For Calipro, but anyone can jump in

[DOMINGUIN]

Calipro:
I took your post, cut and pasted your ideas. I don't want to get into a pissing match with you, but I do think based on all your posts that we do have much different standards of conduct, and I said different, not better.  I've strongly disagreed with some of the things you've said and done on this forum, but for you, I think its the way you look at the world, as opposed to say Aaron, who was just an immature brat.  

My work requires me to be a practicing psychologist (without the degree), and I have to read people all the time.  I made a read on you a while back, based on all your posts, and I should have done it privately, and I hope I apologized for that.  You're welcome to say anything you want about me.

So here is my take on your ideas.  

I think it is ridiculous for someone to equate their girl friend with a prostitute just because she asked for help with the phone bill.

Agreed, its ridiculous to call someone a prostitute, because she wants help with the phone bill. But, to be frank, if it was me, I wouldn't pay the bill.  I'm not accountable for decisions made by people with whom I have no emotional connection.  To use the example that el colombiano posted, the sister of a long distance finacee/novia is probably not a strong emotional connection at this point.  Now, I'm aware that if I marry a Latina, I may have to provide some financial support.  I dated a secretary in Bogota who lives with her 60 year widowed mother, and it was a subject that came up.  But what I admired about the mother is that she was working full time and keeping her dignity.  And, to her credit, her daughter didn't bring the subect of support up, she wouldn't even take cab fare from me.  I brought the subject up because this lady is all about character. We still fax and talk to each other every 4 or 5 days.  I would not provide ongoing support for a brother or sister of my wife unless there was some really good reason (but for parents, definitely yes, "Honor they mother and father all the days of my life....", (one of the Big 10)  

I don't think young women are inherently more insincere than older women when it comes to meeting a guy for marriage.

Young women and older women are relative terms, but lets look at it from our perspectives, lets compare the 20 year old girl you might pick out of an agency book with say the 35 year old woman I would pick out.  I wouldn't use the word, insincere, but I would use the word mature and obviously I mean emotional maturity.  To me, part of emotional maturity means good decision making.  I can't make any authoritative statements about 20 year old Colombianas, I never went out with them, but I would think that the extra 15 years of life experience of making decisions would enable the older woman to act more maturely with men.  Not all 35 year old women, but as a general rule.  Its the age debate, just expressed another way. Now, I do think that all men and women regardless of their age, play head (in all senses of the word!) games with each other that involve some deception and are about power, control, wealth, sex and gratification, I just happen to like the games that older (more amture) women play, they are more complex.    

I don't think there is anything wrong with guys selecting a women based on her physical beauty and youth for an initial date.

Where do you draw the line?  Should 65 year old guys be "selecting" 16 year old girls?

I don't agree with the engineering approach to selecting marriage prospects. You know where you multiply the women's age by her years of formal education and then you decide based on the highest score which one to ask out first. Also, I don't think guys that use the engineering approach are moraly superior either.

Agreed, I don't think that guys who use the engineering approach are morally superior, because moral superiority is about something else other then how you choose women.  But, by engineering approach, I think you mean criteria. And I used the criteria I thought were important constantly when I was meeting and dating in Colombia. I had a few for asking for an introduction and a sita. To me education was important and some kind of meaningful professional experience was also important. Why? Because it meant that they could finish something (persistence)and by holding down a job, then take responsibility for their lives.  It also meant that they could cary a conversation and if you're in a relationship long enough, conversation will become just as important as sex, and as you get even older, even more important.    

I pity anybody that thinks they can look at a picture and determine if a women is cheap, easy or a prostitute. It is disturbing that some of you choose to think this when you know nothing about these women or their relationships with me. For the record, none of the women in the photos were any of those things. I personally like to think of them as attractive and available:-

Would it be fair to look at your ex wife's website and conclude: OK, this is a woman who sees her body as a revenue generator?  And that might be a clue to whatever values she grew up or picked up from her environment?  I didn't make a moral judgement and I didn't say cheap, easy or a prostitute.  And, what does available mean to you?  You written posts about being annoyed that hotels were charging you extra to bring girls to your room. Does availabilty to you mean available for sex?  Peraonally I don't like to use the word availavbe when referring to interpersonal relationships, but that is just me.

I don't think that showing women photos of your big house and nice car is a good idea. It just confuses the issue. First dates should be about physical attraction (animal attraction) and if the two of you enjoy each others company in a casual setting. What more can you really expect from a first date anyway??

I definitely agree with not showing photos of house and car. But first dates for me are different.  Most of all what I want to know: Is there light behind her eyes?  Is the woman intelligent?  Can she talk?  Does she combine femininity and self confidence?  Does she seem interested in what I have to say?  Granted I have certain standards of physical attraction and that probably makes me shallow: "Beauty is skin deep, but ugly goes right down to the bone."  I'm sure you would rather go dancing on a first date, I would rather have dinner and talk.  I get bored pretty easily and if a woman hasn't got much to say, then eventually I think the sex will also be boring.

WR, take a shot at whatever you want.

Hasta la vista
DL

[Jersey Mike]

... in response to For Calipro, but anyone can jump in, posted by DOMINGUIN on Aug 23, 2003

here's the old formula for the "ideal" age difference between a man and a woman:  One-half the man's age plus seven.  At 44, my perfect match should be 29 - seems just about right!

In actuality, when it comes to a marriage partner, I'm with you in that I am more attracted to a more mature woman in her thirties who offers some life exerience to share.

[luvslife]

... in response to For Calipro, but anyone can jump in, posted by DOMINGUIN on Aug 23, 2003

My choices vs. your choices, my experience vs. your experience, my women vs. your women, my perspective vs. your perspective, I pee longer than you do.  Come on, we are all men, and we are going to live life just as we please.  I make the choices and reap the benefits or pay the consequences.  I think the things Dominguin does work well in his life but they may not work so well in another mans life.  Live it and love it, or not.

[Calipro]

... in response to For Calipro, but anyone can jump in, posted by DOMINGUIN on Aug 23, 2003

Well, Dominguin

I don't know what I would say about you since I don't really know you personally. But, thanks for the offer I guess.

It is no secret that I prefer younger women and you like the oldies but goodies. I like younger women because in general they are spontaneous, fun loving, active and a lot more optimistic than the older ones. But, that doesn't mean the old ones are all bad. I just never found one that knocked my socks off like the younger hotties do. To each his own, I say.

The 65 year old guy and the 16 year old girl. Now that's a tuff one. But, It reminds me of a joke.

There was this 65 year old guy about to have sex with a young women. So, he put on a rubber and then started to stuff cotton in his nose and ears. The girl says I understand the rubber. But, why are you stuffing cotton in your nose and ears. The old guys says if there is one thing I can't stand it is the smell of burning rubber and the sound of screaming women.

If the old guy gets a physical and the doctor says he is fit and the girl gets her head examined and she is sane, I say what the heck let them go for it. Unless they are in the U.S. then they better wait untill she is 18.

I don't think my ex-wife really thinks of her body as a revenue generator. Her mother is chirstian and very religious. I think she would be very upset if her mother found out. I don't really know what motivated her to make a nudy web site except possibly that she needs the money. She recently moved out of her husbands house and is now living on her own again and she always sends money home to her mother every month. I think she just needed the money. You know she makes between $2500 and $3000 every month from that web site. I hope all you guys aren't buying her pictures!!!

When I describe a women as available, in my opinion she is open to anyone of the following mutualy rewarding relationships: friend, lover, commited other or spouse and it implies that she is willing to put forth some effort on her part (to make the relationship work).

Actually the engineering approach was a poke at Patrick because he is an engineer and thinks that older women with a good education and a long work history make the best wives. Hell in Cali anyway, it is easier to find an 18 super model that wants to marry you than that.

[lswote]

... in response to I can't respond to every thing but here ..., posted by Calipro on Aug 24, 2003

Calipro, I can't help but have a grudging respect for you because you are pretty upfront about your approach and for the most part are not hypocritical in your approach in dating Latin women.  However, I have a huge philosophical problem with your approach.

My philosophy in life is to do as little damage to others as possible.  What I mean by that is everything I do I try to consider what the impact of my action is on others.  There are practical limitations to this of course, but it pervades everything I do just the same.  Thus when I was dating, though I saw many women, I always was considerate and as gentlemanly as possible when I went out with women.  I let them know I appreciated them making time to see me and tried to let them know that even if nothing developed between us romantically I was grateful for the opportunity to get to know them.

The problem I have with your approach is that however upfront you might be about your approach; you have to be leaving a wake of damage behind you.  You have explained at length about how you left all your wives off better than when you found them.  Okay, for the sake of argument, suppose you are right.  What about all the others?  Your last posting of pictures showed at least 3 girls, maybe 4.  Did all of them come out of their experience with you better off?  I bet some if not all of them felt let down when you moved on to the next girl.  It is just human nature to feel disappointment when someone you feel important discards you.  Don’t you feel that your process of breezing through women like they are hotel rooms is adding to those women’s overall disappointment with life?

[Calipro]

... in response to Re: I can't respond to every thing but h..., posted by lswote on Aug 24, 2003

including you guys!

Iswrote:

I am as considerate and gentlemanly as posible when I date these women and if I left any of them feeling unappreciated then I really missed the mark. But, I don't think so.

All the women who's photos were taken in my apartment, I dated more than once. These women are under no obligation to go out with me or to have any contact with me if they don't want to. So I assume they are enjoying my company as much as I am enjoying their's.

I certainly don't feel that I damaged any of these women in any way. I am sure some of the women I met were disappointed when the relationship did not continue. But, I have been disappointed when some relationships haven't continued also. You know a wasn't exactly on cloud 9 when my first wife walked out or when I found out my last wife had a boyfriend. And, I still have on going relationships with some of the women. If they don't feel loved and respected, they are free to end the relationship at any time however disappointed I may be about it.

[lswote]

... in response to I hope I haven't damaged anyone....., posted by Calipro on Aug 24, 2003

Hmmm, you are definitely a unique fellow.  I don't believe I could pull off so many beautiful woman as you have and make the same claim.  I am sure my own lust would quickly cloud my eyes and I would end up hurting many.  

I think there are many other guys out there with your basic approach of dating many women, but they DO hurt the women.  I know I certainly dated a few women who had had someone make them feel like they were just being used and left them somewhat jaded about American men.

[Calipro]

... in response to Re: I hope I haven't damaged anyone....., posted by lswote on Aug 24, 2003

I don't think I have jaded any colombianas towards american men. If I met the women at a marriage agency, I like to think that she will show up early to her next appointment because she had a good time the last time she went out with an american.

I like to think that the women are in control and I just offer them choices. Some get the choice to go out with me. Others get the choice to come to my apartment and still others get the choice to come to the good old U.S. of A.
What they choose to do is completely up to them.

[Michael B]

... in response to Re: I can't respond to every thing but h..., posted by lswote on Aug 24, 2003

[This message has been edited by Michael B]

'Wake of damage'...Oh come on, Bruce. That's a low blow to the pro, after all, didn't he say that he always 'left them better off' (in $). Why do you have to bring up silly, petty stuff like the ladies' feelings? What are you trying to do, see if he has a conscience? I'm more pragmatic, I'm just expecting that one day some guy will deliver the message 'You have dishonored by sister/daughter' (or 'you messed with MY woman'--yes, we know, they already tried that once and CP 'out tough guy'd' them, but there's always next time) and that will be the end of him. Not that I'm advocating it, mind you, just that I expect it.

[Calipro]

... in response to Re: Re: I can't respond to every thing b..., posted by Michael B on Aug 24, 2003

Forget the brothers and the fathers. It is the CRAZY boyfriends you have to watch out for!!

[greg]

... in response to For Calipro, but anyone can jump in, posted by DOMINGUIN on Aug 23, 2003

AARon. Doesn't take an intelligent person to figure it out. Anyway, I like reading his Posts, he's funny hehe

[mudd]

... in response to CaliPro isssssss, posted by greg on Aug 24, 2003

i dont think so. my gues would be arron is calivet.

[greg]

... in response to Re: CaliPro isssssss, posted by mudd on Aug 24, 2003

Arron.

[Cali vet]

... in response to Re: CaliPro isssssss, posted by mudd on Aug 24, 2003

.

[mudd]

... in response to Unmasked! n/t, posted by Cali vet on Aug 24, 2003

n