Battered Calenas

[Aaron]

... in response to Re: Re: Battered Calenas, posted by elcolombiano on Aug 1, 2003

[This message has been edited by Aaron]

El Colombiano,

I did have a girlfriend. But, I decided to back out of it. I don't consider her a bad person, and she didn't do anything bad to me. However, the problem was that she had expectations that I didn't and still don't feel obligated to meet. So, I'm glad to have learned about them early, and I decided to end the relationship instead of taking the chance that things would work out. It helped allot because I was able to communicate with her in Spanish, and I was able to meet her family, and I told her up front that I was in no rush to get married in less than a year. That took the pressure off, and allowed me to get to know her better. Yes, I was considering on planning to marry her, but it was still too premature to make that kind of decision. I still have the jewerly, and I will hang on to it.

Now, as for meeting women in the USA, I know people who know people already here. When I purchased my plane ticket to go to Miami, in route to Colombia, I still have the ticket to Miami. But, I never purchased the ticket from Miami to Colombia. I will be in Miami in September.

El Colombiano, I don't think it is bad for anyone, especially you to meet women in Colombia. It is a good idea. Also, it's fine if you want to use an agency, but keep in mind that an agency is only an option, not a must.

Take Care,
Aaron

[elcolombiano]

... in response to Great question..., posted by Aaron on Aug 1, 2003

Thanks for your detailed responces.

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: Battered Calenas, posted by Aaron on Aug 1, 2003

Aaron,
I remember you swearing off agencies once before.For whatever reason you are disapointed with your results and have put together a list of everything bad that can happen there.There is some truth in all of it but in my opinion agencies are the  way to meet women that is most likely to succeed. You can meet alot of women quickly.There are problems ones for sure but many who are not.
Seems you got yourself convinced that you can find what you want here.If you had been able to do that before you wouldn't be here talking to us.For whatver reason that has not worked for you,even though you are a young guy.
So you got a new game plan,but so far it's just a fantasy because you have done nothing with it.So go give it a try in the real world.If it works you can brag it up.Till you do its  just a mind f---.
I suspect you will be considering Colombianas again when you get through dealing with what you can find here,even though at your age it should be possible but has not happened.
Don't put all your energy in to a good story of how well it can work.That drains energy from actually doing something.
There is something missing from this picture of why you go back and forth and don't like what you find.Maybe you just haven't found it yet.Maybe there are other issues we don't know about.

Pete

[Aaron]

... in response to Re: Re: Battered Calenas, posted by Pete E on Aug 1, 2003

but that's my personal business, isn't it? Do you think I'll share it on the board for the whole world to see?
And what is a mind f---?

Aaron

[Pete E]

... in response to Maybe, there are other issues...., posted by Aaron on Aug 1, 2003

Aaron,
Let me add a few more letters so you can get it.A mind     fu-k.Any more would get it banned.Its where you go through a long rational for why something will work without having actually done anything about it.An exercise in mental masturbation put another way.
I don't expect you to tell us if there are issues we don't know about that are stopping you,just wondering if thats part of it.Here you are in acedemia,school,with some prestiege as a teaching assistant or whatever.There is no better atmosphere than school to meet women,yet you don't.Wait till you get out in the real world,it will be alot tougher.
Something missing here?

Pete

[Aaron]

... in response to Re: Maybe, there are other issues...., posted by Pete E on Aug 1, 2003

I call thinking about it ahead of time.

Now, look at your own current state of affairs with your wife.

Maybe you should have had a "mind fu-k" before you jump into something you had no idea about. Then, you wouldn't be here trying to fool yourself, and other people on this board.

Take to the bank,
Aaron

[Pete E]

... in response to What you call a mind fu-k..........., posted by Aaron on Aug 1, 2003

Aaron,
Again you are using personal imformation to attack me.
I have told the truth about my situation even though I won't discuss it here anymore.I was not just venting but also warning guys of possible problems.Not only does my wife not like it but I am now convinced its not wise,for reasons you just made more apparent.
But it was a real world experience.I made my choices.I don't recommend doing it like I did,but it hasn't blinded me to all the success that guys I know and guys here have had.
What I was calling a mind fu-k was your returning idea that you can have what you want here so why travel to Colombia and face other issues.Problem is it hasn't worked for you,even though you got statistics on your side.You either want what you can't have or they don't want you or maybe you are just fantasizing and never ever try to actually meet people.I don't know the answer.Maybe you do.But it obviously has never worked for you ,evident by your presence here.And what is the point of getting on a board about finding foriegn latinas and telling guys it won't work?Seems to me you are confused and stuck between 2 alternatives,neither one of which is working for you but you are making a case why one will and one will not.Mental masturbation  sums it up I think.
And ,about age differences.We don't see many guys your age here.Usually they can find what they want here,at least temporarily.Guys looking for a younger prettier wife than they can get here is the main reason we are talking on this board.Now 15 years difference may sound like alot to a guy who is 29.14 would be a little young for you.But 40 's guys looking for 20's women and 50's guys looking for 30's women is pretty much the norm here.I know lots of guys who are happily married to women 20 +/- younger than them.If we wanted our own age we wouldn't have to travel.For sure there are risks.But its possible,we have alot of guys here proving it daily.
So why are you here other than to preach to us about the error of our ways?Is it a substitute for finding that girl you have rationalised you can?
I used to like you even though you seemed confused and niaeve.But condesending  and preachy confused and niaeve isn't very attractive.A guy who has done nothing telling us the error of our ways.
Life is a risk.If your not willing to take it you can sit home and fantasize.

Pete

[DallasSteve2]

... in response to Re: What you call a mind fu-k..........., posted by Pete E on Aug 1, 2003

Pete

I'm not usually coming to Aaron's defense, but I like to see everyone play fair.  It's true that Aaron was using personal information against you, but isn't that what you're doing?  He's told a little about his track record and now he's described a new approach.  That's all his personal info.  You're saying that his "new" plan hasn't worked for him before, based on his personal information.  What bothers me is when posters use personal failures to discredit unrelated ideas.  It's a poor debating technique.  But your difficulties may relate to use of the "razzle dazzle" courtship of agencies.  

Personally, I like to discuss people's personal experiences here.  They are usually the most interesting and educational posts.  There hasn't been nearly as much lately.  If it dries up any more I may stop participating out of boredom.  If any lurkers out there don't want to see this board blow away like so much dust, you ought to start contributing.

Steve

[Pete E]

... in response to About personal information, posted by DallasSteve2 on Aug 1, 2003

Steve,
I agree its a shame that personal stories have gotten more rare.Its my style to just tell all but its not wise in a way.Too bad.Actually I would probably still do it if it didn't bother my wife so much,and her spies tell her if I say anything.Even some pretty innocent references to past imformation could get me in trouble.
And you have somewhat of a point about me using personal imformation with Aaron. But taking several trips with little success is a whole different thing than telling personal imformation about your marriage and then having someone throw it back at you.But I guess thats what happens when you put it out there.Point unfortunetly made.I could speculate a little about Aaron but  won't.Some things he has said have given me some
suspicion about his issues.But that would really be unfair and taking us even more negative.And it would be using more personal imformation he told us.
I used to like Aaron,somehow he just rubs me the wrong way recently.Its like he,in all his wisdom is setting us strait.

Pete

[lswote]

... in response to Re: About personal information, posted by Pete E on Aug 1, 2003

I see the difference between Pete E and Aaron in the credibility of the information posted.  When you tell something personal and it is evident to the normal reader that this is sincere, credible information then that is one thing.  But when you throw out "pseudo-personal" information, i.e. information that isn't all that identifiable to the average poster, and don't do ANYTHING to backup that information with facts, i.e. pictures, other posters corroborating the story, etc., then it is a different story.  Even in the last few minutes, Aaron is now posting how he would be a "strata 15" in Colombia (on a scale of 1 to 6).  Now he just might have meant this as a joke, his sense of humor is too haphazard for me to be sure, but much of his "personal information" is delivered in the same unbelievable fashion and he is unwilling to be challenged on the information, but instead lords what he seems to think is his clear superiority on the board like it is unchallengeable by something as petty as logic or common sense.

I initially thought Aaron to be innocently naive and hoped to help him see things through more experienced eyes.  But it is clear to me that Aaron is naive because he is burying his head in the sand to experiences other than his own.  He seems to delight in feeling superior to others even at the expense of others in real pain.  I don't think you can say that about Pete E.  Hell, he still tries to see things from Aaron's point of view even though Aaron has twice now horribly insulted him.  He is a far more generous man than I am, that is for sure.

[Aaron]

... in response to Re: Re: About personal information, posted by lswote on Aug 1, 2003

as well as what NOT to do.

[lswote]

... in response to No, everytime I read this board I learn ..., posted by Aaron on Aug 1, 2003

And I guess tops on your lists of what NOT to do is say you are sorry, huh?

[lswote]

... in response to About personal information, posted by DallasSteve2 on Aug 1, 2003

The problem is that for every sincere poster who is willing to open up and share something personal that is interesting or insightful, there is someone who will attack him as a person for doing so

[cancunhound]

... in response to Re: Battered Calenas, posted by Aaron on Aug 1, 2003

"I actually survived an assasination attempt by someone who sent me a box of food to eat while I was at the agency. I was smart enough to realize the food was probably poisoned. "

Inquiring minds must know - did you test the poison theory in some manner? Did the guinea pig dog croak or what? Man you live dangerously Aaron, 007.

[lswote]

... in response to Assasination Attempt, posted by cancunhound on Aug 1, 2003

I wasn't able to help that person plan a more successful delivery.