Hey Howard, what's up with Ayesa?

[Don J]

Howard

Have you heard from Ayesa? How are things going over there? You guys have been in my thoughts since she left and I hope all is well.

Don J

[Howard]

... in response to Hey Howard, what's up with Ayesa?, posted by Don J on Aug 22, 2001

Don,

There hasn't been alot of news, but I was kind of expecting that.  The only means of communication--besides Snail Mail and word of mouth :c)--are cell phones.  Ayesa's barangay is in a valley surrounded on three sides by a mountain range and on the forth by water.  The Phone cables have not made it over the mountain yet.  They have set up cell towers, but there was a monsoon that took some out just before she went.  When I do talk to her on the phone, we are constantly being disconnected.  When we're not being disconnected, the static is so bad that we can barely understand what the other is saying.  I knew that communication would be tough, but it still bothers me that I don't have more contact with my wife.  But, this is the way it is there.  It was that way when we were trying to finalize arrangements for my trip in '99, her visa in 2000, etc..., so it doesn't surprise me that it's still that way.  It certainly doesn't make it easier on any of us, but there is nothing I can do.  It's very frustrating, but I was slightly prepared in advance.

The news I do get isn't very encouraging.  Ayesa seems to be handling everything in stride, but I know it must be getting to her.  The last I heard her father was at a hospital in Massin and needed surgery on his leg, some kind of complication from the diabetes.  On top of all that, last year, her mother was having trouble with an irregular heartbeat caused, in part, by a cyst she had on her heart.  There was an opporation that supposedly took care of everything, but now she is still struggling with a "slow" beating of her heart, according to Ayesa.  With her father this ill and her mother sick as well, Ayesa and her next eldest sister Azeneth are taking care of everything.  I have a bad feeling that things will only get worse, but just try to be encouraging and supportive.

Compared to all of this, our troubles seem insignificant.

Thanks for your prayers!  We need all the help we can get right now :c)

I'm holding up ok right now, but I'm concerned for my wife and in-laws.

I wish the news was better, but that is the news I have.

Keep the Faith

H

[dd]

... in response to Here's what I know..., posted by Howard on Aug 23, 2001

Problems with circulation of the legs is VERY common in diabetic patients. Surgery may range from something as simple as wound care up to total amputation. This also tends to be a chronic problem getting worse with time. In some cases it is possible to replace blood vessels (angioplasty), but I suspect that this kind of intervention is beyond the Philippine Medical expertise, except perhaps major centers in Manila or Davao.

A cyst of the heart on the other hand is unheard of. I am sure that there is some sort of mis-translation. Irregular heart beat is not all that unusual, it may be completely harmless or may require a pacemaker. Diagnosis can be made from ECG recording  and you should try to get more information from Ayesa about the ECG.

I would not worry about the doctors 'gauging' their prices.

(!private opinion only!)

[Don J]

... in response to Here's what I know..., posted by Howard on Aug 23, 2001

Howard:

I guess I figured communication would be difficult when I think back to your trip report in the past. I had the same problem when my wife was in the province at her parents house, however they now have a land line and on clear days we can reach them rather easily.

My wifes father was involved in a motorbike accident back in 99 and suffered major head injuries, when my wife explained that he needed to have 2 major brain surgeries because of swelling on the brain I didn't feel very optimistic about his recovery. But by the grace of God and many prayers, he not only survived but he is walking and can communicate fairly well with the family.

Our prayers are with you all, I wish them a speedy recovery and you a happy reunion with Ayesa.

Regards,

Don J

[humabdos]

... in response to Here's what I know..., posted by Howard on Aug 23, 2001

Howard it won't be long befors they are asking for money for operations could be expensive. I went throught this with my Ex's family. First it was the little one , then her father, the mother, sister , brother ect I never could figure out which ones where really sick.

I am not saying she is making all this up of course but I have seen it happen.

The problem is if he needs an oparation and dies because he didn't get it then she will never forgive you for not sending money to help.

The other problem is that once the doctors find out a kano's money is involved then he may just drain your bank account telling your wife her father may die without expensive meds.

Before you send any large amount of money send him to Cebu or Manila for a second opinon.

Humabdos

[NW Jim]

... in response to Re: Here's what I know..., posted by humabdos on Aug 23, 2001

Howard,

As I've followed your story it has occurred to me, as Humabdos is implying that the stories of illness may be exaggerated for a larger purpose. My comment is not meant to be hurtful, but I too am cynical of human nature.

Perhaps this was her way of saving face to go home after the rough start here.

Howard, I hope I'm wrong because you seem like a good guy whose been very honest in discussing the problems that were initially encountered and don't deserve such a fate.

Perhaps the recommendation of a second opinion could serve both purposes, a second medical opinion, and protection of your assets.

Good Luck

[Don J]

... in response to Re: Here's what I know..., posted by humabdos on Aug 23, 2001

Hum:

I have too agree that operations will be costly and that going to Cebu or Manila for medical attention would be a smart move, if not only for the quality of medical attention.

When my wifes father needed his surgery the bills where about 275,000PH (around $3,000 US at the time), and when I offered to help with money my wife refused to take any. I think today would be a different situation only because we are married and she feels that I am part of the family.

I think Ayesa's family should be very careful in announcing that there is a Kano in the family to avoid unnecessary inflated medical cost. Manila Hospitals may be more expensive than Cebu Hospitals but I guess you have to take logistics into the picture as well.

Seeing that Ayesa held her fathers health issue to herself for nearly a year to not but a burden on Howard financially, I have to think it may be hard for her to ask for his financial aid without his offering. Just my opinion for what it's worth.

Don J

[Alvin]

... in response to Second opinion, is a great idea!, posted by Don J on Aug 23, 2001

I Certaily agree that a second opinion and more test are always a good option.

My wife and I decided to have our child in her home town.  We went to see the doctor one night who was a friend of the family.  He refused to charge any delivery fee at all.  Of course my wife has insisted on paying him each visit and we will pay his normal delivery fee.  He is very competent and has given her excellent care comparable to the US.  

I am sure that some Filipino MD inflat their prices when dealing with Americans but we have to be careful when we generalize about any race or culture.  Someone may think that we are prejudice.

Alvin

[Dave H2O]

... in response to Re: Second opinion, is a great idea! Not..., posted by Alvin on Aug 23, 2001

Hi Alvin,

My fiancee's sister had gallbladder surgery in Butuan City recently. She went for a second opinion in Cebu and it was decided that their newer technology would not be of benefit for her condition. The doctor in Butuan was very competent and the surgery was successful. The doctor knew their father and that one sister was married to an American. He teased Marife because he also knew that she was engaged to me. With all of that, he gave them a 40% discount for his services.

Dave H.

[humabdos]

... in response to I agree!, posted by Dave H2O on Aug 23, 2001

Well you are just blessed Dave!   Do little rainbows follow you around he he he I must visit buttan city someday!

Maybe your wife being a nurse and the doctor being a family friend helped?   Hum

[Dave H2O]

... in response to Re: I agree!, posted by humabdos on Aug 23, 2001

Hi Hum,

I have met a few sharks in Butuan. It's the same everywhere. My fiancee's late father was a barangay captain for many years and well liked. Being a wee bit Irish (Clan Mac Carthaigh) doesn't hurt. I know where to find the "Pot O Gold" at the end of those little rainbows. ;o))

Dave H.