Relayed post by JF

[DOMINGUIN]

... in response to Re: Re: Let's Extinguish this Flame Befo..., posted by jim c on Oct 23, 2003

jimc:

You and I are talking past each other.

Let me just ask you this.

If two weeks after you first realized that your marriage was toast, and someone had come along and said: "Hey Buckwheat, stop feeling sorry for yourself, its been a whole 14 days, get over it, time to move on"...what would your response have been?

Dominguin

 

[jim c]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Let's Extinguish this Flame ..., posted by DOMINGUIN on Oct 23, 2003

I certainly wouldn't encourage him to disrespect her or tell him he had been used. No one here knows what the lady is or was thinking during her relationship with him and to reinforce his doubts or jealousy is not our place.I am sure Pete expected nothing different from me and understands my intentions. I get no pleasure from hearing others personal secrets and expect adults to work problems out with out publicly condeming people they loved in the past. The sooner the thread is stopped the less embarassment there is later. I really detest reading the posts from some here venting their personal anger while encouraging the distraught person. The good old boy crap about she took advantage, she only wanted the green card, they are all alike. The attitudes of these walking wounded really comes out during these type of issues. jim c

[DOMINGUIN]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Let's Extinguish this Fl..., posted by jim c on Oct 23, 2003


jimc.

What you detest reading is not important. This board is for men to communicate, there is no prohibition against a man telling his side (and granted its only his side) of why a marriage failed. I don't know what happened in the marriage, have never met either husband or wife, haven't taken sides, simply supported Pete's right to post his story.  

If you detest reading "a soap opera", then don't read it.  But you went public on the board, trying impose your own values of privacy, "knowing what is best" and what is an appropriate topic.  

And you're wrapping yourself in the flag of a friendship/relationship with Pete to justify the very harsh sounding advice you gave him.  Pete doesn't have his email address posted, but if you had asked him for it on the board, he would in all probability have given it to you and then you could have given him the harsh advice privately. And that would have been between you and him.

But you went public on the board, you wanted to excercise your right to vent, just as much as Pete exercised his right to vent.  

And that is hypocrisy.  

And...you're busted.  

Dominguin  

[DallasSteve2]

... in response to Re: Re: Let's Extinguish this Flame Befo..., posted by jim c on Oct 23, 2003

Dear Tough-Love Jim

You wrote: "he is breaching that contract even though he knows better"

What contract?  The marital contract?  My ceremony didn't include the part where they say "I will never discuss our marital problems with other people, especially if you betray or use me."

Now there's some crap.

Steve

[jim c]

... in response to Contract?, posted by DallasSteve2 on Oct 23, 2003

The contract that says there is trust and privacy in a marriage. In your opinion are all deals are off if she dosn't love you forever. Do you personally know that Pete carries no blame for any portion of his break up?? How would you like it if your ex got on a forum and told all the ladies that you couldn't get it up and you never brushed your teeth or washed your backside.  There is an understanding that what happens behind closed doors remains there. An intelligent person understands that it takes two to tango and does not take sides in a relationship.
   There was a guy on this forum that went on a two week rant about his estranged wife and said very uncomplimentary things about her. Guess what, he went back with her and I met her later. It was embarassing for me because I knew the things she had done. He is still here but posts rarely. I said the  same things then about washing your dirty linen in public. I think it is wrong to encourage a distaught person to reveal his personal problems in public just so you can express your opinion. Thats mine. jim c

[Red Clay]

... in response to Contract?, posted by DallasSteve2 on Oct 23, 2003

?

[Zorrowins]

... in response to Re: Let's Extinguish this Flame Before I..., posted by DOMINGUIN on Oct 22, 2003

I know Pete is hurting big time right now. Look he's lost the woman of his dreams(Ok maybe a while back this happened, but he kept trying and praying to get her back). He also has lost well over $100,000 too. All of his dreams of the future he had have been tossed out the window! So here he is in great emotional pain! Lesser men would become suicidal! To keep such power emotions bottled up is NOT healthy(read heart attack,etc). Venting is healthy. How would any of us feel in his situation! So let's all rally around Pete and be as supportive as possible over his grief! He really has had a major tragedy!

[david hagar]

... in response to I  appreciate Pete's posts, posted by Zorrowins on Oct 23, 2003

Pete

Next time, you get married buy a small house or trailer out in the country and see if she loves you for you or your material possesions.  

Beattledog