Generosity

[Pete E]

Sometimes I start thinking in the middle of the night.Its interesting because the mind can roam freely,not constrained by normal limits.It can lose you  sleep also.
I have always considered myself a generous person,even to the point of being foolish with my money.As a kid I liked to buy presents for my family for no particular reason or occasion.Even my ex wife told me I have "one good heart."
I have seen some really moving examples of generosity recently.Not only with material things,where money goes so much farther,but the ability to notice and care about what is going on at a critical time in a young persons life and give them support,love an encouragement.
But don't expect it to create love where there is none.You will be sadly disaponted.Instead it can create guilt,an unpleasant emotion that can lead to another unpleasant emotion,resentment.
But if the love is already there generosity can add to it.
We have to be a little carefull in a place where we are rich by comparison.Money can draw you the wrong kind of attention which we might mistake for love,particularly when there is an attractive latina involved.

Pete

[Cali James]

... in response to Generosity, posted by Pete E on Jan 3, 2004


Generousity is a great quality but when all is said and done, a person can't buy real love.  But the curious thing is that while money won't buy love it will most certainly buy sex, the shallow relationship or an unhapy marriage.  This is a universal truth and one not unique to Colombia or Latin America.

One problem I see in the pursuit of a foreign bride is that in many cases our wealth is so much greater than the women we pursue, it creates an imbalance in the relationship.  Women have their own unique qualities to help bring the relationship back in to balance for sure, but too often the man can use his wealth to control or manipulate a woman in ways that do not respect her dignity as a person.

[Pete E]

... in response to Generosity, posted by Cali James on Jan 3, 2004

James,
Yes,your right,generosity can get you used but it can also be used to try and control another person.That works pretty poorly.Even if you do it with love on your part.
And yes,Colombians in general,watch out.
And a whole lot less money buys sex in Colombia.My guess about 5-10% the US cost,low 2 figures for a high on the 10 scale girl.And easy to find.But its a shallow experience compared to love.Yes,we guys want sex alot,but most of us prefer it with some close feelings with the person,preferably love on the part of both partners.

Pete

Pete

[Cali James]

... in response to Re: Generosity, posted by Pete E on Jan 3, 2004

Hey Pete,

I wasn't thinking of your particular situation when I made my comments about gringos having more power in the relationship due to their superior financial position.    I was thinking more about the recent threads dealing with 'kept' women.

James

[Pete E]

... in response to Generosity, posted by Cali James on Jan 4, 2004

James,
I understand.We all have this power here but we use it in different ways.At least it gives us the power to get more attention and interest.But we have to be carefull we don't use it to buy ourselves trouble.

Pete

[Cali James]

... in response to Generosity, posted by Cali James on Jan 3, 2004


Pete,

When I had my four month spell in Colombia in 2000, people were always hitting me up for dollars as EVERYONE was in need of more. It was difficult for me to say no in the beginning but overtime I learned that when someone says they'll pay you back, 99 in 100 times they won't.  I also learned that what I thought was generousity was really me being manipulated and made a fool of.  

Some people are great at manipulating a person's good and generous nature.  Please don't allow yourself to be a target or manipulated by people who in the end don't have YOUR best interests at heart.  Hold on to what little money you have left while you're down there.  

Don't ever forget about the papaya.....

Take care buddy....James

[greg]

... in response to Generosity, posted by Pete E on Jan 3, 2004

Keep what you Posted in mind. As long as You put yourself first, then YOU shouldn't have a PLM with your next Latina. Glad to hear that you learned from your ERROR. YOUR correct She did nothing but USE you as a doormat to wipe Her feet on. Hope You get a Gem next time. Good Luck, your gonna need it. Later

[NW Jim]

... in response to Generosity, posted by Pete E on Jan 3, 2004

Somebody once said that Gratitude is the human emotion with the shortest duration; nor does it lead to love.

[Ralph]

... in response to Generosity, posted by Pete E on Jan 3, 2004

However, you might want to think about if getting a penthouse bachelor pad, and living large might attract the wrong types of fish. . . .maybe even sharks. I would suggest not taking anyone to the bachelor pad unless you are already somewhat serious or have zero plans to become serious.

Just think of how many women you can keep "kept" with your pension. . . . .

[charlieRSJ]

... in response to Generosity, posted by Pete E on Jan 3, 2004

This post resonanted with me in a mighty powerful way..jeez..almost like a large bell rung from way down deep inside me..wow.I spent the last year believing that I could eventually win the heart of this beautiful Romanian woman simply by being generous and kind and always there to help when she needed it.But im a living example of what Pete here describes in his post.Being overly generous to a woman from a economically depressed country...and thinking that she will go from appreciating this help you give to actually "loving" you..is a fools path.I now know.Pete is right in that what can happen(happened to me actually)..is that the woman can begin to resent the fact that you have made her dependent.And what you might have hoped would eventually turn into love..turns into a kind of ..love/hate.A love the money..hate the giver affair.of course the woman has to hide this resentment and usually does a pretty good job of it.Ill quote a famous poet here to drive the point home..."i cant make you love me...if you dont.I cant make your heart feel...something it wont"..Bonnie Rait..heh..anyway,you're right Pete.This is truely another sad way these things can turn..your post was a type of epiphany for me thanks dude Charlie