caution or be glad someone finds me interesti

[chevy]

I'm going to Bogota in a few weeks and have been writing some of the ladies. Most are very nice and show  interest in a meeting. One seems to have a crush one me. Me, a 49 year old dufus.
She is a 30 year old attorney.  I have not had a woman have a crush on me since high school. Is this the way some of them are: free with their emotions and quick to attach themselves to you?
 Or is she "too" interested in me, considering she never met me.
She writes me everyday.A short note, nothing overly mushy.She did say she thought I was wonderful. That concerned me. I'm not wonderful.
  I would rather have a woman realize I am at times a PIA yet still
want me and stay with me than have rose colored glasses on regarding me.Because eventually the glasses have to come off. So, am I a cynic or should I be grateful I am getting attention like I have not gotten in decades.

[DallasSteve2]

... in response to caution or be glad someone finds me inte..., posted by chevy on Dec 28, 2003

Chevy

Drop your negative self opinion.  If you're going to treat a woman good and love her, then you're a good catch.

Don't be impressed by long distance affection from a woman in Colombia that you've never met.  Most of these women know how to play this game.  You're a rookie.  She's an attorney.  She's no pushover.

You'll get lots of attention from women if you go to an agency in Bogota.  Take it all with a grain of salt and keep your eyes open for red flags.  There's a good woman there for you.  Don't be tricked by the wrong ones.

Steve

[pablo]

... in response to Long Distance Affection Is Very Cheap, posted by DallasSteve2 on Dec 28, 2003


Well said Steve,

Go in with a little confindence Chevy.  I almost guarantee you will return home with more than you took.

Be sure to post your impressions either there or once you get back.

Pablo

[Bueller]

... in response to Long Distance Affection Is Very Cheap, posted by DallasSteve2 on Dec 28, 2003

"You're a rookie. She's an attorney. She's no pushover."

 I wasn't going to jump on this initially, and it's not that you're looking for a pushover, but I'd be wary of getting involved with attorneys or law students. For me it's pretty much an automatic no-go, but you should at least consider what type of law she practices and what motivated her to pursue law. What a woman does all day for a living is going to affect what kind of wife she's going to be at home. Robert Ringer has gone to great lengths in his books to convince his readers to stay away from "Legalman" (whose philosophy can be summed up here: http://www.despair.com/consulting.html ), and from things I've observed in my own extended family and in the FSU, I would be very hesitant to get involved with "Legalwoman".

 Think about what typically motivates a young woman to want to be: a doctor. A veterinarian. A teacher. A nurse. Then think about what would motivate her to be a lawyer-- hey, it could be a very noble impulse like standing up for the poor and oppressed, but it's a question worth asking, right? I mean, what kind of billable hours can poor, oppressed people afford, anyway?

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: Lawyers, posted by Bueller on Dec 28, 2003

Robert Ringer(Winning Through Intimidation)has some funny
stories.One time he loses everything,is living in a rental
truck with his furniture.He is doing a deposition about his finances.They are asking where he is living.He tells them in a Rider truck."Can you spell that?" "Yes R I D E R."
He says legalman loses intest real fast when he finds there is no money.
However,if you ever need a lawyer,as in dealing with the
IRS,you develop more appreciation for them.

Pete

[Kiltboy1]

... in response to Re: Re: Lawyers, posted by Pete E on Dec 29, 2003

Hi Pete

I am familiar with the author.

Please relay a messege to Margui for me that i have tried everything i know to do to save my marrage to Claudia (Margui introduced us , and she was a personal fiend of Marguis), but i do not know what else to do . Margui knows the story of my wifes bizare behavior.

Tell her i will be down to Cali in febuary or march to meet with a lawyer to file the dvorce papers,although if she has any suggeston on how to save my marriage , i am all ears.  and will come by the agency and explain everyting that has happened to her.I would appreciate it Pete as a personal favor.

You can tell Margui it is Andy from North Carolina that is Married to Claudia.

Chao

[NightRaven]

... in response to Re: Lawyers, posted by Bueller on Dec 28, 2003

The site "http://www.despair.com/consulting.html " ROFLMAO repeatedly.

[NightRaven]

... in response to Re: Re: , posted by NightRaven on Dec 28, 2003

Actually, years ago I found a nice site by people who got their careers, lives totally screwed by getting their PHD's maybe I will send them the link.

[Bueller]

... in response to Re: Re: Cont, posted by NightRaven on Dec 28, 2003

I hadn't looked at the 2004 collection yet. Here's one that actually has a remote significance to this forum: http://www.despair.com/persistence.html . Now I'm ROTFL.

 OK, enough of Patrick's bandwith.

[pablo]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Cont, posted by Bueller on Dec 28, 2003


Hey B,

I sorta thought http://www.despair.com/ambition.html had some merit for those crash and burn trips. :-0

P

[NightRaven]

... in response to Long Distance Affection Is Very Cheap, posted by DallasSteve2 on Dec 28, 2003

"Drop your negative self opinion" Pay real close attention to that, he's right if you cant you only damage yourself and your chances to be happy with or without anyone.

"Don't be impressed by long distance affection from a woman in Colombia that you've never met. "

This is a nice tie-in for how things are different by culture and situation. The original post mentioned "little notes" on a consistant basis, forgetting about "motive" for a second.

In the US that would make most guys a bit "nervous" but its kind of light based on posts I have seen here.

I know plenty of women in the US that would very much like that kind of thing from a guy they where interested in because to them it is "proof" that you are thinking about them. The flip side is the negative aspects of the motive. IF I wanted to play some rich gringo and I wanted to keep options open. Sending out daily "Thinking of you" notes to a dozen guys would string them, not take much time, and leave me open to bail if I wanted to.
She could be smart enough to be working against the younger competition as well, shes not an 18 year old walking wet dream, but she has been in your mind every day for so much time prior to you meeting said dream and every thing said dream does to give you a negative feeling will eventually remind you of her "kindness/interest".

"Take it all with a grain of salt and keep your eyes open for red flags."
Thats the clincher, sure think it through, but FEEL your way through it mostly AS you are there. This whole thing is foriegn to you, prepare to be confused and overwhelmed and it wont be so bad.

The main advice I keep seeing OLD guys IMPLY to "US" NEW guys IS: "You are not ready, it is too foriegn for you to grasp right now, experience it w/o doing any major screw ups and you'll learn. P.S. Make sure to pick our brains for screw ups we already made."

[DallasSteve2]

... in response to Re: Long Distance Affection Is Very Chea..., posted by NightRaven on Dec 28, 2003

NightRaven

I hope I didn't sound arrogant with my "rookie" comment.  However, I was not ready for what I ran into on my first trip to Colombia and based on his post it sounds like he's heading the same direction.  I'd like to help him keep this in perspective because I have had some major screwups.

Steve

[NightRaven]

... in response to Re: Re: Long Distance Affection Is Very ..., posted by DallasSteve2 on Dec 28, 2003

"However, I was not ready for what I ran into on my first trip to Colombia and based on his post it sounds like he's heading the same direction. I'd like to help him keep this in perspective because I have had some major screwups."

Actually thats what I gathered from your posts and those of others(been archive hunting). My intended points where OLD guys = experienced with this, NEW guys = Not expereinced with this,  "US" = I am inexperienced in this method of wife hunting etc. as well but I do see patterns in the advice that other people seem to keep missing while they are new guys and then end up as an old guy trying to explain it to the next new guy who misses it too.

The imply thing was literal in that its not out and out said that way, in part because of how it might be taken. That is majorly valid as a concern because if any of us are serious about this then we are emotionally charged going in, being in or going back in. It is also not easy on you OLD guys because this thing is still in the try it out stage i.e. no classes etc. so the mistakes you can tell about are your own and lets face it hindsight is 20/20. My comment wasnt ment as a "they ream you out" thing (still missing how you felt it might be), it was ment as "they have been there already, they mean well and sometimes this is hard to see and say from either end".

I have NO problem with anyone giving anyone else esp. us New guys, logical advice on slowing down a bit. How many of us as new, now or then, spent a long time dealing with AW bs trying to make things work? Reached the "screw it its impossible" point, then started to get a little hope again? We are looking elsewhere because we are looking for what aint here. Still its a shocker when/if you find it and odds are good we will get carried away, so damage control is vital.

[wizard]

... in response to caution or be glad someone finds me inte..., posted by chevy on Dec 28, 2003

Chevy:

Congrats on finally climbing down off the fence and making your first trip...

Careful though... You will find that the amount of attention you receive from multiple women can be intoxicating... The kid in the candy store thing... I think we have ALL been there at one point... The attention you receive will bolster your ego and make you feel like a million bucks... After the first trip the hardest part will be which girl to focus your attentions...

I guarantee that this won't be your last trip... Once you have experienced the affection of a latina, there is no going back to AW...

Mark

[zack]

... in response to caution or be glad someone finds me inte..., posted by chevy on Dec 28, 2003

Hi Chevy,

I'm glad you decided to go despite the heat from family and friends.

Be grateful that she is showing you so much attention. Compared to the Colombian machistas that they are used to, you probably are wonderful to her.

Good luck and give us a trip report.

Zack