... in response to Sex and Jealousy, posted by DallasSteve2 on Dec 17, 2003As for the gifts I think most of the guys are overplaying the significance of this. And you got the right attitude under the circumstances. A girl does not have to be giving signals to be receiving gifts. In most cases they are giving the “I am not interested” signal. The problem is most guys can’t read signals. Have you ever watched the dating shows where the girl is making it very clear with her clues to the guy that she does not like her blind date. At the end of the show she tell this to the viewers, “I would never go out with this guy even if he was the last guy on earth.” When they interview the guy he says, “Wow, I really liked her, I can’t wait to go out with her again.” Most guys are clueless. I even deal with this in business where I have to tell the guy not to buy a gift yet or don’t see just this one girl because I know more about how the girl feels about the guy than he knows.
As for phone numbers any good looking woman is going to be propositioned and given phone numbers. Karina says thank you and than throws the number in the trash. Good looking women have learned that saying no often leads to the man getting angry or pushing harder or being mean. So their best exit is to accept and trash.
At the same time many of these foreign women are naïve and think the guy is just being friendly. We know this is not the case. Karina was telling me how this guy in her English school was giving her so much attention and always asking if he can do this and that for her and writing her notes that she would show me. I told her this guy likes you more than just a friend but she said no he is just a friend and does not have such interest. Well one day when she was with all her friends he proposed his love for her. Afterwards she told me she could not believe this even though I had warned her this was where it was going and what men’s true intentions are. Only after this did she tell the guy they could no longer be friends and that she would no longer talk to him even though he repeatedly tried to apologize. Some lessons have to be learned first hand.
Is her English teacher Latin? I have also learned that most Latin men do not respect another man’s marriage. It is hard for many American Latin men to understand why a Latina would date a white man. Prior to my marriage I went out with a lot of American Latinas. We would sometimes double date with other Latin couples that were friends with my girl and even thought the guys were outwardly friendly with me, when alone with my woman they would always ask her why she was dating a white man and not a Latin man. They would respond back in friendly way, but in private they would tell me they would never go out with a Latin man. Machismo blinds the Latin man.
Karina’s mom still gets love letters for Karina from Colombian men from her University she never dated or had an interest in. They know she is married they know she is out of the country yet they feel an expression of their love is all they need to get the woman. I’ve notice the same thing in many successful men that are use to getting what they want so attempting to get a married woman is just another challenge, even though they themselves are married.
You actually brought up many issues that don’t have any quick and easy answers. As for some of your feedback I would not be listening to any guys without a good looking woman telling you how you should treat one. Most of these Latin women are “feelings” oriented play to this level in romance but don’t do so by playing games back. If you continue to be mature and responsible and fair it will hopefully rub off. Never flip the coin on her it can be a detrimental victory. You have the right belief,
“if she wants to be with another man I don't want her to be with me.”
I agree.
So tomorrow how about getting her an inexpensive surprise gift it is well worth the small effort and I am going to do the same.
