First Post - my story

[JimmySTLOUIS]

Hi
I have been trying to register to post here for some time. I appreciate all of you guys that post here. I have been reading EVERY post for 8 weeks.

I began my search in SA after reading this board. I thought long and hard about Columbia. After someone here posted a postive story about Peru, I decided to look there. I went to matchingsys.com
I sent off a couple e-mails and I also had my profile sent out on the mailer from them. I made a list of at least 40-50 girls that I thought were nice. I picked the top two and e-mailed them both.
The one girl was very very cute and it said that she spoke english.

To make a long story short. I have been writing this one girl for about 5 weeks. We talk on the phone, Yahoo messenger, Web Cam, e-mails, and letters. I really really like this girl and she feels the same way. Her family is very close and they all know about me and say hi on the phone etc.

I am have a trip booked to Peru in November. I do not speak spanish and have never been to SA. My girls english is really good because she studys at the university in Lima. I cant wait to see her in person! If all goes well I will return in Jan. to ____________.

She is a lot younger than me but she says that is not a problem for me. She has seen me 10 times more than I have seen her. (Web Cam on my end and me sending digital pics of daily life). I am 36 and she is 19. Her cousin is engaged to a gringo from Oregon so she knows about how it works.

Thanks again to all of you guys. I am on top of the world right now - anyone want to play devils advocate?

Thanks again
Jim

[Patrick]

... in response to First Post - my story, posted by JimmySTLOUIS on Oct 2, 2003

You're pretty much following the same method I used 7-8 years ago.  The only difference is that you have different expectations.  I went expecting only an interesting vaction with a friend already there who could show me around and a chance to practice my Spanish (I was taking classes at the time).

I would make every effort to keep your expectations low and not count on this woman being "the one."  If your only goal in traveling is to meet the future Mrs. JimmySTLOUIS then you'd probably be better served by using a different method.

Best of luck in your search.

[Red Clay]

... in response to First Post - my story, posted by JimmySTLOUIS on Oct 2, 2003

Hi Jimmy,
My wife is from Lima, we met by writing like you.

I would go ahead and stay at your hotel as planned, at least the first few nights. You need a little time alone each day to mull over the day's events. It really does sound like both of you are thinking too far ahead. When you get to Lima and realize how much attention you get in public from the local women, and how easy it can be to talk to them with a little Spanish, you might wish you had a little free time to check out other opportunities. Heck, I struck up a very promising conversation with a 22 year old Peruana on the flight from Houston to Lima. Wound up next to each other on the plane, she helped me with my customs paperwork during the flight. She was from the jungle originally and was finer than anything I ever dated here. So before I even landed in Lima, stuff was happening that made me glad I wasn't too tied down at that time.

Much of Lima does look Third World, but your girl will know where the nice parts are. You will see a level and a volume of poverty beyond anything you have seen here, but there are some nice, upscale places there also.

Weather in their spring and summer is very nice. November will be Spring for them. It is cool and overcast, gloomy and misty in their Winter. The drivers are very rude and reckless by our standards, but somehow I never see anyone getting mad about it, they just kind of deal with it. Used to it, I guess.

Good luck and have fun.

[Georgina]

... in response to First Post - my story, posted by JimmySTLOUIS on Oct 2, 2003

I really hope everything goes well between you and your gal.

I, however, recommend you not to stay in her house. It is a no no if this is the first time you are going to meet her. Could you imagine if you accept staying in her house and things don't work out between the two of you and you are there staying with her and her family? Also, you will feel more free to do other stuff when she is not with you. Just hunging around and seeing places. I hope the hotel you mentioned is in Miraflores. Miraflores is really nice and have those little nice places you can check out.

As the other, I will recommend you having back-up plans. I think you will be able to decide from day one if you and her hit it off. Otherwise, just swing by the agency and have them contact other ladies you could be interested in meeting.

The age issue? I met my husband when I was 22 and he was 36. It depends of the people involved in the relationship.

Also, I was checking matchingssys.com and notice that they charge the ladies $45 for being a member. Not many agencies do this. I think this is good, because somehow this weed out the girls who are not serious about this process. In Perú, $45 can represent in most cases, 50% or for many even 100$ of your paycheck.

And just remember don't settle for less than a lady totally crazy about you.

[Cherinha]

... in response to Re: First Post - my story, posted by Georgina on Oct 2, 2003

I hope everything works out great for you on your trip!!!  What ever the outcome with this little lady, you will get an opportunity to see how amazing SA and the people that live there!!!  I agree with the others to keep your options open if for some chance the chemistry is not the same as it was on the phone -chat.  You will find that Latinas from SA are very warm, beautiful and very affectionate with their man.   Good luck, and keep us posted!!!! Cheryl

[Red Clay]

... in response to Re: First Post - my story, posted by Georgina on Oct 2, 2003

Great minds thinking alike at the same time, lol.

Hope you and your family are well Georgina, we are going back to Lima in January.

[Georgina]

... in response to Re: Re: First Post - my story, posted by Red Clay on Oct 2, 2003

Thanks. We are fine. My mother is staying with us until the end of October. My husband and she get along great. They sneak out the house on the morning on the weekends and have breakfast without me. Having her around is a lot of fun and she helps me a lot. I don't know if I said it here, but we have a baby boy now. He is almost two years old and very cute, but demanding. We got a new house and as an "added bonus" I got a lot of yard work to do, but I am excited about it. Love Seattle and the coming winter. I just wish there were more Peruvians in this area. I want to got back to Peru, soon. Lucky you. Say hello to Carmen for me.Take care.

[Red Clay]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: First Post - my story, posted by Georgina on Oct 3, 2003

Yes, you sent us pictures of your baby, but we would like to see some recent photos. Glad you are doing well. Actually a friend of Carmen's from Lima was in Seattle for about a month back in July, but now he is here in Tennessee in our city. Maybe we'll find a cheap flight out to the west coast someday and we'll come see you.

[Fuzzyone]

... in response to First Post - my story, posted by JimmySTLOUIS on Oct 2, 2003

Well it is good you are going to Peru they have some very beautiful
woman down there. Please do not make the mistake I made, I rushed
into a relationship when I did not have to. I went to Peru to see only one
woman big mistake, now I am paying for it but I should come out alright.
Meet several woman while you are down there no matter what the 19
year old says. It will help you so that she will not cloud your judgment.
The girl you are meeting down in Peru is very young and really are taking
a chance. Make sure you take lots of pictures of everything around your
house town ect. I am going to warn you that she will have watched all the
movies with american stars and have ideals that are not true. Make sure
she knows the truth or you will end up like some of us here with a
divorce. Good Luck..

[JimmySTLOUIS]

... in response to Re: First Post - my story, posted by Fuzzyone on Oct 2, 2003

Thanks for the advice.

I dont think there is ANY way that this girl will let me see anyone else. I also dont really want to.
I honestly feel that I have hit the jack pot here. This girl comes from a good family. She speaks english. We talk all the time about everything. She has seen me and know that I am not great looking.

She is very concerned now that she might "lose" me. It would break her heart if I even thought of seeing anyone else here or in Peru.

I have taken pictures of the house etc. She has seen a lot of me also on the web cam. I do have a big house (2400 sq feet) and its not too shabby. I didnt know if I should show her the house and the car or not.

jim

[Fuzzyone]

... in response to Re: Re: First Post - my story, posted by JimmySTLOUIS on Oct 2, 2003

Well this is part of my story... I met a girl from Peru I wrote her sent
her Photos of everything so she had a ideal of what she was getting
herself into. I called her all the time and she called me once in awhile. My
girls english was very good in fact she taught english in school there.
Well I pushed things and went to see her after about 6 months of writting
and calling. I knew her I thought pretty well heck I hit the JACKPOT I
thought!! I already had made plans to ask her to marry me if things
worked out good when I came to see her. I met her mother got to see the
very large house she lived in, meet her family ect. I did not meet any girls
down there but her, she was possive of me. She was very beautiful and I
was not real good looking. I was 40 and she was I think 30 so I thought I
had found miss right. Well I brought her here and then all heck started
breaking loose. I thought I had married a adult, it ended up she was like
a 15 year old. It was horrible I thought I was going to have a heart attack
from so much stress. I made a big mistake, she did things that I cannot
even put down here but I finally had enough and you know the rest....
What I see is you are going to get yourself in the same boat as me... yes I
know I knew everything and these guys here know nothing. Guess what I
wish I had listened and read post alittle bit more and I might be married
to the right girl. I don't see a problem marrying a girl younger then you
but 19? I think you will find she will act alot younger then you realize.
She really does not know what she is getting herself into. Make sure she
knows that there are no maids up here she will have to cook and clean
the house ect. The reason the family wants you to stay in the house is to
keep a good watch on you, a brother or family member will be with you
so nothing happens. I wish you good luck but please get that In Jan I will
__________ if things work out. Go meet her and that is it, save yourself
from the heart ache because it really sucks!!

[denvermike]

... in response to First Post - my story, posted by JimmySTLOUIS on Oct 2, 2003

Hi Jim,

Best of luck on your first trip south. I have known several women from Peru and I think you have made a good choice in looking there.  In general for what that is worth, the women from Peru tend to be more down to earth and less flakey and less materialist (sorry Madonna) than the girls from either Chile or Colombia, but that is highly dependent on the person naturally.

If she speaks English that is excellent, that means she is probably well educated and will make your meetings much, much easier. Even if she does speak English be prepared for lots of lost in the translation moments.

Lima will be an interesting experience that is for sure.  Lima has the look of a third world country, and the weather is terrible most of time.  The traffic is somewhat insane, just keep your eyes closed while in the taxi so you don't have to see all the near misses. You will be asked a million times what you think of Peru, a gringo's opinion seems to be very important to them.

On the Devils Advocate side, I would keep my expectations under control. Don't get too high, or you maybe dissapointed when you meet her in the flesh and vica versa.
Remember she is a teenager and she may have built an image of a rich gringo that could be hard to live up to.

Take some gifts for the family especially, the mother and father.  If there are little ones in the family some small toys would be good also. Don't show up empty handed if you visit her family!

If you want a fancy dinner out one night, try the Costa Verde, it is a great place.

Latin women love, no demand to be complimented on their looks, their dress, hair etc. she is not an AW so it OK to look and make comments. Memorize every detail of her apperance there maybe a pop quiz later on (such as eye color, hair style etc).

When you are dating a women a couple of decades younger than you, you had better be prepared to experience the political correctness age difference nonsense when back in the States.  Here in Santiago I occasionally have dinner with my married friends (married to AWs) and their wifes tend to be a little cold to my date.  They just hate the idea that I am with some sweet young thing in her 20s in front of their husband.  They think it will give their hubbys bad ideas.  Just be prepared, it will be an issue at some point.  

oh well that is enough,
good luck
mike

[JimmySTLOUIS]

... in response to Re: First Post - my story, posted by denvermike on Oct 2, 2003

Mike
I appreciate your time and advice.

I do not know how I could really have made this work at all is she did not speak english. I mean really it is hard with some words getting lost in the translation. Words like mood and silly really throw her off.
With the Yahoo messenger we can reallly go back and forth with conversation. The voice connection on Yahoo messenger is as good as the phone.

I read about Lima and I really dont know what to expect. I have been to Europe but never a Latin Country. Hawaii is my place with 7 trips so far.

Thanks for the advice on actually meeting. I dont know what to expect. I will in bad shape anyway after the long flight(s) and everythine being foreign.

I forgot to mention that they want me to stay at their house! *I am scared to death of that* I was planning on staying at the Mila Lima Hotel.

I am planning to bring gifts for the family. Their family unit is un real tight. I already sent her stuff and included items for her little sister.

As far as the polital correct thing when I get back. Its no problem. All of my friends think I am the man with this deal already!

jim

[pablo]

... in response to Re: Re: First Post - my story, posted by JimmySTLOUIS on Oct 2, 2003


Hi Jim,

Welcome to the board!  I appreciate your joining and posting about your plans and upcoming trip.  I hope that you have a wonderful trip and wish that your time spent with this lady will be very rewarding.  I want to commend you for taking the time to read the posts here during the past eight weeks and also making the decision to go to a Latin American country in search of a wife.  

I have read all the comments that you and the others have made so far and wanted to echo a few suggestions already made plus add a few thoughts of my own.

You seem like a good guy, not wanting to hurt this lady's feelings and it's obvious that you have feelings towards her that have grown over the past five weeks.  Starting with 40-50 plus ladies and narrowing it down to two, and now just one, is in my opinion a mistake.  I would highly recommend you have a backup plan.  There are many guys here that have gone to a country to meet one lady with great expectations only to realize after spending time with each other, they discover a different person they imagined them to be. Telephone/messenger conversations, letters and emails are helpful, fun and useful, but can't replace time together because this reveals so much more about the person.  

I'd recommend staying at the hotel as you originally planned and seeing more than one lady.  Don’t limit yourself, however unromantic that may sound. Being that this is your first trip to Latin America (man, are you going to enjoy this!) I would keep as many options open to you as possible.  Just think how awkward it will be IF you decide later that you would like to meet other women and you are staying at her home.  

It's wonderful being in the infatuation stage with a lady but there are a couple things here.  Five weeks is not much time getting to know someone in person let alone through the internet, and even though the age difference is not a concern, her actual age might be.  Nineteen is very young and most ladies that age, even as a Latina, are immature.   Hey, she may be just that lady you now imagine her to be, but I caution you not to put all your eggs in one basket.  

If you spend more time talking with guys who have gone this route, or have read archives on previous trip reports, a reoccurring recommendation is usually said...always have a back up plan and one should not travel to a foreign country to visit just one lady.  It's an insurance policy you might want to use if the need arises.

Pablo

[denvermike]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: First Post - my story, posted by pablo on Oct 3, 2003

Jim

You are getting some good "experience talking" advice here, you should be listening. You need to find a diplomatic way of staying at the hotel.  

As far as seeing more than one, it gets a little tricky trying to schedule time with two or three girls without them finding out and they WILL find out (the night has a thousand eyes). If number one finds out, it could be curtains.  Considering the tone of your relationship to date, you may had better just stick to one on this trip. Remember this is just the first of many trips south.  If it turns out to be a mess, you will have learned a valuable lesson, don't take it too serious until you have actually met and spent time together.  

I would like to relate one of my war stories. I work in the main office of company in Santiago. The girls in the office are always hitting me up to go out.  I have always had a policy of not dating anyonw I work with.  But this one girl who works in the field and is rarely in the office, kept sending me emails trying to go out.  I had seen her a few times in the coffee room but had I never really met her.  

So I started sending emails back. We talked on the phone, sent jokes to each other. It looked like there was some chemistry there.  

So after about two weeks of this cute electronic romantic crap, we finally had a date.  What a flop it was!! She is good looking, but how should I put this, she was about as interesting as my ex-wife.

I am hoping this is not your situation,  but there is no substitute for face time.

On the other hand, if things do go well, try not to go too ape s**t. Most fresh off the plane gringos go nuts when they realize what they have been missing by dating AWs. Great looks, killer body, world class sex can make you stupid if you don't watch it, that is some of my experience talking.

mike.