Question to Dalls Steve & Fuzzyone

[Zorrowins]

[This message has been edited by Zorrowins]

OK you both had latina wifes who cheated and several comments have been made about the latina jealousy. So I basically have two questions, both of which I know I've already asked(Zack), but I'm interested in your response! I'm starting with a presumed fact-The Latina is not in great demand by males in LA. The Latina is in great demand by males in the USA. So with years of conditioning it would be normal for the Latina to be jealous of other females since in her mind other females would "steal" her man in a flash! Secondly, she moves here and is now a "hot" commodity-a totally new and flattering experience for her. Younger, handsomer, and richer males than you or me now "want" her. So now she fights temptations she's never faced before. Agree or disagree?

[Fuzzyone]

... in response to Question to Dalls Steve & Fuzzyone, posted by Zorrowins on Dec 7, 2003

Zorrowins

 This is how I feel about the subject because I have been on both sides
of this. My wife was from Peru... When I came too see her I had already
wrote and called here for about 6 months. I saw somethings that were
wrong but I wanted to wait until I met her to see. I knew that she was
writing alot of different men so I knew I had to win her heart when I saw
her. Well I thought when I left that I won her heart, I did not she did not
follow thru on her promises. I was not much of a man because if I gave
her the heave ho then I would not have gone thru these problems now. I
feel in my heart that she tried to love me but it was not in the cards. She
acted jealous aobut otheer woman but she acted like a 15 year old girl.
When she got made at me she would do something to get revenge on
me. Write some other man ect. She was not writing any males in this
area. In fact she really had no feelings for men around here. This is what
she did tell me when I finally lowered the boom on her " I am always
looking for something better". Well get this the man she had the affair
with has not had a job for two years.... Now I think she really found
something better.

[Jeff S]

... in response to Question to Dalls Steve & Fuzzyone, posted by Zorrowins on Dec 7, 2003

... women simply don't make decisions about love based on statistics and logic. They operate on "feelings." The men on this board are always asking what the numerical chances are that this or that or something else will happen. Women "feel." If she truly loves you and you continue to make her feel special and loved and appreciated, she'll stick with you through thick and thin, no matter if you're 400 lbs and bald, or if you look like you just walked out of the pages of GQ. Don't, and her eye will wander - not like yours to the hottest body - but to the man she percieves will give her those things.  If you think she'll weigh her relative demand to the marketplace, evaluate the relative risk, bla bla bla ... you're thinking like a guy shopping for a car, not a women in love.

If you believe your young hot Latina will be dripping every time she sees a hot young stud, better either get plastic surgery, liposuction, hair transplants and take those secret herbs guaranteed to add three inches (see your e-mail box for more details.) That or don't marry her.

Just my 2 cents worth.

- Jeff

[mar33]

... in response to You're looking at it in all the wrong wa..., posted by Jeff S on Dec 8, 2003

Unfortunately I think women are much more complicated than that. Most of the men on this board have probably treated women they loved in the very way you stated.If treating a woman like gold guarenteed she would stay, then love would be very simple,and 90% of us would be happy.
  But realistically, women are as fussy as men in their own way. Also, most o the women I have spoken to who do not care about a man's physical appearance have always been the ones (as you dig futher ) that admits she does not like or care about sex. 75% of divorce is initiated by women. Men are the very last ones to know their marriage is going bad.
  Also, women are much more visual than most claim. Test after test have noted though women say they are not attracted to looks the way men are. Their brain reacts in the same way when they are shown pictures of attractive men as men are when shown pictures of attractive women.Women are more accepting than we are. More realistic in what they can get.
   You have a good point though. If you have to question whether or not your woman will fall for the first rich or hot guy, she does not love you. Also if you need to question in any way whether she is hot for you, leave. None of us want to be in a situation like Pete(sorry to use you as an example Pete) when sex happens 10 times a year.

[Jeff S]

... in response to Re: You're looking at it in all the wron..., posted by mar33 on Dec 8, 2003

I agree with you if you're talking about liberated single American women - yes they're after a hot body, just like they have an "anything you can do I can do better" attitude, and an "a women needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle" Gloria Steinham outlook on life. To paraphrase Eliot Gould in the movie "Getting Straight (about 1969.) "they're not women, they're guys - with a hole in the middle." The "sex in the city" modern AW isn't what most of us are after, and there are plenty of sincere ladies who are more after a good man than a good lay. I've just seen too many great looking ladies madly in love with dorky looking guys (my own marriage included.) Sure, my wife would like me to dress like the fab five made me over, and sure she'd like to see me drop a few (dozen) pounds, but she sure isn't going to start having affairs if I don't. (yes, she's still plenty interested in sex, too.) She saw way too much turmoil in her parents lives as her father had a girlfriend on the side - she also compares our relationship and lifestyle with her friends (some richer than us, some poorer) and wouldn't trade places with any one of them.

- Jeff

[valuedcustomer]

... in response to Re: Re: You're looking at it in all the ..., posted by Jeff S on Dec 8, 2003

I agree with you.  I had a conversation with my novia and she told me that in the past she had very good looking novias and not so good looking ones and she doesn’t care about looks.  She said she only looks at the heart.  My novia is young, beautiful, and sexy and could get any man she wants in Colombia.  She could also easily get a young American or Canadian man tomorrow, because there are many Americans and Canadians currently working and living in Bogotá making good money and she has friends.  She is still loyal to me even though I have made her wait two years and I am only now preparing to file the Visa.  You have to really look at every woman as an individual and find out her personality and character and what she is looking for.  You can get a good or bad woman in Colombia just as easily as you can in America.  Approaching a woman in Colombia with statistics, general rules, a flippant attitude, and lack of Spanish skills is a recipe for disaster and marriage is the easiest one-way ticket to hell any man can buy.

[mar33]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: You're looking at it in all ..., posted by valuedcustomer on Dec 8, 2003

[This message has been edited by mar33]

Valuedcustomer,
       I too have known my fiance for over 2 years and am now ready for the final step. We email and talk everyday and she is also fluent in English. I believe a lot of women will not put a premium on looks if the communication and chemistry is good and she is truly a good and sincere person with a sweet personality.
But there are a lot of men looking for a foreign bride who are so fixated on looks and youth alone( young girls can be very fickle),they do not pay attention to the charecter of the women. You are correct that many cannot even communicate fluently in a common language. With that in mind it is easy to see why there may be failure because both sides may not be sincere.
   If a woman truly loves you ,you will feel it 100%. There are many lucky guys like you, me, Jeff and JimmyStLouis and many more who actually can communicate well with our significant other and have great chemistry with her. When I finally started looking for a wife I knew it was not going to be easy. But  I would rather be alone than settle for a woman who I was not sure would be there through thick and thin no matter what life brings.

[Calipro]

... in response to Re: You're looking at it in all the wron..., posted by mar33 on Dec 8, 2003

I like black comedy too! But don't you think you are taking it to extremes.

"women are as fussy as men"
"she does not like or care about sex"
"75% of divorce is initiated by women"
"Men are the very last ones to know"
"their marriage is going bad"
"she does not love you"
"sex happens 10 times a year"

mar33, Are you off the anti-depressants again or do you just just need to get laid?

I truely wonder if this is your view of the world or if you are trying to be entertaining. Anyway keep posting. They are pretty amusing.

To the rest of the guys out there, IMHO if any of the things mars33 brings up in his posts is rolling around in your head the first time you met a women, you will be sending a signal of insecurity so strong that she won't even notice if you have a pot belly or bald spot. I hope that isn't your goal!!!

Ninety percent of it initially is how you make the women feel when she is around you and confidence is the key.

Nine days to Cali!!!

[mar33]

... in response to Bad Santa!!, posted by Calipro on Dec 8, 2003

Calipro,
      We are all grateful to Pete for at least being up front and telling us about his reality. I guess he should be considered bad Santa also,since he is the one who admits his wife did not love him,and he had sex perhaps 10x last year. He admits he made a wrong choice,so we need to be careful.
     I respect a man who can give you another point of view , even if it is negative and people don't like to hear it.
      Mark

[Calipro]

... in response to Re: Bad Santa!!, posted by mar33 on Dec 8, 2003

mar33,

I make a distiction between someone recounting a bad experiance and someone who continually talks about negative senarios.

[mar33]

... in response to Bad Santa!!, posted by Calipro on Dec 8, 2003

Calipro,
   You've been married 3x before the age of 40!!!!. Maybe you are a little bit too idealistic about life and women and the fact women can use you to their advantage especially if you have something(a green card they need).            
   Also, also what I wrote about women is true. If you choose to be in denial and think a woman's brain is empty and she does not have a thought in her head  and she is just great as long as you love her so be it.
     Did you not say your ex-left you and could give you no reason for leaving? She actually did not know why she was leaving?Look at statistics it will show that women are the ones initiating divorce most of the time.
   I am just telling men not to go in with too idealistic a view. Be realistic about women. There are some of us who want a wife and family for life. We are not looking for a couple of good years till someone gets sick of the other and leaves,then start over. For you that may be good. But many want permanace in their relationship.
   many of us had to weed out a lot of bad to get to the good. But in the long run it is worth it.
       Mark
   

[Calipro]

... in response to Re: Bad Santa!!, posted by mar33 on Dec 8, 2003


mar33, Just my opinion but there is a lot of negative energy in your posts

"you are a little bit too idealistic"
"women can use you"
"a woman's brain is empty"

"women are the ones initiating divorce most of the time"
"till someone gets sick of the other"
"weed out a lot of bad"

Maybe it's just me!!
But, you don't SOUND TO HAPPY!!!!

[mar33]

... in response to Question to Dalls Steve & Fuzzyone, posted by Zorrowins on Dec 7, 2003

Zorro,
     I think most LA women are in demand in their countries . Same as Russian women, Filippinas ect. The difference is because of class structure in many of these countries, the type of men that are interested in them for marriage are not always the greatest.
   For example, a girl from a poor family no matter how beautiful is rarely able to catch a man who is very educated or well off(though he may take her for a mistress). The class structure in many of these countries is very tight.So most often her only option for marriage is a man who is on the poorer side. (Now she can be in great demand to be a mistress for a rich married man, or a mafioso type with money, but not the wife.)
   But when she comes to the U.S. many of the type of men who would not take her seriously in her country are now seriously after her. She can get herself a doctor,lawyer, or any other upper class man(especially if she is beautiful) she never dreamed would have interest in her for marriage.
   Now if she really loves you, sure she will be flattered with the attention but she will know where her heart is. If she is shallow she will be impressed with her new ability to seriously attract men with high earning potential or better looks and off she goes to live the life she thinks she deserves. So choose wisely.
   Mark

[HeyNow]

... in response to Re: Question to Dalls Steve & Fuzzyo..., posted by mar33 on Dec 8, 2003

I believe your comments about the class structure is a myth.
If a woman is truly beautiful (and dosen't have children) she can get any man regardless of class. Read the post directly below.  That is why you don't see many of these women in the agency.

[DallasSteve2]

... in response to Question to Dalls Steve & Fuzzyone, posted by Zorrowins on Dec 7, 2003

Zorrowins

I'd like to answer your question, but I'm not sure what it is.  I think I agree.

If you're asking will a beautiful Latina get a lot more attention here, I think that's true.  However, they also get a lot of attention in Colombia.  If you are asking something about how that relates to her jealousy, I'm lost.

I don't have enough time to post all the stories she's told me about men chasing her.  This weekend she told me that the husband of a close friend here was hitting on her.  I know the couple fairly well.  My wife got so uncomfortable with the situation that she stopped seeing her friend.  

There have been several married men in our apartment complex that have been making moves on her.  I'm tempted to tell their wives, but I remember something about discretion and valor.

When she first arrived in Dallas last year one of them saw her walking and chased her down (left his truck at a gas station pump).  He told her she was perfect, asked her to marry him, and wrote his name and number on a piece of bulk mail he had.  He didn't stop to check that his wife's name and address were on the letter.  I almost mailed it to her with a letter of my own, but eventually I threw it away.

Steve