Interesting occurance

[Pescador]

... in response to Re: Interesting occurance, posted by Hiker on May 18, 2003

Thanks hiker, you think she might see this other guy before me? I was supposed to meet her at the customs. I just cant figure when she is planing to see the guy, maybe hes her saftey net.  The wierd thing is I sat down and talked with her brother about her coming to see me, basically got his blessing. Now I am thinking maybe I am a diversion to get to maybe see this other guy in New York that hadnt the time to go see her in bogota. He must talk really good (I know not spanish which I know some), and I know he has more money than me.

[Hiker]

... in response to Re: Re: Interesting occurance, posted by Pescador on May 18, 2003

Man I feel for you having to deal with this.  The one thing that is for sure is that there are some real flowers in Colombia, we just have to wade through the weeds to get to them.  I would suggest making her chase you if she wants you.  Tell you that you are not a fool and you are looking for a woman who deserves your love.  She will either take that as an opportunity to let you go, or she will make things more clear.  At any rate you will win either way.  

Sometimes tough love is the only solution.  

You know, I remember doing the same thing.  I was emailing two different girls in Boliva a couple years ago.  One day I got them reversed in my mind and sent each an email intended for the other.  It was a bad feeling when I realized what I had done.  But of course no commitments had been made or anything.

[Red Clay]

... in response to Re: Interesting occurance, posted by Hiker on May 18, 2003

Dang, she had some nerve or was very confused about what she wanted!

[HeyNow]

... in response to Re: Re: Interesting occurance, posted by Red Clay on May 18, 2003

I am sure everyone has an opinion about this.  After 40 days with her I think I would have proposed marriage.  It sounds like you weren't really  convinced she was the "one" and by the looks of things she really wasn't totally convinced either.  Think about this and if you believe you are totally
convinced, then bring the ring to miami.  ask the big question and see what she says.  If she says no then cash in that ticket (and sell the ring).  If she is truly attractive then count on competition (especially from guys with more money).  Money talks!  even in Colombia.  Don't kid yourself.  Nonetheless, there is a chance she has a true love for you in her heart and she will say yes (she must love you if she says no to money)  You both will live happily ever after.

[HeyNow]

... in response to Re: Re: Interesting occurance, posted by Red Clay on May 18, 2003

I am sure everyone has an opinion about this.  After 40 days with her I think I would have proposed marriage.  It sounds like you weren't really  convinced she was the "one" and by the looks of things she really wasn't totally convinced either.  Think about this and if you believe you are totally
convinced, then bring the ring to miami.  ask the big question and see what she says.  If she says no then cash in that ticket (and sell the ring).  If she is truly attractive then count on competition (especially from guys with more money).  Money talks!  even in Colombia.  Don't kid yourself.  Nonetheless, there is a chance she has a true love for you in her heart and she will say yes (she must love you if she says no to money)  You both will live happily ever after.

[Pescador]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Interesting occurance, posted by HeyNow on May 19, 2003

Good Advice, I will try that and let you know what happens. After we left I was sure 100percent, she was sure 100 percent just she has high respect for her family and knew her brother would not approve so soon, she wouldnt hold hands with me in front of him until after the third week.

[HeyNow]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Interesting occurance, posted by Pescador on May 19, 2003

Just a bit more opinion.  I think she is just keeping her options open for someone that will "seal the deal".  Most women would like to have both "a good deal" and "true love" at the same time but, will choose the good deal over the latter if they must.  Did you ever see the movie "The Bridges of Madison County"?  Women love this movie.  The holding hands reminds me of something. I had a novia last year that liked to kiss me in public.  When we spent the day with her mother and grandmother (her idea) I was sure she wouldn't try to kiss me in front of them.  She did anyway.   It was quite a surprise because I really don't consider myself some "studly" dude.  Go for it Pescador, life is short.

[beenthere]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Interesting occuranc..., posted by HeyNow on May 19, 2003

Life is also too short to invest time, heartache, money, with a woman who is not being totally honest & sincere.  Pescador has already admitted the woman has tendancies to tell white lies (to her family and also about who sent the flowers).  I'm not sure what everyone else's experiences are in Colombia, but from mine and a knowledge of the culture, when 2 people become novios, it is very important, especially to the woman.  No keeping options open, no keeping someone on the side.
Yes life is short, why not invest time with a woman who is totally into you.  "Seal the deal", I just don't think sincere Latinas think in those terms.  Being novios for now is a great committment to them.

[yorktr]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Interesting occurance, posted by Pescador on May 19, 2003

Without a diplay of emotion or confrontation, I would just send back to her the email which was mis-sent to you, and just add a note that "I think you sent this to me by mistake", and see what happens. Let her squirm a bit or else feel the necessity to make excuses. Watching the reaction may tell you more than you need or want to know. Just make sure you don't give her a good reason to be defensive by being confrontational. Excessive defensiveness without confrontation in that case would be an indicator of a guilty conscience. At least you should get the details of the story from her. As you have admitted, you are both technically still "free agents", and must accept the prospects of competition if you are both still members of that agency.

[wizard]

... in response to Re: Interesting occurence- What I would ..., posted by yorktr on May 19, 2003

That's the perfect tactic... Send the mis-sent email back to her and watch her squirm...