She is asking me for money now

[burbuja2]

... in response to She is asking me for money now, posted by elcolombiano on Aug 22, 2003

This is a red flag and you need to proceed with caution. She is now asking you to pay a bill incurred by a family member.  If she does this while you're engaged, what financial demands, I mean requests, will she make once you're married?  What she probably needs is a bank-not a husband.

[Calipro]

... in response to She is asking me for money now, posted by elcolombiano on Aug 22, 2003

[This message has been edited by Calipro]

"If I want to pay for a girl freind I can alway find a prostitute, what's the difference?"

The only difference is the emotional attachment and the price. Prostitutes are much cheaper in the long run.

Are you sure you are ready for this kind of commitment? I mean financially.

If you are having second thoughts about paying the phone bill so you can talk to her, what are you going to do when she gets here. She'll need warm clothes, an education and a car to get around in, etc. etc.

I guess you could keep her bare foot and pregnant or start lookiing for and older model.

[elcolombiano]

... in response to Haven't you ever been married???, posted by Calipro on Aug 23, 2003

Its not the money its the principal

[DOMINGUIN]

... in response to Haven't you ever been married???, posted by Calipro on Aug 23, 2003


Calipro:  "The emotional attachment" as you call it is what makes some men worth more then 97 cents of raw elements.  But, with your attitudes about women, I'll give you 6 to 1 odds that if you find another calena and go for #4, you don't last 36 months! Dominguin

[Calipro]

... in response to Re: Haven't you ever been married???, posted by DOMINGUIN on Aug 23, 2003

Dominguin

You gotta have the emotional attachment otherwise you'll be crying over every dime you spend on her or trying to get your money's worth every time you go to bed. Neither one is a winning proposition.

What's wrong with my attitudes about women. Wine them, Dine them, 69 them.

Just kidding!!

But, if you are serious about them, what's wrong with picking up the phone bill?

[DOMINGUIN]

... in response to Re: Re: Haven't you ever been married???, posted by Calipro on Aug 23, 2003


Calipro:

You and I are two different hombres, but lets air it out.

I was married for close to 23 years to the same woman.  That woman brought my son into the world, is a great mother, held me as I cried when my mother died, and 27 years ago, (just 60 days after I met her) ran out into the street in Manhattan in her pajamas to flag down a cab and got me to an emergency room at 3:30 AM when I had a temperature of 104+ and climbing. She made the best damned strawberry short cake I ever tasted, fought off cancer and survived, put up with a lot of my moods for a long time, and I never worried about her letting any man hit on her in all the years I knew her.  

I don't want to get religious or gooey, but I think most of the men on this board (if they just put a cork on the testosterone) would agree that a real relationship between a man and a woman is about a hell of a lot more then getting trim. No one is ever going to tell me that all marriages are a form of prostitution and its just a question of price. That's absolute bulls***t!!!!!  Instead of asking : How much is this going to cost me, maybe the question to ask is: what commitments can I make to make this woman know that she is loved?

Between you and I we've had four marriages, I made mistakes in my first marriage that hopefully I wouldn't repeat if I remarried. Can you admit that you made any mistakes?

Come on back WR, your turn.

[Calipro]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Haven't you ever been marrie..., posted by DOMINGUIN on Aug 23, 2003

You are preaching to the choir.

I can't find much in your previous posts that I don't agree with except your opinion of me. Maybe we are more alike than you would like to believe.

It seems like you want to debate something so let me throw a few ideas your way.

I think it is ridiculous  for someone to equate their girl friend with a prostitute just because she asked for help with the phone bill.

I don't think young women are inherently more insincere than older women when it comes to meeting a guy for marriage.

I don't think there is anything wrong with guys selecting a women based on her physical beauty and youth for an initial date.

I don't agree with the engineering approach to selecting marriage prospects. You know where you multiply the women's age by her years of formal education and then you decide based on the highest score which one to ask out first. Also, I don't think guys that use the engineering approach are moraly superior either.

I pity anybody that thinks they can look at a picture and determine if a women is cheap, easy or a prostitute. It is disturbing that some of you choose to think this when you know nothing about these women or their relationships with me. For the record, none of the women in the photos were any of those things. I personally like to think of them as attractive and available:- )

I don't think that showing women photos of your big house and nice car is a good idea. It just confuses the issue. First dates should be about physical attraction (animal attraction) and if the two of you enjoy each others company in a casual setting. What more can you really expect from a first date anyway??

Dominguin:

I have made a few mistakes in my life time. But, I'm not about to sit around and cry about them either. I would like to end this a little more personally but I can' remember your initials. Sorry!!

Chao,  Calipro

[Patrick]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Haven't you ever been marrie..., posted by DOMINGUIN on Aug 23, 2003

Wow, not everybody here is a superficial idiot!  Perhaps I get too cynical at times.   It just seems that the majority of posts here come from guys looking for the arm candy.  Nice to know there are some thoughtful men posting.

[surfscum]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Haven't you ever been marrie..., posted by DOMINGUIN on Aug 23, 2003

Calipro posts pictures of girls and calls it back to the real world. What you just described IS the real thing. But there are men who go overseas looking for a Peter Pan experience in Never-Never land where the girls are always young and easy and the men get to pretend that their age doesn't matter. That kind of experience doesn't cost the man anything, or does it? From a superficial viewpoint, it looks a whole lot easier than living with a woman and being involved in her life and doing what love requires. I pity men (and women) who settle for that kind of relationship: they really have no idea what they are missing.

[cancunhound]

... in response to Thank you for a dose of reality!, posted by surfscum on Aug 23, 2003

My bet is you have never been married.  No mas.

[surfscum]

... in response to Never-Never land?, posted by cancunhound on Aug 23, 2003

My point is that men in their 40's and older are chasing a fantasy by going after a much younger woman of say, 18-22. The ability of a 43 year old man to attract a hot young 19 year old can be a heady drug, but it's not likely to lead to a permanent, mutually fulfilling relationship.

[cancunhound]

... in response to Chasing fantasies, posted by surfscum on Aug 23, 2003

The age difference thing has appeared many times here.  Bottom line - it works in Colombia, now how it works back in the US is based upon your peers.
(Damn, I'm getting close to 40)
I see your point.

[Ralph]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Haven't you ever been marrie..., posted by DOMINGUIN on Aug 23, 2003

Nothing bad to say about your ex wife? Not going to hate all AW because you got divorced? Don't equate marriage with paying for sex?

THANK YOU! For a breathe of fresh air. Not sure how well it will play here at the frat house, but it is good to see and read a post like yours. Thanks again.

[Mark33]

... in response to This has got to be a first!, posted by Ralph on Aug 23, 2003

Dom,
    It does seem you are mentally very ready for a nice wife. Yes, women and relatioships are more than just sex. I am engaged to a woman who is close to my age. Near 30. She is beautiful and treats me like a king. But you would not believe how many guys much older than me tell she is old. They say If they ever married a foreign women she would be  an 18 -22 year old.
   I cannot believe how many guys see these girls as nothing but a hot piece of A**. I tell them I was looking for a relationship built on mutual love,respect,trust,compatibility,ect.
 My fiance is a professional and will be able to make a great living in the U.S. after a few yeras. I do not worry about her finding a better match for herself after acclimating here, because we pretty much match up. I did not go beyond my league so I can keep a wife for a few years, just to find a new one.
   Why marry a foreign woman then? First off,foreign or not, you look for a woman who is compassionate,loving,sweet,somewhat independent. One from a loving family who does not try to take advantage of others. Too many women out for a free ride overseas,and here in the U.S.
   The funny thing about people searching for foreign wives is the fact most men swear the women are much more sincere,and do not care about age differences.
  Well, in the U.S. there are plenty of girls that do not care about age differences either. Though you will find most of these girls hanging out with very rich men and she is called a "goldigger".
   In most poor countries, young girls perceive AM to be rich. So just like young girls in the U.S. , the age difference matters less when there is money involved. Many people will assume AM are worth much more that they really are.Like Mike says, even in the U.S. some do not mind the age difference, but those are ususally the ones who think she should be "taken care of",and compensated for her youth and beauty.
  The young foreign wife is often dissapointed when she comes to the U.S. and sees the reality of her "rich" American husbands life.
  I have heard of girls becoming topless dancers,nude models,upgrading to a richer husband or becoming  goldiggers once in the U.S. In fact, right now, I am dealing with a friend married to a 22 year old Brazilian girl who is seperated from him,and dancing nude because the "money" is just too easy.
 It is shocking that she knows alot of foreign girls in this country for a short time doing the same thing.Many of the girls she knows are Russian,latin. Most got here by marrying some guy they thought was rich. Now, they realize they can make $500-$1,000 a night and not have to deal with the guy they married.
   So, you are right. Men should think of women in a realistic way. Think with your big head,and choose wisely.If she is poor and needs assistance once in awhile, it is nice to help a little. But if a woman is asking you for money for a silly bill,such as her sister's phone bill or stuff like that you need to have a talk. Because it seems the family does not have much morals and they see you as nothing but an ATM.
   If you were engaged to an AW would you think it ok to help her financially once in awhile if she really needed help? If her parents were sick ?Sure you would.
  But would you be handing her money when her family runs up the phone bill or their electric bill? No way!
      Mark  

[cancunhound]

... in response to Re: This has got to be a first!, posted by Mark33 on Aug 23, 2003

great post BTW.