "Ouch that hurts" LOL

9.) BUY the book "Philippine Culture Shock" they have a whole series "Japan", "German" Etc..
Ok that's enough.
For now.
Where is your number 1?
My wife is in Cebu.

Good luck.

[Stephen]

... in response to Re: a question of semantics!, posted by Dingo on Sep 2, 2001

nt.....

[Dingo]

... in response to UNSA means "What" not one...te..., posted by Stephen on Sep 2, 2001

Thanks Tess, I checked my dictionary. I thought "what" was "ano".?
Maybe I'm confusing Visayan and Tagalog.
...bisan ano L.O.L.

Guess I confused ISA with UNSA
Dingo

[Peaches]

... in response to UNSA means "What" not one...te..., posted by Stephen on Sep 2, 2001


n/t

[Dingo]

... in response to Tess, maybe it's  usa=1., posted by Peaches on Sep 2, 2001

Peaches
U.S.A. is number 1?
I thought Philippines was number 1. L.O.L.

Number 1 = Melokotons

Dingo

[Jimbo]

... in response to a question of semantics!, posted by capt david on Sep 2, 2001

Hi Captain,

That's a tough call.  Many Filipinas are too innocent to consider the sexual innuendos of what they say.  But others who are more savvy or are actual scammers do exist.  I think that only you can determine which types you are dealing with based on your correspondence with them.

So I'm not going to windward or leeward on this one.  I'm staying in the middle of the boat.

Jim

[Bear]

... in response to a question of semantics!, posted by capt david on Sep 2, 2001

There are good and bad everywhere.  Don't just assume that only bad girls are wanting to marry Kanos/foreigners.  What I have deduced from my efforts is that you stand a better chance if several things occur.  You try to meet Filipinas not looking for someone.  And make your expectations extremely clear as to what you are looking for and expect in a wife and her family.  It appears to me that Filipinas respect strength and authority in their men and respond more like what you are probably wanting.  I am not saying be a hard@ss, cruel and abusive, but a "take charge" person.

Communication is so critical.  If you do not want a wife who will spend every penny you have taking care of her family, while working here and putting you and your children last as she spends every spare minute at the mall buying everything she desires and looks for a richer man to support her, then believe it or not you had better say so.  If its important you had better discuss it more than once and make sure she can explain back to you what she thinks your expecting.  There is a language barrier and culture difference even if it appears they speak good english.  I know now lots of guys who have run into serious problems with religion, money and family becuse they just didn't discuss those issues fully (including me).  Then they come back here and start claiming "green card sharks" and "gold digger" when in reality they didn't do their homework.  It is not a fast road to marriage and happiness.

The eldest is groomed from day one to be the provider for the family when the parents become to old to provide so that has to be considered.

As for finding "good" ladies I think you are much more likely than your friend thinks.  Only those really looking, desparate (family impoverished), expecting marriage because of your proposal or as you put it, a "sinner", will do what you are insinuating. So I think your friend is wrong. Still you should be near paranoid of not taking this extremely seriously.

Bear