Colombia Trip Report, Part 1

[John O]

My recent trip to Colombia took me to Medellin & Cali. I  went to Mdlln. to follow up on MM, a beautiful 24-y.o paisa I'd met on the beach at Sta. Marta 20 mos ago. We started communicating again after a yr and a half. She's fun and smart, and I respected that she was working 2 FT jobs to support her family & go to school at the same time.

Despite the red flags I saw (e.g., seeking financial help for her family) & warnings from my Planet Love brothers, I was strongly attracted to MM & thought it was worth a visit to see if we could work things out. Within 36 hrs of my arrival, it was clear things weren't going anywhere. I need a certain amount of affection (verbal & physical, not necessarily sexual) from a partner, & MM was unwilling or unable to give this. So I took off for Cali.

Next on my list were 3 ladies I'd met on a previous visit to Latin Best. I had high hopes for L., a gorgeous 31-y.o divorced mother w/a young daughter. She also was fun and smart, and we got along well. But after going out w/me the 1st evening, she told me she couldn't see me for a few days. This from someone who's unemployed, yet finds time to hang out w/her English classmates. When I called, she was unavailable; she never called me back at my hotel. It was clear the interest wasn't there.

A similar pattern repeated with The Two Paolas, who were next on my list. Both were very sweet, young (23-24) & pretty, but too busy with work and/or school to spend any real time w/me. In the case of Paola 2, her home phone died the day after our date, and she never called or Emailed me.

My experience & philosophy tell me that if a lady is really interested in you, she will make some effort to communicate with you, instead of you always having to pursue her & guess her interest level. I've met a lot of otherwise wonderful ladies down there who have not demonstrated sufficient interest in me this way. Perhaps their dedication to work or school means they aren't really available for a serious relationship at the time. Certainly not with me. When this becomes clear, I regretfully move on.

That usually means starting anew at one of the agencies, which I then proceeded to do...

To be continued.

[Pete E]

... in response to Colombia Trip Report, Part 1, posted by John O on Sep 6, 2003

If the lady is interested in you you will not be getting any excuses.The only legitimate one would be work,or some extreme emergency.
If you find yourself getting excuses,they are not interested,jusy maybe unwilling to tell you so.So many giuys go for the  excuse thing because they are interested in he girl.But if she is not interested in you it will be a bad deal,even if she decides to marry you.Bail early.Save grief.Move on to one who will care about you.

Pete

[Pete E]

... in response to You got that right, posted by Pete E on Sep 6, 2003

The other catagory of persons to perhaps not tell are women who are interested in you or are about the age they think you should be interested in them.I told a couple of these ladies,who were interested in me.They were nice about it but hurt I think.
But then you can encounter the one who will really be pissed,you are rejecting her for a more attractive woman.Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

Pete

[Pete E]

... in response to And - - , posted by Pete E on Sep 6, 2003

nt

[zack]

... in response to Colombia Trip Report, Part 1, posted by John O on Sep 6, 2003

Thanks for the trip report.

"...if a lady is interested in you, she will make every effort to communicate with you  instead of you always having to pursue her and guess her interest level."

I agree completely. Some will call in sick to work, or if their phone breaks down, go to a nearby cafe to call you if they are really interested.

Zack

[Freddie]

... in response to Re: Colombia Trip Report, Part 1, posted by zack on Sep 6, 2003

Keep in mind he said he had just met these girls. Maybe they have been this route before and want to find out just how interested the guy is.

I think sometimes guys forget that they are dealing with a different culture than they are used to. Try to be flexible. You might miss out on your dream girl because you didn't take the extra step.

If you take an extra step and they still don't respond at least you found out for sure before you wrote them off.

Just something to think about.

[John O]

... in response to I think you guys are a little misguided., posted by Freddie on Sep 6, 2003

In the case of the 31-y.o. beauty, I'd sent flowers & called and/or Emailed at least 1/wk for 6 wks in between visits. And: "Did you like the poem I wrote for you?" "Poem? Hmm... Oh, yeah, thanks..."

Obviously, a lot of the younger & more attractive ladies are just choosier. They may require extra time & attention. But as Pete E has said, correctly judging a woman's true interest level in you is an essential, & for me, often difficult task. You can waste a lot of time chasing a lady who's not really interested, whether in LA or the US.

In any case, given the relatively shorter time frame & high expense of this long-distance wooing process, you can only go so many extra miles. I'm looking for a woman who knows what she wants & shows it. Fortunately, there are enough of these ladies to provide me with what I need. Figuring out what I want/need, well, that's another question.

[zack]

... in response to I think you guys are a little misguided., posted by Freddie on Sep 6, 2003

True, but I wouldn't take more than one or two "extra steps." We only have so much time down there to deal with ladies who try to test our interest by saying that their phone stopped working, or whatever. But yes, in some cases it will pay off.

Zack

[HeyNow]

... in response to Re: I think you guys are a little misgui..., posted by zack on Sep 6, 2003

Zack,  I disagree.  If a woman is interested she will show it within the first half hour of meeting.  She will let you know in no uncertain terms.  She won't play any games.  Trust me.

[DOMINGUIN]

... in response to Re: Re: I think you guys are a little mi..., posted by HeyNow on Sep 8, 2003

I met over 40 Latinas in a month in Bogota and cartagena through agency introductions, all with the exception of one were at least 34 years old, the oldest was 46.
At age 50, it was certainly the first time in my life, i had met so many women (supposedly interested in marriage) in such a short period of time and the most dating I had ever done.  And granted, it was the first time I had ever dated only foreign women.

Now I was monogamous and married for close to 23 years, have been divorced for three years, had a couple of relationships with American women in the last three years, nothing longer then 5 months, and maybe I'm just out of practice.

So what I want to know from you "experts" in Latinas, is how do you know that a Latina is obviously interested in you?  And please don't say, you'll know, or its obvious, I would like some concrete, specific examples.

   

[HeyNow]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: I think you guys are a littl..., posted by DOMINGUIN on Sep 9, 2003

Once you get in the taxi the girl will sit very close and hold your hand.  The girl will say, "I don't have a boyfriend".  She will initiate physical intimacy.

[zack]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: I think you guys are a littl..., posted by DOMINGUIN on Sep 9, 2003

You can often tell by her body language and verbal language. If you are watching a movie and she doesn't want to hold your hand, or is not cuddly at all, then I qould question her attraction.

If she never says anything to show her attraction, such as
"I had a great time with you today" or "you look real nice today", I would question her attraction.

Put yourself in her shoes. If you were really interesed in someone, you would want to be next to her, hold her hand, and shower her with verbal effection, buy her gifts, etc.

This is just the tip of the iceburg. I know there are many other ways to know if A Latina is really interested in you.
Help me out here guys.

Zack

[Ralph]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: I think you guys are a l..., posted by zack on Sep 9, 2003

I posted this years ago on LWL. take lots of photos of you together with her. Does she look genuinely thrilled to be with you or is she forcing a smile?

How affectionate is she? My novia will always walk with me arm in arm, or holding hands. If we go to a club or restaurant, the first thing she does is move her seat closer to mine. She is constantly hugging, caressing, kissing etc etc etc.

If you wake up in the morning and she is not draped all over you, she might not be that into it.

How does her voice sound when she first realizes it is you on the phone? Can you hear the happiness in her voice? How much does she miss you when you are away or can't call for a few days?

It is really very easy to know if they really like you. . . . .if you really want to know.

[zack]

... in response to Re: Re: I think you guys are a little mi..., posted by HeyNow on Sep 8, 2003

If you read my original post you will see that I agree with you. I was just responding to Freddy's idea that an extra step may pay off, which is sometimes true.

But I would never waste my time doing this. I agree- if she is interested, she will almost always let you know very soon.

Zack

[Ralph]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: I think you guys are a littl..., posted by zack on Sep 8, 2003

She is not very interested. Just as if you need to decide between several "candidates", NONE of them are the one. If a woman doesn't make it painfully obvious that she is the one, keep looking.