What color is this lie?

[Bueller]

I met a young lady locally (Brazil) via Yahoo personals. I've been meeting a number of young ladies recently via various methods, but this is one more avenue for me. I've decided to stay here and start a business, but to have the right to do so I need to marry a brasileira. Not a problem; I wanted to do that anyway, but now I'm a bit more motivated to do it fairly soon. This lady contacted me after seeing my profile, and hers says she's 28. She's a pediatrician who apparently did a double specialization and also practices dermatology in another city a couple of days a week. To unwind on weekends she likes to do such things as jump out of airplanes, rappel off tall bridges, and run marathons-- she's now training for next year's Iron Man competition. Wow. My last girlfriend here was as sweet as anything, but didn't like to exercise at all. This lady is a nut about it, and is going to
take me whitewater rafting next weekend (and if I stick around long enough, who knows what else).

 Well, today we went to a biathlon together; she competed, I watched and took pictures. Afterward, looking over the stat sheet of who finished in what place, her name appeared not in the 25-29 year old group, but the 30-34 year old group. She got a little trophy, so I know it wasn't a typo or something. I'm 35, so 30-34 is no problem for me, but 30-34 is not 28. I didn't say anything, but it sure got me thinking.

  So...what color is this lie, and what would you do about it?

[DallasSteve2]

... in response to What color is this lie?, posted by Bueller on Jun 15, 2003

Bueller

I don't know what color this lie is, but it's not a white lie.  A white lie is one that is told in order to not hurt the feelings of the other person.  It would not have hurt your feelings if she told you her true age.

A poster on LWL wrote to me once: "If she lies about anything more important than what we're having for breakfast, it's over".  To me her age is more important than what we're having for breakfast.  You have to decide for yourself how important that is.

Steve

[Landover]

... in response to What color is this lie?, posted by Bueller on Jun 15, 2003

Just be estactic you found one who likes to exercise, that is a great quality, exhibits drive, and will be a big pay off for you in the future.

[Pete E]

... in response to What color is this lie?, posted by Bueller on Jun 15, 2003

My wife listed her age 2 years younger than it was on her profile.I found out when I saw her paperwork we were putting together to get a marriage certificate.I asked he,she readily admited it with a little smile.I didn't care.33 was easier to explain to family and friends than 31.
Lying directly to you would be a little different,but still is probably no big deal.She will probably admit it when you ask.

ete

[Michael B]

... in response to What color is this lie?, posted by Bueller on Jun 15, 2003

Maybe it's an old profile? I've still got a couple floating around that say I'm 49 (be 53 in August)...a lot of those sites don't automaticaly re-calculate the age, it just stays what it was the day she entered it...I wouldn't worry about it.....then too, like a couple of other guys said, maybe it's a cultural thing (women NEVER get older than 29, and even up here, Jack Benny was 39 for 40 years)....as long as everything else clicks, I really wouldn't worry about it.

[Bueller]

... in response to Re: What color is this lie?, posted by Michael B on Jun 15, 2003

That's possible. Regarding what Mark asked below, she didn't tell me she was 28, the profile said so. Based on my birthday, Yahoo says I'm 36, which I will be in a couple of months. Amigos.com automatically calculates how far away someone lives from me, but it's often comically wrong, e.g. someone in my city lives 86km away. Hmm. Maybe much ado about nothing here?

[Michael B]

... in response to Re: Re: What color is this lie?, posted by Bueller on Jun 15, 2003

Much ado about nothing-at least on the age. Now, about that jumping out of airplanes business.....

Say, I remembered a joke (think I posted it about a year ago, but it fits this situation)

Gracie?

Yes, George?

Last night at the party I overheard you telling some of the girls how old you are.

So? What's wrong with that?

Oh, nothing, just that later on you told some others how long we've been married.

Well, I'm proud to be married to you.

I know, but what if they get together and compare notes? I can't have people going around thinking that I married you when you were four years old.

[markxport]

... in response to What color is this lie?, posted by Bueller on Jun 15, 2003

Hello B,

Go with the flow and see where the relationship leads you.  I'm sure your lie dectecting antennas are powered up and searching for the next one, but don't let one lie stop you.  Might be a cultural thing where she thinks she won't attract anyone because she is +30, despite being extremely active.  Trust me, USA personal ads are full of "29" year olds, well they have been for about the 5th or 6th time.....

Later on, when you know more about her, and you know you want to develop a long term relationship, bring the issue up.  At that point, I'm sure it will be a non-issue with you.  Just make sure she knows that when you bring the matter up.  Hell, she may tell you before you have a chance to bring it up.  Best of luck!

Take care,

Mark

P.S.  Did the ad say she was 28, or did she tell you she was 28.

[stefang]

... in response to What color is this lie?, posted by Bueller on Jun 15, 2003

Maybe she wanted to compete against the older women to have a better chance a winning. Just kidding I don't know I would lose faith in  a woman already lieing about something. Bueller where might you think of trying to start a business? I am going to Brazil in a couple of weeks to meet up with my girlfriend.

[Bueller]

... in response to Re: What color is this lie?, posted by stefang on Jun 15, 2003

I'm down south in Florianópolis. Where are you going?

[stefang]

... in response to Re: Re: What color is this lie?, posted by Bueller on Jun 15, 2003

Rio Claro and some other places in the area where her family lives. It is north of Sao Paulo about 50-60 miles. Is it cold there right now since it is winter?

[Bueller]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: What color is this lie?, posted by stefang on Jun 15, 2003

You can get good weather information at www.weatherunderground.com . I just made a quick comparison and it looks like it's slightly warmer up there than here. Here it's sweaters in the morning and evening, short sleeves OK during the day. There it's a high of 82º today and tomorrow. Enjoy.

[stefang]

... in response to Re: Brazil, posted by Bueller on Jun 16, 2003

Thanks, I have followed the weather and it looks like it stays in the 70-85 degree range so it will be nice for me not to warm. Now if we go further north to Bahia beach region then it will get warmer. I just hope it does not rain to much so we can get out to visit places.

[lswote]

... in response to Re: What color is this lie?, posted by stefang on Jun 15, 2003

To a certain extent, women lying about their ages and weight seems to be a little different than normal lying.  My wife said in her agency profile she was 30 when she was actually 32 (she told me on our second date).  She only looks 25 and I was 48, so it was actually a bit of a relief to find out we were closer in age.  When she got a copy of her birth certificate so we could get married she learned for the first time that her mother wasn't 25 when she was born, but 35, so that means her mother lied about her age by 10 years even to her daughter (all her life my wife thought her father was 20 years older than her mother when he was actually only 10).

I would first ask your friend about her age and see what she says.  Many women are very touchy about age and weight and I would cut her a little slack there until you talk to her.

[stefang]

... in response to Not your usual color, posted by lswote on Jun 15, 2003

Iswote, I have been in contact with my girlfriend for awhile now so I know her age she didn't lie to me but I understand what your saying. Brazil is a very macho society so the older women start to feel they may have a lie to get a partner or it could just be the all women are the same.

You reminded me that my girlfriend doesn't even know her mothers age. Her mother told her it is not important and she doesn't need to know, I found it funny my girlfriend told me this. We have a very open relationship but it took awhile for her to trust me so I wouldn't get answers right away until I earned her trust.

I can't wait for my first trip to Brazil I met my girlfriend in Lisbon Portugal,  so I have never been to Brazil. I was invited to stay with family so I will see how my girlfriend is like in her home.