love vs. greencard

[chevy]

I have been writing a few women in Bogota. I asked two of them
why they were seeking men abroad. They both said they did not want to leave colombia but would only if they found true love. they said their experience with colombian men has not been good.Unfaithfulness,
slightly macho and controlling. They emphasized that they wanted a man they love to be faithful and sincere in their love for them.
 Thay are both mid 30's and very attractive. So, I think there are some sincere ones to be found. I think they would be faithful and loving if they were treated right. I do not think they would be high maintenance types.

[CaliAdvisor]

... in response to love vs. greencard , posted by chevy on Oct 27, 2003

What are they gonna tell you to that question "I am willing to marry foreign man that I don't really know that well because I basically want a green card." I don't think so, they are gonna have to put the best spin possible on it.

Now maybe these babes are sincere, you never know. But I am sure the thought of getting to the USA has crossed their mind as a motivation for getting involved in a marriage agency. And don't buy that whole unfaithful thing. That is a load of BS. Colombian women are notoriosly unfaithful as well.

[Hamlet]

... in response to Re: love vs. greencard , posted by CaliAdvisor on Oct 28, 2003

I never did understand the logic of maintaining that all or most of the men in a population are unfaithful while all or most of the women in the same population are faithful.

This proposition seems to be a statistical anomoly of such proportions to be impossible.

Hamlet

[Starman]

... in response to Re: Re: love vs. greencard , posted by Hamlet on Oct 28, 2003

You're missing part of the story; women who do cheat is because of the situation the men put them in. They have become bitter and eventually give up hope in finding a good man so they just look for happiness elsewhere. That's why they are so open to marrying gringos so they can achieve their dreams. This breaks the cycle. Remember the men in Latin America are very much in charge and dictate basically how this part of their culture will be. They are very self-centered when it comes to women and the roles they play.

Since education and jobs are not easily attainable, the women have no other choices...in order to survive they have to submit to the poor leadership of this sort of men.

My mother-in-law is in one such situation. Her husband is unfaithful, but she cannot get a divorce because she would be out in the streets without him.

She married him because her step-father sexually abused her and in order to get out of the situation her mother said she must marry someone and her husband is the one she asked even thought she did not love them. Eventually she do fall in love with him but now since he has been unfaithful, the relationship is much different. At her age she is only interested in stability now.

My wife has many, many crazy stories in regards to how the men treat women in her country, and I've listened to many Latin men talk about women and how they view them that validate her stories.

Tim.

[John O]

... in response to Re: love vs. greencard , posted by CaliAdvisor on Oct 28, 2003

Colombian women are "notoriously unfaithful." Compared to what? Mexicanas? Filipinas? Gringas?

Which, countries, if any, have faithful women? Please share with us.

[Kiltboy1]

... in response to Re: love vs. greencard , posted by CaliAdvisor on Oct 28, 2003

Iam sure getting to the USA has crossed there minds, but no more then getting to Colombia and the land of coke bottle figures has crossed ours. We are all human. I am married to a woman that has an ex that is a mafioso and punched her in the stomach when she was pregnant. I believe the main motovation is to find a man that will treat her well. Remember, there are many Colombian woman that marry European men,Canadian men , Brazilian men. I know a girl from Peru that met and married a Cuban man from Havana. Now you tell me that Havana is a gold mine of opportunity. No, she marred him becuase he was a good man and she wanted to be with him.

[CaliAdvisor]

... in response to Re: love vs. greencard , posted by CaliAdvisor on Oct 28, 2003

Ok.. Once again you guys are about as naive as it comes. Believing in all these sob stories from your friends. Ha!

I can't comment specifically on Mexico (although I believe it is probably the same) but in Colombia it is the women are the ones that are the sharks. They have tons of guys after them and they can pick and choose as they like. Maybe not the ugly ones, but any mildly attractive female is going to have plenty of options and dating one, while she has a boyfriend with the other is normal practice. Any time a women leaves a man in Colombia it is because that women has found another. Simple as that. Men are unfaithful in colombia because they know that their women are unfaithful and "caprichosa" or capricious. In spanish that means they basically do what makes them happy regardless of the consequences.

As soon as you guys come to the reality of this, you will be a lot better off.

[chizz]

... in response to Re: Re: love vs. greencard , posted by CaliAdvisor on Oct 28, 2003

My other post didn't come thru, so i'll try again. I must comment on this topic, because I have alittle experience with it. While I was in Barranquilla, I was with a friend of mine who did not go to meet anyone in particular, but just to have a "good time". He met about 7 women, all either had a boyfriend or were engaged to someone in the states. This did not stop them from going back to his hotel room. This experience had me thinking about the "legendary" loyalty that colomian women are suppose to have. In regards to to what caliadvisor said about colombian women, I do agree somewhat. However, just like here in the united states, I don't think it's fair to generalize a whole section of women. If I met someone who had a boyfriend or was engaged, and she wanted to go out with me, I wouldn't think twice about telling her to take a hike. Simply for the reason, if she would cheat on another man she would cheat on me, because i'm no special than anyone else. thanks.
Bryan

[chizz]

... in response to Re: Re: love vs. greencard , posted by CaliAdvisor on Oct 28, 2003

d

[Red Clay]

... in response to Re: love vs. greencard , posted by CaliAdvisor on Oct 28, 2003

[This message has been edited by Red Clay]

"that whole unfaithful thing" is based on the experiences of the women I have known from all over Latin America and Mexico. None of them belonged to an agency, except a few that were signed up with a site that sells addresses. Most are/were friends or customers and of course one with alot of horror stories is my wife. Try telling them that it's all a load of B.S.

[Starman]

... in response to Re: Re: love vs. greencard , posted by Red Clay on Oct 28, 2003

Exactly my experience. If you don't believe this, then either your a dumba**or you have no experience down there. All of the women I've met have been through many failed relationships with unfaithful men while they were 100% faithful. I'm sure there are women that are unfaithful also, but it is predominately the men, NOT the women.

Tim.

[mar33]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: love vs. greencard , posted by Starman on Oct 28, 2003

Starman,
 While I believe the women you met were faithful to their men. I do think a lot more cheat than we think. Let's just say if 70% of men and women are married. Are the huge amount of men  only cheating with the women who are single with no boyfriends? Therefore,the 30% of single women who should be dating the single men are now cheating with 2-3  married guys at a time?
 If a majority of the men are cheating on their wives and girlfriends, then many women are doing it too.
  Men readily admit to cheating, but most women deny it because of society.
 Mark33

[Starman]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: love vs. greencard , posted by mar33 on Oct 28, 2003

[This message has been edited by Starman]

You're missing part of the story; women who do cheat is because of the situation the men put them in. They have become bitter and eventually give up hope in finding a good man so they just look for happiness elsewhere. That's why they are so open to marrying gringos so they can achieve their dreams. This breaks the cycle. Remember the men in Latin America are very much in charge and dictate basically how this part of their culture will be. They are very self-centered when it comes to women and the roles they play.

Since education and jobs are not easily attainable, the women have no other choices...in order to survive they have to submit to the poor leadership of this sort of men.

My mother-in-law is in one such situation. Her husband is unfaithful, but she cannot get a divorce because she would be out in the streets without him.

She married him because her step-father sexually abused her and in order to get out of the situation her mother said she must marry someone and her husband is the one she asked even thought she did not love him. Eventually she did fall in love with him but now since he has been unfaithful, the relationship is much different. At her age she is only interested in stability now.

My wife has many, many crazy stories in regards to how the men treat women in her country, and I've listened to many Latin men talk about women and how they view them that validate her stories.

Tim.

[Kiltboy1]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: love vs. greencard , posted by Starman on Oct 29, 2003

I agree

My wifes parents have the same type of story. They are only still together because my wifes mother would be on the street without him. They both have other boyfriends/girlfriends, yet live together and do social things together, but do not sleep in the same room together. Welcome to life in LA.kiltbo1

[CaliAdvisor]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: love vs. greencard , posted by Starman on Oct 28, 2003

Oh yeah.. Why dont we go through your extensive experience on the matter than. A couple marriage agency girls told you some sob stories to make it look justifiable marry some guy they barely know? Great evidence there buddy. This is the real world. Just cause you fly a couple hours south don't think the women turn into saints.