Dilemma

[colgre]

For months I have been planning to check out the TLC parties in Cali later this June. In the meantime I have met 4 women in Colombia through the magazines and listings. I have gotten to know them quite well, talking to each girl on the phone every weekend and emails during the week, and this has been going for several months now. I have 'filtered' out quite a few others so I think these girls are definitely worth me spending time with when I am there.

Here is the problem. I am only able to get away from my job for 10 days for this vacation, and travelling will eat up 2 days. That leaves 8 days. My plan is to try and see each girl (2 in Barranquilla, 1 in Bogota and 1 in Cali) AND still do the two nights at TLC in Cali, then date a few girls from the party in the following days. Is this doable or is this insane? I am thinking that I will only get to see each of the 4 girls for one day, then have to try to see other girls I meet at the party also. If I hit it off with any of the girls, I will want to spend more time with her but won't be able to. On the other hand, all 4 might not work out, and if I miss the parties, my trip will have been in vain.

There is one girl I like way above and beyond the others as we have serious chemistry over the phone and she lives in Cali.

Has anyone else been in this situation?

Any advice will be appreciated!

[Aaron]

... in response to Dilemma, posted by colgre on Jun 19, 2003

[This message has been edited by Aaron]

C,

Well, given that you have 8 days, and will be travelling to B/nqlla, B/gta, and Cali, also there are 4 women you are interested in, plus the TLC party you plan to attended; this is a tight schedule.

I advise you to consider the list of the four women, and proritize them before you go.

You want to atttend the TLC party; well you should expect to see many pretty ladies of all ages, but it may be more difficult to get to know them at the party instead of at the agencies. Allot of the women at the parties get turned off because of the ratio of few men to many women. It makes them feel cheap, so many wont even stay the entire time. Also, there's allot of women who go simply because of intrigue, not necessarily because they want to meet and marry a gringo. There will be allot of eye candy at the party, but it may not lead to anything. If you want to experience success at the party, YOU MUST BE DECISIVE AND DIRECT with the woman you want to meet. Get someone to help you translate if you need to, and go up to talk to the women. Don't be shy. The party costs too much, and you have too little time for being shy.

If it is a must for you to travel to meet the other four women, then I suggest that you not visit the agencies unless you can speak Spanish very well. The reason why is because the better you speak Spanish, the better you will be at maximizing your time. If you visit an agency, just schedule one day of introductions, with two or three ladies. I suggest LatinBest or LatinEncounters. Don't get stuck on any one, then decide not to meet the others on your list. You know more about them, and have a better idea about them, so you should meet them. After you attend the party, and possibly visit an agency, then travel to meet the others. Give each girl prior notice when you will be there to meet them. Keep your commitments.

Ok, here is some logisitics, say for example you visit Cali first, and meet someone you want to see again, but you have to see the others in the different cities. If I were you, I would be up front with everyone about your commitments, then travel to B/nqlla next (not Bogota). You can pick up Bogota on the way back. As soon as you get to B/nqlla, and you meet the other girls, but if you don't like either one, just cut your losses and drop them quick. Don't worry about being impolite. The issue is that you want to maximize your time. After B/nqlla get on the plane for B/gta to meet the other woman, spend some time with her. If you like her, you can spend some extra time with her because you have time from not spending too long in B/nqlla. If you don't like her, drop her quickly to maximize your time. Then, after that, you could decide if you want to head back to Cali to meet someone you may have met before, or return back to B/nqlla to visit an agency or the others from before, or visit an agency in B/gta.

After your trip just keep in contact with them, but realize that there's a good possibility that you might not meet the right one on this trip. But, it's possible. Also, I will say this too. For those that have limited time of about 10 days or so to visit, it's best to visit just one city and not travel around to different cities. The reason why is because you can get to know a woman that you are interested in better, and learn more about the city that you like better. This will help you on your future trips if you take any. But, this time, if you don't meet the right person, you will be at least able to see 3 different cities, and decide which one you like best for a future visit.

Take Care,
Aaron

[colgre]

... in response to You got a tight schedule..., posted by Aaron on Jun 19, 2003

Thanks for the advice Aaron. I think I am going to skip the TLC party and use one of the agencies.

Greg

[Kit]

... in response to Dilemma, posted by colgre on Jun 19, 2003

In a nutshell...not doable. You gotta know Colombia well to conceive such a trip. Many girls have very tight schedule and may not be available in a timeframe you have allowed yourself. My recommendation is to stick to one city. With agencies (in Cali for example) you will find any girl you want. And there is no shortage of them.

[cancunhound]

... in response to Dilemma, posted by colgre on Jun 19, 2003

Alot of truth in all the responses below.  If it is your first trip to Colombia and travelling solo, I wouldn't recommend shuttling to all three cities unless maybe you have prearranged "neutral" airport pickup and backup plans in each city.  Travelling nationally is not a hastle, it's kind of like the old days back in the states - you don't need to show up 2 hours early and all that crap.  Flights are short to just about anywhere in Colombia.  My 2 cents, I'd remove the TLC party as a variable in your vacation.  If you're a confident traveller, speak sufficient spanish, then what the hell - consider it - could be a fun trip and you'd see alot of Colombia.

[H2Oh]

... in response to Dilemma, posted by colgre on Jun 19, 2003

Forget the TLC party, save your money and just see the girls you have been talking to.

2-cents
Good Luck

[lswote]

... in response to Re: Dilemma, posted by H2Oh on Jun 19, 2003

He would end up wasting his whole vacation with no backup plan and nothing to show for it if there is no chemistry with any of the women.  Unfortunately phone chemistry and in life chemistry have little in common.  He has to have other options as well.  I think he should go to Cali, see the woman he likes the most and hit one or two agencies as well.

[colgre]

... in response to Bad advice, posted by lswote on Jun 19, 2003

Thanks, I think this is the route I will take, as it makes the most sense. I agree that phone chemistry and life chemistry are different as I have been burned before. I will probably check out Latin Best or Latin Encounters as my backup plan.

Thanks for advice.

[DallasSteve2]

... in response to Dilemma, posted by colgre on Jun 19, 2003

I think Cali James has good advice below.  You're going to regret trying to hit multiple cities.  As far as bringing the ladies to you, do that only if you are rich.  When I went to Bogota in 1999 there was one lady from Peru that was very eager to meet me.  I flew her to Bogota.  There was no chemistry.  It was a waste of $300.  Rookie mistake.

I attended one party in Cali (at the Villa Princesa).  There were about 30 women and 2 men.  Too much happening.  I didn't meet anyone interesting.  But I met my wife there in an interview that morning.

If you only have 10 days for vacation, interviews in Cali (or Bogota) agencies are your best bet.  Still it's a high risk adventure.  You can find a wife your first trip, but she may not be the right one.  There's just not enough time to be sure.

Don't get too concerned about anyone you are exchanging letters or phone calls with.  Until you meet them in person you don't have anything.  So don't make big plans with them before you arrive.  Keep your schedule open because you won't have enough time to interview all of the women you will want to meet after you look through their catalogs.

Steve

[luvslife]

... in response to Dilemma, posted by colgre on Jun 19, 2003

If you have some extra money you may consider bringing one of the girls from the cities outside of Cali to Cali.  You bring her in by plane or bus and get her a room for a couple of days.  Just a thought. Luvn Life

[Cali James]

... in response to Dilemma, posted by colgre on Jun 19, 2003

[This message has been edited by Cali James]

I don't think it's doable.  Three cities in ten days sounds like a logistical nightmare.  You'll end up spending only a few hours with each woman but a lot of time in airports and taxis. What a waste of your vacation and time. You'll come home with little more than when you left. Drop the woman in every port mentality and concentrate your efforts in one place.  

Based on what you said, I'd probably go to Cali and meet the gal you mentioned was your favorite however realize that phone chemistry means little compared to real time in person.  If you find you don't hit it off with her as you expected, move on as quickly as possible. Don't waste a lot of time on a woman you have reservations about but at the same time don't rush things with any one woman either.  There's a balance to be found and the 1st couple trips to Colombia are best used for getting to know the culture and the women.  (-:

I personally think the TLC party may be fun but it's not really a good environment for getting to know these women.  Consider dropping in on Latin Best instead.  If your a 1st timer, in my opinion your probably better off just going for the education.  You don't have to return engaged.

The first time I went to Colombia I was naive about a lot of things. I remember feeling like a kid in a candy store and the temptation to jump into a relationship with the first gal I liked was strong.  The problem is, the first timer in many cases, can't tell the difference between the good girl and the bad one.  I think this comes with experience and time in Colombia.  

Anyway good luck on your trip.

[roadken]

... in response to Dilemma, posted by Cali James on Jun 19, 2003

I agree that a "one girl trip is a mistake.It is one that I made myself.Phone chemistry is different from actually meeting them.He should go to a City of his choosing and join an agency or two and have the girls come meet him.That way if they do not work out he has options and will not have a wasted trip.

[HeyNow]

... in response to Re: Dilemma, posted by roadken on Jun 19, 2003

Here is what I think.  Due to the fact you haven't met these women in person, you must be totally convinced with the photo.  Take for instance; If it is a photo of the face only, then there is usually a reason why (and it isn't good).  When you see her in person you will be far from convinced.  Some guys say "you can't really tell by the photos" and that isn't always true.  If you look at the photos of some of the "Colombian model"  websites the photos are from angles (they are wearing tight clothes also) that will give you an excellent idea of what they look like.  There are some similar agency photos also.  So, stick with the women that look great.  Avoid photos of women wearing black.  This is usually a trick, black offers no shadows and chances are her looks won't convince you. Again there is a reason why she is wearing black in the photos (and it isn't a good one).   Some guys met their Colombian wife in person before seeing any photos.  The ones that saw the photo first will usually tell you that the photo was convincing.  I met a gringo that wrote a 36 y.o.  Bogota gal for three months and went on the "on woman trip" when he arrived she was definately "all that".  He proposed.  I think the key here is she looked fantastic in the photos and looked fantastic in person.  She was a wonderful person to boot.  There will be gringos that will insist you can't tell by the photo.  True, it depends on the photo (again, check out the model site).  If you "can't tell" there almost always a reason why.  The photo was taken that way to fool you into believing something that isn't true.