Crazy jealous Latina wife stories

[Freddie]

... in response to Re: Crazy jealous Latina wife stories, posted by CaliAdvisor on Dec 9, 2003

While my wife isn't as extreme as DallasSteve's (mine acutally calls me into the living room to see babes on Univision) but she is fiercely jealous and admits getting a little crazy.

I won't go into details what set this latest episode off but all I can do is keep telling her there is no other woman, I'm not looking for another woman and I have no email or phone number for another woman.

The hard part is proving THERE ISN'T ANOTHER WOMAN!

How in the heck could there even BE another woman? I spent all my time either at work or at home. In 3 1/2 years of marriage I've only been out without her many 6 times and those were usually to a ball game where I came home right after.

This past weekend we went through all 4 of my email accounts and went over every incoming, sent and deleted email. That was only a mild comfort.

It's pretty hard to prove something that doesn't exist.

The really bad part is I'm no great value in the husband department anyway. She could have almost any man she wanted. I guess I should get down on my knees everynight and thank God for having her in my life but it's fine line between being alone and unhappy and having a younger, beautiful wife who is driving you crazy with combination of jealousy, being self-centered, unreasonable and stubborn.

She and I have gone 'round and 'round almost monthly for at least 2 years about her attitude and tendancy to 'go off' about the most minor of things.

It doesn't even have to be the "other woman" issue. It can be ANYTHING that doesn't suit her at that moment. Fortunately she gets over it but this cycle of Bad Attitude/Fight/Being Mad/Discussion/Repenting/ Forgiveness/Happy Home/Bad Attitude/Fight etc. is getting to be more trouble than it's worth.

Be forewarned, Gentleman, this is often the life when marrying a younger,  attractive Latin woman. The passion they have permiates all areas of their being. You just have to take the good with the bad, I guess.

[moam]

... in response to CaliAdvisor - It isn't that easy., posted by Freddie on Dec 9, 2003

Freddie,
Both you and Steve are patient men, this would litterly drive me nuts. Not that I don't have patience, one can expect a certain amount of reasonable jealousy, but out-of-control and unprovoked jealousy says more about ones own insecurity rather than  how much love the jealous party has for the object of that jealousy.
That is such a negative emotion that tends to get worst before it gets better, not to mention all of the effort and time spent dealing with that monster. A great body and a beautiful face is what most of us(men)seek, but give me personality and temperment as well. And I know that this doesn't rear its ugly head until well past the point of commitment in most cases, still doesn't make it any easier to deal with.

Think I will stay single a little longer!

PS. You guys are champs!

[CaliAdvisor]

... in response to CaliAdvisor - It isn't that easy., posted by Freddie on Dec 9, 2003

I understand your dilema. But as someone who knows a ton of latin women and has dated many of them (I am currently in a serious relationship with a younger Caleña) let me give you some advice. I often ask myself, why is it that I only see Caleña's exhibit this type of behavior with gringos? I don't see them pulling this type of stuff with latin men. In fact, I often see the opposite behavior, the man is the one who is difficult and the women the one who puts up with the crap. Most latin men treat there women as another peice of their property.

Now you don't necesarilly need to take it that far, BUT YOU NEED TO REALIZE THAT YOUR LACK OF JEALOUS OR POSSESIVE BEHAVIOR MIGHT BE GETTING MISINTERPRETED BY HER. If you dont act jealous and possesive she might think that you don't really care that much and you've got someone else on the side.

I often have to tell my girlfriend what to do. If I pick her up and I dont like what she is wearing, I tell her to go back inside and put something else on. If the new outfit is no good, I tell her to change again or I go inside and just pick out the clothes for her. You might think this would frustrate her. Well just the oposite, she loves it. Because it shows her that I care and it also shows that while she may be confused at times about what is the apropriate thing to do, she can count on me to have the answers. This is very reashuring for her.

[Jersey Mike]

... in response to Re: CaliAdvisor - It isn't that easy., posted by CaliAdvisor on Dec 9, 2003

I had a long-term Brazilian girlfriend who was incredibly jealous.  On the other hand, my natural inclination is not to be very jealous.  You are right - she interpreted my lack of jealosy as a lack of affection and passion for her.

It seems that latinas want their men to show some jealosy towards them.  I would bet that when they are talking with their latina friends, they complain/brag about whose man is more jealous.  It is part of the culture, and jealosy does not carry the same negative stigma that it does among some other cultures.  To a latina, some jealosy from you shows her you still care about her.

[Freddie]

... in response to Re: CaliAdvisor - It isn't that easy., posted by CaliAdvisor on Dec 9, 2003

Trust me, I've played this game before (married twice to AW). I've even been classified as a moderate "hard ass" as it pertains to women.

But as I get older (I'm 50) I'm losing my desire to "play this game" and I long for a "mas tranquillo" home life.

I can play the macho role or the sweet, romantic role. I just want her to drop some of the drama and begin to mature (she's 31 going on 18 sometimes).

Fortunately I've never had to raise a teenage girl but I'm sure it's similar to this.

I keep a pretty firm grasp on things but there is a limit as to how far even I can go. She has her Latin girlfriends and you know how they all talk and compare notes.

The thing you must keep in mind is she really has nothing to lose. She came here with 1 suitcase NOTHING MORE! Now she has a Green Card, a job, her clothes, her car, her gold cards and her name is on my mortgage.

I've lost it all before (twice) and it wouldn't phase me too much if I lost it all again but I just don't want to live like this. It's either get with the program or get out and I've told her such. Then she swears her undying love and devotion to me and we start the cycle again.

Keep in mind, mi amigo, I ain't no stud like you and I don't spend the majority of my time in Latin America or the haunts of the young and famous in the U.S.

BUT, if she decides to leave, and I'll send her off with my blessing, I'll be right back in the swing of things whether it is in Cali, San Jose, Rio, Angeles City or Bangkok.

Life is for living and this little bump in the road won't keep me from tapping my toes to the beat.

[moam]

... in response to Yes, I agree., posted by Freddie on Dec 9, 2003

Freddie, that is the right attitude!!! When one determines that THE BUCK STOPS HERE, it usually does. People will get away with as much as they are allowed, even in a marriage.
CaliAdvisor has a point when he spoke of how men and women behave in relationships in SA, when more men in the US  worry less about what they will lose and remember to reach down and grab'em, then women here will adjust their rotten attitude. Nice guys really do finish last, there is a big difference between Ahole, sucker/doormat, and being a man.

Freddie you don't listen to Tom Lykes, do you?

[Freddie]

... in response to Re: Yes, I agree., posted by moam on Dec 10, 2003

Who is he? Singer, poet, activist, NPR talking head?

I pretty much march to my own drummer.

For those of you scoring at home I think we got things worked out, AGAIN. We'll see how long it lasts this time.

[HeyNow]

... in response to Tom Lykes? Never heard of him., posted by Freddie on Dec 10, 2003

Freddie I think you got it right with "NPR talking head"

[mar33]

... in response to Yes, I agree., posted by Freddie on Dec 9, 2003

[This message has been edited by mar33]

Sorry to hear about this situation Fred. I hope it works out in the long run.
   But if you do decide to look elsewhere in the future, try the Philippines. Most of the ladies are fluent in English and calm. Some of the ladies I see down there are gorgeous. I saw a girl there last time I visisted who was married to an Australian jerk in his 60's. This girl was definately a mix and of supermodel looks. 24 years old,About 5'7", fluent in English. My fiance is also a sweetheart.
    No disrespect to the latin board(I like this board because there is action:)

[greg]

... in response to CaliAdvisor - It isn't that easy., posted by Freddie on Dec 9, 2003

isn't worth it. I rather be alone. Maybe it's time YOU put YOUR foot down.