??? for the veterans of SA women

[kevin c]

after reading the board here for some time im a little doubtful as to a benifit for myself to go to SA in search of
im  in my 30's and have primarily been dating women in there mid 25 - 30 range  .  I have a good enough combination of looks , money and personality to have always dated EXTREMELY attractive women .
when i read how you guys describe the girls of Cali they sound as high maintnence as the american women ive been dating .
its not that i cant handle hi maint. women but it would be nice to be
appreciated for doing all the maint.

[denvermike]

... in response to  for the veterans of  SA women, posted by kevin c on Oct 9, 2003

Hi Kevin,

MOB stands for Mail Order Bride, which is a highly inaccurate term for foreign internet introduction services.

High maintenance is not easy to define.  It can mean requires lots of money to own and operate, or it can mean diffcult to be with in everyday situations. I have dated some women in SA thar are both.  

I can relate some of my own experiences. I have dated lots of LA women from several different coutries. It is hard to stereotype for one thing. But in general, I would say that an attractive, young, latina looking to meet a gringo is more likely to be materialistic than a less attractive LA women, simply because they have more choices.  

In LA, the man is expected to pay for everything, dining, dancing, taxis, flowers, special little gifts, man you name it, you pay for it.  The idea of going dutch treat or helping to pay for a taxi would be considered absurd by most LA women (afterall you are the one with the money). There are exceptions naturally but they are centainly in the minority in my experience. If you are a cheap bastard you can forget dating a really attractive latina.

You are also expected to be passionate and romantic (a hard concept for most AM).  Remember most latin men are very romantic and passionate during the dating game. Things change after the wedding though.

On the positive side, if you take a pretty lady out to dinner, show her she is special, go dancing, spend a few bucks on her, you are pretty much guaranteed to have the night of your life later on.  How many first dates have you had with AWs where you had sex? Be honest? I know I am old but I can't remember very many in my own experience.

However, when dating a woman in Chile, sex on the first date is pretty much assumed.  If they weren't interested in you, they would not have accepted the date.  Plus for me living here, they know if a guy has some money, it is the man who has the choices not the woman. If she plays hard to get, I will simply find someone else, and they know it.

One of my jokes that is not too far from the truth, I like to take the lady to the mall and when we walk by a nice shoe store, if she does't flinch, she a keeper!

Humor and BS aside, It really depends on what you are looking for. If you are dreaming of that trophy wife that will make your friends jealous and that the AWs back home will hate, you can find it, but expect a roller coaster of a relationship.  But there are lots of semi-good-lookers that will make a far better wife in the long run.  It is your choice.

mike

[CaliAdvisor]

... in response to  for the veterans of  SA women, posted by kevin c on Oct 9, 2003

You picked up on a good point there Kevin. The women of Cali are generally regarded as very "complicated". In spanish this word when refering to a women basically means high maintenance, wishy washy etc. Its a fact of life in Cali and something that diferentiates the women there from the other regions.

But if you have no problem meeting hot women in the USA, then you probably don't need the services of a marriage agency. Just go to an upscale resort in latin america and you should meet plenty of women. Or go to Miami for that matter. If you really have 0 spanish then a marriage agency might be useful in Colombia. But in other countries where english is more widely spoken, you might be ok without it.

[zack]

... in response to Re:  for the veterans of  SA women, posted by CaliAdvisor on Oct 9, 2003

If a man has no problem meeting beautiful women in the USA, that doesn't mean he is home-free. No matter how good of a catch a man is, it is still hard to find a beautiful woman in the USA who is appreciative, not a gold digger, has a heart of gold, and isn't arrogant. IMHO, although it isn't easy to find this kind of woman in Colombia either, it is still easier than in America.

Zack

[zack]

... in response to  for the veterans of  SA women, posted by kevin c on Oct 9, 2003

Yes, there are a lot of high maintainince women in Cali, but I still think they are less hi maint. and more appreciative than American women. It makes sense when you compare the difference in lifesyles. I have also dated extemely attractive American women. They were more high maintanance than any Colombian woman I've dated.

Believe me, when you return from Colombia, your opinion of American women will never be the same.

Zack

[surfscum]

... in response to  for the veterans of  SA women, posted by kevin c on Oct 9, 2003

Kevin, there are PLENTY of other places in SA to look for women. I met an extremely decent, loving, attractive, sweet-disposition woman in Peru and we're engaged. Patrick has mentioned the women in Guayaquil, Ecuador; Brazil is a world to its own, Denvermike is in Chile, Ralph is in the Domincan Republic, another member is about to bring his Venzuelan fiance here, etc.

But perhaps the question is what are you looking for that AW don't have and that you think you may find in SA?

[kevin c]

... in response to Cali is not the center of the MOB univer..., posted by surfscum on Oct 9, 2003

what id be looking for that i cant seem to find is this

i dont mind pampering but i think it should be appreciated not expected and def. not demanded

like i said i dont mind hi maint. women  if there is appreciation ect. basicly it would be nice to put effort into a relationship with someone who is not just looking for the next, bigger better deal to come her way

and what is MOB ??

[Freddie]

... in response to Re: Cali is not the center of the MOB un..., posted by kevin c on Oct 9, 2003

Kevin,
It's not that Latin women are really high maintanence, it's just that some will try to push it to see how far they can go.

It's sort of like a child, they want guidelines from their parents but they will push the edge of the envelope to see how far it stretches.

Yes, there are the "gasolineras" that will try to get all they can and not give it a second thought.

Yes, Latin women can be "high-spirited" and they can have tempers. It's in their culture. Many Latin people (male and female) can get quite animated in their actions when arroused. That is what makes them a caution when they are mad but also adds to the passion when they are in love!

Latin women, like most women, like the feeling of security. Their culture says that the man is the head of the family. It is a macho culture. That said, it also means they expect the man to take charge, pick up the tab and pamper them. In return they will (usually) cook, clean, make love, take care of the children and take care of you.

Of course there are exceptions to everything and the culture is becoming more "Americanized" (unfortunately). I guess this is due to the influx of American TV, movies and magazines.

It also depends on how the girl was raised. If she is from a family that had a maid, cook or housekeeper and she's never had to be responsible for anything herself she's probably not going to like living in a situation where she is suddenly the cook and housekeeper. It may be the USA but the day to day life is no Disney World.

They might come here with unrealistic expectations of what day to day life will be for them. Maybe the stars in both person's eyes kept them from seeing that once all the work of getting them here and the novelty of it all wears off and reality sinks in it's not the panacea they dreamed of.
It ain't going to be a life with Joe Millionaire.

BUT, in my opinion, Latin women still beat the majority of American women you're likely to meet.

Make the trip and see for yourself. You can't fully understand or appreciate what others say until you've been there yourself.

Keep in mind you will still find a range of personalities. You will still have to do some work to find the one that really meshes with you. But at least you will be giving yourself a much greater chance of finding the right one for you than you would in the hit or miss dating life in the U.S.

Good luck.

[Cali vet]

... in response to MOB=mail order bride. My thoughts., posted by Freddie on Oct 9, 2003

Freddie that was an excelent summation of Cali women. Anyone new to Cali and it's women should pay close attention to Freddie's overview.

[Freddie]

... in response to MOB=mail order bride. My thoughts., posted by Freddie on Oct 9, 2003

Maybe guys have differing opinions about American women because they've had failed relationships or marriages.

Maybe they've had enough of the attitudes and general BS from American women and they've decided to try their luck outside the boundaries of the USA just to try and open up their options.

Everybody has their own reasons for looking elsewhere for love and companionship. I guess you can't really appreciate it until you've been in that position.

Personally I had put up with all the middle-aged American women and their baggage that I was willing to deal with. I was tired of competing with them and tired of being held accountable for every guy that had done them wrong in their past.

Granted, I only had a small sampling but after two marriages and a handful of relationships I was ready to look somewhere else.