Travel Question

[wizard]

I know this subject has been discussed to death, but I can't find any specific references in the archives, so bear with me...

My wife and I are planning a cruise in a couple months... After reading iswote's post below, I thought I'd better clarify our travel requirements... The cruise we want to take departs the US, stops in Key West, the Cayman Islands, Cosumel, Cancun and then back to the US.

From cancunhounds post, I gather that we need a visa for entry into Mexico, but does anyone have knowledge about visa requirements for my Colombian wife to enter the Cayman Islands???

Thanks in advance...

[Chris F]

... in response to Travel Question, posted by wizard on Aug 2, 2003

Hello Wizard!!

We met and talked briefly in Bogota in December. I know that you recently brought your lovely new wife here....is there anything you can share with the board about the adjustment process that you and her are going through?  I know some information maybe personnal but it is  a subject that is not covered here much and the more we can learn from one another about this entire process the better!!

Thanks in advance for anything you can share.

[wizard]

... in response to Re: Hello Wizard....could you share how ..., posted by Chris F on Aug 2, 2003

Hi Chris...

First, I enjoyed you recent series of posts related to the Calena you were courting... Sorry that you had to experience that, but hey, life is an adventure... At least you recognised the warning signs, which were many, prior to making any commitments...

I will post what I am comforatble in revealing... As you know, some folks take whatever personal information is posted here and use it as ammunition for future flame wars...

My wife and I have been married three months today... Without a doubt, it has been the best three months that I have had in a long time... The adjustment period has been a non-event for us... We knew each other very well before we decided to make the life-long committment... My wife speaks intermediate Ingles and since with live in an area with a LARGE latin population (Houston), there has been little or no adjustment required... I would dare say that there are more native Spanish speaking people in Houston than English speakers...

We have located grocery stores that stock all the brand names of products that my wife is accustomed to in Colombia... Even down to the brand of chocolate that she uses for hot chocolate...

My office is very close to home, so I come home daily for lunch... My wife COOKS for me daily... No, nothing zapped from the freezer... She actually cooks lunch and dinner daily... Right now, she is perfectly content in being a house-wife... Taking care of the home is second nature for her...

We have enrolled her in ESL 3 classes at a local community college... She just passed her driver's license tests and she is beginning to learn to drive (cringe)... She is anxious to find a job, but not until she is more comfortable with her Ingles on a daily basis with strangers... I don't care if she never wants to start work... Like most Colombians, she probably cannot find a comparable job here without some re-certification in her field... But that is to be expected...

She talks to her family in Colombia a few times a week and  has some Colombiana friends here in the states that she stays in contact with too... They kinda compare notes and act as a support group for each other (i.e. the Colombiana network)...

Her days are consumed with cleaning the house, cooking, going to the gym, sometimes going to the pool, studying, surfing the net, talking on the phone and sometimes reading this forum... Boy has she had some interesting comments on some of the posts here, but that's another story...

We have not had a cross word since she has been here... Knock wood... Communications is the key... Granted, I am not an over-bearing azz and she is not a femi-nazi... We complement each other well... We appreciate each other and make an effort to be there for each other... We both want to make this work... Granted, we are still in the "honeymoon period", but I don't see things changing for us... Except for only growing stronger and closer... We took the time to get to know each other BEFORE making a commitment... We comunicated daily for months and I made several trips to Bogota to be with her... We care for each other a great deal and I think that is the key... Neither one of us were in any rush to make a commitment without being postive about the motives and nature of the other person...

After many, many trips over seas, many false starts, many disappointments, I finally found "the one"... You should be half a lucky as me...

I wish all of you success in your search...

Mark

[Ralph]

... in response to Re: Re: Hello Wizard....could you share ..., posted by wizard on Aug 3, 2003

I am not saying this will be the case with you and your wife, and I certainly hope it is not, but in many cases 3 months is too soon to see the adjustment issues pop up. Things are too new. The both of you are too excited for these issues tu come to the surface.

You are certainly going about it the right way. I also knew my ex very well before Marrying. I also traveled home for lunch every day if possible, or picked her up to go to lunch with some of my co workers etc. The first few months were a breeze. After about 6 months, when things started becoming "routine" was when issues arose.

She fell into a rut of curling up on the sofa and watching TV all day, and complained of being "trapped". She wanted to work very badly but due to INS complications could not. There was a gymn, 2 swimming pools aerobics and tennis classes in our Apt. complex. She never went to the pool, used the gymn maybe 6 times, never did the aerobics or tennis classes etc.

She went to ESL 3 days per week, but other than that really fell into depression. I tried to help, by taking her out for a night on the town as much as possible. We ate out a ton, movies, dancing etc etc etc. As time went on, she didn't want to go out anymore. She would want to stay in on a saturday night and watch TV. This after complaining that she had nothing to do all week but watch TV. It seems the harder I tried, the more depressed she became.

I certainly hope this is not the case for you, but just wanted to give you a "heads up" that often it takes longer than 3 months for these issues to arise. Best of luck to you, you certainly seem on the right track!

[lswote]

... in response to Re: Re: Hello Wizard....could you share ..., posted by wizard on Aug 3, 2003

Thought I would throw in my 2 cents of my experience since it has been quite different and yet the net result is the same.  I daresay the feelings between my wife and me are where I had hoped they would be after several years of marriage, not merely six months.

But my experience has been a lot rockier than yours.  We had her illness which of course you know about, two major fights where we actually discussed divorce (we get along most of the time but when we disagree it can be rough as we are both very stubborn and compromise has to be worked at) and her transition here was rocky despite the fact there are many Latinos and she has several friends from Bogotá living here as well several new friends.  Her learning to drive was a horrible experience.  She initially took driving classes from a Colombian instructor but even though that was sufficient to get her license, it wasn't enough for her to be comfortable to drive alone.  It took another month of me accompanying her and then a friend accompanying her (and me accompanying her was the absolute pits as her driving terrified me and I let her know about it in less than gentle ways).  And even then it was another couple months before she would drive on the freeways.

But the thing is we both want to be married to each other and we found a way to get through the difficult times.  We talked to each other as best would could (her English is improving in leaps and bounds and my Spanish is improving though not at the same rate as hers).  We apologized and adjusted and forgave and we are now closer than we ever were before.

I think everybody’s experience will be different, but you can still end up with the same result.

[Wayne11]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Hello Wizard....could you sh..., posted by lswote on Aug 3, 2003

But in the end...even if the marriage works and you stay together, it will never be as satisfying or as close as a women from the same culture that has similar life experiences.

I have wonderful pretty American women on my boat on a daily basis.  They just aren't attracted to 10-15 year older men.  Why should they be ?  When was the last time we went out with an older wrinkled women that was 15lbs over weight and enjoyed.

Call it what it is.  There is nothing wrong with American women.  We are just not young enough to attract the ones we want anymore.

Some of us were too fat, or too much of a social recluse to ever attract one even 10 years ago.

Years down the road, there will still be that canyon between you.

We pay dear prices for these young  beautiful women.

Is it worth it in the end...probably.

That is what I think.

[DOMINGUIN]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Hello Wizard....could yo..., posted by Wayne11 on Aug 4, 2003

I can only post about my own experiences. I am an American, got married to an American woman at 25, she was 24, we were married for 23 years before we divorced and I shoud make it clear that I iniitiated the divorce.

We lived "the American dream", had an upper middle class lifestyle, owned a 2500 square foot house in the Portland suburbs (actually the bank owned most of it for the first 15 years), had one terrific son who had a 3.8 high school GPA, we had no major problems with him, we took nice vacations every year, together we earned well over a hundred thousand a year.  She was a very good mother, a hard worker, loyal and responsible.  So why did I divorce?

Most people think I had a mid life crisis (and maybe that is true.  But, I came to the conclusion that there had to be something more to marriage then what I was experiencing, no passion, no love, we were just objects to each other and I just couldn't stand the hypocrisy anymore.  Most of the people that we knew in our church group felt that I was the villain.  

I was never depressed after the divorce,I felt that I couldn't be more lonely then when I was married. I dated several women who were all divorced, on was 38, twelve eyars younger then me and I just decided that I wasn;t really attracted to American women anymore. They had forgotten how to be a woman, how to flirt, how to be seductive, how to make a man feel good.

I had always been attracted to exotic woman with curves and dark hair, but didn't marry that kind of woman.  I had seen a lot of Latinas in New York City when I grew up, but never had the guts to approach them.  It just wasn't done when I was a teenager, or I just didn't have the nerve to do it.

So at 50, I went to Colombia, just hoping to see some sights, learn something about the culture and have a good time with some attractive ladies.  I had one of the best times of my life, some ups and downs, but for the most part a terrific experience. I met more beautiful women in a month then I had seen in 30 years in the US.  Its great to go out with women who dress to enhance their figures, like to laugh and talk and have soft lips and full bodies, and I was dating women in their 30s and early 40s, not girls.

I don't know if I will marry a Latina, I certainly plan to go back to South America, as soon as October.  I know that if I marry and get a wife back to the US, there will be challenges, but there will be challenges in any marriage. I know that I don't want to die regretting things that I didn't do, there shoud be some adventure in life, and I want to be an adventurer.

I assume that most of the men on this board are either not married, or have been divorced, Comments would be welcomed, but if you want to flame me for initiating the divorce, I won't respond. Dominguin

I dated several American women after the divorce before I went to Colombia

[lswote]

... in response to Are American women that wonderful?, posted by DOMINGUIN on Aug 4, 2003

I initiated the divorce against my wife too.  We had a pretty good relationship compared to most people who get divorced but when the kids were grown she was never home and I was bored out of my mind with my life. I thought I would find someone pretty quickly as I thought I was so much more mature than when I was single before but I found out that the only women interested in me were either so unattractive or fat that I found no interest in them.  I won't argue the fact that I am not as slim and handsome as I used to be when I was younger either, but in all my experience with women, I never saw them able to be satisfied or not-satisfied by how I looked.  But I'll damn sure tell you it was impossible for my equipment to operate in a manner where I was satisfied when a woman was unattractive to me.

I do wish I could have found someone in the US, so that I wouldn't have to work so hard at the relationship.  But I don't think that means there will be a gulf between us or that it won't work out, just that I have to work a whole lot harder than I really wanted to.

[lswote]

... in response to Are American women that wonderful?, posted by DOMINGUIN on Aug 4, 2003

I initiated the divorce against my wife too.  We had a pretty good relationship compared to most people who get divorced but when the kids were grown she was never home and I was bored out of my mind with my life. I thought I would find someone pretty quickly as I thought I was so much more mature than when I was single before but I found out that the only women interested in me were either so unattractive or fat that I found no interest in them.  I won't argue the fact that I am not as slim and handsome as I used to be when I was younger either, but in all my experience with women, I never saw them able to be satisfied or not-satisfied by how I looked.  But I'll damn sure tell you it was impossible for my equipment to operate in a manner where I was satisfied when a woman was unattractive to me.

I do wish I could have found someone in the US, so that I wouldn't have to work so hard at the relationship.  But I don't think that means there will be a gulf between us or that it won't work out, just that I have to work a whole lot harder than I really wanted to.

[thundernco]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Hello Wizard....could you sh..., posted by lswote on Aug 3, 2003

Iswote,

After following your painful posts, "me allegra" that things are working out for you.  Continued happiness to the both of you. -TNC

[Michael B]

... in response to Travel Question, posted by wizard on Aug 2, 2003

Questions like this are WHY countries maintain Counsolate offices, that is who you should ask. Not trying to be smart, just want you to get the correct information instead of a bunch of our guesses, which may not be correct. Hey, hope you have a nice trip.

[wizard]

... in response to Re: Travel Question, posted by Michael B on Aug 2, 2003

No offense taken Michael... Just thought someone else here may have already crossed this bridge... I'll check the Cayman Consulate to see if there are any specific requirements... Of course, a cruise may be a different animal all together...

Thanks,

Mark

[cancunhound]

... in response to Re: Travel Question, posted by Michael B on Aug 2, 2003

The catch is that time period when your wife only has the stamp in her passport - that's when you've got to do some legwork because other countries could care a less about that 'visa'.  Now your cruise ships are a different story - immigration is normally not done like going through an airport - it's performed in the background on your ship.  1st, check with your cruise ship as to what documents would be required for your itinerary considering your wife's situation.  Then verify that info with the consulates of your destinations, and carry their responses in paper.  Here's a good visa link but still do the forementioned like Michael mentioned:
http://www.delta.com/travel/trav_serv/intl_travel/timatic/index.jsp

Now, my question would be - why be cramped up on a cruise?  Stick with one country, get visa, enjoy - try the area south of Cancun, you & your wife will not be dissapointed.

(OK - I love that place, sorry)

[wizard]

... in response to Echo that - , posted by cancunhound on Aug 2, 2003

Neither my wife nor I have ever been on a cruise... We thought that 7 days on a Princess Cruise out of Galveston for next to nothing would be a great way to unwind and just relax... Most of the stops are only for a day at most... Your suggestion on checking with the cruise lines is probably the most accurate... I would think that day tours in each locale may be covered under different rules than most traditional visa stays...

Thanks for the info...

[Red Clay]

... in response to Travel Question, posted by wizard on Aug 2, 2003

My wife is a conditional permanent res. with green card. We crossed to Tijuana recently with no visa and returned with no problem, but cruises might be different. Or maybe walking into Mexico from the US is never policed much, never seems to be anyone watching anything on their side when you cross on foot.