I don't even know

[wealthquest]

... in response to I don't even know, posted by Pete E on Oct 21, 2003

I have been a lurker for sometime now.  Only posted once, saying I didn’t see how not having sex before getting married was possible.  Oh, I got accused of just wanting to go down for a “sex vacation”.  But it was a serious question.  I want to know everything I can about someone before I get married.

I give Pete a lot of credit of having the guts to spill his story here in public.  I now know for myself that everyone is a suspect before they become a prospect.  It would take me several years to make 100 grand.  That is so unfair.  You hear a lot about men taking advantage of women, but rarely do you hear about it vice versa.  My own thinking reading Pete’s side of the story is that she deliberately used the system to get what she wanted, and she wasn’t even willing to reciprocate.  That person has major karma debt to pay.

I was wondering if, when she eventually gets thrown out of the house, will be able to go after Pete’s pension?  If she doesn’t have a job, I guess the American taxpayers are going to have to foot the bill to provide for her and her child.  Doesn’t seem fair to anybody.

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: I don't even know, posted by wealthquest on Oct 21, 2003

About the pension.She can not get at it,it is protected  by federal law,except possibly in the case of the IRS.
I did sign an affidavid of support.My understanding is if she ever gets public assistance they could come after me for what the public agency paid her.If this was somehow done through the IRS,maybe,just maybe, they could attach money from my pension.But I doubt that would happen.She will be working I'm sure but won't make nearly enough to live here.She hasn't figured that out yet.She will get about a one year transition while she strill hass the house,but just paying the utilities will be a shock for her.
The beauty of my escape plan is I will have no money or assets anywhere they can be touched.Its pretty easy to do if you are willing to leave the country and your income source is untouchable.

Pete

[JSlo]

... in response to Re: Re: I don't even know, posted by Pete E on Oct 21, 2003

Pete,
You have been both a positive influence and a poster boy for what not to do. What you have to do now is solidify your plan and stick with it. Think of all the times in you life that you have helped someone, well this time that someone is YOU! You owe it to yourself to have a plan a, plan b, plan c, and others if necessary to extricate yourself and recover from this trauma. This episode has been played many times in the past and it is high time for you to turn that anger and resentment into positive energy that will enable you to soar to new heights. This board may provide a temporary escape, but do yourself a favor and make sure you receive counseling to get rid of the anguish brewing inside. You emotions are still in overdrive and I would suggest that you make sure you have someone you trust assist you in your decision making process at this time. I am pulling for you and wish the very best for you.
JSlo

[Kiltboy1]

... in response to Re: Re: I don't even know, posted by Pete E on Oct 21, 2003

Pete

I have enjoyed reading your posts like everyone else, but remember the old saying " LOOSE LIPS SINK SHIPS " . I would be careful about what you tell on this board. You never know who is looking at the posts and could use against you in a goverment freud case . The goverment is EVERYWHERE these days , so a someone who might eventualy be in your boat , BE CAREFUL !

[lswote]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: I don't even know, posted by Kiltboy1 on Oct 21, 2003

I don't think he has to worry about government fraud as nothing he said could be construed as fraud against the government.  You are allowed to stop paying your mortgage and let the property be foreclosed on, no fraud there.  He is allowed to invest his money in foreign interests.  No fraud there if done legally.  Perhaps his wife might get more insight from reading this board and if was so inclined could change her divorce tactics.  But frankly, from what I've read, Pete's wife could come out a lot worse if she fought the divorce as Pete could basically show assets versus debt and she would come out with nothing.  But that kind of a divorce would mean time, and Pete wants to leave and head to Latin America, not sit in San Jose for a year or two while he slogs through a divorce.  So trying to give her a favorable divorce situation serves them both and I think the situation he proposes is legally and morally fair.

[Kiltboy1]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: I don't even know, posted by lswote on Oct 21, 2003

I am speaking of letting people know where he is hiding(bank acount)his money. You never know how the long arm of the goverment can extend, but i do agree that his wife will be left holding the debt, but a good left coast lawyer might could prove Pete delibertly tried to impoverish her because she wanted a divorce.

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: I don't even know, posted by Kiltboy1 on Oct 21, 2003

But,
The good left coast lawyer would get nothing,there is nothing he can go after for money.He would lose interest real quick,if they don't smell money you can't get them to return a phone call.
But,looks like we can do a uncontested divorce.We can use a paralegal do a Nevada uncontested divorce.
I got her convinced I think,and I told her absolutely the truth how it can work,one way or the other.
Not your typical guy stays here works and gets screwed,every way but litrally.

Pete

[Kiltboy1]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: I don't even know, posted by Kiltboy1 on Oct 21, 2003

Pete

I dd not in my last post insenuate you tried to impoverish your wife. I just meant a lawyer might could present things that way. I feel for you and wish you all the best.Breaking  thngs off is never easy and i am experiancing that now with my wife. On one hand, you know divorce is the best thing, but on the other--if you are a decent man, it is tough to throw her to the wolves so to speak.

Good Luck to you Sir.

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: I don't even kno..., posted by Kiltboy1 on Oct 21, 2003

Thats not what I am doing.Even though she doesn't deserve it I can help her out at no real cost to me.And there is her Sebastian to consider.
I don't want there to be any questions about my behavior,including on the way out.
I was thinking last night though,if I found out for sure about a guy would I do it different?Maybe so. I don't want to know and she doesn't want me to know.So she should cool it for a few weeks.
I could be real dirty if I wanted to.One friend said sell the car,and all the furniture except their beds.And I could just sign the house back to the bank,she would be out in a month,not a year.But I don't want to do that.Not worth the mental anguish.So if you read this Rocio,cool it if you
are doing anything.

Pete

[Bueller]

... in response to Throw her to the Wolves?, posted by Pete E on Oct 21, 2003

I'm getting furious reading about this, and it's not my marriage. The plan was supposed to be she married you for love (correct me if this is mistaken). If she doesn't love you and never did, she should head back to Colombia: there should be a clear "This is life with me, this is life without me" picture. She might be humiliated, but how are you feeling? And now you're the one heading back to Colombia...not that that's entirely bad.

 Well, OK, just venting here. Like mom used to say, "Always let the other guy be the a-hole."

[Pete E]

... in response to What mental anguish?, posted by Bueller on Oct 21, 2003

Should be headed back to Colombia?
Yes I agree.I would like to put her right back where I found her,minus everything I gave her.
But,she is now a permanent resident.She can stay if she wants,and she does want to stay.Can't take it away from her now.
Even in the first 2 years they are supposed to,leasve if yoiu split but there are ways around that.And the INS or whatever they call themselves now,doesn't seek out people to deport in most cases.We have about 10,000,000 illegal aliens here.
So yeah,its doesn't seem right.But thats the way it is.And If I was going to stick around she could alimony for half the time we were married.Even more not fair.But thats the law.
But,except for the anguish over the possible guy,I have just been willing to say thats what we did.Win some lose some.
I was talking about my mental anguish,the kind that hit me at 3.00 AM this morning,not being able to let go of the guy suspicions.

Pete

[Kiltboy1]

... in response to What mental anguish?, posted by Bueller on Oct 21, 2003

I agree with you 100% . I have told my wife the same thing, but she has told me she will not return to colombia and she will go illegal if she has to.I spoke with Gary Bala , my immigration attorney , who is vey good by the way, and he told me as the law states , she does not have to leave america and is not required to return to colombia. She has been here 8 months and can request that she stay here because she entered the marriage in good faith. Pete's wife has been here 5 years if i remember correctly, and she has no problem staying. So , as good as it might sound, if the woman is smart , she knows that it is extreamely difficult for her to be deported after she has her green card. I agree with you that it should be diffrerent--BUT IT AINT !!!!

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: I don't even know, posted by Kiltboy1 on Oct 21, 2003

Your right,I said too much already.
And once before I said if it was wartime some ships would be on the bottom.
But I don't plan on having any issues with the government.
I owe $16,000 taxes right now.I'm going to pay them.I might owe something for this year and that should be it.After 2003 I don't think I will even have to file a US return if I am a resident of another country.
I need to ask my tax person that and some other stuff.

Pete

[Wanderer]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: I don't even know, posted by Pete E on Oct 21, 2003

Pete,

When I lived in the middle east for several years, I was still required to file my federal tax return. I did not have to file state as my residence was in Nevada and we have no state income tax.  Check with your accountant to be sure.

Good luck in all your future endeavors!

Wanderer

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: I don't even know, posted by Wanderer on Oct 21, 2003

DenverMike told us a story about avoiding a US return working in Chile,first yea r by not spending more than 30 days in the US,the next year by declaring himself a resident of Chile.In the old days when I knew people who worked over seas the rule was if you were out of the country more than 6 months you paid no US taxes.No one wanted to take a job for less than 6 months.
But yes,I need to go to the source.One phone call and I will know for sure.

Pete