lai

[chevy]

I feel like Im wasting my time and $$ by joining lai. I write the ladies, they write back, I write back and then never hear from them
again. 20-30 women. Something is not right.

[Onephd]

... in response to lai, posted by chevy on Dec 18, 2003

Just follow the advice I gave you before and the advice of those that responded to the post.  All make valid sense. the women in Bogota work like crazy. If you use the email to make contact, tell them that you coming on x date, let them know you want to meet them.  Have the agency make an arrangment immediately after you send the 2nd email. Then the women know you are serious.  Trust me you are not wasting your time or money.  In fact you should feel more motivated to go now that you have invested some money.  You have two good agencies in Bogota and you can find someone very nice in either or both of them. If you like, drop me a line today ASAP.

[wizard]

... in response to lai, posted by chevy on Dec 18, 2003

You just ruled out 20-30 women that may have become the future Mrs. Chevy...

As others indicated, trying to start a relationship by  letter/email alone is hit and miss... Some have the time and patience to see it through, but it's difficult... Even after meeting someone it's hard to hold a long distance relationship together by letter/email alone... I'm not saying it doesn't work, just tough...

My wife received stacks of snail mail and hundreds of emails... It got tedious just trying to keep up with the correspondence... Especially when none of the men ever came to visit... Then there were the letters from the "lunatic fringe", the religious zealots and the guys so ugly that their Mom's had to tie the proverbial pork chop around their neck just to get the dog to play with them... After awhile she would just toss the letters and scan the emails... She got tired of trying to be excited about someone she would probably never meet...

Then there's the scenario where you spend countless hours writing to someone, establishing a rapport... Then when you finally meet them, you know in the first 5 minutes that there is no chemistry...

IMHO, sending a couple emails prior to making a trip is a good idea... When you write, tell the ladies WHEN you plan on travelling to LA... This usually gets their attention... They will conclude that they are not wasting time on someone has trouble getting up the nerve to go to the beach, much less travel to another country...

Personally, I've tried lots of different techniques for meeting women... Don't claim to be an expert by any means... Sometimes you just gotta be lucky... The trip I met my wife, I didn't write a single letter/email... Just got on the plane and went... I'm sure glad I did...

Bottom line... Just GO... Once you do, your perspective will change completely... You will understand... No words can describe the experience...

Mark

[MarkNJ]

... in response to lai, posted by chevy on Dec 18, 2003

I have used the services of LAI in the past and have found them to be a very reputable agency.    From my perspective and how I have used the email correspondence service that they have is to send to several of the woman you have an interest in a message that you will be visiting soon and would like to meet them.   Have them view your profile and if they continue to have an interest set some appointments for when you arrive.    The one thing that I have learned is that just because you have an interest in a woman does not mean that she is going to have an interest in you.    We all have different tastes.    I used my first email message to confirm some basic information such as what are the expectations of the woman, does she have children or want children in the future,  is she going to be comfortable if the man already has children, does she want to maintain her career, is she a smoker, etc…   Many of these women get called down to the agency to meet with the various men who want to have an introduction with them and these woman never had a chance to view your profile.    I do not expect every woman that I have an interest in to have an interest in me so if I give them the opportunity to first view my profile at their convenience and they have no further interest, when I arrive at the agency I am ahead of the game by not wasting my time in setting up an appointment with them.
Another issue is that many of these women do not have regular internet access.   Some have the internet at home and some have access at work but many women have to go to the various internet cafes.   Most of these women are also working 6 days a week so it is going to take several days for the woman to get back to you if her only access is the café.
All of the women I did meet at the agency were very friendly and they all gave me their telephone numbers and email addresses when I asked for it.       If you are searching for email correspondence you might want to check out AMIGOS.COM or MATCH.COM there are plenty of Latin ladies there who are into the internet scene.    If you want to actually meet some wonderful women write a letter of introduction a few weeks before you go and travel down to Colombia.   The biggest mistake that I made was to sit on the fence for two years before I went down.   I have been to Colombia several times in the past year,  was in Bogota this past November and I will be heading back to Bogota in a few weeks…  I am one happy man…

[cancunhound]

... in response to lai, posted by chevy on Dec 18, 2003

While I concur with the other posters - just get down there in person, some correspondence upfront can be very beneficial IMHO if done properly.  It's slower, but much better to utilize good ole' fashioned snail mail to accomplish that.  Handwritten, photos attached, personally signed, etc..   There's nothing more impersonal than e-mail.  There's now even a service offering virtual flowers - good luck with that!

Speaking of snail-mail, we still receive letters that are addressed to a Caleña that was staying with us some time ago.  She had signed up with one of the big mail order latin bride outfits - her picture was so appealing I doubt she'll ever be removed from the catalogue mailers.  Anyway, this one nutcase sends a doozy the other day - he had handwritten out a several page form letter (off size paper), then copied it onto regular white paper and cut it down to size.  It was a pretty good job - I had to look close where he had personalized the letter with her name in black ink.  Scary part was the content - this nut was a religious basketcase, and the requests contained therein were hilarious but scary.  He requested some pretty unusual stuff from her - like one recent photo of her in a skirt among other things.  Come to think of it, I probably should see if we still have it and forward his address to his police jurisdiction - this guy spelled murder waiting to happen.  - Just food for thought, you get the idea of what correspondence some of these gals are getting.

-CaliGringo.com

[lswote]

... in response to lai, posted by chevy on Dec 18, 2003

What isn't right is that you are looking in the wrong place to use email to find someone.  I never used the email approach but I know some people say it is doable.  But LAI is not the place to do it.  LAI is really a premium service agency that in my opinion does a really good job of giving people who don't know the ropes in Colombia a shot at meeting someone they will truly like and who will truly like them in return.  But I don't think their email service is their strong suit, but rather something they offer to compliment their other services.  If you want to look using email, use someone else.  If you want to MEET some good women in a positive atmosphere, use LAI.

[roadken]

... in response to lai, posted by chevy on Dec 18, 2003

Guys,e-mailing is okay but to be successfull at this you have to GO there.Many of the girls do not have a phone or a computer.Many times when I have stayed at LAI,the girls would be there checking there e-mail and sending leters,etc.Occassionaly, a guy will get lucky and strike gold off of a photot and phone calls but most guys are dissappointed with approach IMHO.Also,many of of the girls look different in person and it is impossible to get a feel for there personalities and especially their character.Please take my word for it when I say there "waters" are not "overfished".One of the hardest parts of Colombia is finally choosing only one woman because there are sooooo many beautiful sweet women.Once you have felt their warmth nothing else matters.

[A1A]

... in response to lai, posted by chevy on Dec 18, 2003

chevy,
A year or so ago I got the internet membership and personal listing on the LAI site hoping I might get an email or 2, there is no charge, so why not?  I received 4-5 unsolicited emails from women, nothing panned out.  Two weeks ago, I received one from an older woman (42, I just turned 50) and got some interesting insights on her point of view on LAI and american men.  
 It seems LAI is not totally up front with the women about what they can and can't do with the email service, she doesn't like that.  She went to the LAI Thanksgiving dinner party they had during their Thanksgiving tour.  She was bugged that LAI charged the women for dinner.  About her view on the american men there, evidently she did not get a lot of attention, to paraphrase her, the men were only interested in the young beautiful women.  Sorry, I would have been guilty of that too.  
 I have been emailing her every few days, she is an attractive woman, slim, fluent english, no kids, probably a 7, but english and no kids helps alot.  If she was here in the US, men would be no problem.
 H@ll, keep trying, it only takes one, and it could be the next one.
A1A

[HeyNow]

... in response to Re: lai, posted by A1A on Dec 19, 2003

What exactly did you mean by that? It seems LAI is not totally up front with the women about what they can and can't do with the email service, she doesn't like that
What cAn they and can't they do?  Inquiring minds want to know.

[Onephd]

... in response to Re: Re: lai, posted by HeyNow on Dec 19, 2003

ONE thing they can't do is give you their telephone number, email or address even if they desire. The only exception is if the male is an executive member.

[HeyNow]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: lai, posted by Onephd on Dec 19, 2003

I don't think that is possible even if the gringo is an executive member.  Nelson, help us out here.

[A1A]

... in response to Re: Re: lai, posted by HeyNow on Dec 19, 2003

She was not told that she could not give out her email address or phone number, maybe the person at the desk that signed her up forgot to tell her.  When she writes her email address, it is removed an replaced with xxx.  She described her email address in a sentence to me, so now I can write to her personal email and she can go to a local internet cafe, instead of going to LAI.  
A1A

[mudd]

... in response to lai, posted by chevy on Dec 18, 2003

well, you got to understand that colombia for the most part, is an over fished  market, so to speak. the girls just aren't that hungry, too many gringos to chooses from. either try just going down there and see how you do, i myself wouldnt right now, a little too dangerous for me, or try a diffrent market, peru, brazil ect where their are less men heading down.

[Freddie]

... in response to Re: lai, posted by mudd on Dec 19, 2003

[This message has been edited by Freddie]

This is what I've gathered from my wife as far as trying to start a relationship via email or letters.

When my wife first joined an introduction service in Cali in 1996 she got A LOT of mail (no email, no computer). She answered a few but then it became too much trouble to keep up with it. She figured that if the guys were really interested they would come to Cali. Plus she had so many opportunities to meet guys she didn't have to concern herself with letters.

Also when there are guys in Cali and they have the huge cattle calls of girls there are never enough guys to go around so the girls get bored or discouraged.

Of course most of the guys have that kid-in-a-candy-store look in their eyes (either that or a shark in a feeding frenzy) and the girls who are anything less than a '9' get lost in the shuffle of beautiful faces and hot-looking women.

Now keep in mind. YOU go there for the first time and you think you've found nirvana. The girls go to those this dog-and-pony shows a few times and realize what a waste of time it becomes. It is humiliating and frustrating for them. They don't show much interest and don't bother to go back.

My point to all of this is IF YOU'RE GOING FISHING YOU HAVE TO GO WHERE THE FISH ARE!

As for the danger, don't let that discourage you. The larger cities in Colombia are really no more dangerous than large cities in the USA.

You have to keep your wits about you. For the most part you will be with other gringos or Colombianas who know what's going on and which areas to avoid.

Do you really think the FARC or ELN is waiting at Chipi Chape mall to kidnap some love-starved gringo? They want someone who might be worth something to someone to pay to get them back. They plan these abductions over time.

As for bombings. Be wary of large gatherings of people, especially where lots of gringos hang out. And stay away from police stations or other government-type buildings.

Cali is not a tourist town so there aren't any true gringo establishments there anyway.

The 8 backpackers that were kidnapped by ELN earlier this year were in the wrong place at the wrong time. They were tramping through the mountains, not in a city. The ELN saw that as an opportunity that came to them. Of course it really hasn't paid off for them and might not in the future.

So again I say GO! The only thing that will happen if you don't is NADA. If you're currently not happy with your personal situation do something about it.

One word of warning. If you have never been to Latin America and met the ladies there, I'm telling you right now to be prepared. Life as you know it in America will never be the same.

You will suddenly realize what all the other guys have been saying about the warmth and charm and beauty of the ladies is true. You will return home depressed and will probably have even more disdain for the average American woman.

But, you might return home with an entirely new outlook on life. You might feel 10-20 years younger and feel like you've begun a journey that, up until then, you had only dreamed was possible.

The possibilities are endless. But you have to get off your fat mattress and go in order to find out.

Before you go pick up some basic Spanish. It's easy and fun and will make a world of difference when you get there.

Happy Hunting!

[A1A]

... in response to Let me add something here., posted by Freddie on Dec 19, 2003

You definitly have to go meet them!  I especially liked your line about after meeting and spending time with a latina, on return home it may increase your disdain for the average american women.  D@mn true! I work in a large hospital, over 2000 employees, the majority are women.  When these 25 lb. overweight AW's pass in the hall and smile and say hello, I just bite my lip and think about latinas I have known and future possibilities. I'm only writing to kill time until my trip south in February.
A1A