need to know the truth

[chizz]

Hello my friends,
I've been reading the posts here for quite some time, but I haven't found one that dealt with my dilema, so I will try to explain it. I've recently come back from barranquilla, and I had a good time, since I didn't really expect anything. Now, the reason I had went to barranquilla and not cali or bogota, was because I was told that the women in cali,and bogota had become to "americanized" and a majority of the women want white men, and not "morenos" like myself. I went to brazilgirls.com, and actually purchased some addresses and phone numbers, and believe it or not the first four ladies told me they didn't want a black man. Now, to be fair to the site, I told them exactly what happend, and they gave me some more addresses and phone numbers to make up for it, but the damage had been done. I'm writing this because I am going to cali in december or january, and need to know if I will be wasting my time. I don't want to get down there and hear that crap about not wanting a black man. Anything, anyone can tell me would be greatly appreciated. I will be using latinencounters and allcolumbiangirls as my agencies. I would appreciate any info. thanks guys.
Bryan

[Ricardo]

... in response to need to know the truth, posted by chizz on Oct 7, 2003

Thanks for the report.  I am heading to Barranquilla in the next few months, I would like to talk with you about your experience, further, you can email me... Good luck in your search.

[senge]

... in response to need to know the truth, posted by chizz on Oct 7, 2003

Because they need to be weeded out.  I suspect that the same women who don't want black men probably don't want latin or asian men either.  A white American man is considered a prize catch to most foreign ladies who have been brainwashed with the 'white is right' ideology so prevalently exported by the USA.  

I also suspect that the women who are racisit/predjudice and who only want blond/blue/caucasions are the same ones who will cause divorces 2 or 3 years down the line.  In order to have a successful marriagen, you must have a truly good woman.  And a truly good woman will not have racist intentions.  Since racism and predjudice represents significant flaws in character, you can conclude that these women would not make good marriage partners for any man, regardless of race.  

So, in essence, these women did you a favor by self-eliminating, and saving you the heartache a few years down the line.

[Cybear]

... in response to Racist LW are actually good things...why..., posted by senge on Oct 8, 2003

I am an African-American professional (lawyer). I have traveled to Colombia (Bogotá and Cali) twice and plan to return this November. During my first trip to Colombia, I noticed a negative media (television and some movies) slant as to Colombians with dark complexions, as well as an undercurrent of racial discrimination and prejudice. This did not shock me because I know racism and bigotry do not have borders. In my opinion, Latin American economic class divisions are more pronounced than those based on caste. Nevertheless, the class and caste disparities have a negative impact on the overall society. This reality is more apparent in Colombia with its sizable population of blacks and the significant intermixing that has occurred among indigenous, African, and European peoples there. Notwithstanding the political, economic, and social realities of Latin American life, as a black man with a brown complexion my experience was for the most part positive and enjoyable in terms of dating a variety of Colombian women. I met Colombianas of every shade and the vast majority of them were warm toward me. Colombian women are so beautiful it would have been disadvantageous to restrict myself to one type. If a woman's complexion was dark, tan or fair I let nature take its course and I was not hung up on the issue of skin color. If any  of the women did not like me solely because I am African-American, I would not let that deter me. After all, everyone is entitled to follow his or her own mind - whether that perspective is broad or narrow. I choose to approach life with an open and adventurous mindset. My advice to my black, white or brown brothers is to pursue your dream of meeting a Latin Princess, no matter what her hue.

Peace.

Cybear

[JSlo]

... in response to Re: Racist LW are actually good things....., posted by Cybear on Oct 10, 2003

Very good post and well written. Although you are a lawyer you hit the nail right on the head. ;-) Couldn't resist! What you've stated applies to any region in the world. I look forward to future posts.
JSlo

[Red Clay]

... in response to Re: Racist LW are actually good things....., posted by Cybear on Oct 10, 2003

Excellent post.

[valuedcustomer]

... in response to Racist LW are actually good things...why..., posted by senge on Oct 8, 2003

This sounds like a sour grapes attitude, i.e., you reject me, therefore you are bad.  A marriage partner is a very personal thing, and everyone has the right too chose who they want.  Alot of men will reject a woman because she is 5 pounds overweight, doesn’t have blond hair, or the right breast size.  Surely, race is at least as signficant as that.  I don’t think any of this is relevant to moral character.

[senge]

... in response to Re: Racist LW are actually good things....., posted by valuedcustomer on Oct 9, 2003

Didn't say race preference...I said racist.  there's a difference.  I have a ethnic/race preference for latinas.  But, I am not racist towards other groups.  So, hope that cures your confusion.

[valuedcustomer]

... in response to well..., posted by senge on Oct 9, 2003

But it seems you are defining them as racist, just because they don’t want you.  I don’t see any objective test here to distinguish between preference and prejudice.  In other words, it’s: She doesn’t want me, therefore she is bad.  

During my college days, I would get interest from women of other ethnic groups, like for example, Chinese lady friends trying to avoid tyrannical number-one sons and Jewish ladies trying to avoid neurotic mama’s boys.  The fact is that white men have a reputation for respecting women and treating them as equal partners.  Why blame us for being good?  A woman is just like you in that she wants the best life for herself, and doesn’t want to be dominated and abused.  So, if she has a choice, she goes for a husband who she perceives will treat her with respect.

As for a young black man, I think that he will be able to find a good woman in Colombia.  If he is a professional, respectful person there will be a woman who will see this and quickly revise any pre-conceived ideas she may have.  I also saw many beautiful middle-class looking black and morena women in the stores, streets, and on the beaches when I was in Cartagena a few months ago.

 

[Red Clay]

... in response to Racist LW are actually good things...why..., posted by senge on Oct 8, 2003

To many of them it's not that "white is right", it's that Latin men are, in their words, too often unfaithful and generally don't treat women well. That is the overwhelming reason the ladies gave that I wrote to/met/married.

[chizz]

... in response to Racist LW are actually good things...why..., posted by senge on Oct 8, 2003

You're absolutely right, when you put it like that, it makes alot of sense. Very well said.
Bryan

[DallasSteve2]

... in response to need to know the truth, posted by chizz on Oct 7, 2003

I'm posting this merely as a window into what other Latin Americans may be thinking.

Telemundo is currently showing their version of the Bachelorette, in Spanish.  (Cenicienta = Cinderella in Spanish)  There is one young Mexican-American princess who must choose from about 15 bachelors.  

One of the recurring themes on the show revolves around the one bachelor of, shall we say, dark skin color.  He remains among the 6 finalists.  

Her family is there advising her who to choose every day and her mother and brother are constantly advising against this young man.  They say they are not racists, but that they don't want her to "suffer".  They say she will be ostracized by many people if she chooses this man.

If you understand Spanish it's an interesting show.

Steve

[luvslife]

... in response to need to know the truth, posted by chizz on Oct 7, 2003

Just curious,
Have you ever ruled out the Colombiana negra, because you prefer the morena with the long flowing black hair?  I would not take it personal, you are looking for someone that wants to be with you.  Preference is just that, the woman has a preference for asians, or whites, or black men.  Look for the lady, that is looking for you.  You will do fine.  Learn how to dance salsa, I am.

[Kiltboy1]

... in response to need to know the truth, posted by chizz on Oct 7, 2003

Hi Bryan

I met my wife at LE and also know Ricardo from ACG very well .

when i was there , there was another man who was having the same problem as you.

From the time i was there, i do know that many women expressed not to date a man of color, but you need to remember that the women of cali seem to have this thing about blonde hair and green or blue eyes , and you need to be tall as well. I think it is all the European TV they look at as well.

On the other hand--there were several girls that in there profiles or by Margi knowing the girls , that only wanted to date a man of color ,and there were some stunners in that bunchas well-heck--i even got a little pissed myself as i was really attracted to several of them.

Bottom line

Tell Margui and Ricardo prior to you going that they need to Pre-Screen the girls for you as to the color issue.
They will do this for you and you will have a good time.

Do not worry about this issue, as they are not very racist in colombia , but are more concerned with social class then color.

Andy

[chizz]

... in response to Re: need to know the truth, posted by Kiltboy1 on Oct 8, 2003

Hello andy,
That sounds like a very good idea, I think I will do just that. I don't mind if some of the women have preferences, because we all do in our own way. My thing was traveling a couple thousand miles, and finding out my skin color was keeping me from meeting good, quality women. I will definately heed your advice. thanks
bryan