original motivation?

[cassius]

... in response to Its simple, posted by Pete E on Nov 12, 2003

hey pete, is there a model or actress that your wife closely looks like?

from your description, she seems to be one of the most beautiful women in your area. is it carmen electra, mariah or one of those telenovela babes (univison.com)?

since she did such a good job on your heart and head, i hope her looks was well worth the delusions you've put yourself through....

just curious.

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: Its simple, posted by cassius on Nov 13, 2003

Maybe a slight resemblence to Paula Abdul.Right down to a cute little mole.She said she wanted it removed.I said,no,it fits you,you wouldn't look the same without it.
But of course the way I feel about her elevates her in my mind.If some of my friends read this they would probably roll their eyes and  say,"come on".
Reminds me of an old humerous post card.It shows this sketch of a guy about to walk off a cliff and the caption is "you can always tell a man in love,but the fool will never listen."

Pete

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: Its simple, posted by cassius on Nov 13, 2003

I can't think of an actress she looks like.She has a very unique look.A very unique face.I scan the web sites looking at women and hardly anyone compares,but I am wanting them to look like her.Someone else might not think she is so special.Colombians always recognize her as one of their own.
Sometimes she might look very ordinary,other times really beautifull to me.We went out to dinner a couple of nights ago.She was just looking so good to me.I really like her face(as well as her body).When she smiles she just lights up,particularly if she is really focusing on you.It just melted my heart when I first met her.Unfortunately I never really get that look from her anymore.
I told her when we came home she was really special to me,but I need to be special also.She agreed I did,while basically admitting I was not to her.I guess I'm lucky she is having no more second thoughts.I still love her and could get hooked back in and it would never be any good because she just doesn't love me.She finally will admit it after years of denial,but I knew better all along.
When she left this morning I was watching her.I was thinking my little cute person.But she is not mine.
I need to get out of here.I am waiting for some things very important to my future.I hope to be gone by the first week of December.When I was in Panama I was feeling good about myself.Not really focusing on her much at all other than to think it was over.But back in this situation I do not,its a downer.Its hard to feel good about yourself when someone you love does not love you.
Some of her girlfriends don't think I will really leave.I asked her do you think I will?She was kind of unsure.But its just so bad I have to get out,so I am sure I will leave,although it may be very difficult to actually walk out the door.I guess I understand a little why I didn't dump her before if it is so hard to do now and things are much worse than before.
Reminds me of an old song "thats life."
But I really am an optomist.I know things will be better.I just need to get out of this negative situation.

Pete

[DallasSteve2]

... in response to Re: Re: Its simple, posted by Pete E on Nov 13, 2003

Pete

I went through this last year and you know that I rushed back in (like a fool).  Another poster wrote: "it could take years of intense frustration about her."  Do you have years to do some "soul searching"?

After my first wife left I was sad and bitter for almost 10 years.  I didn't really stop thinking about her until I met wife number 2.  You're almost 60.  If you wait 10 years you'll be almost 70.

If I was you I'd be thinking "You only live once.  I want to enjoy what time I have left.  I'm not going to spend it heartbroken over a woman who doesn't care about me."

So what if you screw up the rest of your life.  It's not like you're 20.

Steve

[Pete E]

... in response to Age, posted by DallasSteve2 on Nov 14, 2003

I don't have too much life left to screw up? I love it. I can probably manage though.
Actually your right,we have to keep it in perspetive.How long to we really have?And how long with good health?
I have never been real big on delayed gratification but I really am not now.I'll be 61 in 4 months.I better find another chica before even the Colombianas think I am over the hill.
But I don't feel that old.I don't think I look that old.Maybe if I can turn back the biological clock I can get my age adjusted.
I could tell some chica "when I told you I was 46 I was reffering to my biological age,here is a note from my doctor." If they won't write the note after buying 1000's of dollars of growth hormone I'll get another doctor.
But really,life is happening right now.Its a shame to waste any of it.Reminds me of the 2 economists talking.One says "in the long run" the other says "in the long run we're all dead."
Head to Cali day,December 3,19 days and counting.Last doctor appointment here Dec. 1

Pete

[DallasSteve2]

... in response to Re: Age, posted by Pete E on Nov 14, 2003

Pete

I'm still in good health.  I eat lowfat, lift weights, run 3 miles several times a week, don't drink or smoke.  

I went to Iguazu Falls in Argentina when I was about 40.  It was spectacular.  We spent several days there.  There were lots of steep trails up and down the sides of the hills there.  I remember thinking that I was glad I was still in good shape, because someone old and feeble could not enjoy it nearly as much.

One goal I have is to return to Iguazu Falls while I'm still young enough to enjoy it.  I'm 47 now.  I figure if I keep excercising and eating right I've got another 20 years left to make the trip (if I don't get cancer or something first).

You never know.  Each day in good health is a gift.

Steve

[cassius]

... in response to Re: Re: Its simple, posted by Pete E on Nov 13, 2003

Pete:

well this is what i was worried about after i read the history you posted.

i sensed that you are involved in one of those deals where the love is like an eternal flame. you are heading off to SA, but it is very likely that your love for her will grow even stronger. even if you meet plenty super sexy babes and live a fantasy retirement.

you said above that, "I told her when we came home she was really special to me....I guess I'm lucky she is having no more second thoughts.I still love her and could get hooked back in...".

i really hope that was a joke, because you are saying that she still has a powerful hold over you, after all the realities about her motives and character.

and you are saying that if she pushed you enough you would remain in the marriage under her conditions (obviously)?

so going to SA may or may not help. it could take years of intense frustration about her. love is an awfully strange thing, so you don't want to keep playing with fire.

it is good to be optimistic, but wanting to be her victim is the opposite.

peace!

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Its simple, posted by cassius on Nov 14, 2003

Yes I still love her and living with her I am constantly reminded of it.And if she really wanted me back I would probably go for it,my head would say no but my heart would say yes.But it wouldn't be on conditions like we now have,a huge change would be needed,or we would still be in some halfway relationship.Fortunately for me I think she is having no second thoughts,so that is not going to happen.
And it will be hard to walk out the door,but thats just whats going to happen in about 18 days barring some total change of her feelings.
But - - I don't think I will be pining for her for years.When I get away from here it will be easier,like when I was in Panama last month.
There is nothing like a new woman to get you over the old one and thats why I'm going to Cali first.Dallas Steve went through this about 2 years ago.He really cared for his ex wife but was able to move on and find another woman fairly quickly and I sensed none of the anguish after that.
I have an advantage in living there I do not need to marry a girl or do a fiance visa,so if the initial one is not the one I will just keep moving on.
The big thing is just getting out of here.It will be easier after that.I will not elaborate more on the reasons for my delay,but its some important things I need to complete before I leave.

Pete

[Freddie]

... in response to Re: Re: Its simple, posted by Pete E on Nov 13, 2003

,

[Pete E]

... in response to If one party says it's over, it's over. ..., posted by Freddie on Nov 13, 2003

Its all over but the leaving.And I knew thats how she felt way before she ever admitted it.

Pete

[DallasSteve2]

... in response to Re: Re: Its simple, posted by Pete E on Nov 13, 2003

Pete

When my ex left last year I started searching the agency websites to find other women that looked like her.  I know all the arguments against doing that, but I didn't care.  You only live once.  

I saw about 4 that looked a lot like her and I tried to set up appointments with all of them.  Not a one of them ever made an appointment with me in Cali.

My best friend spotted my wife's picture on LatinInternet and asked me to look at her.  I was not that impressed.  (She does not look much like that agency picture in real life).  He thought she was the hottest of them all.

So I scheduled an appointment with her just so that he could see his fantasy woman.  Things clicked and we've talked or been together almost every day since then.

The odd part of the story is, I sent a picture of her (via email) to my ex last year, because my ex wanted to see what she looked like.  She wrote back and said "How did you find another woman who looks like me?"

I didn't think they look that much alike, but when my wife DOESN'T smile I realize that she does look a lot like my ex.  I have a visa photo of her on my desk here with her not smiling and she looks a lot like my ex (and I think my wife looks stunning in that photo).

So whadaya know.  I ended up with a woman who looks like my ex, but at first I didn't think she looked much like her.

Life's good.

Steve

[Zorrowins]

... in response to original motivation?, posted by chevy on Nov 12, 2003

Well let's try again! Here's my original message.

Thanks! Hopefully there were several very good things that came out of that failed relationship. (1) It felt really good to be loved again(initially) (2) I'm attracted to younger women and (3) I'm now strong and physical and have repaired my damaged self-confidence.

Now to my theory. When your an older AM wanting a young atrractive AM lady, it's quite a challenge as there is definately a shortage of them. So if you get one-(I did), you generally pay a heavy price. You find yourself very eager to please her as deep inside you know you can be replaced in a heartbeat. So as a result AM are generally very kind to these women in general due to many years of conditioning. They in general are not as kind to us.

In Colombia the situation appears to be the exact reverse!
The women know they can be replaced in a hearbeat, because of the apparent shortage of men. So hopefully(prayerfully), most Colombian women will treat us AM very kindly and lovingly due to their many years of conditioning in Colombia!

So it sounds like a match made in heaven! Two people who will actually be greatful for each other! At least I hope so!

[Zorrowins]

... in response to original motivation?, posted by chevy on Nov 12, 2003

Keep in mind I haven't gone to Colombia yet, but will after the first of the year(unless struck by lightning or a new AM lady). So below I'm reposting a previous message and will add a PS.

[zack]

... in response to original motivation?, posted by chevy on Nov 12, 2003

Chevy,

I have read some of your recent posts and last January you mentioned going to South America in the spring but based on your following posts you never went. But you are writing some ladies. What is keeping you? You asked us what our original motive was which is a good question. Once you get down there, you won't be asking us why we keep going there.

My original motive was to find a very attractive wife with a kind heart. Since then I have developed a lot more reasons to keep looking there:

1. The ladies in SA are more attractive

2. More sweet

3. Less sarcastic, more down to earth

4. More home-loving

5. Appreciate nice men more

6. Are not "womens libbers" and enjoy being women

7. Don't take America for granted

8. Less likely to reject a man if he makes less than 80k

9. Averall more appreciative of what a man has to offer

10. More religious (in general)

11. SA ladies in general have lived a more difficult life and are less
   spoiled.

There are probably more reasons but this is all I can think of at the present time.

Zack

[chevy]

... in response to Re: original motivation?, posted by zack on Nov 12, 2003

I have to agree with point 8. I had a woman tell me she needs a man who makes 80-100K. I barely reach 50k so she blew me off after the first date.Hopefully a colombiana will not start raising her minimum salary her man needs to have once she is here.