... in response to Battered Calenas, posted by elcolombiano on Aug 1, 2003El Colombiano,
I am sorry to hear about this. Who knows what really happened. The guy could be at fault, or the woman could be a snake. I am definitely not going back to agencies anymore, but I will rely on friends, and meet women already here. Here is part of my response to Cali James from a few threads down about why I don't want to go back to agencies anymore.
Aaron
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For the last year or so, I had been having major second thoughts about using agencies for many reasons. I don't think it is a bad thing if a guy wants to use agencies to meet a wife or for casual dating, actually it's an excellent concept. However, this is a list of things that are part of the agency circuit that I don't care for:
1.) negative stereotypes about the men of the foreign countries. I don't believe all latin men are abusers and womanizers.
2.) myths circulated about the "genuine merits" of the women.
3.) people who are desperate to marry quickly at the expense of using common sense. Then later they wonder why things went south, or why they never planned for unexpected things to happen. Just this past May, I saw a guy meet and marry a woman in 2 weeks, someone he couldn't speak with directly because he didn't know any Spanish. And he would get frusturated when trying to communicate.
4.) desperate controlling gringos who expect to find a submissive woman.
5.) the middle-life crisis gringos who prefer 15 years or more age gaps with the younger hotties.
6.) the guys who pass by the hoe-shacks for some quick trim, but then I see them in the agencies trying to play the nice guy role.
7.) the cats who play the "role-over women/role-over k1 visa" game.
8.) guys who have a dilusional insecurity with ALL women from their home country.
9.) the females that are looking for someone to save them from their problems.
10.) the ladies who push to get married too quickly.
11.) the gold diggers.
12.) the narco-traffick gang who are somewhere in the mix.
13.) the hoes in the agencies that come off as good girls, but will also let you know that they're on the block.
14.) just this past May, I actually survived an assasination attempt by someone who sent me a box of food to eat while I was at the agency. I was smart enough to realize the food was probably poisoned.
I've been experiencing these things for a couple of years now, and I don't think I want to put up with it anymore.
I have to be honest. I have mentioned on the board that I have Latin friends, and I do. None of my friends support my idea of using agencies, and only one or two support my idea of looking in Latin America. I really didn't want to have to rely on them to help me meet someone because if things wouldn't have worked with someone they would have picked for me, then I don't want my friends to look bad and bring them into the middle of it. However, now I realize that I'm going to need to rely more on my friends to help me find the right person. I have one really close friend, just like an older sister to me who lives in Colombia. So, I will have to ask her for some help.
On the other major hand, my strategy has shifted to meeting Colombian women in Miami. There are major reasons why I am starting to prefer women there, the list is as follows:
1.) they are already here, and I can see them more often before marriage.
2.) many already work, and if their family is here working, it will be less of a financial burden.
3.) less of a financial burden to visit them, and they can visit me.
4.) many of the Colombians in Miami, and other places in the USA, were more established financially back home, and came from higher social classes. With that, it is reasonable for me to think that the women are better kept.
5.) they already know English, and what it is like to live here in the USA.
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