I don't even know

[Pete E]

Who the hell she is.
I woke up at 3 this morning.All this stuff going through my mind.I finally got up at 4.00,couldn't sleep.Answering posts here has diluted some of the mental anguish I was going through.
But it really comes down to I don't even know who the hell she is.
There is this nice,cute,personable person,who seems real strait forward and honest.But she hasn't been honest with me.Some direct lies but just lots of avoidance and denial.
I think there is about a 50 % chance there is another guy.I don't know and would like to believe not,but she has changed so much recently.And she does all these manuvers to get away for an hour or two.My antenna really goes up.She goes out of her way to have a cover story or to be less obvious.I don't like being suspicious,I hate it,but I can't seem to help it.I just need to get the hell out of here  as soon as possible.3-4 weeks might do it.There are some important elements of my escape plan that will effect me the rest of my life,so I can't just go right now.But I need to start working real hard on them today.
Am I crazy or is this one devious woman?I don't know,my mind flops back and forth on it.Her denials are very convincing.Her friends say no,but I don't think they really know her either.I don't think anybody but her and god knows whats going through her head.
Of course the language makes it much easier to be decieved .She could be talking to some guy while I'm in the room and if she is carefull,as in no more Papi s or me amors I wouldn't know the difference.It could be pretty funny actually,pulling the wool over Pete's eyes.I can immagine them laughing about it.
Am I crazy??I think the truth lies somewhere in between nice person and cleaver deciever.
But the solution is the same.Get out of here.Totally forget her.Get another woman to help in that regard.
What will I do in the future?Just play around and try to heal my head while trying not to care  too much untill I find that person I can be totally sure of because I know on a gut level she loves me.I think some of you guys have that level  of certainty.
I been on both sides of this caring too much caring too little thing.Think I will stick with caring too little until I'm real sure.I was not real sure before.I took a  chance.I would have never believed how badly it would turn out.I thought it will either work or I will end it.I been stuck in that hell in between for almost 4 years.
And off course,yes,we are very susceptable to being used and manipulated when we don't understand the language.I think it was Dominguin who said just learning a little spanish really opened his eyes.
Calipro,I'd like to trade attitudes with you right now.

Pete

[DallasSteve2]

... in response to I don't even know, posted by Pete E on Oct 21, 2003

Pete

Every woman I've ever known who has ended a relationship has always had another guy.  They have to have the emotional support.  But 99% of the time they'll say "He's just a friend".  Later when they become a public couple, she'll say the relationship didn't get physical until after the split.  And sometimes that is true.

It's all just a way for them to avoid feeling any guilt.  It has to be all your fault.  Soon you'll probably know his name and he will be "just a friend".  I've been through it more than once.  Your best out is to ignore it if you can and start over if you want to.  There's nothing to be gained in confronting her or him.  It's over.  Long over.

Steve

[Pete E]

... in response to He's just a friend, posted by DallasSteve2 on Oct 21, 2003

Yup,
I don't even want to know.And believe me they don't want me to know.I need to get out of here fast.

Pete

[Fuzzyone]

... in response to I don't even know, posted by Pete E on Oct 21, 2003

Pete
 I don't understand something one minute you feel sorry for her the next
you think she is pulling a fast one on you?? I am going to tell you
something you need to sock it to her, stop feeling sorry for yourself. You
are a good guy stop laying down as a bath mat to this girl. To heck with
her kid, to heck with her.
Don't give her anything she came her for one reason...green card
period!!! You should have got a hint when she sung that song with your
name in it, I have a word for her actions... Disrespect... and you are
rewarding her for it... Come on dude if this was a A.W. would you be
laying down letting the b*tch take you to the cleaners? I would not.....
 One more thing Pete I always loved reading your post they provided alot
of good info please do not let her beat you down you do not deserve
this!!!!!

[Cybear]

... in response to Re: I don't even know, posted by Fuzzyone on Oct 21, 2003

Pete E.-

Your posts are extremely illuminating, as well as unsettling. I have read this forum since last year, but I only recently began to post. Your experience is sobering, especially to the many of us who see the beautiful faces of the women on the Latin dating websites and then follow the dream to Colombia and elsewhere in LA. Your ordeal is what the dating services for the most part do not tell reveal to their customers.

When I return to Colombia, I will not become cynical of the women there. However, I will consider your situation and approach each romantic encounter guided not only by my heart, but also steadfast with a clear and objective mind.
I wish you well.

Peace.

Cybear

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: I don't even know, posted by Fuzzyone on Oct 21, 2003

Yes.
And another thing she did once.She drove in the garage next to my BMW threw the door open,bashed my car and said "he no care,I no care." Lots of these things people are just now telling me.
But I still get confused,she can be so nice and deny things so convincingly I start thinking I'm the one who is crazy.
Same solution.Airplane!

Pete

[Fuzzyone]

... in response to Re: Re: I don't even know, posted by Pete E on Oct 21, 2003

I caught my wife writting other men on the internet. I was told they were
just friends. Well when she went home to see her mom she screwed one
of her friends. When I caught her... thru her e-mails she tried to lie her
way out but guess what I printed them suckers so she could not get rid
of them.... I did notice my future ex can be very good at being
convicing!!

[mudd]

... in response to I don't even know, posted by Pete E on Oct 21, 2003

pete, just a thought here, and you might have done it already... but have you told the mortgage company that you are defaulting on the loan and moving out of the  country?
i would tell them ASAP so they can get her out of the house before she trashes it, or before her new boyfriend moves in.

[CaliAdvisor]

... in response to Re: I don't even know, posted by mudd on Oct 21, 2003

Do you really want this women and her new boyfriend living in your house, driving your car, making love on your furniture for the next year? I would follow mudd's advice.

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: I don't even know, posted by mudd on Oct 21, 2003

No,
Thats just the opposite of what I'm going to do,I will set it up for her to stay as long as she can.It costs me nothing and I would probably do it for her even if there was a boyfriend.There is her son and also my dog who need the place also right now.I have been feeling bad about my dog all summer.He is a beautifull 4 year old golden retriever,the most loving animal.This place,this yard,is all he has ever known.Getting a dog is a commitment for his lifetime,one I intended  to honor.I don't feel at all good leaving him.But they love him also and I can't take him.I told Rocio I was worried about him.She says "he is the happiest guy,no problem."I tell her you don't understand.Most landlords won't take a dog and you can't even afford a minimal apartment.My son has agreed to take him as a back up plan if they don't have a place for him.
I was just speculating I could change my mind if I found out about a boyfriend.Even then I would probably not be vindicative and try to purposely hurt her.Just not my style,ever.
And I'm not ready to default on the mortgage,I'll still need my credit for now.
As far as trashing the place,thats not like her,she is a neatnic.And it doesn't make any difference anyway.They will not even pursue a default judgement(where I could possibly have to pay them)because they would have to do a Federal mortgage forclosure for that.Takes about a year longer than a trust deed forclosure,and then they would never collect.I don't plan on ever parking any assets in their reach.
And,she has an outside chance property values could go up enough for her to be able to sell it and get some money.But not likely once all the back payments,interest and foreclosure costs kick in.I used to be on the other side of this.I would follow alot of properties,show up at the courthouse steps with cashiers checks,and they would hardly ever have the sale.Postponed,postponed,postoned.Only bought one house that way.
I don't want to fight.I don't want to know.I just want out of here.
I'd rather think there is not a guy,and there at least half a chance that is true.But why was it bothering me so much last night?Enough of a concern it was keeping me awake.

Pete

[Bueller]

... in response to Re: Re: I don't even know, posted by Pete E on Oct 21, 2003

Pete, as a Golden owner (actually times two if you count the half-breed I left with friends in Seattle), let me say these people don't deserve your dog. Another alternative: the Golden Retriever Rescue Network is based in Sunnyvale, you could practically walk there with him, and they are very selective about who they will give a dog to.

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: The dog , posted by Bueller on Oct 21, 2003

Rocio and Sebastian both love Buddy,our Golden Retriever,and he loves them as well as me.
She may not have treated me right but she does treat Buddy OK.
I originaly promised Sebastian  a dog because they had to leave theirs in Colombia.And my last dog had died a few years before but I didn't get another one right away because I was working so much.But now I have the house and the family and I want a Golden Retriever.We went to look at puppies and this one picked out Rocio.Just glomed on to her.She is charming!I said I guess this is supposed to be our dog.Rocio is still his favorite person.She said,"he choose me,you just pay the money." I say I know,I wouldn't take him away from you.
I'm really not sure how much she intended with all that has happened.But she does love that dog.
No,I wouldn't take him away from her,I just hope they can continue to give him a good home.If not my son will take him.His golden Retriever just died this year.

Pete

[Bueller]

... in response to Re: Re: The dog , posted by Pete E on Oct 21, 2003

I'm still laughing about what mine did today. We were outside in a plaza near my house downtown, and a little girl of maybe two and a half walked up to Schatzi with a lollipop in her mouth. Don't know where she learned this one, but Schatzi decided the lollipop looked good, so she yanked it right out of the girl's mouth and ate it. Poor kid started crying and it didn't help that I was laughing. Bought her another one and she seemed OK.

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: The dog , posted by Bueller on Oct 21, 2003

Gotta love dogs.I wish women were so simple and loving.

Pete

[H2Oh]

... in response to I don't even know, posted by Pete E on Oct 21, 2003

Pete, actions speak loader then words. I guarentee Rocio has some guy on the side and has had one for over a year. You are one of the nicest guys I have met but you need to continually smell fresh coffee. Rocio AND her family have played you like a fiddle. I want to bet you that within a month or 2 Rocio and her family will call you in Cali looking for money. Some lame excuse......the dog has a brain tumor or something.
I wish you all the luck and good fortune that life can give you. I would like to invite you to Christmas at our house in Cali. Just let me know,call me.

Your friend, H2-Oh