Top Ten List

[DallasSteve2]

Dear List:

I just got back from a trip to Key West with my wife.  While passing through Key Largo we met a man at a grocery store.  He asked my wife if she was from the Phillipines.  He said his fiancee is from the Phillipines.

Now the reason this is noteworthy (besides the fact that I would spend money on a vacation) is that this man was a sad case.  Now he seemed like a friendly, happy person.  But he was late 50s, very overweight, horrible teeth, and he was shopping for groceries riding in an electric cart.

Now I've been guilty of robbing the cradle before, but at least I can still run 3 miles (which I just did).  So being the helpful guy that I am I will present for you:

The Top Ten Signs You Have No Business Dating Or Marrying A Hot, Young Latina:

10. You are so poor that the government waives your visa fees.
9. You are so cheap that you make your fiancee pay your visa fees.
8. You get winded walking from the sofa to the kitchen.
7. Your personal hygiene would offend a prison convict.
6. You're planning to read interview questions to her from a list.
5. You're planning to meet her wearing shorts and a t-shirt.
4. You sleep with your teeth in a jar.
3. You are taking Viagra and your last name is not Hefner.
2. You have a heart attack on the plane ride home.

And the number one sign that you have no business dating or marrying a hot, young Latina:

1. You ride an electric cart in the grocery store.

Merry Thanksgiving!

Steve

[thundernco]

... in response to Top Ten List, posted by DallasSteve2 on Nov 26, 2003

Hey Stevo,

I personally like my shorts, especially the cargo type.  It allows me to carry more viagra packages home from the farmacia, although I guess I could also use the little basket on my tricked-out electric scooter.  Seriously though, thanks for the levity and Happy Thanksgiving Day to you and the rest of the board. -TNC

[jim c]

... in response to Top Ten List, posted by DallasSteve2 on Nov 26, 2003

You should have told me you were in Key West I'm not really that grumpy. I would have given you the tour, and my hotel was close to empty. As to your list "beauty is in the eye of the beholder and you should see the line in the pharmacy at LA 14 for seldenafil for two bucks for 100mgm. Don't deny it guys!! jim c

PS maybe the guy was saving his energy for the honeymoon

[Bueller]

... in response to Re: Top Ten List, posted by jim c on Nov 26, 2003

I went to a Thanksgiving dinner last night at a restaurant in Jururê Internacional, a very upscale neighborhood here on Santa Catarina Island in Brazil and one of the most desirable neighborhoods in the entire country. The dinner was organized by a group of people who get together once a week to practice their English.

 A couple of conversations overheard at my table worth mentioning:
 
1- A Brazilian guy who seems to have done pretty well in life (e.g. lives in Jururê) told me of at least a half dozen places he has lived in the U.S., and says the one place he lived where he immediately felt like he was in Paradise was...Key West.

2- Another Brazilian guy who speaks perfect English said half jokingly that he is thinking of starting a business "importing Colombian women" to the area. The friend who invited me jumped in and told him he's nuts, that Florianópolis and southward has some of the most beautiful women in the world, and four of the most successful models in the world are from Rio Grande do Sul, which is just south of here and the southernmost state of Brazil. Gisele Bündchen is from there, though IMO I'm not sure what the big deal is...or maybe I've been here too long.

 BTW, if any of you guys are entertaing the idea of retiring to LA, a super-duper nice house costs about U.S. $250k in Jururê Internacional, and J.I is famous for needing no guarded gates and no bars over the windows-- it just looks like an upscale U.S. neighboorhood, except it's on the beach. Nice large apartments sell for maybe $100k, and then there's Jururê Tradicional nearby which is not as glitzy but not as expensive either.

[denvermike]

... in response to Re: Key West, posted by Bueller on Nov 28, 2003

Interesting comments

Have you ever been to Key West, it is the gay capital of Florida, it is one of the most bizarre places full of drag queens, sorry not my style.

I have a good friend Nick who recently bought an apartment in Brazil.  He plans on retiring there.  It is in Bello Horizonte.  I have not had the chance to see it yet, but he says he got the top two floors of an exclusive building even has a swimming pool for about $150,000 USD. He got lucky last year when the exchange got wacked by all the economic problems in Brazil. He apparently got a great deal.  I can verify the ladies in Bello are nice and the place is far safer than most large cities in Brazil.

[wsbill]

... in response to Re: Re: Key West, posted by denvermike on Nov 28, 2003

Key West is a happen'in place...Reguardless what end of Duval you party on.

Was stationed there 4 years in the 80's.

[jim c]

... in response to Re: Re: Key West, posted by denvermike on Nov 28, 2003

The flavor of Key West is its tolerence. Yes, it is a gay destination. The population is about 25,00 so in actuality it is a small town. We even put up with psuedo cowboys and their fat wives who ride around on the Conch train or ride motor scooters with thir butts hanging like saddle bags.We have the distinction of almost zero crime other than bicycle theft and macho drunk tourists who get their asses kicked by our drag queens. jim c

[A1A]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Key West, posted by jim c on Nov 28, 2003

Three years ago I took my daughters an a week long vacation in Key West.  Had a great time.  One night we were in a convienience shop on Duval a few doors down from one of the gay bars.  In walks a queen wearing a beautiful satin, silver dress, heels, d@mn, he was taller than me, my 10 year old daughter wispers to me, "Dad, is that a guy?",
her older sister gave her a look to shut up!  Outside my girls about died laughing!  They got an education that night!  Nothing but good memories of the keys.
A1A

[JSlo]

... in response to Re: Top Ten List, posted by jim c on Nov 26, 2003

Grumpster,
I forgot you are in key west. Forward me your info off-line and I'll stop by for a visit. It is time for a return visit down there. I am in Broward County so its not too far for a weekend getaway. How are things looking for Cartagena? Have a happy bird-day and thanksgiving.
JSlo

[wsbill]

... in response to Re: Re: Top Ten List, posted by JSlo on Nov 26, 2003

Hanging out with VFA-106 in the old VA-45 hanger.  Love those those 18's they never break for us mechs.

Might try and get a trip down that way next year sometime.  Will have to look you and have a cold one at Schooners Wharf.

KW has definately changed from the time I was down there.  It's like too commericalized and expensive.  Thank god for Sigsbee commissary.

Last time I was there I got one wicked sunburn while taking out a little sailboat from the marina... believe me.. I will never forget to apply the SPF40 on again.  YEOW!!

[DallasSteve2]

... in response to Re: Top Ten List, posted by jim c on Nov 26, 2003

Thanks for the kind words Jim.  I should have alerted you.  But we were only there for 2 days.  It was really a lot more crowded than I expected.  Maybe I picked a bad week with the World Championship Power Boat Races going on.

We rented 2 scooters one day and rode all around the island for a few hours.  That was my favorite part.  Well, that and the women sunbathing topless on the beach.  There weren't many, but there were a few.

If we go back I'll let you know, but it probably won't be for years.  I've got some other spots I want to travel to first.

Steve