need to know the truth

[Onephd]

... in response to need to know the truth, posted by chizz on Oct 7, 2003

Hey I have to be short as I am in
Colombia now visiting for the third time.  

Basically, I had the same concern as you about two years ago when i started reading this board. Luckily some people like Hiker, Abrutha, Hoda and Aaron gave me good advice, which was to go for it.  I visited Brazil last year and this is my third trip to Bogota this year.  

Essentially, race matters to the ignorant.  simply put.  Contrary to what you might want to believe, about half of the women I met in Bogota would be considered white.  I am brown skin about the complexion of Denzel Washington(not even morena).  I only met one lady that changed her mind after she found out I was a black man.  It happens.  I also met women that didn't want a man after they saw he was very pale too. So it goes both ways sometimes.  

I can't even say its worse for Black men than for white men because my experience has been good.  Don't get caught up into all the hype about which men have it better (white or black men).  Its a moot point. Women love a true gentleman above all things. If you have a good education, manners, dress appropriately, and are respectful to the women and their culture then you will not have a problem meeting women regardless of where  you look.  If you look for the right things in this process then race is never a factor since generally more educated, mature women that are also, more closely matched to your hobbies interests etc. won't have an issue with skin color. (ex. if the lady loves to dance and you don't or prefer quiet evenings at home, then things will eventuallly fall apart I think). If you are just going by looks and body in a photo album, then you are just pissing in the wind and pure randomenss will ensure you meet women that have preferences, and those that don't, as well as ensure that you meet women that really don't fit what you are looking for. yes physical beauty is a part of the equation, but its not the only variable and probably not the most important one IMHO.

To handle your concerns, do what I do. I use letter correspondence to know if a woman is right.  Being right includes: her being ok with my race, my high education, age, professional dreams, family dreams, etc.  I don't discourage people fromm walking in an agency and meeting people cold, but I do think its somewhat risky given the amount of time a person has there.  There are many more things than race that will cause you feel a person is not a match for you or vice versa. Many of these things can be discovered from a letter or two in my opinion.  Yes its time consuming, but you are talking about a wife and lifetime mate here.  Not trying to kick anyone when there are down, but the last few days have demonstrated that we can not be too careful or work too hard in finding the right person for you.  It takes time, patience and some luck I guess.  Your feelings are normal I think.

Learn Spanish!!!!!  Get on the plane.  Don't be fooled.  This is a hard process and you must first know yourself before you can know someone else.  Be honest with your desires about a wife and a family.

Regarding Brazil, you disoovered what I alrady knew. There are many places where race is not a big deal in Brazil.  But frankly and quickly speaking I believe race is more of an issue in Brazil than Colombia in my opinion.  Brazilians equate race with class sometimes. well manytimes I think.  But there are good women there.  Now there just isn't an infrastructure in place to meet women.

I started with Brazil but figuured out that Colombian women appear to be more sincere about relationships of this type.  Granted this is a generality. Take it with a grain of salt.

Learn Spanish and you will lots of options(Peru, Colombia etc).  

I can chat with you later if you like when i get back to the states.  hang in there and Learn Spanish (did I say that already?)

gotta go now.  
chat later

[chizz]

... in response to Re: need to know the truth, posted by Onephd on Oct 8, 2003

I'm glad to know that I wasn't the only one with this concern. I was hesitant to bring it up because I did not know how everyone hear would take it, but I hope everyone can understand what I was trying to say. Yeah, Brazil disappointed me, but I did have a great time in Barranquilla. I'm actually taking spanish classess now, and I am now up to intermediate, so yes, i am learning spanish(I learned in barranquilla that this is definately a necessity). Once again, glad to know someone has been where I am, look forward to chatting with you again. Enjoy your vacation.
Bryan

[Cherinha]

... in response to Re: need to know the truth, posted by Onephd on Oct 8, 2003

.

[zack]

... in response to need to know the truth, posted by chizz on Oct 7, 2003

As you have already discovered, latinas love to dance. If you are going to Cali, I would go to a disco in addition to visiting the agencies. I went to a danceclub in Cali a few years ago and I can honestly say that I have not seen so many knock-outs in one room in my life. Since you know how to dance, that is a huge plus, as you have already found out. I read a few posts recently about a guy who married a knockout that he met at a danceclub in Cali.

I don't know why you aren't returning to BQ considering your experience there. Good luck with your trip.

Zack

[chizz]

... in response to You might want to consider..., posted by zack on Oct 8, 2003

hello zack,
You are absolutely correct in your assesment. Latinas love to dance, and dance and dance! I think if my spanish had been better, I'd done much better. I did have a very nice time in BQ, but my friends want to try cali, and I've always wanted to go. I'll always have BQ, and will probably go back. thanks for writing.
Bryan

[bigbdm4]

... in response to need to know the truth, posted by chizz on Oct 7, 2003

If you are young and tall and handsome, have a good position, come from a good family, race does not matter, you don't need an agency.  Just go there and walk down the streets and you don't even need to wear a lot of metal on your body, because lightning is going to strike you regardless.  It might be at a bus stop.  I have encountered so many beautiful girls at bus stops, or it might be in a restaurant, it might be anywhere.  The big question is where.  Which country.  Why Colombia?  Why not Panama or Brazil?  If you go to Colombia for the agencies, buyer beware.  And travelers going there beware.    

Please consider the future relationship.  If you marry the girl, you ultimately say I do to the family, the place, the culture there, the cuisine, the music, the fashions and even learning the language.  Personally, I chose Brazil for all of those reasons.  Btw, did you see the Brazilian singing "The Girl from Ipanema" at the White House last week?  Well, perhaps my words can shed some light on the subject of location, location, location.  Marry a girl from Colombia, and you are going to have to live with that.  Taking her back for a visit is not a happy thought.  Marry a girl from Brazil and every time you take her home to Mama, it's a trip to paradise for you.    

I know about the agencies, but I am not here to bad mouth any of them, but for one.  Brazilian Singles.  There is a dot br after the dot com.  They are just a mom and pop operation out of Sao Paulo, they don't speak a word of English, and all of their girls come from other agencies.  And they don't have anything good to say about Brazil Girls.  Brazil Girls is such a wonderful agency, who cares if less than half of the girls answer, or even if the hot girls are real or not, they will give you addresses and telephone numbers for free if you call and complain.  You can call their girls in the middle of the night and speak to the mother, who won't understand a word of English, but she is sure that your call is not welcome.

To know the truth is too simple, that's why it is so elusive.  Go there, get off the airplane, and have some fun.  Go to the hotel and take a shower and then go out.  The girls are everywhere, more in number than men, they are eager to know a nice guy.  Only fat pigs and crabs, losers, liars, louses, mosquitoes who eat and run, and ugly walruses need to engage an agency, Oh, and bargain basement bride shoppers.  

Now that I have offended everybody, I will conclude by saying that you don't need any agency.  OK, so you can engage an agency in the beginning, just to get started, like for example writing to the girls you find at some agency web site.  But that is a lot different than participating in a group grope with girls previously unknown, furnished by some sleazy agency in some flea bag hotel.

I have to go now, my beautiful Brazilian wife, C, just returned from the college.  She is singing and dancing, and giving me Brazilian style embraces and kisses.  

Big B      

[chizz]

... in response to Re: need to know the truth, posted by bigbdm4 on Oct 8, 2003

Wow, tell me how you really feel..lol
I noticed a little of that in barranquilla, because when I got off the plane, the girls in the airport were awesome(but no english). I think an agency is a good place to start, to get yourself situated. Congrats on your brazilian wife, I'm sure she is a knock-out.Hopefully I'll have that same blessing. Thanks for sharing your story with me.
Bryan

[Cherinha]

... in response to Re: need to know the truth, posted by bigbdm4 on Oct 8, 2003

hmmmm... some of what has been said, well... not worth my time to comment or reply to.

HOWEVER, Woman from all corners of the earth, and every country, and every city, are unique in their own way.  Same with men... There are good and bad, and great and not so great homeland cities and towns to go back and visit.

I came to Brasil for many reasons, and I am staying for even more reasons.  That doesn't make any other country less or more.  I love it here.  The men and woman are beautiful, they are kind, loving, attentive... the scenery is beautiful... etc. etc.

I have never been to Colombia... but someday would like to, so I do not talk and give advise and comparisons on it.  Have you been there... more than just a vist, and know?!?!  Every country and every city has it's good and bad... some more than others.  I only ask that you respect others views and opinions, and cultures as you post.  We are NOT here to write and read destructive non-informative postings.  Every person for that matter has their own "jeito" in finding that special someone.  What ever that is... I wish only the best for them. Some of your other posts had great links, and information.  Please keep it that way.

Thank you... and as another poster put it so well.... Peace!!  Cheryl

[Wanderer]

... in response to Re: need to know the truth, posted by bigbdm4 on Oct 8, 2003

"Only fat pigs and crabs, losers, liars, louses, mosquitoes who eat and run, and ugly walruses need to engage an agency, Oh, and bargain basement bride shoppers."

Couldn't that also be applied to a person who runs an agency???

[Bueller]

... in response to Re: need to know the truth, posted by bigbdm4 on Oct 8, 2003

Say, B, isn´t that a picture of you and C on the Brazilian Singles webpage? Shouldn´t that "they" you refer to be written as "we"?

 You know, if your track record spoke of credibility, you wouldn´t have to invent it this way.

[jim c]

... in response to Re: need to know the truth, posted by bigbdm4 on Oct 8, 2003

Look payaso there are many of us here that have experience with your posts. Most of us chose to ignore you a long time ago and write you off as a nut case. The difference here is Patrick will ban you. So clean it up or better still GET HELP jim c

[CaliAdvisor]

... in response to Re: need to know the truth, posted by bigbdm4 on Oct 8, 2003

The only thing bad about Brasilian women is that it is pretty common knowledge that a lot of them are S*L*U*T*S. Sorry buddy, but I had to take you off your high horse.

[Cherinha]

... in response to Re: Re: need to know the truth, posted by CaliAdvisor on Oct 8, 2003

Interesting... I have no problem in de-horseing at this time... but should it be done at the expense of others??? How many times have you been to Brasil to make this assessment?? I was not aware that is was "common knowledge"?  Aren't there "s*l*u*t*s" EVERYWHERE??  And "ladies".  "a lot of them..."??  I have read some very good posts by you, and been impressed.  Disappointed.... Cheryl

[lswote]

... in response to Disappointed, posted by Cherinha on Oct 8, 2003

Cheryl, CaliAdvisor is a poster who was banned under his old id of Aaron.  He sometimes posts very good content but more often than not, is insulting, unsympathetic and downright heartless.  I was wondering how long it would take before he started the bad behavior again as he hadn't posted for several weeks and then had a couple weeks of reasonable posts which is often how it is with him.

[CaliAdvisor]

... in response to Disappointed, posted by Cherinha on Oct 8, 2003

Dont be disapointed Cherinha. Just throwing a common conception amoung Colombians out there. If you want to know the country, you have to know it all, the good, the bad and the ugly. I guess there are other ways to get this guy down from his high horse, however, he needs to recognize that every group has their faults and Brasilian women are no saints.

As for why I put ** between the letters, it wasn't to make a point, it is because this board is designed to not allow certain words posted. Without the spaces, the post would have been rejected. Sorry if I offended you.