Some wise words to follow when traveling.

[Freddie]

I stole this from another travel site. Some very good things to keep in mind when traveling the world.

In my forties, have lived and worked all over Latin America, seen a lot of Europe and in the past year spent a good amount of time in Asia -- China, Japan, Thailand, Korea --and the Philippines. On a "for what it's worth basis" (and it probably is not much), I offer some of the lessons I think I have learned. Some of these insights have been expensive and/or embarrassing to learn. Some of them I really have not begun to understand until even recently:

1). Almost every where I go, the locals have a fraction of what I enjoy. Money, freedom, physical goods, opportunity, you name it I am unbelievably fortunate compared to the people I meet. This sometimes affects how they view me, but most of the time they are just curious about how our lifestyles differ.

Sure, I have met some girls who have tried (and succeeded) in separating as many won, yuan, pesos and baht from my pocket as possible. To some, I am the fatted (in more ways than one) calf. But not to everyone, and surprisingly, not to too many. I think that I have forced money onto the people I have met more than I have been bled. The financial difference has affected me more than some of the people I meet.

2). No matter where I go, there are people who can teach me some things I will never forget. I met a young woman last week in Manila who I will remember as long as I live.

3). There is a lot to learn. Apparently, what there is to learn is increasing faster than I am learning it. Every morning I wake up, I am further behind. My mission is to keep waking up, as opposed to learning it all.

4). Never hate in plurals. I have been pushed out of the way (no easy feat) and cursed at (I think) by more nationalities than I can count. No race, ethnic group or nationality has the market cornered on any behavior traits. If you think in plurals, love in plurals.

5). There are no ugly women. Some are more beautiful than others, yes, but no ugly ones. Arguing over which ones are most beautiful should be an Olympic sport (I could represent any country and contend for a medal.), but to denigrate any of their beauty is petty and small. There are some pretty ugly men, mind you.

6). I am not entitled to anything just by showing up, but I can earn anything with minimal investment or risk. A couple words in the home language, a joke or smile and I am golden. A little respect and I am repaid in kind but many times over. A lot of respect and I am treated like royalty (or at least royalty used to be treated in England and still is in Thailand).

7). To be shocked by little things is a mistake. For a girl to scoop a few baht, pesos, yuan, won or cents off the bar or the dresser used to surprise me-before I understood how little it meant to me and how much it meant to her. Now I make sure that I leave little piles lying around wherever I go. Chambermaids love me.

. My first (instinctive) reaction is usually wrong. I look at things through a western or North American lense and that is usually wrong. I intend to buy myself some time so that I can give a more considered reaction. My instinct often doesn't work in the corners of the world.

9). I need to be cautious but not be afraid of taking risks. I hate touts more than anybody, but that should not blind me to the opportunities that the guy in the street or the pedicab driver has to offer. Turns out those are some of the most memorable of all.

10). Planning is essential, but not as important as knowing when to junk the plan and play it by ear. Tight planning, loose implementation works best.

11). It isn't Kansas, Dorothy. If I wanted it to be like home, I should have stayed there. Soup for breakfast and duck tongue for lunch do not sound great - until you try them and find out they're not too bad. While I have had McDonald's in maybe 30 countries, I also have eaten some things that I still cannot name. Almost everything deserves to be tried at least once, except those twins at La Bamba.

[Pete E]

... in response to Some wise words to follow when traveling..., posted by Freddie on Sep 11, 2003

Freddie,
Good post.I think the guy has a good attitude about his search.
But when he said there were no ugly women it reminded me of something that goes way back.About 30 years ago I was working for a large government facility.We,myself and my work buddies,would go to the cafeteria for coffee break and would watch this parade of women walk through the door.We got in to the habit of comparing who looked best.There were lots of arguments and womens names would be being mentioned too loud.So we came up with a system,we thought we were the
inventors of it,kind of like Al Gore and the internet.A few years later I was watching Johnny Carson and he and Burt Reynolds were talking about basically the same thing.Damm,they stole our system.
It is of course the 0-10 rating system for women.Once we came up with this system the arguments died down because nobody ever disagreed more than one point.
The basics were:
1.10 is perfection.There are no 10's.There is always something you could improve.A 10 would be a composite of several women.Bo Derek was and 8.5.
2.For a midpoint reference, a benchmark since we were Civil Engineers,was a young lady who looked nice but not sexy.She was a 6.
3.We had a problem when someone was defined as a zero and then somebody worse came along.We agreed to not go in to negative numbers,why spend any time on that?We agreed a zero was a women you would not do it with if you were stranded on a desert island with her.Of course guys pointed out that untill you had that experience it might be hard to say what you might do under the circumstances.
So I guess to stay possitive someone could say there are no ugly women.But your gut reaction of UHGG could be hard to overcome.There are alot of Zeros.And 2's and 3's and 4's.As in Mickey Gilleys song the girls all look prettier at closing time.Probably would apply to that desert island too.
One other opinion,a 7 is a damm good looking woman,8's are beautifull,most women are way below that.Its an extreme pyramid,small at the top,9's are probably one in 10,000 in the US anyway.So,just about every women will be disapointed in her score.You must never tell them,they will be pissed.Even 7's think they are 9's,4's think they are 7's.
We were talking about this in the gym one time and a guy told a story.He was at a restaurant,a couple at the next table was having this discussion.The women kept pressing the guy to give her her score.After much time and probably too much wine he told her."When I first met you I thought you were a 5 but since I got to know you I moved you up to a 6."
She stood up,threw down her silverware and stomped out.Never ever tell them their score,even if its very high they will probably think it should be higher.
And I suppose all of us guys would be disapointed in our score.We wouldn't really want to know.But women are not in to such things,right?Makes me wonder if how much money you have would increase your score.Not really I don't think.Fame would work better,other women want you.But I think women do have a big picture where other things than the score can increase your desirabilty,at least temporarily.
Frank and Ernst were talking.Ernst says "yes I know there are too many fish in the sea,but the last one took all my bait."
Yes I know there is more to the right woman than attractiveness,and going for extreme attractiveness is probably more risky.But attractiveness is importasnt,or none of us would be reading this site right now.We're guys,it comes naturally to us.

Pete

[HeyNow]

... in response to No ugly women ?, posted by Pete E on Sep 11, 2003

Pete,
 Have you ever been on the site called www.hotornot.com?
This is where the men rate the women 1-10 (there is no zero)
and the women rate the men 1-10.  The photo comes up and you type the rating.  After that you will see what others thought.  Just for grins I posted my photo.  I didn't think I would score very well. My score averaged 8.3 with 142 women voting.   Unbelievable! well I guess beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

[Ralph]

... in response to No ugly women ?, posted by Pete E on Sep 11, 2003

The woman you are most likely giggling at who is a 0-3, most likely is somebody's wife, daughter, sister, friend etc etc etc. They are most likely beautiful to the people that matter to them.

I have a friend who is married to woman I would never, ever be attracted to. they have been married 19 years, and he is happy and loves her to death. 2 kids, 3 dogs a house etc etc etc.

Trust me, women rate us just as we rate them. I bet most guys here would not want to hear their scores. When a 5 is married to a "hot" 9.5, they will deal with that their entire time together.

How many photos have you seen on agancy websites where some dork has a hot babe with him? How many times is the guy grinning ear to ear, and the girl has a look like she wants to be ANYWHERE else than posing with him? Sometimes the guy even blocks out his face, because he KNOWS the comments he will get.

[Calipro]

... in response to The point is, posted by Ralph on Sep 12, 2003

where some dork has a hot babe with him and he is grinning ear to ear while the girl has a look like she wants to be ANYWHERE else than posing with him.

What site are they on???

It's ok if you like fat women. But, try not to be so grim.

Chao, Calipro

[Ralph]

... in response to I haven't seen the pictures,, posted by Calipro on Sep 13, 2003

http://www.latin-internet.com/success.htm

http://www.latinencounters.com/testimonials.asp

http://www.latinintro.com/images/tours/20021226/pages/tour0312260021_jpg.htm

http://www.latinintro.com/base_pages/tour020524.asp

http://www.latinintro.com/images/tours/20021226/pages/tour0312260074_jpg.htm

http://www.latinintro.com/base_pages/prevtours.asp

http://www.latinencounters.com/married_testimonials_8.asp

I found these pretty quickly. Are you telling me that over the years you have never seen photos where the guy was in fantasy land and the girl looked totally disinterested?

Some of the above pics are wedding pics. Most people can at least fake being happy on their wedding days.

BTW, where did I say I like fat women? I just don't criticize those that are happy with whatever woman they choose.

[lswote]

... in response to Re: I haven't seen the pictures,, posted by Ralph on Sep 13, 2003

[This message has been edited by lswote]

Here is one of me and my wife from that same LAI tour picture group.  Tell me who looks happier?  (I think my wife does, by the way)

I was happy.  Pictures just don't always show what you are feeling.  I am not particularly photogenic.  I think your example isn't valid.
http://www.latinintro.com/images/tours/20021226/pages/tour0312260060_jpg.htm

Or you could look at this one from my wedding, also from the same group of pictures.  I was happy, but you might not guess it from the picture.

ttp://www.latinintro.com/images/tours/20030214/Valentine2003/tour021403110.html

Or this one.
http://www.latinintro.com/images/tours/20030214/Valentine2003/tour021403111.html

Or this one.
http://www.latinintro.com/images/tours/20030214/Valentine2003/tour021403112.html

[Ralph]

... in response to I don't think you can say what people fe..., posted by lswote on Sep 15, 2003

I am not very photogenic, but if in your wedding pics you look totally disinterested, it is a bad sign.

Latinas for the most part wear their hearts on their sleeve. Can I tell if your wife is a greencard shark or is madly in love with you from a few photos? Absolutely not, but if asked to take an educated guess, I'd bet on the latter.

Her smile looks genuine and not pasted on.

[DallasSteve2]

... in response to I don't think you can say what people fe..., posted by lswote on Sep 15, 2003

Are you sure she's not from Cali?

Steve

[cassius]

... in response to Re: I haven't seen the pictures,, posted by Ralph on Sep 13, 2003

Indeed, on the latintro site there are some very interesting marriage pix in the valentine's day 2003 tour photo section.

Very interesting photo of a very pretty young lady wed to a man who must be in 60s.

She is also in this posted by Ralph above:

http://www.latinintro.com/images/tours/20021226/pages/tour0312260021_jpg.htm

Well when you look at tour pix at all the sites, I think it fair to say that the number of attractive women far outnumbers the number of men. In fact an 'attractive' male is hard to spot.

The main reason of course is that only certain types of males 40-60 go down there, currently. It has already been pointed out that some of the latinas soon understand the demographics and turn off from the agencies, because they can't fake it with those types.

Some have no choice but to settle! Perhaps some really don't mind at all.

My point is that the latinas know exactly what a young, attractive, sucessful male looks like, in the same way AW scales from 1-10. Isn't that what most latinas really want?

[luvslife]

... in response to LOOKS??, posted by cassius on Sep 13, 2003

In my opinion these ladies are looking for security.  They want someone that has the potential to built a better life for them and with them.  As quite as it is kept, some of the young attractive girls have flaws or issues that can impact a relationship in a much more serious way than a bald spot.  Emotional baggage, eating disorders, children, sordid past lives, and yes I would add lack of experience in life to that list, but why go down with modest expections.  Shoot high a go for the best woman you can find for your situation, and reality is what you end up with.

[Ralph]

... in response to LOOKS??, posted by cassius on Sep 13, 2003

Well my point was not really about looks. There are also pics of nice looking ladies with "average" or below average looking guys, but the lady seems to be genuinely happy.

I remember one time in a casino in Santo Domingo I see this old guy well over 60 walk in with a drop dead gorgeous lady on his arms. The lobby was empty and I first assumed she was "hired help" and she could have been. But. . . . she was looking up at him like she adored him. The lobby was pretty empty so i doubt she was putting on a show. The girl looked like she was madly in love with him.

[wizard]

... in response to LOOKS??, posted by cassius on Sep 13, 2003

"My point is that the latinas know exactly what a young, attractive, sucessful male looks like, in the same way AW scales from 1-10. Isn't that what most latinas really want?"

Not necessarily... In the latin culture, a good looking, afluent man has his pick of many women and usually has many in his "stable"...

I have been told by many latinas that they prefer older, more stable gentlemen... Not machista hot-heads that just want to score...

mis dos centavos...

[jim c]

... in response to Re: LOOKS??, posted by wizard on Sep 14, 2003

Hey Gandolph

Just using your post to slide in to the topic. It seems to me our members must come from a list of former Mr. Universe contestants. I looked at the pictures and found not one guy I would call ugly there were several that were good looking.I have been to the agencies and have seen the crazies, the guys that look normal but but their pysche would scare a shrink. I have seen guys in wigs so bad they looked like clowns. The spectrum of people there is as broad as the internet that spawned them. The girls are not the cream of Colombian society either.

   The agencies are filled with people. It is that simple.

Pretty little neurotics, wonderful women with children in a society where men will only use them. Beauty queens looking for the brass ring and intelligent women looking to change their lives. Mix this with lonely American men looking for love and companionship and you have the fantasy. Everyone starts with two strikes and steps up to the plate. Sure, there are guys like me who are overage and maybe out of shape but don't condem us you will join us soon enough. We have things to offer also, experience, stability, confidence in our futures and maybe even enough wealth to make her happy. Believe me I don't mind paying. A relationship is never free. I would never ridicule a man for his looks. He has a right to the best woman he can find. I was very attractive when I was young, but things change. Hopefully our mindset changes with age and believe it or not some women are attracted to wisdom, confidence and stability.  Particularly intelligent women. jim c

[DallasSteve2]

... in response to Re: Re: LOOKS??, posted by jim c on Sep 15, 2003

Jim

One of your wisest posts.  Too bad it's so far down the page now.

Steve