original motivation?

[chevy]

What was the reason you got involved in searching for a woman outside the U.S.? Was it failure in the search here? Was it a desire for adventure and something different? Was it a lack of determination
to continue the search here?
 For those who have been trying but yet to find her, will you continue to look exclusively down there? Or try again here?

[Ralph]

... in response to original motivation?, posted by chevy on Nov 12, 2003

I wasn't on any "search" really. I had just gotten divorced, and hadn't had a vacation in years. My buddy owned a business in the DR, so i went down with him once. Had a great time. Returned the next month.

In the 2 years or so after my divorce I dated a bunch of women from all over. NY, Texas, Toronto, DR, Colombia, Mexico, North Carolina etc etc etc

Eventually I met a girl I fell in love with in the DR. We got engaged, got married but it didn't work out. So. . . .I planned on picking up right where I left off, traveling, dating, seeing new places, meeting new people etc etc etc.

My tastes in women have changed. Blonde hair and blue eyes does little for me etc. In fact I remember being at a trade show and there was a very cute blonde working at the show. Every guy there was drooling over her. . . .except me. I liked her Mexican American friend better, even though every other guy only noticed the blonde. As luck would have it, I wound up with the blonde. I was a hero to all the computer geeks at the show, but they all looked at me weird whenI said I like the mexican girl better! Oh well. . . .different strokes.

[Zorrowins]

... in response to original motivation?, posted by chevy on Nov 12, 2003

Let me share what I've done, since you refer to a lack of motivation! I'm 55 years of age, 6 feet tall, and average looking. So here's what I've done-Lost weight to 210# at this moment, lift weight 3-5 times a week, do 60 minutes of areobics daily, dyed my hair,& had lasik eye surgery. I still have had no success in dating an attractive 40-45 year old AW(other than my failed relationship). I've dated several ladys over 50-no thanks. Now one AW said lower your expectations. You know what she's absolutely correct if I limit myself to AM! So I decided I can get the lady I want in Colombia. And that's what I'm going to do! PS I'm am looking for marriage, not a fling.But I absolutely want and need to be physically attracted to her.

[Pete E]

... in response to And furthermore, posted by Zorrowins on Nov 12, 2003

Is our unwillingness to lower our expectations.If we were willing to do that we would be married to someone that fits reality here.I know guys who can do that.They can find nice women with good jobs or money.They don't have to deal with alot of the things we do by seeking women from another.
culture.But what they are willing to accept I am unwilling to acccept.Its as simple as that.
I think the other thing we have in common,related to the first,is we tend to be visual.I know I am.How she looks is very important.I used to do OK when I was younger,well,not really up to Colombiana standards most of the time.But as I have gotten older I am unwilling to change my expectations.
Fortuately there is a solution,a very good one even though it is filled risk.Colombia.What a difference a plane ride makes.I presume the guy that started this thread has never been there or he would know the answer already.For you guys for whom this is just a mental exercise or future plan and have never gone you are in for one incredible adjustment of what has been your previous experience with women.Its a whole different world.You have to experience it,and 99% you will be permanently hooked on it,even,if like me,your first try didn't turn out as you hoped.
What a deal.Pretty women.Interested in YOU.Makes you feel like a celebrity or just hit the lottery or something.It reminds me of the old TV program the Twilight Zone.All of a sudden reality shifts.

Pete

[Michael B]

... in response to The one thing guys have in common here, posted by Pete E on Nov 13, 2003

Many years ago, Ann Landers (or perhaps her sister Dear Abby) said: ANYBODY can get married, if they just set their standards low enough.

Personally, I'm not ready to go that route, and obviously, neither are you. Visual is important, but to me, sincerity, character, personality, honesty and does she honestly care about ME? are are even more important. Lucky for us, we can have it ALL with a good Latina. Some guys think the same about Filipinas and FSU women, power to them, if that's what they want, but it's Latinas (well, now it's one PARTICULAR Latina) for me.

[Locii]

... in response to (unwilling to) lower our expectations, posted by Michael B on Nov 13, 2003

I agree with you.  While I am a very visual person, when it comes to the physical, I find certain body proportions and ways a woman dresses more interesting than basic 'looks'.

But as you said, if someone is vacuous in personality or devoid of style, or for example, cannot appreciate a good foreign film, I can't get interested.

I find the things that AW are preoccuppied with of little interest, and oft times a turnoff.  I find they tend to be ingorant, if not intellectually, then full of hubris.  The best way to determine if a woman is of interest is too see what she thinks of foreign women herself.  Most AW I know tend to think LW dress 'trashy'.  Whereas, I find most AW have NO IDEA how to dress.  They seem to go from church garb to over sexy clothes, while the average latina is sensually dressed most of the time.  And there is the nut....

For me, american women have lost their sensuality.

So to spend time with AW, I genuinely have to lower standards of behavior, loooks, conversation, and most other ways.

Ciao

[mar33]

... in response to Re: (unwilling to) lower our expectation..., posted by Locii on Nov 13, 2003

Locii,
     I would'nt say AW do not dress sexy. In fact, many are actually wear their pants so low they need a  bikini waxes. But I think the attitude of many young AW is what is a turn-off. Most  do not know how to be coquette,mysterious,sexy.Also, the really pretty girls seem to thrive on attention.
     "Girls gone Wild" videos and now "Who wants to be a porn star" so forth made money because many AW are all about "showing off" and not  not thinking about what their families would think. I would hate to raise a daughter in this society.
   It is not difficult to get a very attractive AW. In fact some guys I know will get laid on a regular bases by 9's and 10's. But those are the same guys who have made it their life's goal on  how to spot girls with low self esteem and use them.
  I am not into head games.I would rather deal with normal women who still have morals,respect their families,don't do some kind of drugs,and beyond the stage of partying.and basically are not "all about me" types many young Aw have become.
  Also, like Ralph, I was never into the blond women most guys think are so hot. I always liked dark sultry women.It's funny how many AM will take a plain white blond, over a hot dark haired girl.
         I was watching "the bachelor" this time around cause Bob seemed like the normal average guy. He let go all of the minority girls pretty quick(but he also let the blond ones go)Well, it came down to the final 3(2 gringas,1 sexy latina) the latina has a very nice body,ok face,but seems to be a very nice and warm girl. Well, he let her go and kept the 2 white girls. One is from Beverly Hills and looks really fake. The other is a cute girl, but has no sex appeal.
    While the latina professed her love and attraction for this guy,and seemed more than sincere, Bob was more into the other 2 bland girls. It just goes to show how different people's taste are.
      Mark

[Locii]

... in response to Re: Re: (unwilling to) lower our expecta..., posted by mar33 on Nov 13, 2003

I didn't say they didn't dress sexy, I said they tend to go from puritanical style to over-sexy, totally missing sensual.  I think we are in real agreement.  Case in point was my gf from Bogota, who always looked dynamite because she simply had a sense for it; while many AW I dated with even nicer bodies somehow looked almost drab in comparison.

How many times I would pick something out only to hear "...I could never wear that...what would my friends think?"  And there you have it...what their friends think was always far more important than what *I* thought.

Ciao

[surfscum]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: (unwilling to) lower our exp..., posted by Locii on Nov 13, 2003

that a man dresses for himself, but a woman dresses for the opinion of other women.  Sometimes it is a good thing  though, that women don't always dress as their men want. ;-)

[DallasSteve2]

... in response to Re: Re: (unwilling to) lower our expecta..., posted by mar33 on Nov 13, 2003

Others may disagree, but I think that the women in Colombia wear clothing which is much more feminine.  When I went to Bogota for the first time in 1999 I knew something was very different, but it didn't quite register.  Then when the plane landed back in the US and I saw the women here again it dawned on me:

The women in the US dress like men;  the women in Colombia dress like women.

Now there are many exceptions to that observation, but in general that's my opinion.  And that disparity was even greater in Cali with it's warmer client and a (perhaps) more traditional woman.

It also appears to me that there tends to be more obesity among US women than Colombian women.

Steve

[Cherinha]

... in response to Colombian women vs. US women, posted by DallasSteve2 on Nov 13, 2003

You are correct Steve ... in regards to the way they dress and the obesity factor.  Though it is a generalization, I believe the greater percentage is true.

[Red Clay]

... in response to Colombian women vs. US women, posted by DallasSteve2 on Nov 13, 2003

[This message has been edited by Red Clay]

My wife currently works as a legal assistant for a couple of injury attorneys. Before that she worked for a chiropractor. At both places they told her, "hey no need to dress up, wear jeans if you want." Thought it was strange that she WANTED to wear her skirts and heels.

[mar33]

... in response to Colombian women vs. US women, posted by DallasSteve2 on Nov 13, 2003

[This message has been edited by mar33]

Steve,
        I agree many AW do not dress very feminine. But I think if we are talking about women 18-30, depending on where you live that is not the case. New York, Miami and California have some pretty hot women. But states like Pennsylvania,Atlanta,Washington do have many of what is described on the list.Women who are overweight and dress pretty bad.
   I had a lay-over for 2 hours in Memphis airport once and I swear I could not find a slim attractive person of either sex.I thought I stepped into some strange zone. Apologies to anyone living in Memphis.Perhaps it was just a coinsidence:).
       Mark

[Zorrowins]

... in response to Re: Colombian women vs. US women, posted by mar33 on Nov 13, 2003

It's funny(actually sad) you mentioned Memphis. Men's health on line mentioned the 100 best cities for Men's health(top of the list=Madison, Wi.) and the worst 100 cities(bottom of the list? You guessewd it Memphis-Very high obseity rates).

[Pete E]

... in response to original motivation?, posted by chevy on Nov 12, 2003

Better looking women than most of us could ever get here are available there,specically Colombia.
And I did find what I thought was the right woman.I was wrong.But I will do just what I said I would do,go get another one.Because nothing else even comes close.
And yes,OF COURSE it was failure to find what I wanted here.Why would anybody go if that was not the case?We are not traveling for the same old thing,but something better.

Pete