Hello from Bogota 6

[DOMINGUIN]

Hello from Bogota #6

I've been here now 13 days and met 26 women for at least an initial conversation. The last four days have been very full, meeting 12 new women.  In retrospect, I could have met even more women, but I was very specific and when I veered from my preferences, the results were a couple of stasndard deviations off. I have been drinking a lot of coffee to stay sharp, much more then I ever do in the US.  I have another 8 days in Bogota and then I will have to decide where to go next, I still haven't made any firm decisions.

At this point, I've seen a lot of the attractions and sites.  I've had one mild attack of "Montezuma's revenge", despite being careful what I ate, and it lasted about 30 hours and I was out of commission. Yesterday I was stood up for a sita (first time) and I had to reschedule one date because I was "indisposed."  Other then that, no one has been more then 10-15 minutes late.

Its certainly possible to meet several women every day, but its a lot of work. Yesterday, I had a morning sita with a lady at 10:00, another at 12:30,  a third sita at 2:30, a fourth at 5:30 and a (second) dinner date at 7:30.  The 10.00 was finised in 30 minutes, I went up to my room to take a nap, the 12:30 was great fun and there was definitely chemistry (certainly for me). The lady was a visual feast for my eyes, 36, about 5'3, short dark hair, big brown eyes, wonderful smile and teeth, she filled out her blouse unmistakeably and had beautiful calves.  I couldn't stop smiling, she was very friendly.  She is a secretary, no kids, has never been married, speaks only Spanish.  Rather then dinner or lunch, I asked her to go out with me on Saturday afternoon for sightseeing and we have a date.      

The 2:30 was with a realtor.  She got two cell phone calls in 15 minutes and did nothing to cut the calls short.  I told her that I had asked to meet her and not her cell phone, she waved her hand at me, I got up and walked out and stuck her for two cups of coffee and some pastry.  I told the agency what had happened and don't imagine I'll be seeing her again.  The 5:30 sita didn't show up or call ) first time that has happened.  The 7:30 dinner date was a huge disappointment, it didn't go anywhere, we talked but never got much of a personal conversation started. I'm not exactly inarticulate, she was a divorced 43 year old lawyer who spoke excellent English, and we ended up discussing American pop culture. It lasted about 90 minutes and it was tough sledding.  I had the feeling that she really didn't want to talk much about herself.  She was beautiful, well put together, just didn't seem to want to open up.  I put her in a cab and that was it.  

The fashion designer is no longer in the mix, we had a direct talk after our 4th date at the theater, she said that she was a proud woman and she did not intend to be "juggled." I was very direct, told her that I had been honest with her, I had not tried to manipulate her, I had certainly not tried to sleep with her.  She said that she had thought we might reach an "understanding", which I assumed meant novia/novio status. She had a visa and had been thinking of traveling to the US in September (her second time) and spend some time with me, but she wanted an understanding first  The logistics are a husband who she is legally divorced from, and a 9 year old girl and a job that she seems to love.  I told her that I had enjoyed her company, and if she was willing, we would stay in touch with her after I left and if she wanted to visit Oregon, I would be happy to spend time with her and show her my home state.  She told me that actually she wanted to visit Miami and New York City, and she was hoping to meet me there. I reminded her that my home was in Oregon, and if she or any lady wanted to see me and how I lived, it was't going to be in Miami or New York City. We parted company with a definite "edge" between us.

I don't want to b*tch about this process, meeting 27 women in less then 2 weeks in the US would be impossible. But sometimes I not sure whether I'm half in and half out of reality, and I know I'm probably missing a lot of signals because my Spanish isn't fluent.  The fashion designer spoke good English so it was easy to go out with her and there was no mistake in her meaning at the last date.  I'm relying a lot on my little antennae, and watching body language.  I always have two dictionaries with me, I try to keep my conversation to three tenses, past, present and future, I use my hands to make points and I  memorized chunks of Spanish that I use in first meetings, when i talk about myself, my background, why I am looking for a wife and what I am looking for in a woman.  if you come to Colombia, learn as much Spanish as you can!

Before I came here, I wrote some thoughts on an index card that I keep in my wallet.  I read it every day. and the card has become pretty creased.  Essentially I wrote myself that I didn't come to
Colombia to get laid, I didn't have a goal to propose to a woman before I got on the plane, I came here to learn about the culture, see the sights and meet women.  The agencies have done their job, I can't fault them for that.  I'm not depressed or discouraged, but I am tired.  I know that Calipro thinks I should be in Cali and who knows, maybe he is right. But tomorrow is another day.

Adios
Dominguin

[lswote]

... in response to Hello from Bogota 6, posted by DOMINGUIN on Jun 18, 2003

Hey DOM, I thoroughly enjoy reading your posts.  I am close to your age (49) and I lived in Eugene, Oregon for 10 years so I feel we probably have a lot in common.  I admire your poise and restraint during your search.  I was desperately lonely when I visited Colombia last fall and met my wife and though I feel I was lucky and met the right girl (I did have the fact that I live in the Miami area now and could visit Colombia every two weeks going for me to help me make sure I hadn't picked a sour apple) I didn't enjoy the process of looking very much because of my loneliness.  I would have liked to have kicked back a bit and enjoyed my surroundings more, and while I am not saying I didn't have any enjoyment looking, I admire that you seem to be able to be very objective in your search and enjoy the company of the girls and the activities and places you are seeing.

[Jersey Mike]

... in response to Hello from Bogota 6, posted by DOMINGUIN on Jun 18, 2003

Thanks for your trips reports on Bogota.  You are causing me to reconsider my plan to visit Bogota this fall.  I had thought that I would get along better with a more educated, professional woman.  The types of women that you are meeting sound like the types I would have chosen to meet myself.  However, as one poster said below, you can meet a self-centered, career-first woman here in the US.  Overall, their attitudes sound pretty disappointing.

I was under the impression that the girls from Cali are more oriented to partying and dancing the night away.  (I know - it's an unfair generalization.)  However, the guys who have traveled to Cali seem to be universally happy with the interest shown to them by the women there.

[Onephd]

... in response to Hello from Bogota 6, posted by DOMINGUIN on Jun 18, 2003

Hey Dom, how are you?  I don't know what agency you are using, but when I was there I used LAI(Nelson and Charlies Place) so my recommendation are based on my experience there.  I would suggest that you deal with what you have now for the remaining few days. I had three days of marathon dating and I felt that was enough.  I knew which ladies I wanted to see again and I did just that.  The thing I noticed about the women from LAI was that many don't meet many men so in lots of cases I was the first man the woman had met and they are just as nervous and shy as we are on our first appointment.  Remember that you go from beginner to professional in one day, since we have many appointments while there.  There was actually one lady that I thought was really quiet and perhaps did not like me, but I decided to ask her out anyway, just to see her response, and on our second, third dates, things were great.  She was just a shy person at first, so sometimes the first impression is not totally accurate(although many times it is). I for one prefer exchange a letter first and meet the women I have corresponded with.  That worked best for me especially since I wanted to weed out any women that might not like dating a black man.  It also helped me to know some basic things about the women.  But thats not an option for you now I know.

You met 27 women more or less. I"m sure that there are some that you want second dates with.  Start doing that now.  Charlie the owner at LAI told me that this is the hardest thing a man will have to do.  I have to agree with him.  It can be very hard until you meet some women that interest you. Now you're trying to find that person or persons..  It may take some time and almost for sure a second or third visit to find someone so don't look for the homerun right away.  Now its time to work those second and third dates.  Enjoy the food and try to learn more about the women.

[DOMINGUIN]

... in response to Re: Hello from Bogota 6, posted by Onephd on Jun 19, 2003


Hi.  

Of the 26 women, I found 9 that I asked out for second dates, 7 accepted, I've dated 2 women 4 times and one of those relationships is now over. I'm working on third dates right now. Other then one woman, no one has been really been very shy or timid, I am pre selecting women who are verbal, teachers, salespeople, women in office management and administration.  Most of the women have been confident, i tell them that this is my first time doing this and if they want to help me, I would appreciate the help.  It usually gets a big smile and a laugh.

Dominguin

[Onephd]

... in response to Re: Re: Hello from Bogota 6, posted by DOMINGUIN on Jun 19, 2003


Cool, then it sounds like you are going right along.  Don't worry, be happy and enjoy the time.  

[Calipro]

... in response to Hello from Bogota 6, posted by DOMINGUIN on Jun 18, 2003

Dominguin:

If you are going to come to Cali you should plan to arrive on the 26th of June and stay at the Intercontinenal Hotel. To get into the TLC socials on friday and saturday will set you back a grand. Personally I don't get enough out of the socials to justify spending a $1000 dollars. But, in your case it may be worth it. In general the women can be older and more educated and a little better off financialy and I think they might interest you (in short they are women that would probably never join a marriage agency). Even if you don't want to spend the money to get into the party, I can set you up with a guy that can help you cherry pick the parties.

As far as the agencies go, if you are not willing to lower the min. age of your dates to at least 29 or 30 some of the agencies in Cali are going to be useless to you. I would recommend Latin-Internet in the south or Latin Best in the north of Cali because they have the largest number of over 30 women. I think Latin-Internet is having a party at their agency on the 27th and it probably would be a good bet for you.

In my opinion the women in Cali are friendlier and more funny loving in general than women from Bogota. You might want to save the deep conversations until later in the relationship but pay a lot of attention to their body language. They are pretty easy to read. You can go out dancing 7 nights a week and the women seem to enjoy it more than a nice dinner but then again as a rule I don't date women over 30 so this may not apply. I save dinner in a nice place for only the the women that I'm really interested in.

Don't worry about double dating if you are going to go out dancing even if the other guys girl is 19 and yours is 32. They don't seem to pay as much attention to the age thing as we do and from my experiance they seem to get along great. My ex-wife was 21 at the time and her best friend was in her early 30's.

Have a good time and if you want to warm it up a bit head on over to Cali. There aren't as many sites to see around Cali unless you include women watching.

[DOMINGUIN]

... in response to Re: Hello from Bogota 6, posted by Calipro on Jun 18, 2003

I just got up, its a bit cold this morning in Bogota.

Calipro, as always I appreciate the advice, but we're just two different hombres. I think that a man's attitude about women are influenced (to some degree) by his father.  The story you posted about your 62 year old dad paying a smuggler to get his illegal 20 year old Mexican girlfriend across the border for him was "different."  I'm not criticizing, I'm just saying it was different and there is no part of that story that I can identify with.

I appreciate the pitch again for Cali, and if I do come in late June, I'll check in with Latin Best and Latin Internet. I had talked with Luz Amparo on the telephone before I left the States.  But, I want to see if anything happens this week in Bogota.  

The TLC socials in Cali don't sound appealing to me at all. A thousand bucks is a chunk o fmoney and I understand that there are something like 300 women and 30 or 40 men.  I'm a guy who likes to talk with one woman at a time and give the conversation time to develop. Its just my speed.  I think you're much more of a social party person then I am and what you like about Latin culture is the dancing, music and festive atmosphere. I've enjoyed some of that, I've gone out dancing twice and to a club to listen to live music in the last 2 weeks. I love the music so much I'm going again tonight.

I've tried to keep the sitas light and talk about whats on TV in Colombia or their work, or where they have been (outside of Colombia)or their kids. If they have a child I always ask to see a picture and of course, I show pictures of my son.  But if we go out to dinner after a first meeting and she can't or won't talk how about how she grew up, or about her parents and siblings, or her priorities, then I lose interest.  I have asked divorced women with kids, what part the father plays in the children's life.

For me conversation and flirting is a huge turn on. I can appreciate a woman's bust or her rear or her legs, or the curve of her neck, but truth be told, the sexiest part of a woman is her brain and how she uses it.  

You said you had to be sexually attracted to women and even though you didn't look at the ages on agency profiles, you ended up picking young girls.  You said that as a rule, you don't date women over 30, i thought if they were over 20, you passed!  Just kidding! What I look at are their faces, then then their interests, then their age, height and weight.  If they like to read, travel, go to dinner and the theater, they go on the list.

I think all men have "turnons". The pictures you posted of your ex-wife told me what turns you on.  Personally, I haven't dated a 19 year old girl since I was 19. What I have loved all my adult life are voluptuous women with beautiful faces who are great coversationalists, intelligent and just a bit plump. (I had a theory in college and it was only a theory)that plump girls were more passionate and tried harder in bed, and they were hungrier because they got ignored by all the guys obsessing about the thin girls.  I was thin in college but I had a steady stream of girlfriends with beautiful faces, big busts and a little weight around the gut. I would get teased by my friends, but while they were eating delivered pizza and watching ESPN together I was rarely alone on weekend nights from my junior year on.

I have one lunch date, an afternoon sita and a date for dinner and a flamenco exhibition. Anyone want to know something about Bogota?  

Have a good day everyone!
Adios
Dominguin  

[bogota vet1]

... in response to Re: Hello from Bogota 6, posted by Calipro on Jun 18, 2003

[This message has been edited by bogota vet1]

I wonder how much money the girls get from Keith's model websites ?
They probably get nothing.

Maybe 20,000 pesos a show, until some narco guy notices them, and picks them up for a wife or mistress.

[Calipro]

... in response to Model websites from Cali, posted by bogota vet1 on Jun 18, 2003

I have no reason to believe that Keith is anything but an upfront and honest businessman and I'm sure he must pay them more than 20,000 pesos or he would have already lost them as two or three of them are quiet nice:)

[Bueller]

... in response to Hello from Bogota 6, posted by DOMINGUIN on Jun 18, 2003

...but it would have cost you a potentially edifying conversation about pop culture: ix-nay to lawyers. I almost put in my profile "no lawyers or law students", but didn't think that would look too good.

 Good for you, though, the way you handled that rudemonger with the cell-phone.

[wizard]

... in response to Here's how you could have saved 90 minut..., posted by Bueller on Jun 18, 2003

you don't have to travel to Sur America... There are plenty of those here in the US...

I agree on the lawyer thing... I can barely stand to be in the same room with a lawyer, much less consider marrying one... Sorry if any of you guys are lawyers, but I have my reasons...

Reminds me of one of my favorite jokes...

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish??? One is a bottom feeding scum sucker and the other is a fish...

[Jeff S]

... in response to If you want a woman with an attitude,, posted by wizard on Jun 18, 2003

A cold blooded, bottom feeding, slimey, scum sucking scavenger with no balls...

[MikePastore]

... in response to I thought it was ...,, posted by Jeff S on Jun 19, 2003

No, that was a divorce lawyer.

[Jeff S]

... in response to Re: I thought it was ...,, posted by MikePastore on Jun 19, 2003

I stand corrected.