To Pete E

[Brassa]

Pete. I hesistate to get involved yet at the same time i see someone who`s pain has gone public and it appears to be some sort of cry for help...One i seem drawn to answer. Forgive me please if i make the wrong asertation. One other thing that makes me hesitate to get involved is not knowing two sides of one story so i must assume and trust that you spoke the truth.
For what its worth which could be little or plentiful i submit my offer of advice or opinion.

I may have missed some details in your situation that has me questioning why you are not selling your home. Is there equity in your home? Why not consider selling the home and splitting the proceeds. This is taking care of yourself and your wife and stepson. Why would you walk away from a home and willingly destroy your name? I am perhaps ignorant and missing a detail here or your not thinking straight because your stressed or confused. Both (my error and your mental state) of which is understandable and possible.

You would be doing a gentlemanly thing and continuing to assist a mother and her child and protecting yourself. What love is there to give in this world if you cannot even give yourself some? Have some respect for yourself. You can help everyone here.

Someone has used you for their interests and mocked you and you will allow this to happen and give them more. It dont understand this. I do respect and understand and admire your decency in helping your wife and her child. You do owe her this as a human being. But you dont owe someone the destruction of your life as a sacrifice for thier betterment

I even read a little about you displacing your beloved LOYAL pet because of what someone who is suspected of not being loyal to you is doing. I dont hold animals over humans but help this woman and her child. But dont sacrifice and displace yourself and another that has been loyal to you for someone who has not and has mocked you in the process.
Where is your red American blood?
May i be forgiven for stepping in where i perhaps do not belong or am misinformed and this is not my nature. But i would want someone to open my eyes when i cant see.No matter how much i might initially resent it.

[HeyNow]

... in response to To Pete E, posted by Brassa on Oct 22, 2003

Brassa,
 I don't think you understand.  If Pete sold the house to pay off the debt his wife would start screaming loudly 24/7.
When someone is screaming loudly it is very difficult to concentrate on anything.  Trust me.

[Pete E]

... in response to To Pete E, posted by Brassa on Oct 22, 2003

Thanks for your comments.
I can't really sell the house and get any money out of it right now.If I held out to spring I might be able to sell it and just pay off the debt.Not likely even then I would see any money and in the meantime I'm feeding it $5620 a month,staying here working while my marriage is the pits.And if I don't leave then alimony is par of the equation.
So the idea came up,just leave,let the credit go down with it and even use the credit I now have to my advantage.
I have been ready to get out of this for a long time.The next step was always so troublesome that I wasn'twilling to move forth untill I came up with this plan.
Staying here,trying to work to keep things afloat while they probably just get worse and facing a divorce here just don't look attractive.
Plus I'm ready for a change,even if she was not part of it.I can live many places in the world very weel on my pension and I am tired of struggling to make it here while time marches on and I just get older.I really can't picture the good life here.
They love the dog just like me.The only issue is their ability to take care of him.Plus I don't think I can take him with me.Maybe later if I'm in the right place I can take him.My son will always be a back up for my dog.He said don't worry about that.
And part of what seems like a generous plan to take care of them is self serving.I don't want a legal battle.She is being nice to me right now.I think she likes the exit plan and wants me to stay on that path.At first I thought she was trying to come around,patch it up again,but thats not it.She doesn't sleep with me any longer,a sign that its over for her also.And I like that alot betterr thasn sleeping together if she has no felings for me.Its much easie that way.
Did I answer or just wander around?

Pete

[lswote]

... in response to Re: To Pete E, posted by Pete E on Oct 22, 2003

Pete, I was curious if you knew how a foreclosure looks on your credit history versus a bankruptcy.  Would you be worse off just declaring bankruptcy when you get settled in Latin America and your credit is not as essential to you, or is it better to deal with the effects of a foreclosure on your credit history than a bankruptcy?

I was under the impression the clock sort of resets itself in a bankruptcy situation and after a certain point and time your credit can be almost free of the effects of a bankruptcy if you develop good credit habits again.  Isn’t it that after 7 years you don’t even have to mention the bankruptcy on your credit history anymore?  But I don’t know if the effects of a foreclosure without bankruptcy clears off the books as quickly.  I had a car voluntarily repossessed in 1980 and I kept mentioning it for at least 10 years afterwards on credit applications and no loan officers ever told me it was unnecessary to mention.  It was only after I saw my credit reports in 1991 when I was trying to by a house and saw no mention of the repossession on any of the reports that I stopped mentioning the repossession on loan applications.  And no creditor never brought up the repossession to me or denied me credit because of it when I stopped mentioning it, so I am thinking I created my own problem by mentioning it.  But as I said, nobody ever said not to mention it either whereas I thought there were actually laws about when you have to report bankruptcies that might actually make a bankruptcy a more favorable situation than a foreclosure.

Please don’t flame me as stupid if I sound that way, because I admit to being ignorant of the law, but I am not stupid, just uneducated on this point of law.  I am great at logically thinking myself from point A to point B, but I learned a long time ago that laws and logic often do not go hand in hand and only experience will tell you what the correct legal answer is (often school of hard-knocks experience).  Logic is not the right tool for finding legal answers.  That is why so many idiots have been able to succeed as politicians because intelligence is generally not a prerequisite.

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: Re: To Pete E, posted by lswote on Oct 23, 2003

Bruce,
I've done a bankruotcy before.The a 2 diferent types of personal bankruptcy.One stays on you credit 7 years,the other 10.But you can get new credit after 2 yeasrs,even buy a house but you will pay up for interest untill it totally drops off.Its not as bad for your credit as 10 differet companies reporting defaults.
But,you basicalkly have to have no assets.The court wants you to tell them and if you do not you can get in big trouble.Usually you can keep your house under a homestead,but you have to make the payments.And your credit is dead when you file,just as it becomes if you have many 30 day late payments.
I have a sceme I am working on but reconsidering that will generate some money.Maybe I will maybe I won't.I will not step over the line to anything that will cause me trouble with the law.Still trying to decide.But it was part of the beauty of the escape plan.In addition to my untouchable pension.

Pete

[roadken]

... in response to Re: Re: To Pete E, posted by lswote on Oct 23, 2003

Bankruptcy's stay on for 10 years.All other credit dings stay on for 7 years.The bankruptcy will have a worse effect on your FICO scores than a foreclosure but not by much.Both are very serious but will diminish with time.The worst part about foreclosure's are all the 30 day lates that will be reported.If it was my credit,I would deed the property back to the bank.It will still by you 2-3 months before they actually take possession.regarding Pete's ex,if she doesn't already have a sweetie she will have one soon.She is 37 but looks 27,lives in an area where there is the WORST shortage of women in the country where she is already very desirable.
Pete,stop worrying about her and take care of yourself and your future.You are no spring chicken and there only so many opportunities left.

[markxport]

... in response to Re: To Pete E, posted by Pete E on Oct 22, 2003

Hi Pete,

Just out of curiousity, why don't you do one of the following before you leave.

1. Notify the mortgage lender that your going to default and turn the house over to them now.

2. File bankruptcy and be done with your creditors before you leave.

I really don't think you owe your soon to be ex any real favors.  Not critizing you or her, just concerned that this is going to bite you in the *ss if you try to just walk away.  

This is just my opinion, but I would think its better to deal with the financial BS now and be done with it.  At least the clock towards erasing your bad credit history starts now rather and a year to 18 months from now.  It may not appear to be a big deal now, but 7 years from now it might make all the difference in the world.

I wish you all the best in future, and I hope you continue to contribute to this forum.

Take care,

Mark

[panol11]

... in response to Re: To Pete E, posted by Pete E on Oct 22, 2003

Pete,

I very well understand you. What you are going through is really traumatic. Your reactions are typical for the stressed out person. In normal situations, when things are OK or so so OK you are very logical guy. Really. When shocked with life damaging situations...you loose the distance.
I do understand that time is an issue for you here. As several people stated on this forum I recommend you to have a step by step analytical approach to your problems, with cold blood. I think that you have to do mathematical calculation with a pen in your hand of your costs / benefits for each scenario. How much for the house now, how much later? What would be the loss. Is loosing credit worth it or not? Are you sure foreign country will be good for you? Part of the attraction for latin women is the fact that she can go to the US...are you ready to give this point up? I agree with Christian values...(but it is just my approach). Spanish...is a must, if you want to figure out the girl. There is no other way if you want to have serious relationship...at least according to my rules. Do you see an excitement or boredom when you talk to the girl? Is she picking up your subject or just answering. Finally, the age - I hate this topic but I agree...not just for the sake of sex but also common language...it has to be reasonable. Do not be fooled by what other people say...Warren Buffet said a good joke: Old old rich guy asked his young beautiful girlfriend...Would you still love me if I lost all my money? The girl answered: Yes darling, even without you I would still love you...
I know about the marriages between 21 year old girls and 50 year old guys in Colombia, working marriages I mean. But theeese are real exceptions. This is the first point. The exceptions are on both sides...that the girl loved the guy and that the guy found a common language with the girl. The younger girl you want...the more good communication you need to have with her...hence living in the country and speaking language is a must...if you are hunting for a true love. You know all these things just need to calm down and think. Even write the things on paper. Make a mathematical plan for emotional life. You need it at this time.
Finally, Pete, to make you feel better:))) I am also in the life damaging situation right now and have to make decisions like yourself. So...if you want to hook up (I live in the East Bay) or talk over the phone...please let me know.

[cancunhound]

... in response to Re: To Pete E, posted by Pete E on Oct 22, 2003

The pension is basically not assignable, with exception of a divorce (QDRO) - and can't be pursued by creditors.  However, I would think that caution would have to be utilized as to where that pension gets deposited.  My concern would be that depending on the severity of creditors and their pursuit and eventually ending up as a name on some federal list - this could snowball into your name getting placed on the US Immigration sh%tlist, leading to detainment upon reentry and/or problems with oversea embassies?  I've heard of that happening for seemingly petty "alleged crimes".  That would really throw a monkey wrench in the works.  I also wonder how you'll address the federal withholding on the monthly deposits - is there a way around that?  Before heading off to the land of Caleña - get that passport reissued for a fresh 10 years!