Why Latin men?

[mar33]

A friend and I were at a restaurant yesterday when in walked 2 latin couples. The women were  beautiful and early 20's . One was a dead ringer for Appolonia(Purple rain).But the men looked quite average,one slightly overweight, also 20's. They looked like they were having a lot of fun.
    I am engaged,but I still appreciate beauty. My friend who is single and not  bad looking says"what gives"? These pretty latin girls probably get hit on every single day of their lives. They can have any guy they want,why is it that they usually choose pretty average latin guys?
   I can't figure that out either. When my ex-Brazilian girlfriend left, it was for a latino DJ who was unreliable. Another latina left me and began dating a  latin guy who was older,and did not have much money. Why do so many complain about latin men . Yet, given a chance they usually choose their own?

[Keith Smith]

... in response to Why Latin men?, posted by mar33 on Nov 14, 2003

In the early 1990s, I had wanted a Puerto Rican woman. No one particular woman, but ANY Puerto Rican woman that I was attracted to. I didn't even care if she had kids or not. I used to go to the annual Puerto Rican Day Parade (each June) in order to meet these ladies. But as time went on, I noticed that they weren't "feelin'" me. I don't mean to sound 'cliche' about it, but I was (am) under the impression that they didn't want to be bothered with me because I'm Black. Being that I wasn't a Puerto Rican (or Latin) male, they didn't want to know me (better). I also noticed that many (not ALL) of these females that I met were 'down' with those guys who were into that "bad boy," "macho man," or "thug" non-sense. I have to admit, it hurt me. Nowadays, when it comes to females here (in NYC), I no longer try to deal with 'Boricquas.' It doesn't make sense to try to persue women who have no interest in me. At least Colombianas and Dominicanas (in my experience) treat me better. Later.

[Cali vet]

... in response to Re: Why Latin men?, posted by Keith Smith on Nov 16, 2003

When I first began venturing to Latin destinations I scratched Puerto Rico off the list first thing. Why visit a Latin nation with American prices and American attitudes??? Besides, many Colombians have told me they mangle Spanish worse than anybody.

[Keith Smith]

... in response to Re: Re: Why Latin men?, posted by Cali vet on Nov 16, 2003

Well CaliVet, I visited Puerto Rico twice ('92 and '93). It's a beautiful island, but I really didn't think the ladies there were  "all that." Yes, it was (and probably still is) terribly expensive. i have no desire to return there. When I was referring to the "Boricquas," I was talking about the ones (I met) already living here (in NYC). Later.

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: Why Latin men?, posted by Keith Smith on Nov 16, 2003

To keep the odds in our favor we need to go where we are appreciated.Why beat your head agaisnt the wall where you are not?
Fortunately there are good solutions.
Good luck.

Pete

[Keith Smith]

... in response to Re: Re: Why Latin men?, posted by Pete E on Nov 16, 2003

Hi Pete. I totally agree with you. Thanks! Best of luck to you, too.

[John O]

... in response to Why Latin men?, posted by mar33 on Nov 14, 2003

I agree with the guys who mention that most people are comfortable having relationships with partners of their own background - cultural & socio-economic. After moving to Miami, my best Colombian girlfriend left me a month before our planned marriage, and later acquired a Puerto Rican boyfriend.

I've noticed that most Latina immigrants here in California (mostly Mexican & Central American) tend to end up with Latino partners. That's who they spend time with, in work, school, & family/social gatherings. When they are exposed to gringos, usually through work, they tend to be more open to intercultural relationships, but not always.

As an adult ESL teacher, and not bad looking (grin), I've attracted my share of attention from my immigrant students, particularly Latinas and Koreans. There are many ladies who like my fair skin and eyes, just as I'm attracted to darker women. But not all react the same to me. The hottest ones (especially Mexicanas, I've noticed) are naturally the most selective, i.e., stuck-up. And many Latinas have suggested that, at 5'8, 140, I'm too skinny; they like men "mas gordo".

I get the most attention when I'm abroad, that is, as a rare commodity in the foreign Latina marketplace.

[chevy]

... in response to Why Latin men?, posted by mar33 on Nov 14, 2003

So are the latinas more prone to temptation with latinos once here and married to a gringo?. Assuming the latino
is a nice guy. If they are it does not say much about their
( the woman's) character.

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: Why Latin men?, posted by chevy on Nov 14, 2003

I think they are more likely to get each others attention.My wife meets these Colombianos all over.They spot her as a Colombiana.Of course most off them don't have a pot to p!ss in,so if she is smart she will pass on them.
Funny how the kind of a guy who is all over down there gets so interesting here.I would have thought a certain Colombiano would have rung that out of her.The guy who got her pregnant and wouldn't marry her,or help at all with his child.And hit her to boot.And he was not good looking at all,I saw his picture.Whatever. I don't really care what she does after I am gone and I don't have to know about it.Except - - if I come to visit my dog I don't want to be seeing any Colombianos.
And to answer your question,once they have all the material things they want a toy boy could be an option.
But - I really think most guys will not have this problem if they find a latina that really loves them.That could change but its a good start.

pete

[mar33]

... in response to Re: Re: Why Latin men?, posted by Pete E on Nov 14, 2003

Pete,
   You are right about not having to worry about a woman leaving if she really loves you . I have made mistakes in the past and tried to make my "fantasy" woman fall in love. tried everything I could.But realized she either loves you or she does'nt. You cannot make a person feel what is not there.No matter how beautiful a woman is you have to have the strength to walk away. You deserve better.
   But life is funny. Eventually you will find a person who thinks you are the greatest,and loves you as you should be loved. Then, you will wonder why you put up with lukewarm feelings in the first place.

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Why Latin men?, posted by mar33 on Nov 15, 2003

Thanks for the support and kind words.
Yes you are right,they either love you or they don't.If they do you have total confidence in them,don't really worry about them at all.If they don't nothing you can do works.As I posted before I had  learned that lesson before,painfully so,but I forgot it  when I went to Colombia,I thought it could be superceded by if I can improve her life enough she will automatically be very greatfull,happy and love me.Wrong.Old lesson still applies.
But having made that mistake it has been very difficult because I love her and don't want to let her go.And being an empathetic person I always wanted to believe her and look out for her and not do anything to hurt her.
I had brazenly said if I am making a mistake,and lots of people told me I was,I would just send her back.They were right,but It wasn't that easy.I couldn't do it.
And yes I know this mistake has not only been painfull but kept me from finding someone who could really love me.But I know I can still do that,a little older and wiser.And I will,I am confident of it.I don't want to be going through this again in 5 or 10 years.So I need to be much wiser and much more carefull.

Pete

[DallasSteve2]

... in response to Re: Why Latin men?, posted by chevy on Nov 14, 2003

My ex-Colombiana left me for a guy from Lebanon.  Who she left him for I have no idea.

Steve

[DallasSteve2]

... in response to Why Latin men?, posted by mar33 on Nov 14, 2003

Maybe you speak Spanish.  Maybe those particular women speak English.  I don't know.  However, in many cases Latinas choose Latinos because they both speak Spanish, and the gringos don't.

I'm reminded of the opening scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark.  Belloq confronts Indiana Jones surrounded by a tribe of Hovitos warriors.

INDY: Too bad they don't know you like I do, Belloq.

BELLOQ:(smiles) Yes, too bad.  You could warn them...if only you spoke Hovitos.

Steve

[Calipro]

... in response to You could warn them...., posted by DallasSteve2 on Nov 14, 2003

You speak spanish and your wife left you right??

My ex-wife dated a caleño about two weeks after we split. He beat her so bad that she couldn't work for over two weeks and she was black and blue for months. I americanized her so much that no latino would ever want her and taught her english so well that she will probably never go back to her own culture. Believe it or not when I talk to her, she tells me she is afraid to go back to Cali even for a visit. She really believes all the scary things they say about Colombia here.

You want to hear something funny? She even asked me if it was true that the criminals were cuting womens implants out and selling them. I don't think she will ever go back.

[DallasSteve2]

... in response to Hey speak for yourself...., posted by Calipro on Nov 14, 2003

CaliPro

I didn't say speaking Spanish guaranteed success in the relationship.  I'm just saying it's an important reason why Latinas often choose Latinos.  Not the only reason, mind you, but am important one.

I can't imagine implants would have enough value to steal them.  But I have read a horrific story about someone who got drunk and woke up in a bathtub with a note saying that he should go to the hospital because his kidneys had been removed.  I also read later that's not a true story, but then again...

Steve