Hey Zack-What kind of Narcissit was your ex?

[Zorrowins]

My ex was a combination of the Suspecious Destructive Narcissist and the Manipulative Suspecious Narcissit. I thought this book(Loving the Self Absorbed) pretty much explained her dead on. I think probably to have a full blown Narcissistic Personality Disorder must be a living hell for them. Mine who is a Sunday School teacher and the perfect faultless women who has NEVER done anything shameful or wrong reacted like a trapped animal. It was amazing to witness. She apparently had a "boyfriend" on the side for a long time while she dated me. Since we had been together over 2 years at the time I was also very attached to her kids. So apparently the Summer before last her daughter must have caught her with her new boyfriend. So I'm guessing she then lies to her daughter about me dumping her, cheating on her, etc. She then breaks up with me stating she was going to date another man. So anyway like a fool I called her Monday morning and she answers. I hang up. I'm thinking she's alone, and I'm thinking of the one activity with her I loved. So I mossey over and knock at her door. Well her daughter is there sick. My ex's face was shear terror and fear. Panic was all over her face. She was absolutely terrified! She obviously lied to me and told another lie to her daughter. This of course makes her look like a saint and/or a poor victim. Now I now know that this is an on going pattern with her. And explains to me why she has heart problems. Imagine the hell of always projecting a false image of perfection, NEVER ever admitting mistakes or apologizing all the while knowing in your heart you are a lieing, untrustworthy, unfaithful weasel and fake.

[zack]

... in response to Hey Zack-What kind of Narcissit was your..., posted by Zorrowins on Nov 10, 2003

The different types of Narcissists tend to overlap eachother and my EX had some characteristics of every type.
But if I were to narrow it to just one, I would say she was the suspicious type. She thought that everybody was up to no good and had hidded agendas. She also claimed to be a devoted Christian since the age of four (?). She was the most judgemental person I have ever known which makes sense- if you think you have lived a near perfect life then you are more likely to judge others. The Bible says "Judge not so that you will not be judged." She obviously had her own version of the Bible. She was also a control freak and was never wrong. I could go on and on. We came very close to getting married and I thank my lucky stars that we didn't.

What I learned from this experience is to always look close at a woman's heart. It doesn't matter how many qualities she has. If she doesn't have a good heart, don't marry her. Also, if she is mean-spirited, she is NOT a Christian in my book.

Zack

[Zorrowins]

... in response to Re: Hey Zack-What kind of Narcissit was ..., posted by zack on Nov 11, 2003

It's comforting to correspond with someone who at least understands what it's like to be involved with one! They have a way of getting you caught up in their insanity and transferring it(insanity) to YOU. Did this book help give you peace of mind? It sure did me. Also interesting in the Manipulative Distructive Narcissist chapter, the author comment how the N(Narcissist) gives you EVERYTHING you need in the beginning. In my case she praised and worshiped the ground I walked on. I was very insecure as I had just lost over 100 pounds after weighing over 350# for 15 years. I still felt fat and couldn't believe someone so attractive would want me. I fell hard for her. That of course is the beginning of the end.

At any rate I'll talk to you later. I'm off to the gym to work out(My secret to keeping the weight off and being physically strong-Don't tell anyone the secret.)

[zack]

... in response to Re: Re: Hey Zack-What kind of Narcissit ..., posted by Zorrowins on Nov 11, 2003

Yes, the book was comforting. My EX was very involved with me, but she never worshiped me like yours did.  But she was genuinely interested in marrying me.

What I found so incredibly alluring about this woman was that when you take one look at her, you would think that she is a Playboy bunny or works at Hooters. You would think that she spends her weekends as a naughty party girl. But the opposite is true. She went out occasionally, but spent most of her weekends staying home reading books or watching religious programs.  This was before I knew her so you can imagine how taken I was by that concept. I don't like the bad girls. It sounded too good to be true. But that part of her WAS true. She was just a bad girl in a different way, which I already described.

She now lives in Denver and I can't help but think about how taken the next man will be at first. I pitty the next man that falls for her.

Zack

P.S. I also lost 60 pounds before I met her. I never weighed 350, but I can relate to your situation.

[thundernco]

... in response to Re: Re: Hey Zack-What kind of Narcissit ..., posted by Zorrowins on Nov 11, 2003

Hey Zorro,

I remeber your posts when your first started on the board, sorry to hear it didn't work out. Good to hear that your head is still in the right place though.  Take care & good luck with the next one -TNC

[Zorrowins]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Hey Zack-What kind of Narcis..., posted by thundernco on Nov 11, 2003

Thanks! Hopefully there were several very good things that came out of that failed relationship. (1) It felt really good to be loved again(initially) (2) I'm attracted to younger women and (3) I'm now strong and physical and have repaired my damaged self-confidence.

Now to my theory. When your an older AM wanting a young atrractive AM lady, it's quite a challenge as there is definately a shortage of them. So if you get one-(I did), you generally pay a heavy price. You find yourself very eager to please her as deep inside you know you can be replaced in a heartbeat. So as a result AM are generally very kind to these women in general due to many years of conditioning. They in general are not as kind to us.

In Colombia the situation appears to be the exact reverse!
The women know they can be replaced in a hearbeat, because of the apparent shortage of men. So hopefully(prayerfully), most Colombian women will treat us AM very kindly and lovingly due to their many years of conditioning in Colombia!

So it sounds like a match made in heaven! Two people who will actually be greatful for each other! At least I hope so!

[Keith Smith]

... in response to Re: Hey Zack-What kind of Narcissit was ..., posted by zack on Nov 11, 2003

Reminds me of some of female co-workers at my job who claim to be "saved" or "born again." Yet, they are some of the most arrogant, trifling, self-centered, and wicked people I have met (and known) in all the days of my life. They hate me with a passion. It's all good. I HAVE NO RESPECT FOR THEM, EITHER. Later.

[zack]

... in response to Re: Re: Hey Zack-What kind of Narcissit ..., posted by Keith Smith on Nov 11, 2003

These people give Christians a bad name more than any other. I don't care if you sleep in a pile of Bibles, if you are self-centered, arrogant, and wicked, like those you described, you are NOT a Christian.

Zack

[Keith Smith]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Hey Zack-What kind of Narcis..., posted by zack on Nov 12, 2003

Hi Zack. I agree with you 150%!!!!! I believe no true Christian would act in the manner (of the people) that I described. Don't get me wrong. I don't claim to be a saint. But I don't think I'm a self-righteous hypocrite, either.  Take care.

[DavidMN]

... in response to Re: Re: Hey Zack-What kind of Narcissit ..., posted by Keith Smith on Nov 11, 2003

An even worse situation is the born-again Christian who's also just quit smoking. That's one sanctimonious soul!

[Keith Smith]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Hey Zack-What kind of Narcis..., posted by DavidMN on Nov 11, 2003

Hi Dave. You've got to tell people like that to "LIGHT THAT ONE UP AND SMOKE IT." Take care.

[Michael B]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Hey Zack-What kind of Narcis..., posted by DavidMN on Nov 11, 2003