filipinas, family members, and $

[senge]

[This message has been edited by senge]

Hello everyone.  I don't post here often, but i read the threads almost daily.  Currently, i'm in need of a few answers.  so i'll be posting questions for you all here from time to time.  thanks in advance for any advice.

I'm actively pursuing both latin and filipina women.  I've been leaning towards filipinas for a variety of reasons.

however, it seems that every filipina girl i've corresponded with implies that i must be a benefactor for their family members, to some extent.  i really don't want to have to bother with sponsoring their mothers/fathers/siblings for US immigration, nor do i feel it is fair for  my future wife to ask me to send money back home to support her siblings going to college, or her retired parents, or whatever.

are latin women similar to filipinas in this way?

[Pete E]

... in response to filipinas, family members, and $, posted by senge on Aug 31, 2003

My experience with Philipeanas is limited,but one guy I know married one and she was in the process of trying to get her whole family here.They got divorced in about 3 years.I think it turned out bad for him financialy.
This may be unfair,but my opinion is many the asian women  seem like hard case  money grubers.I would be very carefull.
With Latin women,and my experience is with Colombianas,you may need to send the family money to get by but the older people are not much interested in coming here.Once your wife gets a job she can send the money.Maybe $200 a month makes a huge difference and may be needed to offset the income lost when you took your wife away,if she had a job.
Foriegn brides,my opinion: Worst,Russians.Next worst,Asians.Best,Latinas.
But then wouldn't you expect this opinion when you visit a latin board?
Of course "asian" covers alot of countries and cultures.I'm sure some are better than others.

Pete

[moam]

... in response to filipinas, family members, and $, posted by senge on Aug 31, 2003

Senge,
When it comes to being involved with a filipina and marrying her this is normal for them to want to sponsor family members to come to the US. When I would spend time down there during the time that the US had military bases there I met many couples that were in the process of doing just that.  I spent two years in Okinawa and I had many friends married to filipinas and every last one of them had sponsored a family member, usally a parent.  I was engaged to a filipina that had sisters that were married to citizens, I saw her years later here in CA. and each of the sisters had sponsored a family member,including her. You will get a family in addition to your wife, not in all cases.  Should she sponsor a family member, guess where they are going to live until they can fend for themselves, now this is not neccassily a bad thing. Normally a lady will sponsor her mother and father, and should you plan to have kids, you have built in child care, so look at the bright side of this.

Good luck!

[senge]

... in response to Re: filipinas, family members, and $, posted by moam on Aug 31, 2003

thanks, but i don't want my mother-in-law in the house while i'm 'getting to know' my wife

[DallasSteve2]

... in response to filipinas, family members, and $, posted by senge on Aug 31, 2003

Senge

I think it is common for the women from Latin America to expect to send money home to their family if they are in difficult economic conditions.  About 90% of the women you will meet in Latin America will fall into that category.

As far as sponsoring family members, I think that may not be an immediate concern.  I have not researched this in depth and would like to hear from our resident immigration lawyer, but I think the rules are:

1 - You cannot petition for her family members.  She must do so.  Marriage to her does not qualify you for that role.

2 - She cannot petition for her family members until she is a citizen.  That will be at least 3 years down the road I believe.

3 - When she is a citizen she can only petition for 1 or 2 persons during a certain period of time.  I think it also takes up to several years for her petition to be approved depending upon how close the family relationship is.  I don't know the exact rules, because it has not been important to me.

4 - You can sign an affidavit of support for her family members for which she files a petition (after she becomes a citizen).  I wouldn't do that, but you can.

I would make sure the woman knows what your expectations are regarding sending money to and sponsoring her family members before you ask her to marry you.  Even that may not be enough.  Women have been known to use their charm and, if necessary, sexual pressure to extract many things from men over the years.  If you are crazy about her, you may later give in.  

With apologies to another board member:

Been there, done that.

Steve

[senge]

... in response to Re: filipinas, family members, and $, posted by DallasSteve2 on Aug 31, 2003

thanks steve for this info.

[Onephd]

... in response to filipinas, family members, and $, posted by senge on Aug 31, 2003

[This message has been edited by Onephd]


I don't think this is true of everyone or every country.  Most of it depends on the situation of the family.  Sometimes you will have to do this, and sometimes you won't, it just depends on the family and their economics.  

However, you must keep in mind that one of the favorite things men like about Latina's is their commitment to family.  Well, that includes their family too.  Its hard to love them for this characteristic and deprive them of the ability to practice it.  After all that's part of the attraction right?

If you want to avoid this, perhaps it is good to look for women in parts of Latin America where the economic situation is slightly better.  For example in Colombia, Bogotá may have women that are financially better off than say perhaps BAQ or Cart.(IMHO), thus it is possible that the women you meet from Bogotá won't have this concern.

But remember there are not promises.

Again these are things that need to discussed with any woman before your heart becomes involved. And before she arrives here.  ha hah hah
$.02

[Calipro]

... in response to filipinas, family members, and $, posted by senge on Aug 31, 2003

I really can't tell you any thing about filipinas because I don't know a thing about them. But, I do have a bit of experiance with colombianas. So I will just give you a run down.

When I got engaged to my first colombian wife, I gave her an engagement ring worth about $3200 US, a laptop worth about $1600 and a credit card with a 500 dollar credit limit. She never spent more than $250 in a months time and I am pretty sure she helped her family out a little bit.

It took about 6 months before she got her so you do the math. When she got here I never sent her family a dime. I did give her spending money until she got her first job here. I think she did send some of it to her mother. After she was here about 6 months she got her first job and she started sending about a weeks salary to her mother every month and I think she still does.

I wouldn't worry about it to much. I don't think it is really necesary to support their families back home. But, when they finally get a job and start making money, I don't see how you can stop them from sending money home.
It must be a national pass time from them. I saw the figures on how much money is heading south by electronic transfers and it was astronomical (I can't remember what the exact figure was).