newbies questions

[kevin c]

hello to all , ive followed the board for some time and finally been able to get registered

my big consideration is this  as i live in a rural area 35 minutes from malls, nightclubs ect  is there anyone on the board thats married someone that lives in an area like this  

it seems that all the agencies ,and most the ladies no matter what country are from major metropolis areas  even if its 3rd worldish

im picking between colombia,peru,and ukraine  but this problem would be the same if i met a lady from  NYC or LA  

any input  thanks kevin

[Craig]

... in response to newbies  questions, posted by kevin c on Oct 6, 2003

When I brought my fiance over from Cali I figured that living in Florida was as close as she could get here in the states to Cali. I was very wrong. First understand that Cali is a big city in Colombia. With that they have public transportation. This was a problem for her because she was dependent on me for getting around which she disliked. No public transportation in Florida unless you live in the major cities Miami,Tampa, Orlando. The weather was a problem, even though Cali is hot it's nothing compared to a Florida summer. She had problems with the intense hummity and could not function well with the air conditioner on . Mine was on 78. They can't stand the cold either. Cali is a very temperate climate I find when I'm there I never needed air conditioning. It can get hot in a cab but other wise I was fine. So if you get my point it takes a special girl. She will over look the climate, language problems, food differences, transportation, employment difficulties, medical/drugstore requirements, licenses, seperation from family, money planning/spending/saving and home sickeness issues If she is not in love with you truely... you will find out very shortly. I speak from experience.

[Red Clay]

... in response to newbies  questions, posted by kevin c on Oct 6, 2003

For what it's worth, my wife is from Lima. She lived the typical big SA city lifestyle there. Now in Tennessee after 3 years of being here she says she would never want to live city life again. We live on a 3 acre lot, densely wooded, with another 40 wooded acres next door and behind. When the leaves are on the trees, you can't see any other houses from ours. We have great neighbors but all the homes on our road have at least 2-3 acres. Lots of deer, turkey, gunshots are from hunters and not criminals.

Now when we drive through a new subdivision she says "oh, those houses are very near to each other". We are only about 20 minutes from downtown Nashville, but our home has an isolated feel. My wife seemed to love it from day one, guess I'm lucky. She immediately began to learn how we drive here and become familiar with the main roads around town, something that was very important to helping her not feel too lonely while I was working. We have had 2 German Shepherds since she came, another important factor for companionship and protection for her. Heck, for  awhile at first I was traveling alot during the week and she was home alone and STILL loved it here, although she missed me alot during that time.

Be honest about where you live and discuss the differences with her, but mine adjusted beautifully to rural living.

Actually she is the one who kills the few snakes that happen too close to the house, lol.

[Golden]

... in response to Re: newbies  questions--Nooo problem in ..., posted by Red Clay on Oct 6, 2003

Hey, by the way you will have to come over to the new house after we get moved in. We just closed on it last week. We should be moved in within a couple weeks. You and C will have to come over for dinner so you can check it out.

[Red Clay]

... in response to Re: Re: newbies  questions--Nooo problem..., posted by Golden on Oct 7, 2003

I was wondering if you were there yet or not, we would love to see it. Are you moving yourselves or having it done?

[Golden]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: newbies  questions--Nooo pro..., posted by Red Clay on Oct 7, 2003

We are doing it ourselves. We dont have to much to move. I hope to be done within a couple of weeks.

[JimmySTLOUIS]

... in response to newbies  questions, posted by kevin c on Oct 6, 2003

Hi

I also had a lot of trouble signing up for this forum.

The girl that I am involved with is from Lima Peru (San Martin De Porres). I have wondered about some of the things you mentioned. WHen I talk to this girl I found out that she walks everywhere. She is 19 and goes to the university and walks to the internet cafe etc.

I live in a very typical suburb area of St. Louis. I live with in 1 mile of the grocery store but people here drive everywhere and walk only for exercise. I am trying to explain this to her just so she knows. Americans are funy like this.

I could imagine that Lima Peru might be more like Europe where people walk everywhere and take the bus etc. Here only poor people take the bus. I know that if I lived in an area that was like Europe city centers that I would have a hard time adjusting to the suburbs.

Living out in the boonies would be really hard (i would think) for someone used to city living.

Since I am so new to this I dont have any real advice but I do wish you luck.

jim

[Golden]

... in response to Re: newbies  questions, posted by JimmySTLOUIS on Oct 6, 2003

Yeah, my wife use to walk everywhere in Lima, or take the bus. She had to learn to drive here, which she has done fine with. The driving part isnt so bad. Its the thought she would get lost that scares her, but she has learned to get around and has a cell phone. (plus she learned to read a city map with the roads) She still likes the feel of the city though. I just bought a house 10 minutes from Downtown Nashville. We talked about it, and we both agreed to live closer to the city. She loves to be close to places to shop and eat. She is not to crazy about the country. She thinks its pretty, but doesnt really want to live there. I exposed her to it, and she wasnt to keen on it, so we moved to an apartment near the city. She liked that a whole lot better. After that, we both talked about it and agreed to get a house close to the city. I think you have to talk it over with each other and decided where to live, and if moving isnt an option...then you need to let them know what its like where you live. I knew I was flexible in this area. I was in an apartment, so it was easy to tell her "if you dont like where we live, we will move"  I'll say this, its a factor you have to discuss. They are in culture shock when they first come here.

[DallasSteve2]

... in response to newbies  questions, posted by kevin c on Oct 6, 2003

My wife's sister married a man who lives on a farm outside a small town in Texas.  She's from Cali.  She hates it.  She's still with him after 1 year, but I wouldn't bet on it lasting 5.  

You need to be honest with these girls about where you live and you need them to be honest with you about how they feel about it.  There's the rub.  While they're waiting for the visa they may not be honest.  After they get here you'll find out.

Steve

[Cali vet]

... in response to newbies  questions, posted by kevin c on Oct 6, 2003

this is a problem with Latin American women. You simply can't meet a montanera or country girl in Cali, Barranquilla Bogota or (my guess) Lima. I had the good fortune to meet one through a friend who lives in a village in the mountains two hours north of Cali. She knew all about growing coffee, killing chickens, poiionous plants in the woods and could really hike my arse off on long uphill climbs along a muddy trocha. I took her to a beach & jungle destination on the pacific coast and when we weren't in the water we were hiking jungle trails. Here's the rub. It's hard to find a pretty one. The problem with village girls is that if they're pretty they're either taken or they're putiando by the time they're fifteen. My little montanera was twenty two with an eight year old son. She was great company in the out of doors but not very attractive. I took a Cali woman on a similar trip, she saw a snake and wanted to change our departure flight to right now!!! and was freaked out that her cell phone was out of range.

[Onephd]

... in response to newbies  questions, posted by kevin c on Oct 6, 2003

Just because the women currently live in the city now does not mean that they want to live in the city in the future.  I live in a small college town(450,000).  I don't plan to continue to live here after graduation, but I think most likely I will live in a similar size town in the future.  

I often ask women when I meet them what they prefer.  I have only met one that had a strong preference for a Bogota like city.  The rest prefered something close to the city but not in the city.  Don't let where you live not go after this dream.  The best thing is to bring some post cards of your city when you visit and show the women. Learn the demographics of you city and the opportunities for a Colombia, Peruvian or Ukrainian woman.

Hope that helps.

[Michael B]

... in response to Re: newbies  questions, posted by Onephd on Oct 6, 2003

I don't know what they teach you about geography or demographics in Michigan, but 450,000 is not a 'small' college town. Now Tahlequah, Okla (9,000) would be a 'small' college town. But that's just a little friendly banter, not a flame.

Over to Kevin's question. Not that it won't work, with the RIGHT woman, Kevin, go check the Asian archives for postings by Febtember, she lives on a farm near what appears to be a 2,000 town and she loves it (and she was a big city girl in her home country). OTOH, Dantee brought over a Russian woman to his farm and she couldn't stand the isolation and it didn't work out for them (if I remember right, they never married, she left during the 90 days, but she was honest enough to just leave instead of marrying him and taking him to the cleaners). I don't think Feb. succeded because she is Filipina nor did Dantee fail because she was Russian, it depends on the indivual woman.....some of the agencies advertise 'if she really loves him, she will follow her man ANYWHERE' and they're right....but if she doesn't...well. You didn't fill out the profile, so we don't know how old you are, where you live (except 'rural'), if you speak Spanish etc. and these are factors also. I think it can work for you if you are up front with the women about your situation. Not just 'well, I TOLD you' and she said 'no problemo', but make sure she REALLY understands the situation.

[kevin c]

... in response to 'Small' town?, posted by Michael B on Oct 6, 2003

sorry about the profile i think there were some server problems for a while so after filling out the registration form the first couple dozen times i quite filing every thing in lol.

but to shed some light on things im in ne ohio im  somewhat near many major cities  but my area is under 10,000 and quite small

i realize it would be a case by case basis and women from no particular country would be better or worse

im just assuming that women from smaller areas would be better off as it would be one less major adjusment in their
life

therefore im wondering if there was a good way to meet several in a smaller area during one trip

[cancunhound]

... in response to Re: 'Small' town?, posted by kevin c on Oct 6, 2003

A town like Cali has received much immigration of recent due to problems in the countryside - so it's not impossible to encounter a "country girl" there.  Problem is they are probably not going to knock your socks off like the native Calenas who have been on a "glamor" quest all of their lives.  Having said that, I did hook up one of my buddies with a gal from the countryside just by coincidence - Also you will find that city dwelling Calenas have a bit of a snotty attidude when it comes to the "country" gals.

You clearly have an uphill battle if you intend to plant a city gal in the country - whether they're from Colombia or the USA.  My guess is the older the better your odds.

[Cali vet]

... in response to Re: Re: 'Small' town?, posted by cancunhound on Oct 6, 2003

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