Poll questions

[Jersey Mike]

Two general questions for those of you who are happily married to a latina:  
1) Would you characterize your wife's personality as outgoing/extroverted or reserved/introverted?
2) Did she successfully hold a steady job in her native country before you married her?

No right or wrong answers here - just testing an observation/theory I have.
Thanks.

[cancunhound]

... in response to Poll questions, posted by Jersey Mike on Nov 24, 2003

Outgoing would be an understatement!  Job - like a workhorse in Cali.  Pushing six years now con bambino.  What is the theory?

-CaliGringo.com

[Jersey Mike]

... in response to Re: Poll questions, posted by cancunhound on Nov 24, 2003

OK - for what it's worth, here is my thought:

I have dated a number of latinas, along with a couple of eastern European women including my ex wife.  All were already living in the NYC/NJ area when I met them.  In addition, I have several friends who have married (some successfully, some not) foreign-born women.  I dated and have known both introverted and outgoing types of women from these experiences.  Without question, the women who were outgoing seemed to adjust better to life here in the USA, to make new friends, and were less homesick.  Almost all of the introverted ones have had trouble with homesickness and have tended to retreat into insulated communities of people from their home countries or cultures.

The second Q on working: To me, the women who can hold and keep a job seem more responsible and dependable, better educated, more down to earth, and have more realistic expectations of their lives here.  They have been more likely to want to contribute to the relationship/family finances (although there is still very much a tendency towards "What's his is ours, and what's hers is hers" mentality among many ladies.)  A woman who has worked consistently is more likely to understand our culture of working long hours and living for tomorrow instead of immediate gratification today.  My ex wife had never worked, and was incredibly irresponsible about finances, and was very immature in general (although she is 31 now).

Not meant as foolproof indicators of success by any means but   can help to improve the chances of a successful marriage, IMO.

[Jamie]

... in response to Re: My Theory (FWIW!), posted by Jersey Mike on Nov 25, 2003

Mike the irresponsibility and immaturity you describe is very common in Colombian women, as you said particularly for women without work experience. While one of the benefits of this is that they are very playful compared to American women the downside is when it is time to be serious they are also very playful. I have noticed this even in the college educated ladies, as well as, with the well off women who do not work or whose family does not allow them to work. While you may be 100% correct in your assessment of your wife. You will need to be careful in your expression of such traits to her. Often having one or more of her family members or friends collaborate responsible or economic values is better than you doing so. Seek their help and explain how this is good for your wife and that you need their help and you can build allies within her own family. You must constantly remind yourself to be patient with your reminders and request for change and always do so in a calm, helpful manner. Regardless of how right you are, do not allow yourself to get mad. For example, explain the benefits of saving to her and see if she will agree that such an action is good. Than get her to commit to some form of a savings plan and than gently remind her of your shared goals when she goes astray. It may take you time to convince her of each stage of the savings lesson but continue your effort in a teacher to student form. Also always complement her when she has made progress. A guy that complements his woman often and gives her small gifts of gestures (surprise cards, one flower (even if it’s from your neighbors yard)) will show her you really are thinking of her and you mean to do what is best for her and for the both of you. Anyway, I threw in the suggestions they may or may not apply to your situation. Jamie

[Red Clay]

... in response to Poll questions, posted by Jersey Mike on Nov 24, 2003

1-Very outgoing, the life of the party, but tastefully, nothing obnoxious or embarrasing.

2-Held same job in Lima for 10 years before coming here, working at a university.

[Jamie]

... in response to Poll questions, posted by Jersey Mike on Nov 24, 2003

Outgoing and Extroverted to those that speak Spanish. And never worked in her home country.

My experience shows no association for girls that are either way and have never worked. If there was any leanings I would say the more shy girls appear to have more work than the outgoing ones. I've noticed the girls that like to talk seem to do so when they should be working instead of talking.

I would like to hear you theory.

Jamie

[DaveyRich1]

... in response to Poll questions, posted by Jersey Mike on Nov 24, 2003

Mike
My wife is 28 years old. She is very out going around people she knows. She speaks good english which I believe is the key. In Cali she worked at a few of the agencies and Cali James actually referred her to me as a translator.
We have been married for about 2 1/2 years she has had a Good Job the whole time . That is another key if they sit around they will get bored. Hope that helps your survey. We will be in Cali March 12 thru 21 if any one is their would like to meet you guys.
                   Good Luck
                         Davey