Help you

[bigbdm4]

Here are some guidelines for having a serious relationship with another person, even a Latin:

1)  You have to go there
2)  You have to meet his or her family, just as they have to meet you, they are just as eager
3)  You have to be accepted by the family, so don't blow it this time!
4)  You have go back every year, and bring lots of presents
5)  You have to learn the language, your teacher is your spouse.  Practice every day.
6)  You have to love the country he or she is from.  Volcanoes, mountains, rivers, or geography.
7)  You have to love the culture of that country.  Music, food, fashion, TV soap operas, the beer.
 You have to stand tall and be proud of what you have done in that country.
9)  You have to abandon the notion of cutting and running away once you have scored
10)  You have to change the world around you
11)  You have to give up your self, lay down and die, because if there is love you will live forever
12)  You have to share the ca-ca, he or she did not crash the car, we crashed the car, together as one
13)  Each day that you live is a victory of great joy, each moment is a treasure
14)  You have to love the girl or the guy, and the person's family, as your own, with all you've got
15)  You have to be patient
16)  And understanding
17)  And dedicated to the relationship

Well, that will get you started on the road to happiness.

Big B

[cancunhound]

... in response to Help you, posted by bigbdm4 on Nov 13, 2003

Remember that post earlier this year about the "list of questions" to ask a potential novia?  You know - the one that was hysterical (but meant seriously).  I would have thought that would have been an Aaron post but I didn't see the thread when I searched on his banned member name, maybe the thread got removed.  I'd love to dig that one up again for another laugh.

BigB - not knocking your post BTW.  I would however argue that #'rs 3-7 are optional: for example - I believe it would be plausible to have a serious relationship with an eskimo princess - that let's say, is from some seal bashing iceberg in the Berring Straights.  Her family may not like you, you sure as hell 'aint going back every year, screw the language, the country - well skip it, and no need to take up eating raw whale bladder or their version of polar bear piss beer.  But if that princess is hot - it could work out.

#12 would also be up for consideration.

-CaliGringo.com

[surfscum]

... in response to To the old-timers here.., posted by cancunhound on Nov 14, 2003

I never understood why you guys ganged up on BW. It was OBVIOUS that you wouldn't sit down with your woman and run through those questions. You could pick a few in advance and work them into the conversation. I've used that list and questions from other sources and they have generated some excellent conversations that weren't artificial or forced. I think they are especially useful in a long distance relationship since you can drop one into an email or letter and see where it takes you.

If anyone would like that list, I can send it to you.

[chizz]

... in response to Big Wally's list, posted by surfscum on Nov 15, 2003

Hey surfscum
could you send me a copy of that list, i would appreciate it, thanks. aristaboy@aol.com

[beenthere]

... in response to Big Wally's list, posted by surfscum on Nov 15, 2003

Yeah, I was disappointed that BW was ganged up on and chased out of here.  If I remember correctly it was mostly the doings of the "good-ole" boy network, that at times can't handle some posters who might be just as opinionated and maybe more knowledgeable on some topics.......of course, at times I question their intelligence and rational when they hold up some posters as "heroes" and go to any length to defend them, even at the expense of looking ridiculous and losing all credibility.

[zack]

... in response to Re: Big Wally's list, posted by beenthere on Nov 15, 2003

I have communicated with Big Wally via email from time to time. He had a lot to contribute to this board and I too was dissappointed that he was chased out of here.

He was one of the lucky ones who was asked to dance by a beautiful woman in Cali who is now his wife, and everything has worked out, for the most part, great so far. She learned English, is a hard worker, etc. Some of the old timers thought that he was nothing more than a gringo who got lucky and didn't have much knowledge about this process as a whole. They were offended by his "know it all" attitude and started attacking him. I don't think he was trying to be a "know it all".

Personally, I thought that was a weak reason to start attacking a newcomer who had good intentions. Sometimes I think they were just envious of how fortunate he became in so little time in this endeavor.

Zack

[valuedcustomer]

... in response to Re: Re: Big Wally's list, posted by zack on Nov 15, 2003

[This message has been edited by valuedcustomer]

The so-called “newbie” who gets “lucky” is actually the man everyone should be listening too and taking notes from.  For the most part, these boards and lists are dominated by losers who are fueled by their pain to spend long hours trying to teach others how to fail in the same way they did.  Latin Women List use to be a good source of information, but is now dominated by two guys who don’t have a clue of what they are talking about and one even sells it as a virtue that he has been searching and failing for 10 years.  The reality is that an average guy with an average knowledge of women and no serious personality defects can do well in Latin American and probably even better if he never discovers the “resources” available on the Internet.  So, I wish Big Wally and any other “newbie” who has been driven off this board for their success the best of luck.  The good-old boys' need to do away with the upstart newbie who exposes their deficiencies to the light is an old, old pattern:  the Pharisees weren’t kind to Jesus either.

[zack]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Big Wally's list, posted by valuedcustomer on Nov 16, 2003

I wouldn't go as far to call the dominaters of this board "losers", but I know what you are saying. I would rather take the advice of someone who is "lucky" but successful than somesone who claims to be full of knowlege yet continues to fail.

Zack

"I don't believe in losers. Losers are winners who don't know who they are yet"

-Tony Robbins

[valuedcustomer]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Big Wally's list, posted by zack on Nov 16, 2003

I like your summary better, it’s more direct.  But, a loser is someone who keeps doing the same thing over again even though it doesn’t work.  A bigger loser not only repeats the same mistakes but tries to teach them to others.

[lswote]

... in response to Re: Big Wally's list, posted by beenthere on Nov 15, 2003

Everybody who interacts on this board regularly and has been here for any length of time has had to endure critism at some point and time.  But when BigWally got some critism, he stuck his tail between his legs and stormed off in a snit.  There was no "good ole boy network" that ran him off.  He left of his own accord because he didn't like how we played in our sandbox.

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: Re: Big Wally's list, posted by lswote on Nov 15, 2003

If you can't take the heat,well,split I guess.

Pete

[cancunhound]

... in response to Re: Big Wally's list, posted by beenthere on Nov 15, 2003

Caution, the rules (and ya'll were doing so well):

http://www.planet-love.com/wwwboard/latin/archives/display.php?archive=000160&id=50824

As far as the list, my recollection is that it was presented in a fashion different from what's described above.  If someone has it - post it, I'll be the first to acknowledge if it were a valid tool for a first date!

[Freddie]

... in response to Re: Re: Big Wally's list, posted by cancunhound on Nov 15, 2003

It was posted last May. He mentioned in at least 3 different posts that the list was just suggested questions to start some conversations with a fiancee, not a first date or potential novia. Big difference.

Too bad he decided to leave. From what I read it looks like he had some things to add.

[DavidMN]

... in response to Big Wally's list, posted by surfscum on Nov 15, 2003

If I recall the discussion correctly, some posters actually knew of people taking that list on a date. I don't know if that's urban legend or maybe some guys are so socially challenged that it's true?

Anyway, you're right...the list can be a good reminder of important subjects to discuss over the course of a few days, weeks, or months. Several years ago there was a popular book out called "The Book of Questions" dealing with similar issues - relationships, sex, money, terminal disease, children, all kinds of what if scenarios. I think the list you refer to may have been culled from this book.

In small doses, talking about these things can save anyone a lot of grief down the road. And let's face it, a large part of being a shrink or marriage counselor is getting people to talk candidly about the same sort of issues.

-David

[Pete E]

... in response to To the old-timers here.., posted by cancunhound on Nov 14, 2003

The list of questions was different than Brians post.He is talking about the guys attitude.What was so funny about that other list was for somebody to think a latina was going to go along with answering it.It was really long,like 100 questions? You would be written off as a nut before you got by number 10.But it was well intentioned and we gave the guy a hard time about it somewhat unfairly,I know I was one of the main guys that did.And then look at some questions I didn't ask.Like how often do you want sex?A truthfull answer to that would have ended it right there.
Wow,one question could have saved me so much trouble,presuming a truthfull answer of course.I bet the answer would have been hedged.About 2 months in to our marriage she said you just want sex,sex,sex.I said this is a marriage,marriage,marriage.I wasn't looking for a goddam roommate.And the actual frequency was not high all all.
Whatever,my mind keeps going back to the same thing here.

Pete