One other thing I forgot to comment on.At the time of the second date,at the Pacifico Royale,I was the pursued one by her.I quickly threw tha away by proposing so quickly.I think its just posible that we would have a different relationship today if she had spent a couple more weeks trying to get me while I was still checking out other women.She might have develoeped alot more feelings for me.We tend to want what we can't have and not want what we can,so be too quick or accomodating works agains you.Also explains why some of the greatest playboys are guys who just don't give a sh!t,somehow that gets womens respect.I went from the catch of a lifetime to a guy trying to hard to please.
I flew back to Cali February 2.An interesting little thing happened, a misunderstanding,but it shows how far my thinking was off with reality.She met me at the airport.I was very happy to see her and she seemed happy to meet me.We are kissing in the back of Edgars cousins Volvo station wagon.She has this sexy top on,she looks really good.She points to her breasts and says "is bigger,no?. I totally misunderstood.I thought she had gone out and got a boob job just to
make me happy.And she didn't really need one,shes medium,fine.And you guys know I'm butt man anyway.I been trying to catch her in the right pants for days,I do want to show you guys.I'm a little proud,kind of like Calipro with his ex wife.
Back to the story.I even tell this guy staying at the agency about the boob thing.I am thinking wow,Bud is right,this lady really does intend to make sure I am happy.Actually it was a misunderstanding.It was just a new bra.Shows you how my mind works.
Sh has planned he wedding just like she wants.About 60 guests.Only cost me $1500 or so.She did a good job.This Notaryt marries us.It was all in spanish.Edgar was there to translate but the only thing the guy stopped for him to translate was the reasons for divorce.We just say "Si " and we are married.I have wondered alot what was really said.In marriges here there are the important lines "to love and to cherish." " and to have and to hold.Was that missing?? Didn't she get that part?
OK,reality is about to strke.One of my girlfriends had been a girl from mexico.She frustrated me no end because she didn' like any kind of foreplay,just go right for it,but that alone didn't do it for her but she wouldn't let me do anything else to try and satisfy her.I was worried it could be similar.It was and more so.What I got on my weding night,2 days after the boob job fantasy,was the most sexually conservative woman I have ever known.How conservative.I don't want to use any terms for anatomy here,but she has never "touched" me.I tried to direct her hand and she pulled back like snakebit.Never.To this day.I have been with alot of women.No one was ever that conservative.One of my friends tells me,you shoild tell her I want oral sex. Are you kiding,she has neven even touched me.So much for assumptions and hot Colombiana stories.I was way off reality in my mind.
We go to Bogata to work on the visa.We take Sebastian.We rent a suite.He is used to sleeping with his mother and just walks right in our room and almost catches us in the act.He is sleeping in the living room but is whining and Rocio has to go lay with him for him to go to sleep.She is being accomodating but no inthusuiasm.
And she gets her first taste of my anger.We stood in lines for days it seems.Every time a spanish speaking person tols us what line to be in it was wrong. say "hold it.I'm not standing in another goddam line unless I know we are supposed to be in it.I raised my voice,she was shocked.
After many screw ups in Bogota we finally leave for the rest of our vacation.We go to San Andres,Providencia and Cartegena.Her time of the month gets in our way,But even after that she just wanted to avoid me.Watch television.This is the honymoon,as good as it gets supposedly and I am competing with a goddam television for her attention.One night in Cartegena we are staying at the LasAmericas,a very nice hotel.She is watching television and I am drinking rum and coke and wanting to be romantic.After 2 hours of Novellas it 10 PM and another one starts.I grab the clickr and turn off the TV.she says "My television! " I tell her look,you need to decide what is more important,your husband or the goddam TV.I am angry.Real angry.She goes and gets a glass of water and trys to give it to me.Whats this for?She want me to cool down.
I try to Have edgar translate my frustration.She is saying things like she has no experience and doesn't know how to come to me.I am saying I got all kinds of experience.All I need ios a little willingness on her part.
So here I am,in the honeymoon,knowing I made a huge mistake.I thought about doing what I had said.Just leave her there and get an annulment.I should have.Being the nice guy just gets yiu in deeper.We had just had that big wedding with all her friends.Am I going to just send her back to momma with a note that says no thank you? I couldn't do it to her.
There are some papers I need to come home and send so she can get her visa,then I will meet them in Miami in 2 weeks and we will go to disney world and on to California.I am waiting for them in the airport in miami.I am saying to myelf thank you god for sending me this woman and this child.She walks out,I greet her.There is nothing from her,I have to press the kiss and the hug.She is just spaced,not real happy with
We go to Orlando.I rent a suite again.We hava a king sized bed.She is laying way over on the other side of it,almost falling off.I am saying that picture sort of tells the story here.We do have a good time there bu Sebastian is a pain.I am paying like $120 a day for us to be at disneyland and he just wants to look at trikets in shops.And we can't get him to leave,he just ignores us telling him lets go.Again she gets to see my anger.Again she doesn't like it.
And sex is like a duty thing to her,she really doesn't want to do it.And more than sex even how about lots of hugs and kisses and snugling? I like to sleep nude and snuggle.She puts her night gown right back on after sex and doesn't want to hug.
OK,I can almost hear the monitor sreaming at me why are you putting up with this?I did everything I could to change.The only other option would just be to send her back,and I should have.This was not and is not at all what I expect in a marriage.But I could just never bring myself to send her back.She was asking me to please be patient with her.Other people were telling I needed to be patient with her.
Starting to get a feeling why I hung in even ifit was stupid?It wasn't so easy to send her back.Not only did I not want to hurt her but I love and I like her as a person.I am hanging in there trying to do whatever I could to make it work.But without love you are swiming upstream.
More coming,California.
Pete
