Cali report 3

[markxport]

... in response to Re: Got to get out of this f- -king situ..., posted by MJR on Dec 2, 2003

Hello MJR,

I think if you had been around awhile you know Pete better than that.  Pete has shared a great deal about his relationship, and prehaps you've only read the post regarding his financial hit.

Take care,

Mark

[markxport]

... in response to Got to get out of this f- -king situatio..., posted by Pete E on Dec 2, 2003

Hi Pete,

Sorry for what your going through!  I said this before, and I know it's your decision, but you should sell the house now!  You don't owe her anything and no point in screwing up your credit! Obviously, she has no respect for what you've done for her and her son.  Kick her to the curb and let her wait for Don Juan come running to pick her up.  I'm willing to bet he doesn't and she has to go to her friends.  Then reality will really set in for her.

Take care and best wishes,

Mark

[Cherinha]

... in response to I feel for you....., posted by markxport on Dec 2, 2003

[This message has been edited by Cherinha]

I wish you luck on your new road bound for happiness!!!!

[Pete E]

... in response to Agreed... with only seeing this side of ..., posted by Cherinha on Dec 2, 2003

Cheryl,
I would even like to know what the other side ofthe story is.I get no imformation from her at all.I have to guess.Only recently did she admit she has no romantic feelings for me and is not attracted to me.I had to drag that out of her,she would deny it before.Other than that I know she hates it if I raise my voice and for me to post anything about us here.shedoes talk to her girlfriends.I think her story to them is rational to not admit the truth,she married someone she didn't love to come here.

Pete

[pablo]

... in response to Agreed... with only seeing this side of ..., posted by Cherinha on Dec 2, 2003

[This message has been edited by pablo]

[Cherinha]

... in response to Agreed... with only seeing this side of ..., posted by Cherinha on Dec 2, 2003

.

[Pete E]

... in response to I feel for you....., posted by markxport on Dec 2, 2003

Mark,
If there was any equity in this house I could sell it.But basically I owe about whats its worth so with selling costs I would either have to put money in it to sell it or get the lender to accept a "short sale" where they accept less than whats owed them.In the meantime I would be in this situation for months.I'm actually glad there is no financial sense in trying to sell it because it would tie me down here longer.Her getting to stay is an indirect benefit to her.It costs me nothing.I could just deed it back to the bank now,but even after all she has done I wouldn't want to purposely try to hurt her.She can stay about 6 months before they boot her.Her english teacher told me to try to set it up so my step son didn't have to change schools mid year.He said his parents divorced when he was about Sebastians age and it was devistating,particularly being out of the house they lived in and thrown in to a new school mid year.
Over 3 years ago we had a blow up and I told her I was  sending her back.I even had a letter translated to her telling I wanted her to go home and really think about it and if she couldn't have a whole different attitude about the marriage we would divorce.At that time I had about $200,000 equity in the house and $70,000 in the bank.For three more years I just kept refinancing and feeding my money back in to our lifestyle and the house.I also lost about $50,000 and who knows how much Real estate income I could have made trying to be a stock trader.I relented about sending her back and we went in to counsoling with the dunce of the world bi lingual counsoler.It took her 2 1/2 years (Seeing her off and on) to get the truth out of Rocio,which I knew all along.I let some would be proffesional talk me out of or stop me from taking action on what my gut feelings,which proved to be right on,told me.Patience,which alot of people recommended,cost me big time.How stupid.I knew better all along.
Of course even if she had gone back to Cali,she would have conned me in to letting her come back and would have done just what she did,do the minimum she could to keep it together untill she got what she wanted.
But I allowed it to happen.I did it to me in effect by allowing it.So its my responsibility.
Now I just want out.4 days to go.And lots to do,I better get with it here.

Pete

[CaliAdvisor]

... in response to Re: I feel for you....., posted by Pete E on Dec 2, 2003

I hate to say it Pete, but it seems as if the only person that this makes any sense at all to is YOU.

You should get as much money for this house as you can before leaving town. This plan of yours only makes sense to you because you are so desperate to get out to the rest of us, it sounds nuts.

[Ralph]

... in response to Re: I feel for you....., posted by Pete E on Dec 2, 2003

In answer to one of my posts below you raved about Cali having hotter women with more of a desire to marry girngos. I can see that being an advantage to someone on a limited schedule. You are going to have plenty of time.

Why would you prefer a woman that ahs decided to marry a gringo rather than a woman that decides she wants to marry YOU. Sure it is harder meeting women that haven't already decided to Marry a gringo, but most things that are worthwhile are not easy.

Your ex had decided to marry a gringo. You were a gringo. She NEVER decided she wanted you. She was "in love" with the idea of marrying a gringo, not in love with you.

If I was single and retiring to LA, I would sure take a different approach. I might live in Cali,since you seem to have firends there, but I would not look at penthouse apartments and living large. I'd rather live "ok" and travel to a bunch of cities and countries throughout LA. Meet people, enjoy life. The chances are you would find someone that wants you, not just a gringo.

You could probably take a trip per month, stay 3 weeks in a a city and go back home to "cali" for a week etc. The chances of meeting a woman that wants you would be greater.

Living large in cali could be cool if ya want to be a player, and there is nothing wrong with that. If you do decide to settle down, I hope you think things through a bit more. With the "bait" you are planning to use, don't be surprised if you catch a similar "fish".

Expecting your wife to be thankful for all the material things you provided might make sense to you, but in reality women resent staying in a relationship with someone they don't love just because he has provided things and made her life better.

[cassius]

... in response to Pete, read what you wrote, posted by Ralph on Dec 2, 2003

a few guys have been trying to give pete this sort of advice.

that he should shelve all that 'cali agency beauty' drama and just try to enjoy LA like a personal adventure. just use the new sights and sounds to refresh himself - to refocus himself on the positives of his life.

pete, instead seems like by going to agencies and 'other' activities you're just looking for new ways to spend on women.

how many lunches, dinners, drinks, clubs and day trips will you have to pay for in the next few months?

how about a nice quiet lunch on a site in the andes overlooking a range? wouldn't that do more for your peace and heart?

[Ralph]

... in response to good stuff, posted by cassius on Dec 3, 2003

Plus he wants to get a luxury "bachelor pad". That is baiting the hook with the wrond bait. He will once again be, intentionally or not, trying to impress the ladies with material things and an improved lifestyle. When you do that you  do that, rather than finding someone that is really in love with you, you tend to attract women wanting to improve their lifestyle.

[Pete E]

... in response to Pete, read what you wrote, posted by Ralph on Dec 2, 2003

Your absolutely right.She even admitted to her friend she wanted to come to the US,not to marry a gringo.But the 2 went hand in hand.And yes,she got very resenfull.She didn't like the situation she chose for herself.
Its really my fault for not taking the time to know her better.
And her friends say "Rocio would never do that,marry someone just to come here." Thats exactly what she did.Maybe she also hoped it would work between us,but quickly gave up trying on that.Her heart was never in it.She never loved me.
I just want to have fun untill I meet someone that can love me like I loved my wife.And theres no hurry if I am living there.
And she got what she wanted.She is here.What she hasn't figured out yet is how tough it is to make it here with the money she can make.Her money has just been play money so far.

Pete

[CaliAdvisor]

... in response to Re: Pete, read what you wrote, posted by Pete E on Dec 2, 2003

I would take his advice Pete and do some traveling. Without speaking spanish, and without working, you are gonna get bored pretty fast in Cali.

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: Re: Pete, read what you wrote, posted by CaliAdvisor on Dec 3, 2003

First things first.I will have to learn spanish now.I told my wife since we were living in the US she had to learn english.Now that I will be living in latin America I will need to learn spanish.
I would like to travel around South America.We will see.

Pete

[Fuzzyone]

... in response to Re: I feel for you....., posted by Pete E on Dec 2, 2003

Pete I went throu the same thing except I said to heck with a marriage
counslor. She was never going to stop what she was doing no matter
what. I licked her *ss to the curb. She moved in with a girlfriend and I
think she want to just get out of the marriage as much as I want. Her
I751 has not come back, vermont is way behind I mean way behind so
she will have to talk to a lawyer for immagrations on her own. Me? I
could careless about her she made my life a terrible nightmare that
finally is done put a stake in it.